3.01 "The Honeymoon's Over"
*Phoebe: Excuse me, but I have issues.
*Piper: Leo, who were you talking to?
Leo: Me? Uh, nobody, just myself, you know.
Piper: You were telling yourself how much you love you?
*Piper: This is so not happening.
Leo: Listen to me, Piper. I thought this whole thing through.
Piper: Uh huh. Is that why you asked me to marry you in a toilet?
*Piper: For a minute there I thought that I wasn't going to make it, that that was it. And that's when I realized that I don't want to die without ever having been narried to you. The answer is yes, Leo, I would love to marry you.
3.02 "Magic Hour"
*Phoebe: (shouting) Leo!
Leo: Shhhh!
Phoebe: (whispering) Leo!
*Prue: Yeah, well, rules were meant to be broken
Phoebe: But bodies weren't
Piper: Niether were hearts
*(scene: Kit is harassing an owl on the porch of the manor)
Piper: Kit! Leave that alone!
Phoebe: Bad kitty!
(owl turns into a naked man)
Prue: good kitty...
*Phoebe: Anything, anything. I curse you, you curse me, let's get together and do a little cursing...
3.03 "Once Upon a Time"
*Leo: We need to talk.
Piper: Leo, you haven't kissed me in over a week. Don't you think that takes priority?
*Phoebe: Uh, keys?
Prue: What?
Phoebe: Silver shiny things that go "jingle jingle"?
*Piper: Why are you being so stubborn about this?
Phoebe: Because I'm a Scorpio, what's you're excuse?
*Piper: You need a diaper change?
Prue: Very funny. Look, we need you to come home right away by midnight, or else...
Piper: The Tooth Fairy's gonna come and harrass us all for not flossing?
*Piper: (looking up at the sky) I bet you guys think that this is really funny, don't you? Haven't you taken enough from me? You have to send trolls to kick me while I'm down? I had a nice normal life once and you took that from me. You took my boyfriend, you took my life, the least you could do is leave me my freakin' car keys! I'm a good person, I'm a good witch, and dammit, I would've made a great wife! And how dare you take that from me. I deserve... no. You know what? I demand that you send him back to me. You hear me? Right now. I'm going to stand in this very spot until you send Leo back to me.
3.04 "All Halliwell's Eve"
*Prue: (to Piper, who is dressed up as Glinda the good witch of the north) Hey, are you a good witch or a bad witch.
Piper: I'm going to be a very good witch from now on.
Prue: And you picked a role model that wears lots and lots of pink?
*Phoebe: (wearing a tight black witch's dress and conical hat) This costume happens to be a protest statement.
Prue: I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.
*Piper: Flee! We're not in Kansas anymore!
*Piper: I always get the messy jobs.
*Piper: What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: (getting onto a broom as though she was going to fly it) I'm gonna embrace the cliche! (she goes off, flying and cackling)
Piper: There's something you don't see everyday.
Prue: A way to always be prepared.
Phoebe: These are very big contraceptives, Prue.
Prue: Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I a
Vinceres: Misery.
Prue: Well then would you like some company?
Vinceres: That wasn't funny.
Phoebe: Cole's.
Piper: You could've changed. All night?
Phoebe: Mm hmm.
Piper: Did you?
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Piper: Did he?
Phoebe: Uh huh!!
Phoebe: Um, we came to visit our father.
Nurse: And what's his name?
Phoebe: Dad?
Prue: I did, didn't I?
Prue: No, you don't. You love me.
Cole: Yeah? You sure she won't be angry?
Phoebe: Oh, she's gonna be furious, but she'll just suppress it and take it out on me later.
Piper: Leo, I was a chef. I can't make chips and dip!
Phoebe: Well, Leo was a doctor before he died.
Piper: That's really not the point.
Phoebe: Demon with demon filling.
Piper: Well not always. We might kill each other.
Piper: Yecch.
Prue: Ecch?
Piper: Yecch.
Prue: So you can slice off a chunk of demon flesh, but you can't touch a pig's foot?
Piper: I'm a vegetarian.
Prue: Since when?
Piper: Since now.
Prue: Now is not the time to get squeamish, okay. This recipe is very important. We have to follow it to a T. Prue drops a pig's foot in the bubbling potion.
Piper: Poor piggy.
Prue: Hi, I'm Prue, a Scorpio.
Prue: All right!
Piper: Stomachs?
Prue: Oh, I am too.
Phoebe: Who?
Piper: That guy at the end of the bar.
Phoebe: Oh, no, honey that's not staring. That's flirting.
Piper: You say tomato.
Phoebe: No, I say relaxo.
Phoebe: No argument here.
*Prue: Bizarrer? Is that even a word, Piper?
Phoebe: I'm not surprised! I'm not surprised! I'm not surprised!
*Piper: (about demons) Why can't they ever run into a well-lit room with nowhere to hide?
Natalie: She what?
Prue: Yep!
Piper: Take a number.
Leo: Maybe later okay? Why don't you go meet Natalie.
Phoebe: Who's Natalie?
Piper: She's a--
Leo: Fellow whitelighter. See, finished your sentence.
Piper: Hm. That's not what I was going to say.
Piper: And siding with us is for yours.
Phoebe: You mean him.
Piper: Nah. I mean her.
Prue: Okay, but then I have nothing to wear.
Piper: To win!
Natalie: No.
Piper: No!
Prue: Oh, that is so easy.
Piper: Don't tempt me.
Prue: I know that demon. I dated that demon!
Phoebe: Piper also babbles when she's nervous.
Piper: I resent that. I am expressing a valid concern about this continuing issue in our lives--
Prue: What are you babbling about?
Piper: You know if I could freeze you two, I would. Often.
*Phoebe: I didn't know you dated the captain of the college football team. How suburban.
*Piper: Your orbs are grass if you don't find that ring.
Phoebe: Well, it's not really an easy thing to drop into conversation. You know like, "Oh, your hair looks great! Cole's not dead. I let him go."
Phoebe: Uh huh.
Morris: How'd it change?
Phoebe: Um, well, it must be because I colored my hair in that sink so technically I lost it there and now I've found it again. I hope this doesn't affect my virginity.
Piper: Wait, so everything is coming back to where it was lost? So that means you lost your vir--
*Piper: (about the socks) Those better be clean. Or else it's laundry day for you, missy.
*PIper: Remind me again why we are doing this.
Phoebe: Because your sisters have a thing for saving bad boys.
Piper: If I die before I get married, I'm going to be really mad at the two of you.
*Piper: Okay. I'd still like to point out that I have a really bad feeling about this.
Piper: Nope. Ahhh... If anything happens to me, he's gonna stay that way.
Phoebe: (whispering) Is that true?
Piper: (whispering) Yes!
*Morris: They were tailing their demon hoping that he would lead them to his...bigger demon.
Prue: Um, okay. Why is Phoebe going to school without her books?
Piper: Okay, why isn't Prue answering Piper's question?
Prue: Maybe because she doesn't want both of her sisters not speaking to her.
Phoebe: Not yet.
Piper: We're screwed.
Phoebe: Not yet.
Piper: Leo, what did you find out?
Leo: Nothing.
Phoebe: Okay, now we're screwed.
*Piper: Prue, hey. Hi. You don't look so good.
Phoebe: Yeah, but that's a great dress.
Second Prue: You too.
Piper: Welcome to Planet Narcissist.
Piper: She must have hit her head.
*Leo: Piper, he's gonna kill me when he finds out.
Piper: Oh, don't be ridiculous. You're all ready dead.
*Phoebe: I'll get the Book.
Piper: I'll get it. And maybe a drink.
*Cole: You gotta hold my hand.
Prue: This all ready sucks.
*Phoebe: Well, don't get mad at me. I've been shot.
*Bartender: Nothing to worry your pretty little head about.
Prue: Now that's condescending--
Cole: Lay low, remember!
Prue: Sorr
Prue: Without opening a fastfood franchise, yeah.
Leo: But you're not even wearing your dress.
Piper: The same rule applies to the bride's curlers.
Piper: Would you like to get slapped?
Cole: Everybody having fun down here?
Leo: Where do you stand on demons?
Patty: Hello, Victor. How are you?
Victor: Good. I mean, I was good. All right, who brought my ex-wife back from the dead?
Grams: Not now Victor. I know that you two have issues, but that's what the reception is for.
Prue: Don't make me sick.
Piper: Wait, does that mean we can never turn it off?
Phoebe: At this rate, you're gonna turn it off in record time.
Cole: No, you kicked air.
Cole: That's good.
*Leo: She needs some time.
Piper: And we need a maid.
Leo: No, we didn't.
Piper: You only live on this plane for a time and there is no way we need all of these boxes just for me.
Leo: Yes, we do.
Piper: Are you saying I have too much stuff?
Leo: Yes, I am.
Piper: You do realize that the only reason I'm letting you get away with that is because you're the only one on my side right now?
Leo: Yes, I do.
*Piper: I don't want to be one of those old married lepers that nobody thinks is fun anymore.
Prue: You've never been fun, Piper.
Piper: I have always been fun, Prue. I am just Mrs. Fun now.
Phoebe: Well, on a scale of one to ten, ten being we kick ass, one being he laughs at us while we're on fire and naked--
Piper: Maybe you should lie to me.
Prue: Now there's a full time job.
Phoebe: Thank you very much.
Phoebe: I'm not wearing any underwear.
Professor: Excuse me?
Phoebe: Yeah, I find it too constricting.
Professor: Are you making some kind of a joke?
Phoebe: No, I'm serious. Dead serious. I've been a bad girl, a very bad girl. And I'll do anything to make it up to you.
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