LIVINGSTON NJ - The Livingston Avenue Strip Mall, which once contained timeless stores like Baskin Robbins, China Delight, and the grocery store "Kings" was engulfed by local junior, Katrina Chang, 16. In a flash of gnashing teeth and frightful jaws, Chang effortlessly polished off the buildings one by one.

Workers in the neighboring convenience store 7-11, which was spared by Chang, could only watch in horror as this normally amiable violinist swallowed the stores.
Dhamajapur Nagavishakhapatnam, manager of the 7-11, said, "Holy Allah, they didn't stand a chance against her," as he was re-marking the pricing of Doritos and Slurpies.

"It was horrible! My little boy was in there!" cries bereaved mother Leah Feder, "Oh wait, can that be taken off the record?" she adds.

According to leading Katrina experts Khalida Itryeva and Melynda Lin, after the obliteration of the area, Chang went home to have a snack of peanut butter and saltine crackers. It is believed that after doing calculus homework, Katrina stepped on a scale and exclaimed something along the lines of, "Holy Shit! I've gained weight!"

While expert analysis by resident physics teachers elucidates her actual weight increase to be 1.87 pounds (adjusted to three significant figures), her dramatic increase in bulk has gotten residents of Livingston buzzing with excitement.
"Shit-eating Dickwad!" exclaimed Sandeep Jain when told of the news, "That means she's now...80+2…that's err…um…77 pounds!" Iris Leopold, Livingston's K-12 math supervisor then applauded Jain for his excellent mathematical deductions and recommended him for the Seton Hall math team competition.
As of press time, Chang has not offered commentary as she is vigorously sprinting around the Livingston Civic Circle in an attempt to regain some smidget of her former slim figure.

Local food businesses scurry busily as they amass MP5 Navy Sub-Machine Guns, AK-47 rifles and HE grenades to ready themselves for another Chang attack.

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