The Embassy of Love
The Embassy of Love is a secret fraternal order established with the singular goal of Complete Global Domination. The Embassy lives and works from the Lovenasium, enjoying the frills of unthreatened wealth and power. The Embassy uses the Lovenasium for the purposes of both work and pleasure-related activities (primarily pleasure activities, nooch).
What is the Embassy of Love?
Sarie26 (Agent 0026) and AndyWride (00147) hold the title of co-captains of the Lovenasium. They are large and in charge. Everyone else pretty much does whatever they say. They also get a whole lot of ase. Loads, even.The Captains
The Staff ~ Law Enforcement Unit
The First Mate ~ Jennifer Spragg
Jen, as the First Mate, basically is Sarie's Grand Vizier, or second in command. She will get to do whatever the hell she wants and she will be known and feared by all (and yet they'll all be strangely attracted to her). She gets a great deal of ase.
The Grand Vizier ~ Nick Bowers
The Grand Vizier is the right-hand man to Captain Wride. The Vizier is responsible for handling matters of estate (and of the heart). Basically, the Vizier gets lots of privileges and authority and a sweet outfit, but doesn't really have to do much of anything at all.
The Captain of Fear ~ Maggie Hyde
The Captain of Fear's role is fairly self-explanatory. The Captain of Fear is responsible for instilling terror in the hearts of the masses by any means necessary. The Captain of Fear's staff includes the Dictator of Pain, The Grand High Holy Belittler, The Referee, and the Court Magistrate.
The Court Magistrate ~ Shanna Jeannette Bossler
The Court Magistrate is the legal voice of the Lovenasium. It is her job to ensure that all passengers abide by the holy laws of the Lovenasium and to maintain a sense of peace and tranquility on board by whatever measures are necessary. If there should be an altercation or any sort of rule-breakage, the perpetrator(s) will have to face the Court Magistrate for sentencing.
The Dictator of Pain ~ Robert Francis Chattin
The Dictator of Pain is the henchman of the Captain of Fear. Once a villain's fate has been decided by the Magistrate, the Captain of Fear will scare the criminal and then turn he or she over to the Dictator of Pain who will carry out the sentencing (if that sentence entails any sort of violent punishment). The Dictator of Pain is exceedingly strong and exceptionally good-looking; he gets a TON of hot, steamy ase in his spare time.
The Grand High Holy Belittler/Dame Bitch ~ Carolyn Kent
The Grand High Holy Belittler is an important figure on board the Lovenasium, a force to be reckoned with. Duties include harassment, heckling, mockery, taunting, teasing, tormenting, hazing and bullying (not to mention throwing blunt objects and making a lot of noise). Ours is so good we have given her the additional title Dame Bitch. Beware!
The Referree ~ Carrie Coon
The Referee is responisble for enforcing sportsmanship in all Lovenasium activities, including fights, squabbles, gaming, and affairs of the heart, to name a few. The Referee has the right to put anyone in time-out at any time, or if matters call for more drastic measures, "refer" them to the Captain of Fear.
The Drawermaster ~ Mandi Decker
The Drawermaster is the keeper of the Lovenasium's jail cell, consisting of drawers in which villainous passengers will be placed. The Drawermaster is quite frightening, and has been known to subject those in captivity to endless hours of the baby voice. She works hand in hand with the Captain of Fear, the Dictator of Pain, and the Referee.
The Minister of Logistical Services ~ Mike E.
The Minister of Logistical Services issues legal documents such as licenses,
passports, visas, credit cards, etc. The Minister of Logistical Services is quite cranky and has been known to change the application processes on a daily
(sometimes even hourly basis). He's often difficult to find, as he takes lots of vacation time. The line at his office is usually very long, and there is no ventilation or even air circulation in there. It's not a fun place. Sometimes the Dictator of Pain will make people go and wait in line as a punishment.
Press Secretary ~ Nick Rossi
The Press Secretary is the only person allowed to divulge information about the Lovenasium to the Press. The Press Secretary appears on TV and is quoted on the internet and in publications in place of the Captains, as they can never, ever be seen or heard. The Press Secretary lies a lot and performs mind-erasing spells.
Lord of Publicity ~ Jay Weisberger
The Lord of Publicity is basically the person who controls what the public knows about the Embassy. He works directly with the Press Secretary, overseeing and managing him. The Lord of Publicity makes us look good 24/7 and helps strengthen and promote the aura of fear surrounding the Embassy's glorious name.
Lieutenant ~ Lesley Cross
She's the ship's army. 'Nuff said!
Whale Activist/Animal Engineer ~ Cyrus Afrasiabi
Contrary to popular belief, the Embassy of Love does care about the world we live in - we believe in animal rights! That is why we have contracted Lolo to help save the whales. Is it wrong that we sometimes pay him extra to implant laser beams into the heads of sharks? We don't think so.
The Staff ~ Entertainment Unit
The Concierge ~ Gregoire Decker
The Concierge is responsible for overseeing the guests' stays on board the Lovenasium. He provides you with room service, suggests possible entertainment activities, and ensures that there is plenty of wine and chocolates in your cabin.
The Cabana Boy ~ Dan "Mummee" Wright
The Cabana Boy accompanies the Captains around the Lovenasium and is responsible for providing an endless supply of alcoholic beverages (especially 26 Mixes) to the entire ship. The Cabana Boy is a fun-loving chap, and sports a red sequined thong.
The Roving, Wandering Minstrel ~ Ben Vanek
The Roving, Wandering Minstrel plays a variety of musical instruments and follows Captain Wride about the Lovenasium, playing and singing folk songs.
The Court Jester/Dutchess of Ballyhoo ~ Natalie Renee Green
The Court Jester (affectionately dubbed Dutchess of Ballyhoo) is the source of all hilarity and entertainment on board the Lovenasium. She is responsible for making people laugh 24/7 and she often sings duets with the Roving, Wandering Minstrel.
The Coach ~ Kari Wiborg
The Coach is responsible for coaching and instructing all the gaming and sports-related entertainment on the Lovenasium ... and other stuff...
Talent Scout/Ho Wrangler ~ Mackenzie Stroh
This is an important position, as the Ho Wrangler is the eyes and ears of the Captains when the ship docks. The Ho Wrangler goes on land and seeks out fresh meat to bring on board the Lovenasium to add to the growing harem.
Empress of Herbal Stimulants ~ Katie Rogers
She supplies the herbal stimulants, dude.
The Bartender/Poet Laureat ~ Evan Georges
Serves up a potent beverage while delivering lofty bits of wisdom, poetry, hilarity and sometimes the occasional script.
Queen of the Mer-People ~ Leslie Ann Schaffer
The Queen of the Mer-People wears a fashionable tail and shell-bra, and tools around the decks of the Lovenasium in a zippy remote-controlled water tank complete with diving board and slide.
WLUV Radio DJ ~ Jon Cross
Voices of the Lovenasium...worldwide.
Shaminda Amarakoon, Katlego Baiitse, Sarah Bitting, Josh Bossler, J. Branch, Shane T. Colligan, Damn Jessi Crast, John Doyle, Steve Fabian, Eric Fackler, The Garvers, The Hagers, All Harris Family Members, Lindsay Heppe, Lasse Jorgensen, Cheryl Junker, Laura Klingler, Jared Kreuzer, Jason Lee, Krista Leipheimer, Erin McConnell, Sean "Pincushion" McLaughlan, Megan Monday, Tom Moutsos, Don O'Don, Carmen O'Donnell, Omar Perez, Ellie Portman, Kristen Puccetti, Katie Reid, Megan Roberts, Nick Rossi, Jenna Rusk, Sarah Schaberg, Adam Sherwin, Adam Smith, Julie Sprenger, Chad Stevens, Kyle Torok, Jeff Toth, Unnsteinn "Iceland" Unnsteinnson, E. Walker, Allison Wodkowski.Guests of the Lovenasium
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