�I know, you think I�m an idiot.� Krycek shrugged. 'I've been serious for way too long, Fox. I need to act like an idiot from time to time and life is too short to worry about what everyone thinks.'
'I've been told you didn't have a childhood.' Mulder said. 'That's usually when you sow your wild oats.'
'And yet most people look back on their younger years as the best times of their life.' Krycek said. 'Why stop it.'
'Everyone has to grow up sometime.' Mulder replied.
'Why?' Krycek asked.
'It's just what you do.' Mulder said. 'You grow up.'
'Who's to say what's grown up and what isn't?'
'Let's take your child, for instance.' Mulder said. 'You have to set an example for your kid.'
'What kind of example?' Krycek responded. 'I don't want my kid thinking he or she has to act one way or another. I don't want it to think that he or she has to quit enjoying life just so they'll conform to society.'
'But don't you want it to be accepted?'
'I, of all people, know what's it like to be told how to think and act and feel.' Krycek said, looking at the view of the water below. 'I would never burden my child with that.'
Mulder stared at Krycek, trying to understand this man who had won the approval of everyone he knew.
'Good luck, Agent Mulder.' Krycek said. 'I don't understand myself.'
They were interrupted by a commotion inside. Krycek and Mulder popped their heads inside to see everyone gathered around Scully.
'What's wrong?' Mulder asked, immediately concerned.
Krycek smiled and moved over to Scully. 'The baby's moving again.'
She reached out to Krycek's hand and held it on her stomach. They grinned at each other.
'Mulder.' She said, holding her hand out as Krycek moved out of the way. 'Come here.'
It was the most amazing thing Mulder had ever felt, the baby moving. He glanced up at Scully, a smile huge on his face. She looked at him, her eyes shining. 'Isn't it wonderful?' She whispered.
Mulder nodded, completely overwhelmed with an array of emotions. Happiness, humility, jealousy.
A strange look suddenly came over her face. She turned and looked at Krycek, a question in her eyes.
He was looking around the room, confused. Mulder looked between the two of them. Krycek shook his head.
You feel that? He thought at her. I feel someone.
It was Scully's turn to look around the room. No. She shook her head. What is it, Alex?
Krycek shook his head. I guess nothing.
�Alex?� Maggie asked. �Play for me?�
Krycek smiled. �Play?�
�The piano.�
�Yeah, Alex.� Scully said, grinning, egging him on. �Play for us.�
�You know how to play the piano?� Langly asked, raising his eyebrows.
Krycek grinned back at him. �Just a little.�
�A lot more than a little.� Scully smiled. �Come on, Alex.�
Mulder stared between the two of them, uneasy again with their banter. He should be over it by now, but it was hard. They seemed to share a connection that he and Scully never had.
Krycek met her grin, then sighed and sat down at the piano. �Any requests?�
Langly went over to stand by the piano. �Let�s hear Mozart�s Piano Sonata No. 15 in C Major.�
�You know music?� Krycek asked, resting his fingers on the keyboard.
Langly smiled at him. �I know Mozart.�
Krycek grinned and began to pluck out the notes. His hands moved swiftly over the keyboard. Mulder was surprised; he never would have guessed that he�d be sitting here, watching Alex Krycek bang Mozart out of the piano. He never guessed that he�d be envious of anything Alex Krycek could do. But it seemed that�s how it went these days. Mulder looked over at Scully. She was grinning and caught his eye. Mulder smiled back at her.
Langly seemed surprised. He smiled over at Scully and she grinned larger in return. Mulder silently seethed. This was going to drive him nuts. Watching Krycek�s hands quickly compromise the keyboard, he quickly realized again that there was no way in hell he could compete with the man.
The music abruptly stopped and Krycek turned and met Mulder�s eyes. In return, Mulder stared back, surprised at the honesty with which Krycek had looked at him as his voice entered his head.
I�m not competing, you idiot.
�And it was just getting good.� Langly said.
�Sorry.� Alex grinned at him. �Got a little sidetracked.�
Scully glanced over at Mulder from her post next to the piano. He tried to give her a smile, but knew that she could see right through it. Krycek lightly rested a hand on her arm as he stood up. They shared a quick glance and Mulder knew that a few words had passed between them. Scully walked over towards the couch and Krycek flicked the switch on the sound system.
The stereo spun around on random, selecting 'King of the Road' by Roger Miller.
Krycek smiled over at Maggie, he knew this was one of her favorite songs.
Mulder helped Scully sit down on the couch, settling in next to her. He watched in silence as Krycek took Maggie's hand and began to do the Two-Step or the Do-Si-Do or some damn country-dance with her.
'�Third box car, midnight train�Destination: Bangor, Maine�Old worn-out suit and shoes�I don't pay no union dues�'
Scully was smiling at her mom. She loved the way Alex interacted with her. He was just like a kid sometimes. Scully knew that being a military wife had been a hard way to live and then the death of her Father had left her Mom alone. She was glad that her Mom�s spirit seemed lighter these days, especially when she came out to Newport.
The baby kicked again and Krycek turned to look at her, confusion still on his face.
You don't feel that? He asked her silently again.
'The baby just kicked again.' Scully replied aloud, putting Mulder's hand over it.
Krycek shook his head. 'No. That's not what...� He trailed off in silence. His eyes grew wide and he whispered. 'Dana.'
Scully felt a huge wave of emotion from Krycek. She shivered as the song droned on.
'�I know every engineer on every train�All of their children�And all of their names�'
Krycek walked over to kneel in front of her. He looked at her stomach with wonder, then back up at her. He placed a hand over hers, his eyes were teary. She took in a deep breath, her mind overwhelmed.
A tiny mind reached back to her, a mind with no clear thought on what was happening.
It was the baby.
Scully began to laugh and cry at the same time.
'Dana, honey, what's wrong?' Maggie asked as she came to sit on the couch next to her.
Scully shook her head. 'I'm just happy, Mom. It must be the hormones.' She really wanted to share this amazing experience with everyone in the room, but didn't quite know how to explain it. Oh by the way, Mom, Alex is half-alien and can sense everyone's feelings. Here, want to try? 'I think I'm going to take a walk on the beach.'
Krycek got to his feet and helped her up. She looked at him as she went out to the balcony. Krycek gave Mulder the same look to follow and they walked down the staircase to the beach.
The three of them looked at each other, standing in the full moon.
'You going to tell me what that was all about?' Mulder asked.
'Dana wants you to feel this.' Krycek said to Mulder. 'Give me your hand.'
'Why?' Mulder asked, looking back at him mistrustfully.
'Oh come on, Mulder.' Krycek said. 'It's easier for me to do this when I'm touching you. Otherwise it's hard to channel and I end up turning everything on and off.'
Mulder reluctantly held out his hand to Krycek. The instant they touched, his mind was filled with an overwhelming feeling of confusion. Confusion, innocence and love. His lip trembled.
'Is that�' He whispered. 'Is that the baby?'
'Yes.' Krycek answered, breaking the contact.
Mulder didn't know what to say. He rarely did these days. Every time he thought he had a handle on something, Krycek, Scully or Diana pulled out something else to knock him over with.
'I don't know what to say.' Mulder said.
'I just wanted you to feel it.' Scully said to him, laying a hand on his arm. 'It was the most beautiful thing I've ever felt.'
'It was.' Mulder said. His mind was suddenly in turmoil. Part of him wanted to stay here and live out this weird existence they had, the other half was ready to go home and fight the good fight.
'That's not anywhere close to the good fight, Agent Mulder.' Krycek said.
'Then what is?' Mulder asked back, angry that his feelings seeped out so clearly.
From the room above, 'Bell Bottom Blues' by Eric Clapton began to play. The song blended with the crash of the waves.
'I don't know how to tell you that you are on the wrong side.' Krycek said. 'It's just something I feel. It's not right.'
Mulder looked at Krycek. 'And I should just trust your alien instincts and come out here to be a beach bum?'
Krycek shook his head, looking down at the sand. 'That's not what I said.'
'You come across with this condescending attitude-'
'Mulder, That isn't what I meant to do.'
'Then what are you meaning to do?'
'Stop it.' Krycek said, looking at him. 'Just stop it, okay. I'm just trying to help.'
'I don't want your help, Krycek.' Mulder said softly. 'I never have, I never will.'
Krycek looked out over the surf, letting out a deep breath, listening to the music from upstairs.
'�Bell bottom blues, you make me cry...I don't wanna lose this feeling�If I could choose, a place to die�It would be your arms�'
Krycek looked down at Scully. 'I guess I'll be joining the others upstairs.' He said, smiling at her.
She smiled back at him before her eyes suddenly widened. Krycek took a step away from her, his face shocked, scared. They stared at each other for a moment and Mulder could sense the turmoil between them.
'�Do you wanna see me crawl across the floor to you�Do you wanna hear me beg you to take me back...'
Scully�s face filled with confusion. The pain shone through her eyes.
��I don�t wanna play that way�Give me one more day please��
It seemed as if they were the only two people in the universe, the connection they had just then was that strong.
��I don�t wanna play that way�In your heart, I wanna stay��
Mulder stared as tears filled Krycek's eyes.
'�It's all wrong�But it's all right�The way that you treat me baby...'
Krycek abruptly turned and walked away, the look on his face concerning even Mulder.
Scully stared after Krycek until he got into the house, then she dropped her face into her hands.
Mulder wanted to put an arm around her, to put a hand on her arm, to do anything to offer some comfort, but he couldn't. He was rooted to the spot he stood in. He had never witnessed anything like what he'd just seen. Even he could feel the connection between them that time. It was almost material.
'Scully.' He stammered out.
She didn't respond at first, she just stood there, head in hands.
Mulder reached out and touched her shoulder. 'Scully?'
She let her hands fall onto her legs and turned around to face the ocean before placing her hands over her mouth. She wanted to speak, to talk to him, but she couldn't. She had no idea what to say.
'Scully.' He said a little louder. 'What was that?'
She took her hands away from her face, running them through her hair. Her face was white.
'You want me to leave you alone?' He asked softly.
To his surprise, Scully burst into tears.
Mulder went to her and put an arm around her shoulders. She turned and leaned into him, grabbing his shirt with her hands.
'Scully, what happened?'
She shook her head against his chest. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt.
'It's nothing, Mulder.' She said, trying not to cry. 'It's between me and Alex.'
Mulder tensed up. 'Something he did?'
�No.� She whispered. 'Something I did.'
Mulder stayed outside with Scully for a good hour before she decided she could go back inside. He didn't know what had happened between them, he wasn't sure he wanted to. Scully was not easily rattled and it was shocking to see the tough-guy Krycek turn into a quivering mess.
He held her hand as they returned into the rec room. The Lone Gunmen and Stout were scattered around the room, basking in front of the fire. Everyone else had gone to bed.
'Where's Alex?' Scully asked casually.
Frohike looked over at them. 'I thought he was with you.'
'He never came back inside?' She asked.
The three looked amongst themselves, shaking their heads.
Scully reached out her mind, trying to sense Krycek. She didn't get anything. He was far enough away where she couldn't feel him.
'Damn you, Alex.' She whispered.
***
Mulder woke up earlier than usual. It was barely starting to get light outside. He tossed and turned, trying to go back to sleep, but couldn't. Sighing, he threw the covers off and stumbled out to the kitchen. Maggie was already up, sipping coffee.
'Morning, Fox.' She smiled brightly at him.
Mulder smiled back and poured himself a cup of coffee. 'And how are you today, Mrs. Scully?'
'Wonderful.' She said. 'I always sleep so well here.'
'I fell asleep pretty fast, which is odd for me.' He replied, scratching through his hair. 'But I woke up way too early.'
'That's because it's eight o�clock in the morning back on the east coast.'
Mulder snickered and nodded. 'And I'm supposed to be the deductive one.'
She smiled back at him. 'Going to try to surf with Alex today?'
Mulder shook his head, making a face. 'I have no grace.'
'Oh, I don't believe that.' She said. 'You should try it. He's up and out there before sunrise, every morning.'
Mulder paused, his mug halfway to his lips. 'He's up already?'
'Oh yes.' Maggie replied. 'He starts the coffee then runs out the door.'
Mulder eyed the open French doors. 'Scully up yet?'
'You just missed her. She went down to the beach a minute before you walked in.'
He hesitated, then couldn't resist and got up to walk out onto the deck. 'Excuse me.'
Mulder went to the railing and looked over. He spied Scully walking on the beach, towards the surf, and turned his gaze to the ocean. Krycek was out there, 'thrashing the waves' as Langly called it. After a moment, Mulder walked down to the lower deck.
***
Scully stood on the beach, waiting for Krycek to come out of the water. After putting it off as long as he could, he gave up and walked out of the surf.
She watched him approach her, carrying his surfboard under an arm. He was dripping with salt water and wearing a wet suit. She realized that she couldn't look him in the eye when he got close to her.
'Good morning.' He said, then waited for her to continue.
'Where did you go last night?' She asked, looking past him at the ocean.
'For a walk.'
Another minute of silence passed.
'Alex...' She began.
'It's okay, Dana.' Krycek replied.
'No, it's not.' She finally looked him in the eyes. 'It was wrong, what I did, said, whatever.'
'How can it be wrong, it's the way you feel.' He looked down at the sand between them. 'It's okay, I understand.'
'I don't know what to say.' She said, trying really hard not to revert into Agent Scully mode. The one where she was calm and in complete control. Alex had ended that Dana Scully and shown her a new one and she didn't want to let it go.
'I've been thinking.' Krycek said casually.
She could sense what he was going to say before it came out of his mouth. 'No, Alex.'
'I could stay close.' He said. 'I don't need to move far away.'
Scully searched his face. 'There�s no reason for you to leave, Alex. It is your house.'
'I don�t want to come between you and Mulder.'
'You won�t.'
Krycek laughed. 'I already have. He will never forgive me and where does that leave you?'
'Why don't you let me worry about Mulder?'
'I've already got you in a heap of shit, Dana.' He said softly. 'Let me get you out of a little. Mulder will come and see you more if I'm not around.'
'Look here, Mr. In Touch With Everyone's Feelings. Can you feel this?' Scully reached out and took one of his hands and stared him in the face.
Krycek's eyes flicked back and forth between hers. 'Yes.'
'I don't want you to go.' She said again.
He stared back at her, then shook his head and looked away. 'I won�t watch your relationship with Fox be destroyed because of me.' He let go of her hand as he walked past her.
'Alex.' She called to him, but he kept walking, not looking back.
Mulder withdrew from the railing of the deck, into the house as Krycek got closer.
He backed into the room and got busy lighting a fire as Krycek came up the staircase. He was confused about what he'd just heard and wasn't sure what to say to either of them about it.
Krycek walked into the rec room, dripping water all over the floor. He didn't care. Mulder looked up as Krycek searched the room for him. Their eyes locked and Mulder couldn't look away. He'd never seen eyes with so much emotion.
'You win.' Krycek said, and walked out of the room.
Mulder hesitated for a moment, then followed him up the stairs.
'What do you mean, I win.'
'I'm leaving.' Krycek said, walking into his room and standing his surfboard up in the corner. 'You win.'
Mulder paused, not sure whether he felt happy or guilty. 'Why are you leaving?'
'You heard.' Krycek replied.
Mulder winced inwardly, he should have known that Krycek would sense him on the deck. 'I heard a little, I still don't know what the hell's going on.'
'I guess it doesn't matter.'
Mulder looked up at the ceiling, letting out a breath. Didn't he want this to happen? Didn't he want Krycek as far away from Scully as possible? Hadn't he wished every death imaginable on his nemesis?
'I can't let you leave.' He said.
'You don't have much choice.'
'If you leave.' Mulder said. 'She�ll never forgive me for chasing you away.'
'You're not chasing me away.' Krycek turned and looked him in the eye, his hands on his hips. 'I'm leaving because in the end, she will never forgive herself.'
Mulder was confused. 'What the hell are you talking about?'
'It doesn't matter.' Krycek turned his back on Mulder to look out the window. 'All I want is for her to be happy. If I leave, she'll have you.'
'She has me now.' Mulder said.
'Mulder, you live all the way across the country. You haven't called; you haven't been out to visit until now. It's been six months. Six months, Mulder. You don't think she hasn't questioned your relationship?'
'I did what I thought was right.'
'And I'm doing the same.' Krycek pulled a suitcase off the top of his closet.
Mulder watched him throw things into his bag. 'I thought Scully was the only person you've ever really cared about? I thought you wouldn't lose her because of me.'
Krycek didn't look at him. 'Things have changed.'
'Things have changed because of last night?' Mulder asked. 'What happened out there?'
'That's between me and Dana.'
'I don't know, Krycek, but it sounds like it's got a lot to do with me.'
Krycek suddenly looked up at him again. 'I just want her to be happy.'
Mulder sighed, hating to say it. 'It seems like she's happy here with you.'
'I am.'
They both turned to see Scully standing in the doorway.
Krycek stared back at her, his thoughts finding their way into her head.
You don't want to do this, Dana.
Do what, Alex? Tell the truth?
'This isn't going to work anymore.' He said aloud. 'Not after last night.'
'Well, we really can't pretend it didn't happen.' She said.
'Yes, we can.' Krycek replied.
'How can you say that?' Scully seemed a little angry.
'Because that was one moment.' He said, pointing out the window towards the beach. 'One moment compared to what?' He glanced over at Mulder. 'Eight years?'
Mulder looked between the two of them. 'What are you talking about.' He stammered. 'What are you talking about, eight years?'
Krycek and Scully engaged in the stare-down competition again. Mulder didn't know what to make of this because since he'd come back, they'd seemed so close. He didn�t think they knew how to be angry with each other, but right now they appeared fairly miffed.
'Let's hash this out, right here and now.' Scully said angrily. 'Since this is about the three of us.'
'You're prepared to talk about this?' Krycek asked. 'Think about what you're about to do.'
Mulder held his hands up, for once not wanting to be in the middle of this. He could feel the heat in the room and wanted no part of their feud. 'I can leave, if you'd rather discuss this alone.'
'No, stay.' Krycek said, not breaking eye contact with Scully. 'I'm sure you're going to want to hear what I'm about to say.'
'Don't do this, Alex.' Scully warned.
He smiled before continuing. 'Last night Dana sensed that I was in love with her. Now she's trying to protect me.'
'That's not what happened.' Scully snapped at him.
'It's exactly what happened.' Krycek replied. 'She sensed my feelings, then told me that she could never feel the same way because she is in love with you.'
'Why are you doing this?' Scully raised her voice.
'I only want you to be happy.' He replied sadly.
'That's not what happened.' She repeated.
Krycek stared at her for a moment, then continued. 'It is obviously too hard for me to stay here because you will always feel uncomfortable with what I've said and I will always know that I can't have you.'
'That's not what happened.' She said again.
Krycek laughed in disbelief. �What are you doing?�
Scully closed her eyes and lowered her head.
'You want to tell him your side, go ahead.' Krycek resumed his packing. 'Or I can just leave like I was planning and we can all forget about this little altercation.'
