>h4x�r_
pretend that's blinking ^
I am not a h4x0r, Nor am I even close. I do, however, dabble with various forms of programming. From Basic on the C=64, then attempting the same thing via .bat files in DOS, HTML, then CSS, and believe it or not, even Microsoft Excel, and then ultimately qbasic. Yeah, I have too short an attention span to learn a real language like C++ Java, PHP, or even Flash, Which I realize is not even close to being a programming language, but it's better than my .bat games, I'll tell you that much. Maybe someday I will brave the world or real computing.
This section dedicated
to the l337 master
If this is at all interesting to you, be sure to see the last program before becoming too bored. And let me know what you think in general. I've always wanted an excuse to post all this, and I'd love to not have it met with silence :-|
Now lets take that again, only slower.
(I swear, there are no viruses or any other malicious code in any of these links.)
| Basic |
load "dumbgame",8,1
run
you are in a room, there are doors to the North and East.
What do you want to do?
?
I loved this shit. |
| HTML/CSS |
The closest I came to being a h4x0r or a reverse engineer was when I taught myself HTML. There wasn't as much in the way of online tutorials everywhere when I started, and I never wanted to get a book. I don't like books really. I would view the source of a page that had a feature I wanted, and strip everything out until that was all I was left with. This was especially since I knew nothing of java, but wanted to use javascripts. Later, I got into style sheets since they made everything so much easier. They're not hard, but they can get as complicated as you want them to be. When I found LiveJournal, or more specifically Blurty, then DeadJournal, I got into journal layouts, which combine both HTML and CSS. That was fun for a while. I don't have anything really specific to show other than what you've already seen. Right click->View Source->I typed every character (except for the java scripts, which I stole). Be impressed. I have also designed a poorly received language which I call MTML. |
| MS Excel |
Yes, I realize this isn't a programming language, but seriously, check this shit out!
>text_converter_v1.5.5
A converter that does text to l337 and binary and back. The binary stuff might not work unless you install support for it, but hopefully the rest will work fine. If you have trouble with the previous version, try the lite version. Yeah, you know that Excel can add shit and do various types of math, but the if, and & or commands are rather versatile. A while back, I made this post, and wasn't heard from in months. I was hoping some brave soul would decode it and make me proud, but no. This lead to the renewal of my curiosities and the resurrection of my love for logic. Sorry for the .zip files, these things are huge. Please download these only once, or save them :) |
| .bat |
A few years back, I tried to revive my Basic skills, and found the .bat file. I did my share of text adventures, but I don't have any examples of that. After reaching limitations in Excel, I moved on to the next language I was familiar with. Back to the .bat file.
Instructions: Now, it's been a while, but I think you need to put choice.com into your windows folder since I just now learned that there is an alternative keyboard input method for win2k and XP. Sorry again for the .zip files, this time, the lame ass web host doesn't like .com and .bat extensions, which I guess makes sense. Anyway, here's what I made:
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| Tic Tac Toe | | I started the logic in the above Excel file, but beyond that, I wanted to create AI. I think it's pretty hard to beat, but since you go first, you can. |
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| Connect 4 | | You remember the game. It's basically just tic tac toe, only the pieces drop down and there's more spaces. This was the stepping stone to a proper game. |
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| Puzzlemania | | This is my Tetris-style puzzle game. I'm shocked and pleased that this all worked as well as it did. Pieces fall, you get combos, there's a scoring system, and it has an awesome name! \m/ |
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The shortest
game ever | | A game where you type your name, like you're going to start a game, and then it just ends. It was going to be a typical text adventure, and I did get save game stuff working, but never actually made a game. |
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| qBasic |
I never actually made a game in qbasic like I was planning since I got caught up in the graphics, and had to learn a new style of programming. I had always used goto to jump from point to point within a file, but with qbasic, I learned how to use loops and arrays, which are a completely different animal. Lets see what I have for you here.
| Sprite |
A very cheesy static sprite of a male head, done a pixel at a time. This was very annoying.
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| Frog |
Another bad static graphic, this time using circles made solid by a boring subroutine.
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| Triangles |
I now know how they made the Mystify screensaver for Windows 3.1, however, this is far less cool, and WTF is up with the shitty refresh? Though lame, this started me on the path toward the next program, which is my pride and joy.
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| Super K3wl FX Thing |
This is where I ended up. This is the most complicated program I've ever written. It's a fake-physics particle engine that, if qbasic wasn't so slow, could be used for various effects in games. Effects such as fire, water, smoke, and bouncy solids. There are several settings to control the look and behavior of the effect and the variety of results make me pat myself on the back with little or no shame. Like I said before, if you don't look at anything else, check this out and bask in my codemonkey glory!
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You are supposed to be able to compile your qbasic files as an .exe, but I could never do it. You'll need to download qbasic here in order to run a .bas file. If you've gotten this far, then you shouldn't need further instruction. I wrote a totally lame qbasic birthday card, check it out. I have no idea why I'm posting this, but here are the colors qbasic uses. I found it very helpful.
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What this page needs is more tables.
Okay, that was really fucking huge. Sorry for boring all of you, when I can only think of one person who might actually be even remotely interested. This section was done for me, and it makes this the coolest webpage I've ever written. And you were here! Something to tell your kids if you ask me.
/me bows
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