Jack tossed the beer cap in the general direction of the overflowing trashcan and sank back into the armchair. Taking a deep pull from the bottle, he watched the rain beating against the sliding patio doors. The rumbling of thunder echoing the emotional storm raging inside him. The television was on, an old movie playing on the late late show, he didn't know which one and in truth he didn't care. He'd only turned it on to drown out the silence. It had been days since he'd last visited Daniel. Maybe he'd go in the morning. 'No you won't O'Neill because that would mean facing the pain you caused you chickenshit.'

Finishing the beer, he reached for another. Getting drunk kept the nightmares at bay long enough to let him sleep at least a couple of hours a night but he could never seem to get drunk enough to forget?

Days...it seemed like weeks...earlier, ignoring Janet's wishes and Carter and Teal'c's encouragment, Jack had left Daniel's bedside only long enough to report to General Hammond on his role in the mission to PJX533. Each time he closed his haunted eyes, another flash of memory raced through his mind and each time he opened them, the evidence of his iniquity lay wrapped in bandages, his face deathly white beneath the technicolor bruises. Although Daniel had awakened several times it had been close to a week before he showed any true signs of comprehension or recovery.

Each time Daniel awoke he seemed genuinely happy to find Jack at his side, however O'Neill couldn't help noticing the instant of fear upon first seeing the colonel hovering over him. It was Jack, the man he trusted above all others, who had put him in that hospital bed. Seeing that moment of terror was hard enough but when Daniel had flinched as Jack reached for the call button, it was more than O'Neill could bare. He'd run!

Requesting a leave of absence Jack had left the SGC and hadn't been back. Now as he sat home alone downing his beers, he realized, no matter how far he ran, or how many beers he drank, he could never outrun or drown the fact that he had betrayed the trust Daniel placed in him.

Daniel waited until the sound of footsteps faded completely before opening his eyes, quickly checking to be sure no one was around. Two a.m. He was the infirmary's only patient and now that his vitals had been checked unless he called, the few nurses pulling night duty would leave him alone until the morning shift change.

Knowing how he hated taking medication of any kind and convinced that the painkillers being pumped into his veins was enough to allow Daniel a peaceful sleep, Janet had agreed to cancel the sleeping pills. He knew she wasn't going to be a happy camper come morning and he did feel sorry for the unfortunate nurses who would have to face her wrath but this was something he had to do. Something only he could do.