O-S
Pirates of the Carribbean - Absolutely positivelutely the best ride ever, a water ride telling the story of pirate dudes plundering a fort, featuring The Skeletons Which Drink Beer and Is That a Real Man?. Featuring two drops, cannon balls, pigs, hidden mickeys, incredibly realisitc anamatronics, rats eyes and brilliant music.
Phantom Manor - The most baffling ride in the world. According to Disney, it's "a superbly evocative journey through the past, telling a story of greed, dishonesty and unrequited love". In our opinion, it's a bafflingly poor ghost house featuring a bride (?!) whom just keeps popping up, inane crow noises, lots of meaningless French babble, and a skeleton playing the bongos. Er.
Queue Lottery - As each Disney attraction has approximately 10 different queue lines leading to it, each of different length and occupied by different nationalities of foreigners, choosing the shortest way to the attraction was a real Queue Lottery.
Rock - Here's a quick logic test to see if you think the same way as Emma, Sazzle and George. You want to watch the evening firework display. Do you (a) illegally climb onto a tall, slippery, badly lit Discoveryland rock, hanging precariously over an extrememly cold pool of water OR (b) stand on a bench?
Shower - Edd would swear on Mickey's life that the shower in his bathroom in Hotel Santa Fe played music whenever turned on. Did it or did it not sing 'A Spoonful of Sugar' or 'A Pirates Life for Me' to him - or was he simply going delirious under the influence of too much Disney music?
Santa Fe - Officially the craziest and hottest hotel in the world. Themed like a Mexican town, featuring garish flashing lights, Clint Eastwood and a fish fountain which Sazzle almost pushed Edd into. Plus a closed play area. Our room was in the block closest to the river, near the junk autos, with the glowing asteroid which didn't glow on the hotel block roof.
Swearing - Being as Disney was a world of nicey nice nice, everyone did their best not to say anything rudish or sweary. But of course Foul Mouthed Sazzle more than made up for everyone else's lack of swears by tripping off Orbitron and screaming an obscenity loud enough the pervert every child in Discoveryland for life.
Swans - The fabled swans boats on Disney Village's Lake Disney - �2 each for 20 mins. As it happened, the party was still peddling frantically around the lake after 40mins, despite Sazzle trying to pour the contents of Lake Disney into the swan boat and down Simon's back. Wheras George loved the experience, Edd loathed it; and was only allowed back onto dry land - after a good deal of moaning - when at the point of vomiting.
Sixty Nine - the number on Edd and Simon's innuendo stuffed Orbitron rocket which, hilariously, they couldn't get out of at the end of the ride, perhaps without the use of a can opener or maybe lubricant. MAY THE LORD HAVE MERCY ON THEIR SAILS.
Skeletons and leprechauns - George and Edd came to the conclusion that every ride in Disneyland must fufill it's allotted quota of skeletons. There are skeletons absolutely everywhere - from skeletons drinking beer in Pirates of the Carribean to skeletons in shackles in Snow White's ride (?!). It was suggested that the skeletons originate from the Tinkerbell mercilessly murdered each firework display. Plus, if a ride can't meet it's allotted quota of skeletons, it must contain a number of leprechauns to compensate.
Strawberry Yogurt - On the Good Morning Fantasyland Breakfast, Edd had the genius idea of trying to smuggle out a tub of strawberry yogurt to eat later in the day. It consequently burst on the Dumbos and Edd discovered the leaking strawberry mess on Les Pays contre Les Fees; covering his camera, bag, and pocket. When trying to wash his bag out in the Plaza Gardens Fountain Edd was subsequently told off by all other members of the party; depsite them having dunked their smelly feet in the very same fountain just the day before.
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