Easter's tomorrow. And I'm just not looking forward to it. If Christmas was an emotional disappointment, how can Easter be any better?

I remember I almost cried when I found out the Easter Bunny wasn't real. That never happened with Santa. I guess because the Easter Bunny just seemed more fun to believe in.

Obviously, my mom is the bunny. But now I have a whole different outlook on her. And it's driving me crazy. I know, a ton of your parents smoke, but she always had this 'perfect mom' persona, and suddenly things change.

I feel like I'm overreacting, and I'm sure I am, because it's not a constant habit, just when she's stressed... I am, nevertheless, feeling very uncomfortable around her. She doesn't know that I know.

I meant to confront her last night, but she worked really late, and I just couldn't stay up. This morning, we were painting the basement, and I just had an 'inkling', if you will, that something bad would happen if I brought it up.

So I'm now forced to write about. I'm making it worse by not saying anything, and constantly thinking about it, because I'm giving myself the idea that she's completely fucked up. If I say something to her, then we'll both be uncomfortable around eachother, and I'm sure she'll constantly check up on me in fear that she's influencing me. If I don't say anything I'm holding her secret in my head, and I don't know who else knows, except my brother.

Speaking of my brother, he's not coming home for Easter, which just makes things worse. There's no way I'm going to be able to handle Sunday without getting to a low depression level. I miss you Pat. :(

So... Happy Easter, I guess... hope things are better for you.

- Molly{12:10 pm}

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