Noodles

Greetings, and welcome to the second day of my posting here. It's shaping up to be an excellent morning, the crowd is anticipating today's posts with more than their usual enthusiasm. They regret that they could not be in the forum for this momentous event, but send their highest regards, etcetera. Well, they didn't, but who are you to tell? They're not here to prove me wrong, are they?

*Ahem*

Here is today's post:

*doorknobs fall from the ceiling*
SASSA: Hey! Those are meant to be balloons!
STAGE MANAGER: Yeah... sorry about that... no balloons left... plenty of doorknobs though...
SASSA: *grumbles threateningly* You could have killed someone with those!
STAGE MANAGER: Err... yeah... *hurriedly hides the body of a member of the backstage crew*
SASSA: Now. Get back into the wings! This is my space!
STAGE MANAGER: *shuffles offstage* (to the sound of violins)
SASSA: Violins?
*the sound manager shrugs from his booth*
*lights dim momentarily, as the lighting manager adds his own little touch to the proceedings*
*slowly, the stage is re-lit... in odd hues of green*

SASSA: Greetings! And welcome to CBF: Crow's Backyard Forum!
* grapefruit falls from the ceiling*
SASSA:So, what's everyone's opinions on... *draws a random card from a box, reads it*
SASSA: *facefaults* Who wrote these? Ah... I see... AJ... in that case, on to the next section of our show: NAME THAT POKEMON!
*Pneumatic drills fall from the ceiling*
Today's contestant is: Sirrus, from the PC game Myst!

SIRRUS: Good day. I trust I shall not leave this competition empty handed? I'd be ever so cross if I wasn't able to take a little something home... just what is it I'm playing for again?
SASSA: Well, Sirrus, you're one lucky little megalomaniac! Today's prize is the DIY World Domination kit, courtesy of McDabble's restaurants! *McDabble's logo appears suspended in the forum temporarily, along with a catchy slogan: 'Try our famous 'food'! It's edible!'*
SIRRUS: Only one world? Could I possibly dominate three?
SASSA: *taps nose* all in good time, all in good time... now, for the question...
*flamingos fall from the ceiling*
SASSA: I really wish that gag would hurry up and DIE... *pulls feathers from hair* The question. Which pokemon, out of the following four, would make a nice hatstand? Hitmonchan, dodrio, horsea, or gengar?
SIRRUS: Poke-what?
SASSA: I'm sorry, the correct answer is dodrio. You lose!
SIRRUS: Oh bother. So, what's the consolation prize?
SASSA: Here *hands Sirrus a book*
SIRRUS: Oh, what a pretty picture... no, no, aaaarghhhhhh! *sucked into book*
STAGE MANAGER: (sarcastically) Now wasn't _that_ a surprise...

SASSA: Eh... hmmm... okay, now-
*Crow falls from the ceiling*
SASSA: Crow! Are you okay???
CROW: Why is the floor covered in flamingo feathers?
SASSA: Ah... the feathers... well... funny you should say that...
CROW:... and... pneumatic drills?
SASSA: Ah....yes... well...
CROW: not to mention... grapefruit...
SASSA: it's... grapefruit season... ?

*Sassa is saved by a sudden fall of noodles from the ceiling*
SASSA: Phew!
CROW: Noooooooooodles....!

And everyone lived happily ever after.