We, the members of the graduating class of 1955, had intelligence....Now, after 50 years of living, we have gained wisdom.
At the time of our graduation, there was a notion that cardiovascular exercise could prolong life. We now know that a heart is only good for so many beats.
For awhile there was talk about cutting down on meat and eating more fruits and vegetables. You must grasp logistical efficiencies. The graduating class of 1955 came to the following consesus.... What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Another theory the graduating class of 1955 investigated is how to calculate body/fat ratio? So simple....If you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Now articles have been written regarding advantages of participating in a
What....No fried foods. Fried foods are bad for you? YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they are permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Someone at the meeting wondered if sit-ups help prevent a person from getting a little soft around the middle. The consensus of the graduating class of 1955 is as follows: Definitely not! What happens when you exercise a muscle? It gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Another person wondered if Chocolate was bad for them. The graduating class of 1955 privately wondered if the person was crazy. HELLO.....Cocoa Beans....another vegetable!!! It is the best feel-good food around!!!!!
Someone else wondered if swimming was good for their figure. The graduating class of 1955 asked, "If swimming is good for a figure, explain whales to us."
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideway.
Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride.
Do not waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that is like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap!
What is all this noise about reducing alcohol intake? The graduating class of
1955 thoroughly researched this notion. The consensus of the study is as follows: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine... that means the water has been taken out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. So.....Bottoms up!
regular exercise program. After 50 some years of being adults, the class of 1955 has concluded.....Cannot think of a single advantage, sorry. Our philosophy is: No Pain....GOOD.
The last question of the evening..."Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?" The answer given by the graduating class of 1955...."Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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