Chapter 30

Inside the room, Toshiro sat down and began relaxing his heartrate and his nerves. No nerves, he thought to himself. This isn't the gaunilet; this is just a recon jaunt...

The knock on the door a half hour after they arrived triggered his return from trance. Snapping upright, Toshiro moved to the side of the door as Cael stood near it. He would let Cael handle the talking for this....

Cael looks up when there's a knock on the door, and quietly watches as Toshiro move towards the door, presumably to be in position to rip it open and grab whomever it was outside. We paid extra not to be disturbed, Cael grumbles to himself. Trust a houri to take your money and still bother you. "Go away, Trollop! We told your mistress to leave us alone!"

::Most assuredly you did not, sir. My mistress said she would find you later, and lo, we have found you.:: Rasiqua paused. She was loathe to speak the elf's name, for fear of being heard and questioned.

Good point. 'Krissa Gallowglass.'

What sort of heathen name is that?

One the people within will recognize. Use it.

::Er,:: she continues in Ehosian, ::you know someone so-called 'Krissa Gallowglass,' yes?::

Cael looks up at Toshiro when the voice mentions Krissa. Damn, it could be someone 'Leaf sent... hells, it could be 'Leaf. Who knows how many people she has trapped in that body. Or it's someone who knows about us. Either way... Seeing Toshiro getting ready to open the door, hopefully to pull the woman into the room, Cael gives him a nod. He also gets a grip on his walking staff. If they had to silence this woman quickly....

Exchanging nods with the young priest, Toshiro opened the door just enough to admit the visitor.

Rashiqa was relieved when the door cracked open and slips through it quickly. The narrowness of the opening gave her the opportunity to step in sideways and twirl a bit to straighten out, showing off her hair to good advantage.

Rashiqa seems to Cael as if she stepped out of the pages of a djinn tale. Perfectly bronzed skin, waves of dark hair, almond-shaped brown eyes, a neck like a smooth marble pillar, lips neither too thick nor too thin... (Indeed, Rashiqa *did* step out of the pages of a djinn tale. The physical form is, as near as 'Leaf could garner from her studies, an ideal of feminine Ehosian beauty.) To Toshiro's eyes, she may still be lovely of form, but is far too swarthy to be a true beauty. And that nose is a bit on the large side.

When she sees Cael's firm grip on his staff and the look on his face, she falls to her knees in a flutter of silk robes, holding out both hands beseechingly and shaking her head, brown eyes wide and frightened. ::Oh, no, gentle sir...!:: she implores.

Cael can do aught but stare as Rashiqa swirls through the door, then falls at his feet, cowering. The only thing keeping Cael from convincing himself that he hadn't just stumble into a chapter from "Croce the Fakir" is the fact that several infidels also stand in the room. Infidels who're trying to help him cleanse his country, true, but infidels none the less. After several seconds of just staring, Cael finally realises he still has a combat grip on his walking staff. He eases it down. ::M..my Lady, what are you so afraid of? This staff? You should know as well as I that one must be careful in this part of the city. Please, My Lady, do not be afraid of me. Arise.:: He offers his hand, to help her back to her feet. ::Now, My Lady, where did you hear of the name Krissa?::

The dusky-skinned beauty tentatively takes Cael's hand and steps lightly to her feet. ::Oh please, good sir, do not call me 'Lady' for it is high above my station. I am Rashiqa.:: She executes a little bow by way of greeting. ::My mistress gave me the heathen name so you would know I came from her.:: She glances to be sure the door is closed before pronouncing the elvish syllables that translate to "Falling Leaf." ::That is her name. Despite the fact that she is...:: Color rises in her cheeks and she casts her eyes towards the floor. ::...not Ehosian, it is given to me to assist her. And, by her command, to assist you.:: Exactly as she says "you," she lifts her head slightly and looks up at Cael through her long eyelashes.

Elsewhere, 'Leaf considered dumping the houri right now and just dealing with the Taint. If it wasn't for the fact that this was the only persona left who could navigate this city safely, she'd have done it.

Rashiqa. Even her name is from a fairytale. Entranced with her, Cael almost missed the girl saying Falling Leaf's name, and in Elvish no less. His mouth puckers into a frown. A fleeting frown, though, as Rashiqa looks up, straight into his eyes. He tries to smile again, if for no other reason than to keep her from becoming upset. ::Is your...mistress,:: and at this, his mouth puckers again, as if tasting something foul, ::is she nearby? I fear we needs talk with her.:: Silently, Cael wonders what kind of hold Falling Leaf has on this woman, that she can control her. Eho above! he thinks, there must be some way to release those 'Leaf has this control over. A sudden, sneaking suspicion tugs at him, but he refuses to let himself believe it.

::Oh, quite nearby. Do you think it is safe?:: With Toshiro guarding the door and the curtains drawn, she is finally persuaded that no one will be able to see the elf when she arrives. ::I shall summon her.:: Rashiqa kneels down on the floor, staring at something just past her nose.

Falling Leaf curses internally. She had hoped to keep that form for longer, if possible. Each time she altered herself, she had to dip again into the dark power available to the Dae Faroth. This would be the third time today, and she felt like someone had covered her soul in foul mud. At least this time, she could do it properly. Rashiqa began the meditiations, then Falling Leaf joined in. Slowly, she started packing Rashiqa away in her mind, until only Falling Leaf was concentrating on the mental patterns that enabled the changes.

In the stuffy room, close with the odor of stale sweat, the process takes a good hour. The physical change is not as gradual as the mental one; as 'Leaf finally possesses her body fully, Rashiqa wavers and melts a little, only to reform as the elven assassin. She shudders in revulsion as she could feel the Taint washing over her and a small, involuntary moan escapes her lips.

For some reason as Toshiro guarded the door, he could feel the build-up of magical energy eminating from the room's center where Rashiqua knelt. Keeping his mind free of images from the last time he had felt such, he forced himself to remain faced away. He also knew from the Shuken-ja's teachings of magery that a forced shapeshift was not easy on the shifter unless the ability was natural. Remebering Fallon and his abilities, he knew Leaf's power was not a natural one and bound to leave her a bit weak- strong will or not. The other thing that tugged at his mind was if the ability was god-given for her 'job' in life.... then Cael was well on his way to a large heartbreak; an even bigger one than the first one concerning this elf. For when a power is granted by a god for vengence, the price for such is never cheap or ever paid.

Cael holds onto his faint hope that the 'summoning' Rashiqa means is by signaling out the window, or heading back out the door. When she kneels on the floor and begins to meditate, however, Cael's hope evaporates. Now in a foul mood, Cael sits and fumes silently as he watches the transformation. Eho above! There must be some way I can seperate these poor souls that this monster has trapped.

When Leaf's low moan was heard, Toshiro turned around and reached for a waterskin. Moving a little closer, he held out the container to her. "Here, warrior...." he spoke softly in elvish. "it is not much to take the taste away but it something better than nothing..."

Falling Leaf looks up at Toshiro with glazed eyes. She blinks twice, purposefully, and slowly shifts her gaze to the waterskin. She starts to reach for it, very slowly. But her hand stops a few inches from it, like the priestly librarians at the Light Uncovered reaching for one of their precious books. She shakes her head and lowers her hand. "I shouldn't." her voice is low and hoarse, and she speaks in Common. "You have been kind to me."

She turns her tired, tired eyes on Cael. "What did you need to speak to me about?"

Cael stared at her, impassively. ::There will be a reckoning, one day. Those souls you trap within you will be freed, if I have any say in the matter.::

Staring at her, though, he couldn't keep his anger. He could still see too much of the one he still loved in her face. He raised his stare, focusing on the wall, and continued in common. "The books. Due to your suprise at the guardhouse, we left the books behind. They're hidden in the cart for now, but who knows when the guards will discover them. I must recover the books before they are found."

'Leaf's brow furrows. She scarcely hears the rest of what Cael says. "Souls? What are you... no. NO." Her eyes go wide and she shakes her head.

"I would not... I would not..." Fear. She is afraid. Not of Cael, not of Toshiro.

Would you not? Was it her own mocking doubt, or did that voice speak out from the shadows in her soul? The shadows that had grown large today, larger with every change...

She makes a tiny mewling sound, staring, horrified, at her own hands.

Then: "I would not! No. Not that price. Not..." she finally looks back up and realizes other people are still in the room. She takes a deep breath, tries to restore her shattered calm.

"They are not souls, Cael. They are..." she gropes for a word to convey the idea... "golems. Of the mind. Created beings. I created them, all but one. And she created me. With help from your people," she adds bitterly.

"I smiled, once. And laughed in happiness and joy. I danced and played. Then I faced the Wrath of Eho. Myself, and seven others, enjoying the comforts of the wrong oasis. We'd come to see if the fruits that grew here were as sweet as we'd heard. A frivolous reason. The seven others died. I did not." She falls silent for a moment, recalling details too personal to share at the moment. "Then I did not smile. I sought revenge on those who left us shut up in small boxes to die in the sun." Her voice is tight, angry. "And I learned dark secrets to further than revenge. You said," she looks to Toshiro, "that I moved like those who 'strike from shadow,' yes? And I told you that my people say I 'strike in shadow.' We go into the shadow, into the dark and take what powers we can. We tell ourselves we do this so that our kin can play safely in the light. They revile us. We have accepted the aid of Evil, hoping to serve Good. I don't know who's fooling whom."

"Second, who..." She can't say it. "...cares for you, Cael, is nothing more than who I was before the man who was your abbot locked a small black door behind me. She is myself, younger and innocent. Her presence reminds me of why I kill men. So that those like she never become those like me."

Toshiro thought on her words and weighed them against some of the dark acts he had ordered done in the cause of good... None were pleasant to recall but the acts necessary at the time. Oh, he understood completely what has happened to her. Not how it happened but why she went where she did. He himself had almost crossed that line... once. Daimyo Hidoshi had prevented him then and an entirely unforgettable series of events resulted from that command. It seems that day was coming to bite his posterior yet again; but now he had better understanding as to why....

"A terrible price to pay... becoming someone that only reaps hatred from those you are protecting. A grand bit of godly humour that... my own kin have those who do such and are such. None of the people speak of them openly; the public acknowledgement is they are fantasy, a tall tale to scare children.... but they are there."

"I can only imagine it was the same for you until fate forced your hand. Falling Leaf, I think I truely understand... but then my eyes have seen much and my soul experienced much... Now I know why I am here; it is to help both of you." Toshiro turned and walked over to a window and glanced outside. Turning back to the both of them, he gave a small wan smile. "Our respective gods have odd ways of showing us our fates and odd tools for accomplishing what must be done to correct the great wrong here... a priest of great faith without a faith, a warrior of powerful soul that cannot allow her true self about and an old swordsmaster that knows better to leave great acts to the young... but not old enough to not believe he still can do such... I can only trust the gods know what they are doing."

Falling Leaf stares flatly at Toshiro for a moment. She stands up, slowly, stiffly. "You know little of the price, and less still of the god if you think there is any 'godly humor' in this. It is a plan, a calculated plan, and we gamble that we can take what we need from him without allowing that plan to succeed. Hubris, I suppose."

"And..." She should be quiet. He had offered an attempt to understand, and to accept. It might be more than she would get from Cael.

But he was wrong. And he took liberties. This, this human thought he knew her mind, her 'true self.'

She shouldn't alienate her allies.

Allies? Some allies! Scarcely into Shariz when the entire charade explodes, making her go through three transformations, getting spotted, alerting the authorities, and now daring to stand here and make moral judgements on her...

Let him think he knew her 'true self.' Why correct a potentially useful misconception?

...

She was starting to find ways to head off her shadow-self's objections and arguments. When she had time, she'd let that worry her. The shadow-voice was getting harder and harder to distinguish from her own...

But there was a sentence to finish. "And... do not speak such about Cael. He and his brothers maintain their faith truly. It is the others that have abandoned it."

"Falling Leaf, " Toshiro answered, not knowing exactly how much she paid for her abilities but knowing anything was a bit too much. "I know not of what you sacrificed for who you are nor of what your god's views may be of all this. I wonder what my own ancestors would think of the many companions I have had on my many journeys... I know for a fact about half of them did not approve of my gajin wife during our time together nor of our friends rescuing the Empire from its self... Irregardless, I do not discount Cael nor his brethern; Their faith was never in doubt... jus those who control the recognised faith... What ails Ehosia I know not for certain; it is clear to me that Cael's god has chosen him and has allowed others to aid in removing the cancer that lies here. How it is done is on us and our resources... speaking of which, we must try to get some of them back. The wagon will not remain unmolested long."

Falling Leaf looks at Toshiro blankly until he mentions the wagon. That part she understands. "The wagon. With the books in it. Yes." She wanted/didn't want to go and retrieve them. She estimated that she could do the job easily enough. But there would undoubtedly be guards.

She might kill them, pre-emptively. Just to be sure. Only humans, after all.

But Dae Faroth only assassinate their targets. It was a rule. It was THE rule.

But the mission would be more secure... dead men don't talk.

But...

She turns to pace the room, pressing two fingers to her temple. She'd ask a third party to mediate. "Do you want me to retrieve the books?" she asks Toshiro and Cael.

Cael was silent up until this point, mulling over all the Falling Leaf said. Mental golems? But then that would mean that they are dead already. No. They never existed. They are but an illusion. He shook his head. But what does that make my love? Is she but an illusion, too? Or does she still exist in there, somewhere?

Falling leaf asking he and Toshiro about the books brings him back to the matter at hand. Freeing Falling Leaf is something to worry about later. When I have time. For now, more important things need doing.

"You retrieve the books? No. The books were given to my care, so they are my responsibility. But we are not long for this city, so you might want to worry about your goal in all this. Khadijah." This was a fool's errand anyways, but perhaps we can salvage something out of it. And that butcher is someone who promotes the false teachings too well. This land would do well to be rid of her.

"Very well." 'Leaf if partly relieved, glad she doesn't have to make that choice. Another part has already started insisting that Cael could get caught and reveal her present location. She should go. And the guards...

Fingers still pressed to temple, she shakes her head slightly. "I will start to investigate Khadijah. Later. I must... rest now." 'Leaf assumes a kneeling position in a corner, hands on thighs. Closing her eyes halfway, she starts going over the rules and mantras.

They were stupid, part of her protested. Limits on her efficiency. The job could be done so much better without restrictions.

Use the shadow. Do not let the shadow use you. Use the shadow... She seized on that mantra. It helped. Her mind was less noisy now.