Krycek smiled, shaking his head and trying to ignore the tears forcing their way into his eyes. 'That's a nice thought and all, Dana. But I think it's impossible at this point.'
'You know I�m telling the truth.' She said softly. �You know what I�m talking about.�
'I know what you said was deluded.' He replied.
Scully stared back a moment, hurt. 'That's not true.'
Krycek quit packing and looked at her. 'You're telling me what's true?' He asked. 'I can feel almost everything you say.'
'Then you should already know.'
�No.� He gave a small smile. 'To quote REO Speedwagon, �I don't believe it. Not for a minute�.'
'We need to talk this through.'
Krycek held up his hands. 'What is there to talk through?'
She couldn't look back at him; the three of them stood in silence.
'Away' by The Bolshoi started to play over KROQ's flashback weekend.
'�We're in love, let's be together�Happy times or heavy weather...Mother say's "today's a special day, so let's not fight okay"�'
Mulder once again wished to escape the heavy emotions in the room. They obviously didn�t feel like sharing and he was getting irritated. 'If no one is going to include me in this, I'll be upstairs.'
Krycek and Scully completely ignored him, lost in their battle of who is the most stubborn. Mulder couldn�t leave the room without uprooting Scully because she was still standing in the doorway.
'Think about it, Dana.' Krycek said, saying the next sentence slow. 'Think about what you're saying.'
'Why don't you let me worry about what I'm saying?' She asked, angry all over again. 'I can make my own decisions, thank you. I know what all this means to my relationship with Mulder.'
�What?� Mulder asked, finally willing to get involved.
Krycek ignored him. 'I don't want you to regret this later. And we both know you will.'
'Alex, again I say it: Let me worry about that part.' Scully shook her head. 'I'm not a child.'
'Scully, what are you talking about?' Mulder asked. �What�s going on?�
'Mulder.' Scully said softly. She didn�t break her staring contest with Krycek. 'I think I need to speak to Alex alone.'
For a moment, Mulder wasn�t sure that he had heard her correctly. The implication of those words was way more than he was prepared to handle. Those words spoke volumes to Mulder. There was a part of her life that he wasn�t included in anymore. Something in her relationship with Krycek was important enough to send him out of the room.
Mulder had the uneasy feeling that she was slipping away. He had the feeling that it was too late.
Damn you, Krycek. Mulder thought. You were right.
'Maybe you should wait, Agent Mulder.' Krycek interrupted his thoughts as the song played on:
'�Innocence and lies don't make a perfect match�Leave your door unlatched�I know, what can be untrue�'
'I'll be gone soon.' Krycek said again, eyeing Scully.
'You would do this to me?' She asked angrily. 'After all we've been through?'
'I'm saving your relationship with the most important person in your life.' Krycek said, smiling bitterly. 'With a lot of sacrifice on my part. I wish you'd let me leave with as little pain as possible.'
'If anyone�s going to leave,' Scully�s face was harsh, �it will be me.�
Krycek threw more clothes into the suitcase with disgust. �Where would you go? Back to DC?�
�That�s a good idea.� She snapped. �I have been a little homesick.�
Krycek looked at her and uncharacteristically raised his voice. �Don�t be stupid!�
�I MUST be stupid!� Scully raised her voice to match. �Look at the mess I�m in!�
�What?� Krycek asked in disbelief, narrowing his eyes at her. �The mess you�re IN?�
�Nothing wrong with your hearing.� She replied, her eyes on fire.
Krycek straightened up, putting his hands on his hips. He spoke softly. �I seem to remember getting you OUT of the mess you were in.�
�You got me out alright!� Scully held out her arms, gesturing around her. �Out here, across the country, away from everyone who cares about me. I�m all alone-�
Krycek�s face grew still. �You don�t think I care?�
�You don�t know what caring is!� She shouted. �You have no emotions, you never know what you�re feeling! You�re not even human!�
Scully snapped her mouth shut. She couldn�t believe she�d just said that.
Krycek stared back at her, speechless. Stunned. His eyes were wounded. His face was full of hurt.
The silence in the room was thick. Mulder himself was shocked at Scully�s words. He put his hands over his face, wishing he could start this trip all over again and choose a different storyline.
Scully was ashamed with herself. She managed to return the devastated gaze Krycek was staring at her with, but couldn�t form any words. He had hurt her by wanting to leave, so she had hurt him back.
Krycek closed his mouth, swallowed, and looked down at the heap of clothes in his suitcase. �I�ll be gone soon.� He said softly.
Scully put a hand over her mouth, then took it away. She shook her head and whispered. �Alex-�
�Leave me alone.� He said in the same low voice, not looking at her.
�Alex-�
�Leave me alone.� He avoided her eyes and cleared his throat. �Just leave me alone.�
Scully bit her bottom lip as tears came to her eyes. Mulder put a hand on her arm.
'�Oh yeah, she had a baby�It was painful�It was worth it...And all the time�They stuck the knife in�Pulled it up and twisted it around...Away�'
Scully suddenly clutched her stomach and double over in pain.
Before Mulder could even process the thought of reaching out to Scully, Krycek was over his bed and by her side.
'Dana?' He asked, concern awash on his face.
Her eyes met his. They were terrified. 'Something's wrong.'
'Call 911.' Krycek said, attempting to put his arms around her. Mulder didn't move and Krycek turned to look at him, raising his voice. 'Call 911!'
Mulder ran out into the hall, looking up at Langly and Frohike, who had appeared at the top of the stairs. 'Call 911! Call an ambulance!'
The two stared at him for a moment, then ran into each other, trying to get to the phone. Mulder turned and ran back down the hall to see Krycek supporting Scully, walking down the hall.
'Something's wrong.' She said again, her face twisted in agony.
Krycek picked her up and carried her up the stairs.
Maggie was suddenly at their side. 'What's wrong, Alex?'
Krycek didn't answer, he couldn't. He carried her into the living room and laid her down on the couch. Byers was instantly at his side. 'Anything I can do?'
Krycek turned to look at him; his eyes wide and glossed over. 'Did someone call an ambulance?'
'I called 911.' Langly said, stepping over to them.
Krycek put a hand on Scully's forehead. 'It's going to be okay, Dana. I promise.'
Mulder watched as his eyes darted around the room. He got the feeling that Krycek was trying to figure out what was wrong with Scully. He vaguely wondered why he couldn�t just heal her, like he had healed Koskie. He watched Krycek slip farther and farther away. He watched Krycek put his other hand over his mouth, his face ashen. He wouldn't be any good if he simply passed out. He would be no help to Scully if he suddenly fainted away. Scully needed him, needed them both.
Mulder reached a hand out towards Krycek. 'Calm down. Relax.'
Krycek stared back at Mulder, his face growing paler and paler by the second.
Mulder suddenly slapped him hard across the face. 'Snap out of it, Krycek.'
How odd, Mulder thought as he heard the approaching sirens. I�m usually the one that flips out when something's wrong with Scully. Go figure I should be the one holding them all together today.
Langly opened he front door as the paramedics came charging through. They knocked Krycek and Mulder out of the way and began to assess Scully. The two of them huddled next to Maggie, who was fairly calm, considering the circumstance. It was Krycek who looked as if he was going to lose it.
The paramedics transferred Scully onto a gurney and began to wheel her out of the house. Krycek suddenly woke up out of his stupor. 'What's going on?'
'Are you her husband?'
�I�m the father.� Krycek stammered. 'I'm going with her.'
'You're her boyfriend?'
'Yes.' He said, climbing into the back of the ambulance.
Mulder opened his mouth to object. Really, shouldn�t he be the one riding with Scully in the ambulance? Shouldn�t he be the boyfriend? Shouldn�t he be the father of the baby? Mulder bit back any argument that had bubbled up. This was certainly not the time to start squabbling again. Not with Scully�s family and the Lone Gunmen standing around while his partner was on her way to the hospital.
But damn, he really hated Krycek.
Mulder ran up to driver of the ambulance, feeling very strong deja vu. 'Where are you taking her?'
'Hoag Medical Center.' He replied, closing the door.
Mulder watched as the ambulance drove off, not noticing everyone piling into the rented Suburban until Byers started it up.
***
Mulder leaned against the wall across from the chair Krycek was sitting in. He just stared at his old enemy, wondering what had really happened the night before. Krycek sat there, still in his wetsuit, hands over his mouth, and eyes closed. Mulder knew that he was probably feeling everything that Scully was.
Krycek had thrown quite a fit when they wouldn't let him go into the OR with her.
'What do you mean?' He had asked, his eyes glowing. 'I'm going in there!'
'We're sorry, Sir.' A nurse had said, pushing him back. 'We don't allow anyone in the OR during surgical procedures.'
'That's my child.' Krycek had said, Mulder and Langly each putting a hand on one of his arms. 'I have to be in there.'
Great, Mulder thought. Now he's going to cause all the lightbulbs in here to burst, all the electrical equipment will go haywire. Oh yes, it's going to be a pleasant evening.
After entrusting Krycek to Maggie's watchful eye, Mulder had gone to call Skinner.
'I'll be on the next flight out.' His superior had said.
It was hours later and there was no word yet. Krycek looked like he was about to lie down and die. Mulder was beginning to get a little squirrelly himself. He couldn't do anything but stare at Krycek and wish that he could absorb whatever it was that he was feeling.
Krycek's eyes suddenly opened and he stared straight ahead. He started to breathe quicker; his eyes darted around the room.
Mulder pushed himself towards him, off his post on the wall.
Krycek suddenly jerked his head back, causing everyone in the room to stare at him.
'Alex?' Maggie asked, putting an arm around him.
'Oh my god.' Krycek said when he finally slouched forward. 'Get me in there.'
'Alex, honey, what's wrong?' Maggie asked again.
Mulder couldn't move. He had a horrible idea of what was going on.
Krycek stood up. 'I need to get in there.' He suddenly jerked his head back again, nearly stumbling to the ground.
Mulder grabbed his arm and when Krycek fell forward he caught him. Krycek's eyes bore into him. Mulder had never seen someone so terrified in his life.
Bill and Maggie had risen off their chairs, but didn't come any closer.
'Get me in there, Fox.' Krycek's eyes started to leak tears. 'Get me in there. I can stop it.'
Mulder suddenly knew, without a doubt, what was happening. Scully was losing her battle and Krycek was asking to get in there to save her. He must be feeling the defibrillators. He grabbed Krycek's arm and began leading him towards the door that Scully had disappeared into. Krycek jerked again.
'Help me!' Mulder yelled at the Lone Gunmen. Langly stepped forward and helped Mulder guide Krycek towards the door.
A nurse tried to intercept them on the way in. Krycek stared at her and she was pushed backwards, out of the way. Krycek began to cry. 'Get me in there, oh my god, please get me in there.'
They burst through the double doors. Mulder was fighting the rising panic in his chest, his throat, his ears. He and Langly were dragging Krycek down the halls looking into the rooms on their way by.
There was a scream from up the hall. Krycek suddenly quit moving and put his hands on the sides of his face. His nose began to pour blood and his face scrunched up with pain. He lowered his head as a small hissing sound escaped through his grinding teeth.
Mulder and Langly had stopped and were staring at him, in awe over the sight of the man.
�Oh no�� Krycek whispered. His eyes briefly met Mulder�s as he sagged forward and passed out.
Mulder stared in disbelief as his limp body fell to the floor; a team of doctor's rushed past them.
Mulder watched the group of people run down the hall, his mind in turmoil. What was going on? Where was Scully? And what had happened to Krycek? He turned his head to see that Langly was already rushing back with medical personnel to tend to Krycek.
Mulder turned and followed the team around a corner, where they charged into a room. He saw Scully, saw she was unconscious, and saw the monitor flatlining. His heart felt as if a piece of it was sliding away, like the side of a cliff.
'What's happening?' Mulder asked softly.
A nurse quickly looked up at him. 'Sir, you need to leave.'
'What's happening here?' He asked louder.
She walked towards him, placing a hand on his chest. 'You can't be in here, Sir. You need to remove yourself from this ward.
Mulder looked over her head at the chaos surrounding Scully while she remained serene and unmoving in the center. He resisted the little push that the nurse gave him. 'What's wrong with her?'
Two orderlies grabbed Mulder from behind and moved him down the hall. Mulder made a futile attempt to resist, but he couldn't do much damage. He was stunned at the sight of Scully, lying helpless on the table.
'What happened?' He whispered.
Krycek was already gone, he noticed. Who knew what the hell was wrong with him? Who really cared, Mulder thought. All he could think about was Scully.
Maggie was standing at the desk, speaking to the nurse on duty there. Bill was next to her with his arm around her shoulders. 'When can I find out what's happening with my daughter?'
The nurse was used to dealing with upset parents, spouses, whatever. 'Mrs. Scully, as soon as we are given any information, we will let you know.'
Mulder walked over to Maggie. His mind was overwhelmed, not just from Scully, but from everything. He was in overload and about to breakdown. He reached Scully's mom and stared down at her, his eyes showing everything that was in his mind.
'What is it, Fox?' She said softly, putting her hands on his shoulders.
Mulder leaned down to accept the embrace, putting his head on her shoulder.
'Agent Mulder.'
Mulder looked up at the somber voice that interrupted his moment of comfort.
Cancer Man was standing next to him.
'What are you doing here?' Mulder asked, not kind, but not rude.
'I had a message, from Alex. Apparently there's been some trouble?'
Mulder's mind spun around again, he thought back to the house, the wait here. He'd never seen Krycek use the phone.
'I'm sorry.' Maggie said. 'Who are you?'
Cancer Man smiled. 'I'm Alex's father.'
�Mrs. Scully?� A doctor was walking towards them.
�Yes?� Maggie asked.
�Good afternoon, I�m Dr. Marshall.�
�How is Dana?�
�Well, as you know, Dana had a lot of problems with this pregnancy.'
'What problems?' Maggie asked, flustered. 'Dana never had any problems.'
'Maybe none that she told you about, Mrs. Scully.' The doctor said soothingly. 'I'm very sorry, but Dana didn't survive the surgery.'
The silence in the room was deafening.
Maggie stared back at the doctor, her face one of disbelief as Bill sat down in a chair. Mulder stayed where he was, his mind was completely blank. Not one thought was in his head.
'Excuse me?' Bill asked. 'Did you say she didn't survive?'
'I'm afraid so.' The doctor nodded.
'What about the baby?' The voice came from Cancer Man.
'The baby is fine.' The doctor replied. 'He is in an incubator, there are some tests we're running, but he is perfectly healthy.'
'He?' Mulder asked. 'It's a boy?'
The doctor nodded. 'Yes.'
No one said anything for a long time. The lone gunmen stood in the corner, looking forlorn and wishing they were somewhere else. Maggie sat down in a chair next to Bill and the two of them were crying, turning to each other for support.
'I want to see her.' Mulder said.
The doctor shook his head. 'I'm sorry, Sir, that's imposs-'
'I want to see her!' Mulder yelled.
'Fox-' Maggie reached an arm out towards him as the doctor continued on.
'You can�t go back there-'
Mulder brushed past the doctor. When he hit the double doors, two orderlies intercepted him. Mulder plowed through them and ran in the direction of the room Scully had been in. He burst through that door and came to an immediate halt.
People in biohazard suits were everywhere. Two of them were zipping a body bag over Scully's face. Others had radiation readers in the room; one was spraying a powdery, white mist everywhere.
Mulder took a step towards Scully. The orderlies he previously knocked down grabbed him.
'Scully!' He yelled, hoping she would simply wake up.
He was dragged back to the waiting room, through everyone standing there and deposited into a chair.
One of the orderlies pointed at him. 'One more time and we're calling the cops.'
Bill shook his head at Mulder, trying to speak through his crying. 'You always find a way to make everything worse.'
Mulder wished the tears would come to him so easily. All he felt was a huge swelling in his chest.
What am I going to do now, he asked himself. What am I going to do?
The doctor held a hand out to Maggie and placed it on her shoulder. 'Again, I'm very sorry.' Then he turned and walked away.
'I'm very sorry, Fox.' Cancer Man said to Mulder. 'But where is Alex?'
Mulder stared back at this man, his supposed father. 'He was hurt, or something.' He managed to say. He looked and sounded drugged. 'They took him somewhere.'
'Over here.' Langly said, eyeing Spender with great distaste. He was probably afraid that Spender was going to turn into a serpent and bite his head off. 'They took him down there.'
'Thank you.' Spender said politely, turning to Scully's mom. 'My deepest apologies, but I need to go see about my son.'
Maggie nodded, her face streaked with tears.
'I'll go with you.' Mulder said, wishing he would feel something, anything, other than this white fuzz clouding his brain.
***
Mulder stood leaning against the wall, needing the support it gave him. The doctor's had no clue as to what had happened to Krycek. He was fine now, just unresponsive. He was breathing and resting well, he just wouldn't wake up. Spender watched Krycek for awhile, then turned to look at Mulder.
'I do believe he'll be okay.'
Good for him. Mulder thought sourly. Scully is gone and I'm standing in a room with Cancer Man and his alien son, Krycek.
Life never quite turns out the way you think it will.
'The pressure of Agent Scully's thoughts was probably more than he could handle.'
Mulder recalled how Krycek had put his hands on the side of his head as his nose began to bleed. 'You're saying that Scully's feelings were too strong for him.'
'Yes, in a manner of speaking.' Spender said. 'His brain, his ears, everything, it was too much for him. Agent Scully's thoughts were probably very strong and his mind went into overload.'
Tears came to Mulder's eyes and he pushed them away. 'How long will he be out like this?'
Spender shrugged. 'Could be hours, could be days. I really don't know. His body needs to heal itself. Alex is very strong. He�ll be fine.'
Mulder stared down at Krycek, wondering who was luckier. Krycek for not knowing yet that Scully was dead?
Or himself, for not being Krycek when Scully was dying.
***
Mulder stumbled back into the house on the beach. The Lone Gunmen had come looking for him and said that they were going to take shifts staying with Alex because they didn't want him to wake up alone. They wanted to be there when he found out about Scully.
Mulder didn�t fight back the resentment this time. He let it ooze into in, through him.
Everyone was so worried about Krycek. They were so worried over how badly he was going to take the news. What about Mulder? Didn�t they know how deeply he had cared for Scully? Didn�t they know that he would probably be affected most of all?
Probably not.
He had been careful. He had been guarded. He had been silent. He had been afraid.
He hadn�t worn his heart on his sleeve. Unlike the half-alien enemy lying in a hospital bed.
Krycek had been blatantly obvious. Only a fool wouldn�t be able to see how much he cared about her. No matter how many times Krycek told him that he and Scully were �just friends�, Mulder would never believe it. Maybe on Scully�s side they were �just friends�, sure, he believed that. But that was the only reason they were �just friends�, because she loved Mulder, not Krycek.
And Mulder had been a little uncertain about that lately.
He thought of Scully, dancing around Krycek and singing. He thought of them flinging pumpkin innards at each other. He thought of the way they had stared at each other on the beach.
No, he doubted that he would ever believe they were �just friends�. He didn�t believe it now.
He doubted that anyone did.
Damn, he really hated Krycek.
Frohike and Langly took the first watch and Mulder got out of the hospital as soon as his body would allow him to walk again.
Maggie and Bill seemed to be doing okay, all things considered. Mulder and Byers walked into the house in time to hear Maggie's strained voice.
'Charlie, honey? It's Mom.'
Mulder closed his eyes as he made his way past and ran down to the rec room. He grabbed the first bottle his hand hit under the bar and walked out onto the deck. The surf was crashing, the moon was bright and the night was warm. He opened the bottle of Dewer's and took as big of a swallow as the burning would allow. Mulder coughed as the some scotch ran out of his mouth and onto his shirt. He wiped it off his face with his arm and made his way down to the beach.
There were bonfire's scattered all over the beach but the stretch in front of the house was fairly isolated in a cove. Faint music drifted over to him from someone's radio.
'�I won�t pay, I won�t pay, no way�Na, na�Why don't you get a job�'
Mulder sat down on the sand and took another drink of the liquor, hoping it was going to knock him out soon.
'�I guess all his money, well it isn't enough, to keep her bill collector's at bay�I guess all his money, well it isn't enough 'cause that girl's got expensive tastes��
Mulder laid down in the sand, the bottle of Dewer's in his right hand, and covered his face with his left arm. After a few moments, he began to cry.
***
