After four years with the SGC Daniel wasn't ashamed to admit he still didn't understand most things about the military mind set but he did know it took special people to make the armed forces their career, and to his credit he did understand Colonel Jonathon (Jack) O'Neill.

An honorable man with a deep seeded sense of responsibility, who truly cared about the people in his command, Jack was born to be a leader. O'Neill would be the first to admit there were times when he didn't understand a third of what he considered Daniel's or Carter's scientific babble but Daniel knew that with a more logical mind than most, Jack was far more intelligent then he often gave himself credit for.

Daniel had often wished he had Jack's natural instincts where people were concerned. He could read most people, interpeting their thoughts or intentions, as easily as Daniel read Egyptian hieroglphics.

The military had given purpose to Jack's life as well as fulfilling his need to belong. Professional protocol and the knowledge of inevitable loss be it war or simply through transfers demanded that friendships remain more on the level of close acquaintances than the tight bonds that tie together family and confidantes. Yet those strong ties now bound together the members of SG-1.

Jack had suppressed his emotions, hiding behind a hard ass, sarcastic, ruthless facade, trusting the people in his units with his life but not his heart. He knew if you opened up to other people you were vulnerable. Then he'd met Sarah.

It had only taken one look in Sarah's eyes and Jack was lost, his defenses gone...most of them anyway. Special Forces training and old habits die hard. Sarah accepted the military side of Jack, knowing there were experiences he wouldn't share with her. Dark memories he locked away the minute he stepped through the door. There were nights after missions when he awoke in a cold sweat and she'd simply hold him, never questioning, just offering comfort and reassurance.

Sarah brought out the lighthearted side of him, the fun loving kid who couldn't resist a good...or even bad practical joke. For the first time in longer than he cared to think about Jack O'Neill had truly been happy. Charlie completed that happiness. He should have known it was too good to last.

Then on a warm summer afternoon, it's stillness shattered by a fatal gunshot, O'Neill's world had collapsed. Drowning in self recrimination, desperate to shut out the pain, grief and guilt he had rebuilt the walls stronger than ever before, effectively pushing away the woman he loved.

She hadn't understood that he couldn't bring himself to look in her eyes and see hatred where love had once been. To see the condemnation he was sure to find written all over her beautiful face. Destroyed by a reckless act, he failed to see that he needed Sarah as much, maybe more than she needed him, and in the end Jack had lost her too.

Emotionally Jack turned to stone, no longer caring about anything or anyone. The more dangerous a mission, the faster he had volunteered subconsciously searching for peace in death. In truth, he was probably alive to accept the Abydos mission only because he hadn't been selfish enough to jeopardize his men to satisfy his own desires. Something perhaps Daniel had recognized and was slightly ashamed to admit....had used.