AIT Day 32
October 28th, 2002
The Haircut Experience
I was just trying to save a little money. I ended with a dead beaver on my head. Don't let your battle buddies cut your hair with beard trimmers.
First I had to set up camp and secure the perimeter. I put a couple of trash bags on the bathroom floor to catch the evidence, since barracks cuts are illegal. Then I locked the door.
My roommate started with my beard trimmer. After five minutes, it died. I tried to recharge it, but the metal contacts were missing. That probably had something to do with me dropping it a few days prior. I sent someone to get me trimmers from someone else. That action breached my perimeter of security (the locked door). Three people walked in to see my illegal actions. Within a few minutes, someone hooked me up with his trimmers. Since he was the owner, he wanted to finish cutting my hair. After a few people said, "Damn, dude, that looks fucked up," a new person took over. He did a little better, but there were spots to clean up. A new person took over. This guy is my friend so I trusted him to fix me up before the DS did bed check in 10 mins. He did good, except for the freakin' gaping hole in the right side of my hair.
The DS did his bed check and didn't notice. I made sure to scratch my right side at the precise moment. This morning, no one noticed. I was wearing a hat anyway. I had to skip lunch and get laughed at at the barber shop to fix the road kill on my head.
From now on, I'm spending the damn seven bucks every two weeks. As for today, I made a barber's day just a little brighter. And I fired my four barbers from last night. They are currently circling the want ads for jobs as lawnmowers.
Extra duty's going to extra suck tonight. The duty DS is a dick. He probably will not release us until everyone's been asleep for an hour. To make matters worse, I have CQ tonight for two hours from 0230 to 0430. I'll be lucky to get more than three hours of decent sleep. I'm shining my boots during my shift...Or maybe not. I'm in enough trouble already. Article 15s are a bitch.