| The Critical Eye Edition #3 'Tis the Season to get singed. Well Christmas is coming, so we're being inundated with thousands (ok, more like a score) of ads with skinny men dressed in Crazy Clark's Santa costumes bellowing at us like escaped mental patients to take advantage of their Christmas bargains. I know you're expecting it, so therefore I won't say it. Oh ok: puh-leeze. Sorry, it's a reflex action. Anyway, seeing as you can probably discern for yourselves that these ads are stupid (and if you can't, keep it to yourselves. I'd like to maintain the notion that I have intelligent friends) I thought I'd review a Christmas ad that stemmed away from popular tradition. The ad with the privilege of being under the spotlight this week (does my head look bigger to you?) is Barbeques Galore. In this ad we're introduced to a happy family all giggling and having fun on Christmas day in their backyard (they obviously don't drink in that family). There's Mum, the two little girls and Dad ... who is walking around the backyard with a blindfold on, stumbling over nearly every toy in sight (I guess they don't need alcohol with that kind of sadistic entertainment ... either that or Dad's had a bit too many already). But no, it's not sadistic entertainment; they're simply playing a game of 'hot and cold' (I bet they have potato sack races too). So there's Dad, stumbling around the backyard in search of his Christmas present while Mum and the girls shout out, "Warmer! Warmer!". Now, this should be totally metaphoric, except for the fact that Dad is now reaching out towards his brand new barbeque, which is turned on and sending out blurry big waves of heat (maybe I was wrong about it not being sadistic entertainment). Alas, once again I've come across an ad where what I consider to be strange behaviour is considered normal. As we hear Dad's skin sizzle in the background, Mum and the girls shout out "Surprise!". Well yeah, I guess you could say first-degree burns would come as a surprise. Maybe it's a new trend -- This Christmas, give your loved one the gift that lasts a lifetime; their very own scars!!! Personally, I'll be having the guys from the bomb squad over this Christmas to check all of my presents before I open them -- that big square has been making noises reminiscent of a baby grizzly bear. Either that or they've brought out a new version of the Furby. So, after your family has just caused you to be purposely burnt by your brand new barbeque, you'd think that it would be time to call the police (or run for your life) but no, Dad waves his now singed hands, gives a hearty chuckle and says, "Well, I'm glad you didn't get me the chainsaw". Well I would be too, because I'd probably be in a million pieces buried in the basement by now. But personally, I think I would have preferred the chainsaw ... so that I could kill my psychotic family before they had a chance to off me or play another sadistic trick on me. This bizarre kind of advertising scares me. Sure, it's just an ad -- and war is just a big pillow fight. Do advertising companies purposely put psychopaths in their ads these days? Or just hire them to write the ads? One thing's for sure: I'll never play 'hot and cold' with anyone ever again -- I'd like to be able to teach my children to count to a number above two without the use of my toes. Sarah Taylor, Professional smart-ass. |