In response to my -ahem- 'thoughts' from yesterday, my friend Brad and I are thinking about starting a Bible study --not a new church or anything-- for our group of friends here in Hannibal. Brad said that he'd been thinking about it for a while. He would just like to get in to the Word with some friends--nothing formal. I guess he caught some flak because all of the preacher-types here at the college told him that it wouldn't work without some kind of leadership to make sure that the group wouldn't get "off-task" or something. He got pretty mad. Can't a group of believers just get together and talk about God without formal leadership around? What was all that stuff that the Southern Baptists say about priesthood of the believer?

Anyway, the focus of this Bible study, or maybe "group" is a better word, is fellowship Fellowship. This doesn't mean a carry-in potluck dinner, but rather a formed community of believers sharing burdens and the love of Christ with one another. And the way that this is going to be approached is not through a series of lessons on Fellowship, but rather, spending time with one another, talking, sharing, eating, whatever.

Please pray for us as we try to follow God's will in this. It's not really even in the planning stage yet. It's in the "pray-about-it" stage.

Oh yea. I want to make it clear for those of you who are scared that I'm going to start a cult or something that we are only meeting as a group of friends to encourage one another--we're not going to stop going to a church on Sunday or withdraw our membership or whatever.

This article about MicroChurches from The Ooze.com is very appealing to me right now. I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired of the rigid organization that our institutional churches have become, or if I'm just kinda going through that twentysomething-revolutionary phase in life.

I want something different.

I've seen enough of Missouri's Southern Baptist churches to know that I'm tired of their over-emphasis on evangelsim that neglects teachings on personal holiness and simple ministry without alterior evangelistic motives. Although our lips speak otherwise, we measure spiritual growth in numbers, which I disagree with. Plus I don't like the Southern Baptist mindset or culture or whatever you call it that is so sure of itself. Frankly, we've put God and the salvation He offers in a box -and a very small one at that- with our "Four Spiritual Laws" and other "methods" (which are really formulas) for evangelsim.

Needless to say, that when I graduate from college and move across the state in May, my wife and I will be looking for a new denomination.

Ok. Enough of the whine-fest. Here's what I'm getting at: Are smaller churches or house churches the answer? Of course, just reducing numbers isn't going to make much of a difference, but what if the focus is really on fellowship and relationships in the Body, instead of zoning out for 30 minutes while a preacher yaks on Sunday morning?

I'm pretty frustrated right now...I have a million thoughts going through my head, and I can't sort them all out onto this page.

Hmmm. Took me a while to find some spare time out from school work (yea, like I really work) to get some bloggin' in.

If you haven't heard yet, my wife and are are going to be having a baby on Valentine's Day, and even though there are still 2 1/2 months left, things are kinda getting down to the wire. We have a crib, playpen, stroller/carseat contraption, baby clothes, some bottles, we've been attending childbirth and breastfeeding (gulp!) classes together, and my wife is starting to swell. It's so fascinating to see our little girl's personality already, even though we won't even see her for a couple of months. She apparently likes potatoes, chocolate, the church organ, warm hands, and my voice (YEA!). She doesn't like it, however, when you poke around trying to feel where she's at, nor that contraption that the OB doctor uses to measure the womb.

All of this is to say that she's not even 'here' yet, and she's stolen my heart. I think about her and my wife constantly. I carry 2 different copies of her ultrasounds in my wallet that I show to everyone. I love her so much, but I suppose that I really have no specific cause for this love. She's done nothing for me; she doesn't wash dishes, give me hugs, or have a job--she's not even mean to me! Nonetheless, I love her more that I ever imagined I could.

All of this helps me to understand God's love for me. He loved me before I loved Him. He loved me before I could love Him. He loves me when I fall. He loves me when I turn my back on Him. He loves me when I'm too busy for Him. He loves me when He discipines me. There is nothing I could do to deserve a love like that.

I know that Molly Kate will never be able to make me ashamed of her. She may do some pretty stupid things, but my love for her will never dwindle in the least.

Now I can see how the father felt in the story of the Prodigal Son. He didn't care about how stupid, wasteful, and arrogant his son had been, he just wanted him home where he belonged.

I think that if we could fully understand God's love for us as a parent/child relationship our lives would be radically changed. We'd no longer wallow in self-pity after our sins; we'd stop moping around thinking about how dissapointed God must be. We just need to throw down all of the hindrances and distractions that we hold to so tightly and run back to Him. That's what He wants.

rest in me little david,
and dry all your tears
you can lay down your armor
and have no fears
'cause I'm always here when your tired of running
I have all the strength that you need.
rest in me.