As Nick started to get ready for his performance all he could think of was how beautiful Alicia was. She hadn’t changed a bit. She still had that sparkle in her eye and that glow in her checks. He thought that she had looked like an angel. His angel.
As he walked towards the stage with a million of girls screaming his name he felt empty. He wrote this song about her and she never even noticed. It was his favorite yet least favorite song off his album. It was the only thing he had left of her.
Don't want to close the door
Don't want to give up on it
Don't want to fight no more
We'll find a way around it
Where's the love we had?
We can make it last
*FLASHBACK*
“Alicia I told you it was going to be hard being away from each other all the time. I love you though. You gotta trust me while I’m gone.” Nick said.
“I do trust you Nick, it’s just that it’s hard. I want to be around you. I want you to just hold me and tell me everything is going to be fine. I miss you. Is that so wrong?” Alicia said upset. She truly did miss her boyfriend. It wasn’t easy having a Backstreet Boy for a boyfriend. Nick was always gone and never home. She never got to see him. She new that going into the relationship but she never thought it was going to be so hard. On her. On the both of them.
“Listen Alicia. I get home tomorrow we’ll talk about everything. We’ll figure a way out on how we can make our relationship work. I love you and I’m not going to give up on this relationship.” Nick said not knowing if the relationship would last long. He missed her terribly and wanted to be with her. But he had a commitment with the Boys and he just couldn’t give them up. It was one or the other.
*END FLASHBACK*
Nick remembered that, that was their first fight when they started to date. It was really hard for the both of them at the beginning. Both Nick and Alicia wanting to be with each other, but not being able to, because Nick was always on tour with the Boys.
Tell me what I gotta be
Tell me what you wanna do?
Cause I can't live my life
The way you want me
You know we can't go on, living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?
Do I have to cry for you?
*FLASHBACK*
Nick was at Alicia’s house watching TV. It was just the two of them. It was the perfect time for Alicia and Nick to figure out what to do about their problem.
“Hey Alicia” Nick said trying to gently move Alicia off his lap. She sat up and looked at him.
“What’s wrong” Alicia asked knowing what he was going to say.
“I think we should talk about what we were talking about on the phone last night. You know about me always being away. And how the both of us obviously want to be closer together.” Nick simply stated.
“Well where do you want to start Nick. I’ll tell you what I want. I just simply want to be with you. I don’t care what I have to do. I’ll do anything to be with you and you know it. I’d give up my world if I had to Nick.” Alicia told Nick looking him seriously in the eyes.
“Come on tour with me then” Nick just blurted out.
“You said you’d do anything to be with me. If you actually mean that then you’d come on tour with me. Please say you will.”
“Ah ok Nick. I’ll come on tour with you. But there’s just one thing.” Alicia said.
“What if there is any problem we can fix it.” Nick pleated wanting her on tour with him. If she came on tour with him and the Boys he’d always have someone around. Someone to keep him sane. Someone other than the Boys. Sure he loved being with them but sometimes he just needed to get away from them while on tour and when he was by himself he’d be lonely. With Alicia he could be away from the boys and not be lonely, he’d be completely happy.
“What would I pack?” Alicia said with a laugh and Nick tackling her to tickle her.
*END FLASHBACK*
So tell me what it's for
If there's no winner in it
Nobody's keeping score
Let's start from the beginning
Can we make it last?
With the love we have
Tell me what I gotta be?
Tell me what you wanna do?
Cause I can't live my life the way you want me to
You know I can't go on, living like we do?
Do I have to cry for you?
Do I have to cry for you?
*FLASHBACK*
“Alicia I’m sorry. I know I promised I wouldn’t but it was there the guys ordered it without knowing. How many times do I have to say I’m sorry?” Nick pleaded.
“Nick they bought you one drink. JUST ONE. You can’t get drunk off one freaking bottle of beer!” Alicia screamed. She hated it when Nick drank because he got rude and mean.
“I said I was sorry. I won’t drink again I promise. Please Alicia don’t leave me because of this one mistake. I love you.” Nick pleaded. He hated seeing her mad at him.
“I don’t know Nick. I’ll give you one more chance but if you screw up, I’m out of here.” Alicia said then turned around and finished packing her bag for the next stop.
*END FLASHBACK*
Do I gotta stand in the cold dark night till the morning light, yeah
Do I have to say 'I won't let you ! get away'
What do I gotta be?
Tell me what wanna do?
I can't live my life, the way you want me to
You know I can't go on, living like we do?
Do I have to cry for you?
Yeahh, yeeaaahhhh
You know I can't go on, living like we do
Do I have to cry for you?
Do I have to cry for you?
Nick missed Alicia so much. Most of the times he thought of her he wondered if he didn’t let her go if they’d still be together and in love. He wrote this song for her, hoping she’d hear it and know. Hoping she’d come running back into his arms making everything all right again.
