| Wednesday 2 April 2003 5:30 pm It's amazing how quickly time flies. For one thing, it's already April. I don't even know where the first three months of the year went. I mean, I still kind of feel like I just graduated, but that was nearly a year ago. It doesn't seem too long ago that I was sure I'd never see a particular person again, but he's back in my life. And on a more somber note, a dear friend of mine passed away 4 years and 3 days ago. It doesn't seem so long ago that things were different. I am sitting in my English class right now. A woman in front of me is checking out wedding cakes online. Weddings. Hmmm. I'm at a point in my life where I feel WAY too young to be getting married. But I am hearing more and more of former classmates tying the knot or starting families or both. I mean, it's still sinking in that my crazy friend from high school is now a married, house-owning, mother. Another friend wants to have a baby. I just recently ran into a guy I knew in the 5th grade, and I met his fiancee. I can't even find a guy that I want who wants me back, and all these cats are getting doing all these "adult" things? The idea of matrimony, though, remains highly appealing. As much as I hate it, I can be a total girly girl about these kinds of things. I'm enjoying just watching these multi-tiered cakes flash by on the woman's screen. I get a warm tingly giddy feeling inside. They're so pretty! And I can't wait to find the bridesmaids dresses and the perfect invitations and stuff. I even know what I want the color scheme of my wedding to be. Its like a flashback to my marriage assignment during my senior year of high school, but I actually LIKE thinking of this stuff now. I should probably start a Wedding Book a la Monica from Friends. I may not be getting married anytime soon, but one should always be prepared. Hehe. I'm not entirely sure how that husband will be found, though, since I've repeatedly been told that I have something of a wall up around me. A wall and plenty of barbed wire. Just because I don't share everything with everyone (though I'm sure it seems like I tell everyone everything) doesn't mean that I'm a closed person doomed to be alone. I don't see a need to tell people, even my closest friends, every little thing. I don't even tell people all the big things. I don't see why it matters, I suppose. More importantly, it's MY business, and there's no reason to burden someone else with them. Will that make it harder to get into a serious enough relationship with a potential for marriage? Maybe. But like I said, I don't expect to be getting married anytime soon. I have a hard time picturing myself in a serious relationship! The thing is: time is passing so quickly that that time will probably be coming up sooner than I expect. Will I be ready? Depends on who the person is, I suppose. It's going to be a hell of a man that gets to me. One day my prince will come. Or else I may have to hunt one down and make him mind. Watch your back, Orlando. |
| howl call it a journal, or something like that |