The Perfect Diet
Breakfast
- 1/2 grapefruit
- 1 slice of whole wheat toast
- 8 oz. low fat or skim milk
Lunch
- 4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
- 1 cup steamed spinach
- 1 cup herbal tae
- 1 Oreo cookie
Mid-afternnon snack
- Rest of Oreos in pack
- 2 pints Haagen Dazs ice cream
- 1 jar hot fudge sauce, nuts, cherries, whipped cream
Dinner
- 2 loaves garlic bread with extra cheese
- 1 large sausage and cheese pizza
- 4 cans or 1 large pitcher beer
- 3 Milky Way candy bars
Late evening news
- Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake eaten directly from the freezer
Rules for this diet
- If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
- When you eat with someone else, calories do not count as long as you do not eat more than they do.
- Food used for medicinal purposes never count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee cheese cake.
- If you fatten up the people around you, then you look thinner.
- Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and are not part of one's personal intake. Examples are Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Jr. Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.
- Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes caloric leakage.
- Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich or ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.
- Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples include spinach and pistachio ice cream, cauliflower and whipped cream.
NOTE: Chocolate is a universal substitute and may be used in place of any other food.
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