21 November 2004 [10:20pm]

Sounds: Cursive

For a moment today, I appreciated classical music. It's amazing how hands meets keys can create this brillant sound of story. The gentle touch, the pounding fingers. Classical music reminds me of bitter old men trying to make sense of something they can't (like say, Beethoven.) The result are these eloquent sounds. It's almost as if, I can feel the rage, the emotion, the love, the beauty of frustration pouring from the finger tips, pure in form, onto the white ivory keys. For that moment, a wonderful epiphany came over me.

Within seconds, life can change so drastically. Even when you think you've been watching it fade away & you think you're ready for the worst to come, but it hits & you're really not. So Dear Friend, There's not much to say besides the worst is over now. It's all up hill from here. Pushing forward can seem so much more difficult than just letting it roll down. But you've got so many people who care for you & will be there behind you to catch you when you've fallen back. A piece apart, but you're still here. Here's to you & your future & all that you know now.

I don't want to grow up cause I'm a toys r us kid. fuck, I'll join my age.

I want to feel so smitten inside that it over flows. But I'm indecisive & somewhat callous to these things... tough luck.

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karenina || save scrotie � 2004