B l u e P a r a d e - A S a r a h S l e a n F a n s i t e
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�This job is weird because what you do and what you sell is so
much you,� says songstress Sarah Slean. �It�s the deepest, oldest,
most ancient raw part of yourself that is out there on the
chopping block for everyone to nudge around or ignore.
�It feels very exposed � like a bit of a blood sport. I don�t
feel prone to jump into the fray and say �look at me,� because
that�s contrary to my nature.� Only hours before her
mid�afternoon interview with ECHO, the multi�talented Sarah
Slean spent the early part of February 7th sitting among media
and industry types in Toronto as the nominees for the 34th
annual Juno Awards were to be announced.
At such an event, supposedly celebrating the �exposed� side
of Canada�s most talented artists, Slean was not at all nudged
around or ignored, but was definitely up against some severely
stiff competition. To no one�s surprise, national music treasures
like Shania Twain, Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne dominated most
of the female categories, leaving Slean on the outside looking in.
While not being placed directly in the same ring as those
stage�stealing heavyweights, Slean did manage to find herself in
quite a unique, yet intriguing position � along with her musical
cohorts Sarah Harmer, Matt Mays, Rufus Wainwright and Ron
Sexsmith, Slean found herself nominated for the inaugural Adult
Alternative Album of the Year award. Unfortunately, all of these
five nominees will need to wait until April 3rd in Winnipeg,
Manitoba to find out if their endless tours, parade�like publicity
jaunts and never�ending fan meet and greets pay off.
Nevertheless, Slean�s accomplishment sits within the
completion of her 2004 release Day One, as it ultimately took a
bumpy road of isolation and self�discovery to receive such
recognition from her peers.
In the summer of 2003 Slean decided that she�d had enough
of the modern world. She packed up her necessary belongings
and abandoned Toronto in search of herself. What she soon found
was a fortress of solitude disguised as a log cabin in a remote
area just outside of Ottawa.
�My heart was just shrivelling up and I was running out of
love for the world and the ability to take pleasure in small things,�
reflects Slean on the more than four months she spent removed
from society.
�I don�t know if I was over thinking or feeling the weight of
meaninglessness and the feeling that everything was hilariously
empty � and I felt empty. I just wanted to simplify and subtract.
�I didn�t go there to write a record or anything, I just went
there to save myself and try to get back on the path.�
As the time wore on, Slean would spend hours and days
painting, writing, dancing and learning how to live independently
from civilization. She had to fetch her own water everyday from
outside the cabin, shower outdoors and, most importantly, learn
how to live with herself minus a sea of humanity.
�I needed to learn something so bad,� explains Slean. �I felt
like a metaphysical idiot and I had no teachers or masters, and I
decided that solitude and the struggle of loneliness was going to
be those teachers and masters.
�It had nothing to do with the mundane earthly details about
labels and making money � it had nothing to do with career. It
had everything to do with the soul and a human on earth, and
where are they going? Are they full of love or are they starving for
love? It was about my mind; I wanted to hone my mind.�
As a result, Slean slowly learned how to recapture the
passion that allowed her to become the strong singer/songwriter
she is today. But despite the modest success of 2002�s Night
Bugs, and the outside anticipation of what Slean�s next album
may be, coming to terms with how her music reflected her as a
human being became a much more important mission.
�I woke up everyday thinking to myself that I need to make
my life meaningful somehow by helping in some way,� she says.
�And I felt, �Jesus Christ, I�m not a doctor on the front lines, I�m
making songs.� I had real moral struggle with that. I came to the
conclusion that if you live with your spirit on your sleeve, and if
your genuine goal is to comfort others or to give joy to others,
you can do that in the form of making music�that�s just as
noble.
�It�s an ongoing struggle to give your life meaning and to
feel like you�re on this earth for a purpose.�
After months outside the city, Slean soon felt revitalized and
surer than ever about her choices in life. What came from that
time alone would become the ground work for Day One, an album
that successfully meshes heartbreak and inspiration without
alienating the listener.
�[Listeners] need to hear the blood, the tears and the
struggling,� she notes. �I consider it to be a spiritual exercise, to
identify with music when you hear the struggle in it, and
recognize it as your own.
Slean admits today that understanding her world and the
one around her is still a challenge, and that she may not
single�handedly change their world, but she can make hers a
better place to be.
�I�m a lot more peaceful in my life,� she concedes. �My mind
was a very frantic place to be for a lot of years, and I�m a little
slower now in my watching, my appreciating, and my accepting of
things in my life, which I think is a good thing.�
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