San San's diary (Oct, 2003)

Just click on any of the following underlined dates and you can get to know what's going on with me that day.

Oct 1, 2003 (Wed)

Putonghua lesson

Still remembering what the hall tutor said to us last night about what to do if the fire alarm went off in the middle of our shower, I took my shower quickly as I was wondering if a fire alarm would go off in such an 'inappropriate' time. Maybe I got too much imagination (imagining how quickly I'd put on my clothes and then go downstairs as quickly as I could).

My supervisor's meeting for us was held for the first time. The presentation on a language that I didn't know was interesting but I found difficulty understanding all of what the presenter said. I felt more relieved when a classmate of mine told me of the same feeling.

There was a welcome party for my residence tonight. I attended it with my flatmates. We were asked to form a group with those having the same stickers as us. I knew no one in my group but one of them could speak Cantonese. It's interesting that I got to know a few Cantonese-speaking people here but all of them are from Guang Zhou. After having two pieces of pizza (only pizza was available!), I turned my attention to one of my flatmates instead of listening to what the host said when a quiz game was taking place. I tried to learn Putonghua from her while she tried to learn Cantonese from me. The guy in my group kept teasing me for my Putonghua and the way I taught my flatmate Cantonese. 

Anyway, I had fun tonight and I felt I had settled in my life here...

Oct 3, 2003 (Fri)

My Putonghua teachers

I went to a nearby health centre to register with the GP with two of my flatmates today. Different from last time when I was here for my MA, we had to had a simple body check and I got a meningitis injection afterwards.  I continued to learn some Putonghua from my two flatmates and although I had some knowledge of the language (or dialect?!), I had some difficulties in the pronunciation. But I wasn't afraid to speak Putonghua in front of them as they wouldn't laugh at me. Two good Putonghua teachers! :)

Oct 5, 2003 (Sun)

Hi, mom!

I had stayed up very late last night and so woke up quite late today. I felt good about the fact that no one interrupted my sleep. I got to talk to my mom for the first time since I arrived at Manchester two weeks ago. She called to tell me that my uncle would be coming to the UK this month and she asked me if I wanted him to bring me anything from HK. The call lasted for no more than five minutes and I forgot what I had planned to ask her if I had got a chance to talk to her.

That's what Sandy looked like when sleeping!

Oct 6, 2003 (Mon)

A nice tutor

Finally I met my postgraduate tutor this morning. In fact, he has stepped down from his post as the postgraduate tutor to current students in the department.  But I still liked to meet him for a chat about my study and everything, especially whenever I got any question not related to my study in an academic sense. He's like a father figure to whom you can talk about everything. I've mentioned in my homepage before that there are two people I owe my debt of gratitude to and from whom I learnt a lot in the department: one is my supervisor and the other's my postgraduate tutor, both of whom have done a lot for me and I don't think I could have been here without their help.

It was really expensive to send a letter to HK from the UK. Maybe I should try to avoid letting my letter be weighed next time. The story was like this: the post office close to the campus was closed down without any reason and so I went to the city centre to buy a stamp for the letter. When I told the lady at the counter I'd like to buy a stamp for mail to HK, she saw me holding a letter and asked me to weigh it. So, instead of paying 47p for a stamp, I had to pay 68p. It was double the cost of a stamp in HK.

Being a volunteer in the UK is something taken seriously. I had to fill in some forms and submitted the information of two referees. According to one of the staff in the Chinese community centre, applying to a volunteer here is just like applying for jobs and the experience will be counted by the employers here. Anyway, I just want to do something different and get some experience here.

 I got a visitor to my room this afternoon.  I was like a real estate agent, introducing different parts of my flat and my room to my friend. Perhaps that shows how much I've been enjoying living here?!

Oct 7, 2003 (Tue)

Too anxious about my study

I got a strange dream last night, in which I met an author of a book who's done a study on the language use of the Chinese community in Newcastle, which is relevant to my MA and PhD study. I don't know if that's the reason why I dreamt about him. Maybe I've been too worried about my study?!

I missed the first departmental seminar this afternoon. I did get to the room where the seminar was held after spending a bit of time locating the venue. But I didn't go in when I found I was late for the seminar and the room seemed to be full of people. So I went back home. I got an email from the new postgraduate tutor who said ALL postgraduate students were supposed to attend the seminar and attendance would be taken. Oh, god!...

Perhaps out of a sense of guilty, I tried to do something for my study. I booked some optional half-day courses and organized my stuff.

Oct 8, 2003 (Wed)

Special meaning of 'Wednesday'

Whenever Wednesday's approaching, I feel headache, wondering whether I should meet my supervisor and what I can tell him about my study. I'm supposed to have done something but... Just borrowed a book from him and attended the weekly meeting with other PhD students organized by him, who was giving a presentation on an interesting topic 'the borrowability of verbs'. Then had a short chat with one of my classmates, whose research topic was similar to mine and I felt a bit relieved whenever I talked to her. Perhaps because I found someone whose experience was similar to mine and also because we both were doing the same thing?!

Got a late night call from one of my flatmates. Couldn't believe there was someone who stayed up as late as me. : )

Oct 9, 2003 (Thur)

Eating well is the first and foremost

It was my weekly food shopping day. Although I got replies from some of my friends about the pics that I had sent to them, saying I gained some weight, I couldn't help buying some of my favourite food when I saw them on the shelves at the supermarket, such as custard donut. I wanted long to buy cheese cake but I think I better wait until later, maybe on my birthday!? Doing food shopping often involves a psychological struggle between money, nutritions & flavour of the food, level of cooking difficulty and convenience. As a poor student, I have to consider whether the item is cheap enough while at the same time having a look at its nutrients - oh, no, it's got 50g per 100g of it - and also have to think about if it tastes good, how difficult it is to cook it and if it's time consuming. It sounds complicated, eh?  Shouldn't eating be something enjoyable and trouble-free? Why bother so much about this and that? Anyway, I still enjoyed my shopping trip as when I was carrying a few bags back home, I knew I could have big meals in the following week.

Oct 10, 2003 (Fri)

'The Importance of Living'

Not motivated to go out but staying at home all day long like a lonely old lady...

I read a bit of Lin Yu Tang's (林語堂) book and I love it after that. So here I (as lots of people do) highly recommend you to read his book 'The Importance of Living' (生命的藝術), which is in English.  When I was at secondary school, we studied an extract from this book for our Chinese Language subject. After 'x' years, I still remember the following sentences, which have become my favourite:

"He (Huang Shanku, a Sung poet) said, 'A scholar who hasn't read anything for three days feels that his talk has no flavour (becomes insipid), and his own face becomes hateful to look at (in the mirror)" (p.382)

More extracts from his book:

"We all agree that the busy self occupied in our daily activities is not quite the real self. We are quite sure we have lost something in the mere pursuit of living." (p.91)

"I think that, from a biological standpoint, human life almost reads like a poem. It has its own rhythm and beat, its internal cycles of growth and decay... one should be able to sense the beauty of this rhythm of life, to appreciate... (p.29)

"The first kind of false travel is travel to improve one's mind... I doubt very much whether one's mind can be so easily improved... if we are usually so serious as to be bent upon improving our minds, we should at least during a vacation let the mind lie fallow, and give it a holiday. This false idea of travel has given rise to the institution of tourist guides, the most intolerable chattering kind of interfering busybodies that I can imagine.." (p.333)

"The second kind of false travel is travel for conversation, in order that one may talk about it afterwards." (p.334)

"... the third type of false travellers, who travel by schedule, knowing beforehand exactly how many hours they are going to spend in Vienna or Budapest." (p.335)

"The true motive of travel should be travel to become lost and unknown. More poetically, we may describe it as travel to forget..." (p. 335) "I may suggest that there is a different kind of travel, travel to see nothing and to see nobody, but the squirrels and muskrats and woodchucks and clouds and trees." (p.337)

By the way, thanks to Laurel for recommending the book and many others to me!! :)

Oct 11, 2003 (Sat)

A chatting day

Although I have no classes to go to and every day of the year is a working day (but so far it seems every day is a holiday!), I still feel excited and happy when the weekend comes. Perhaps because I can have a legitimate reason for not going out - the offices are closed and the library is open for a shorter period of time.

I had my weekly shopping at a supermarket a couple of days ago, but I still went to the supermarket again with one of my flatmates as I had promised. I took this opportunity to do an exercise with my body by walking and with my mouth by talking with my flatmate, and also do a research on the weekend shopping at supermarket. There's really little entertainment or activities that I can afford to do here.

My guess was right. It was much more crowded and the stocks on the shelves were gone very quickly. Perhaps I should keep doing my food shopping on the weekdays? Looking at what my flatmate had bought, I started wondering if I had a big appetite.

After getting back home, I had a long chat with one of my best friend who called from HK for more than two hours. The Euro 2004 qualifier between Turkey and England? Forget it (in fact I couldn't watch or listen to its live broadcast through TV or radio). A knock on the door to my room? Forget it. Nothing important or special. Just a chat with an old friend.

As soon as I hang up the phone, I had another chat with my flatmate who had gone to the supermarket with me earlier today. Ha, maybe that's the day I spoke the most for the whole week!

Oct 12, 2003 (Sun)

The result of a 'military training'

It was the fourth time the fire alarm went off since I had moved in to my present residence. It happened in the evening (not midnight!). It was as if we all had received military training before because we went downstairs to the open area as soon as the fire alarm went off. When I heard the fire alarm, I put on the shoes and a jacket as quickly as I could without a second of hesitation. Maybe next time I can count the time that took me to go downstairs to see how quickly I'd respond to the fire alarm!

Oct 13, 2003 (Mon)

Mission accomplished!

I started my day by going to the department to make photocopies but the photocopier machine was out of order. I didn't know what was its problem nor could the staff from the English Department figure it out. The 'adding toner' sign was on (that staff, however, wasn't aware of it) but having dirtied my hands when changing the toner, I still couldn't get the photocopier work.

My initial plan for the morning was a bit affected. Initially planning to spend around an hour on photocopying, instead I stayed a bit longer than originally planned at the library to search for books. I borrowed five books from the library, which made me feel like getting some sort of souvenirs (at least I got something by going out!). My plan to go to the administration office of my residence was again affected as I didn't know the office was closed on Monday morning until I got there. So, I tried to get another 'souvenir' by paying my first visit to the laundry. I happened to meet one of my flatmates when I was planning to head for the city centre. I took her to the laundry and saw how she had her washing done.

My next stop was the Chinese community centre at the China Town. After handing in a volunteer form to the staff of the centre, I had a short trip to the city centre without any intention of (and spare money for) buying things. Just wanted to update myself with what was going on (e.g. the X'mas cards and 2004 calendars were already available) and the price of items in another supermarket. When I looked at my watch, hey, it was time to eat! So, I headed back home and met a classmate of my MA course, who's now also my PhD classmate (under different supervisors). If he hadn't stopped me by standing in my way, I would have walked quickly back home.

My cooking started at 1p.m. I seldom ate noodles in Hong Kong but to be honest, everything could be delicious here and today's lunch was noodles with mushroom + mince turkey + broccoli. Suddenly a group of people came into the kitchen while I was concentrating on my cooking. But obviously they were not interested in my noodles and turned their attention to a discussion for their studies with one of my flatmates. So I went back to my room to enjoy my lunch...

When I went downstairs to the administration office for the third time in the same day, it was still closed although it was supposed to be open from 1p.m. I seemed to get used to that and waited along with other people until a woman in the window started working.

Not a bad day. It sounded I had done a lot today!

Oct 14, 2003 (Tue)

A good presentation

Got a call from mom telling me my Uncle WOULD NOT be coming to Manchester next week but would only stay in London and Birmingham then. I checked the coach tickets on the Internet and found a 2-pound return ticket was available... wow, can't believe it!!

I attended the departmental seminar this afternoon. The room was full of people, many of whom I did not know and I guess they may be MA or PhD students. The presentation sounded interesting and I was then thinking, "Can I do a good presentation like him with fluent English?" Can't imagine what my presentation in my group's weekly seminar would be like some weeks later...

Oct 15, 2003 (Wed)

What should be a linguist like?

The most horrible thing that I hadn't thought would happen happened to me early this morning. The above diary that you may have read had to be rewritten (relying on my memory) after my computer had done the most cruel thing to me by leaving no trace of what I had written which I forgot to save!! You know what, last night I was still thinking I wouldn't be so 'lucky' to have this kind of thing happen to me - because my computer had been functioning well - but IT DID HAPPEN early this morning after I had stayed almost overnight to write and type them!! Why would it be me?? 

Another student of my supervisor made her presentation today. Both she and the presenter of the departmental seminar yesterday went to a less developed country/city to collect data about a language that does not have as many native speakers as those 'big' languages like English, French and Chinese do. I'm always interested to know how they collect the language data and I wish I could travel somewhere to collect the data about an unexplored language. Is that's what a linguist is supposed to do?

It's really getting chilly these days...

Oct 17, 2003 (Fri)

Am I leading the life as a housewife?

Got a chance to talk to one of my friends on the phone from HK. I was described as leading a kind of life like a full-time housewife.  Hang my clothes up in my room, which I had washed in the laundry in the morning. 

Oct 18, 2003 (Sat)

The jeans and the clothes that I had hang up in my room dried up very quickly, within a day, thanks to the heater. So there was no need for me to use the dryer, which could cost me a lot.

Really felt exhausted after writing so much for my homepage in a few days!

My residence:

The Corridor and my room (left)	The entrance to my building
Outside of the window of my room	My room (The second column of windows from the left, the second window from the top)

Oct 19, 2003 (Sun)

Finally I got my homepage updated. It was such an exhausting task, both physically and mentally, that I didn't want to read my homepage and work on it for a period of time. It was like, when you ate so much of the same food, you didn't want to eat it any more, at least for a period of time.

Got a phone call from mom. What a coincidence that I had been thinking of giving her a call today. Missed home so much. But when I got her call, I had nothing to say.

Visited a former flatmate with whom we had shared a flat in the university accommodation during my MA study two years ago. Our appearance may not have changed but the kind of life we are leading has been totally different before. She was now a mother of a 12-week old boy, busy taking care of him (I really think it was a daunting task), while I was studying in a different mode from the one I had had for my MA. I told her her boy was really cute (babies always look cute) and at that moment I thought it'd be nice to have a baby, not considering how hard it was to bring up a child.  But I had no intention of getting married or having a baby; after all, it was a decision that would determine what the rest of your life would be like.

One thing that I noted when I was in my former flatmate's home was the languages that the baby's parents spoke to him. There were numerous studies on the role of the input and other factors in a child's language acquisition. The baby's parents didn't speak English but their first languages (Norway and Arabic) instead, although the baby might be at the same time brought up in an English language environment as he was living in an English-speaking country. It'd be interesting to see the language development of the baby.

It was the first time I went to my former flatmate's new home. It was a nice flat in a newly built residence site with a high level of security system. When I entered the residence, I found it quite familiar; it looked a bit similar to some apartments in HK.  It was modern, clean, new...

Oct 20, 2003 (Mon)

A cleaner put a box of chocolate on the table of the kitchen in the early morning, for thanking us for keeping our place clean, although I didn't consider our flat very clean.  Anyway, got a few from the box but found them too sweet... I was wondering if I had eaten too much sweet.  Let me see, my breakfast - muesli (with sugar), my snack - biscuit, my drink - Horlick, all were sweet... hope that my teeth would be fine!

Didn't feel like sitting at the computer today. Maybe getting fed up with net surfing? Or, was I started feeling more interested in my reading? Not sure. Not even feel like checking and writing email nor sending messages to anyone.

Went to the tourist information centre today. Not much travel information available. They were 2003 brochures but 2004 was coming soon. Better check it out again in early 2004, perhaps.

Started listening to the radio. This reminded me of the days I spent in Salford when the only entertainment I had in my room then was listening to the radio day and night. Sometimes wondered if it'd be better if I hadn't got my computer and Internet access in my bedroom, which distracted my attention away from my study and a chance to learn English through radio and newspaper (I used to buy the newspaper and read it through then). There are pros and cons in many things.

Oct 21, 2003 (Tue)

Has the winter come? I don't know. It was freezing outside but it was still October, two months before Christmas! The weather changed from good to worse; first it was sunny and then when I was going home from the university it started raining. Luckily it took me around 10 minutes to get back home (since I tried to walk as fast as I could) or I'd be frozen!

Still trying to concentrate on my reading throughout the day (since I had to return a book that I had borrowed from my supervisor tomorrow). I still fell asleep when reading the book but things were getting better as the frequency that I fell asleep was reducing...

Got a phone call from my uncle who's arrived in London on his business trip. It was decided I'd meet him in the NEC of Birmingham on Thursday afternoon, mainly to collect the stuff that he had brought for me. I had struggled with the decision to meet him or not but in the end I thought it may be a good idea to go for a short trip, however far I'd go. I don't want to stay at home all day long... Wanna breathe in some fresh air and see the 'outer world'!  I tried to find some information about the places to go in Birmingham but found nothing special or those tourist attractions like the Cadbury World required entrance fees - around 7 pounds for students! Maybe I save 7 pounds for buying chocolate here...

Attended a boring talk this afternoon. But got a chance to talk with one of my few classmates (sometimes I feel I myself was poor as I seem not to have many classmates). Also talked with one of my flatmates too.

Oct 22, 2003 (Wed)

These few days when I got up and wanted to take a shower, usually someone would do it just A MINUTE before me!!

The seminar that I attended today was horrible - 'horrible' because 1) I got lost in the very beginning of the presentation by one of our classmates, who talked about a language that I hadn't heard of and there were very few examples given, which didn't help my understanding of her presentation at all. 2) I was dumb in the session after the presentation.  Our supervisor might start feeling a bit impatient (?) about our response to the presentations. No comment or question was given by us and we could leave the room without saying a word on the presentation! So, questions were asked but, although I understood a bit of what he was asking, I still couldn't follow much of what had been discussed... Sandy, do you know what you've been doing here?  Wake up!!

Oct 23, 2003 (Thur)

Long coach trip to Birmingham but short meeting with uncle

Got up very early this morning. Started my day with a trip to the supermarket. Unsurprisingly, it was less crowded than when I had done my shopping at noon last time. It was in fact a new discovery since with fewer people, some foodstuff in high demand wasn't gone so quickly. I didn't spend time checking each item, whether I'd buy them or not, as I had to go back home asap.

A flatmate of mine who met me in the kitchen when I got back home with my weekly 'victory' items from the supermarket felt surprised to see I had done my shopping so early. Yeah, I myself was also surprised at my efficiency!

The coach for Birmingham from Manchester set off at 10:10a.m. It was the first time I went to the new coach station, which was clean and modern. There weren't many passengers on the coach. It was a sunny day and I chose a wrong seat which faced the sunshine... More and more people got onto the coach... finally we arrived at Birmingham at 1:35p.m. half an hour later than as scheduled. As a result, I was late for my meeting with my uncle, who had come to the UK on his business trip. It took me half an hour to get to the NEC (National Exhibition Centre) of Birmingham and I found no trace of my uncle when I got to the 'main entrance' to the venue. I waited and waited, hoping that my uncle would show up. But disappointedly, he didn't and I decided to give him a call but no one answered the phone. So I left a message and waited again. Everyone walked past me looked like my uncle... in fact I was wondering if I could recognize my uncle since I didn't meet him for a long time and you know, men could have a big change in their size...

As time passed, I started feeling anxious since I had to take the coach back to Manchester at 5:30p.m. So I called him again and finally could reach him via his mobile. We had a short meeting, for about 10 minutes, and I had to leave to get back to the city centre by bus... It took me 3 hours to get back to Manchester and I was totally exhausted when getting back home, although I didn't walk around in Birmingham. But imagine, nearly 7 hours on the coach and one hour to and from the NEC of Birmingham could be so tiring, plus one and half an hour on waiting for my uncle.

There weren't only bad things taken from this short trip to Birmingham. At least I got my minna no tabo toy, some notes, spare paper and a pack of snack that my mom had bought for me. Looking at the bag, I felt some warmth, however tiring the trip was. :P In fact I shouldn't complain. After all, I spent no more than 7 pounds on the trip, including a two-pound return ticket to and from Birmingham, even cheaper than a day ticket for travelling by bus in Birmingham!

Oct 24, 2003 (Fri)

A party for a special person

It was almost noon when I got up. Still felt tired after travelling by coach for 7 hours yesterday. That was the price for a 2-pound coach return ticket. Wanna sleep all the time. Should I still go for a party tonight? I had no choice as I had had promised to go.

But the process was not smooth and I'd even call it tough. I took a bus with my classmate and there was little problem as we got off the bus at a right stop except for the fact that we had to wait long for the bus. I didn't know the bus could be full of people in the evening. Maybe because it was Friday? A problem arose after we had got off the bus. We couldn't locate our supervisor's house where the party was being held. We got lost!!

We kept asking people for directions and we got different answers each time. It was a cold, dark (no streetlights around) evening for a girl who was starving and soon to be frozen. Should we give up? No way... I paid 1.25 pounds to get here and I had already spent more than half an hour searching for the house and I didn't want to give up at this moment although I was so cold that I couldn't speak my English clearly and my stomach kept having a concert. But I believed we'd find the place... and we did make it in the end.

I was so hungry that the first thing that I wanted to do once I got into our supervisor's house was looking for food. It was a party organized by our supervisor. Most of the people there were his friends and I only knew my classmates who had already arrived much earlier than us. I didn't know it was our supervisor's birthday until I got there! Oh... the food was really nice and our supervisor made a good choice - some salad, prawns, salmon and bread (wow, that's what a breadlover like me wanted!)... something simple, light but tasty. I'd prefer these sorts of food to those pastries, sausage rolls and pizzas that are typically found in the parties (e.g. held in the university). I couldn't believe our supervisor could be a good cook.

We mainly chatted besides eating. I felt like I was contributing nothing as all I did was eating and chatting. Only chatted with my classmates whom I was familiar with. It was also a chance for me to get to know what a professor's house was like, and how cute his son was like.

Going back home after the party wasn't fun either. We missed the last bus which could take us back to the university. So we gotta wait for another bus which would stop near the campus. The temperature was 3 degree Celsius only and some smoke-like air came out of our mouths when we talked. One minute gone, another minute gone... finally I was back home at midnight and could go to bed...

Oct 25, 2003 (Sat)

Weekly chatting day

It seems Saturday is the day of the week when I spoke a lot of Cantonese. Not with the people around here, but friends or family from afar (Hong Kong).

Made a call for the first time to my mom and dad. Planned to do it in the public phone as it might save some money but it was raining for the whole day and it seemed whenever I tried to go out, it rained again (or more heavily). So, I had to make the call from my room telephone. Dad sounded cheerful while mom obviously had fallen asleep (on the sofa, as usual). It was strange that I got nothing to say to mom besides telling her something about my trip to Birmingham to meet my uncle. She didn't have anything special to say to me. The conversation lasted for no more than 5 minutes as mom wanted to end it asap, perhaps so as not to cost me much money to make the call.

Then got another chance to speak Cantonese when talking for long with a friend of mine. Sometimes I felt like I wasn't living in an English-speaking country since I tended to speak Cantonese more than English... poor! And listening to an interview that I previously had for my job made me feel how terrible my oral English was - lots of pauses, broken sentences, no fluency at all... I better think seriously about how to improve my oral English!! Maybe watching TV? Found that 'Friends' were shown on TV this morning...

Oct 26, 2003 (Sun)

'Ma Po Tofu' + Strangers = Today

Got up again late this morning. It might not matter as it was Sunday but I got lots of work to do and couldn't afford to lose my time...

Tried cooking 'ma bo tofu' at lunchtime. Don't know how to describe its taste - it's sooooooooooooooooo delicious! Thanks to the sauce that I had brought with me from Hong Kong or I wouldn't have had tasty lunch today. After all, Chinese food is more delicious and suitable for such cold weather (not like sandwiches which are often cold served).

There seemed to be lots of strangers around in the flat. They were friends of my flatmates. Perhaps because it was Sunday.

Oct 27, 2003 (Mon)

Good presentation

As the day of my first presentation was approaching (only five weeks to go), I attended a short day course on presentation this afternoon.  It seemed I hadn't been to any formal class for a while, especially since I have the time at my disposal in my study. There were only seven students in the class. We were divided into two groups for activities, which were about trying to do a presentation within our own group and give feedback to the others. It was fun really coz it wasn't a formal presentation at all while you could see how the others did their own presentations. It was also a chance for me to practise my oral English while trying to hearing the English of others with accents since all of us were international students speaking English as a second language. The teacher was from Scotland, as she told us, but her English was clear and pleasant to hear. And she was patient and 'professional', which you can tell by the way she presented the ideas. She's a kind of persons that I want to be like - smart, professional, experienced, patient, friendly... I enjoyed the class and got to learn something about presenting to academic audience - presentation does need a lot of practice, however many ideas you've got in your mind and practice makes perfect...

Oct 28, 2003 (Tue)

Gone crazy

Being a full-time student with a part-time job isn't easy. I've been working on a project on a part-time basis over the last few days and I'm afraid I'll soon get crazy as I've been tortured by the transcription. I kept taking a break and surfing the net in the process. And I made a very big mistake today when I was fully occupied by my work - I mistakenly forwarded a personal email sent by a friend of mine to some of my other friends. Although my friend didn't scold me, I still felt very sorry and guilty as if I had committed a serious crime. My work really drives me crazy and I'm wondering if I know what I've been doing!

Oct 29, 2003 (Wed)

Still crazy

Continued being frustrated by my work. Very tired. The sleeping bags under my eyes are growing bigger and my eyes are having some red veins, which shows how insufficient sleep I've got over the last couple of days. A flatmate of mine said she hadn't seen me in the flat for a long time and was wondering if I had been being busy with my study. It's really not me! Finally finished the task and I'm looking forward to going out again tomorrow morning...

Glad to go out again, after locking myself in my room for the last two days. I tried a new route to the supermarket, as introduced by my flatmates. The weather was a bit better than the previous days. It was still cold but I felt good, perhaps because I've finished a task for my work supervisor. There were more and more customers in the supermarket as the noon was approaching, The foodstuff for X'mas were already put on the shelves and some pumpkins could be found because of the Halloween.

Having the same kind of dreams again - I took a flight back to HK for holiday from my study and it turned out that I was too late for the plane. I don't know if it meant anything to me. Is it a reflection of my desire to go back to HK? The fact that I miss my family? Or, does it show I'm under pressure (coz I was always late for the plane in the dreams)? I have that kind of dreams for at least 5 times already. Really don't know why...

Talked with a flatmate about the fact that we gained some weight since we came here, as she and I like to eat chocolate-related food. Perhaps because of the pressure we're having now?

This page  was last updated on Sunday, 02 November 2003.

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