JAWOHL!

I THOUGHT I NEVER GET OUT. THE PAST LIFE MEMORIES OF MILITARY EXECUTIONS CAME BACK!

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Being haunted by the military executions in Past live? Don't be stupid! I wouldn't have dared coming up with such an idea to stay out of the army! In a country like Austria? They would have laughed at me and said that some had better tricks to stay out of the army.

One thing was sure, to be unfit for the army you had to be in such a bad shape, you were already sentenced to death by your disease. You had to be very sick, but there was one exception: Some recruits, who could not handle the environment would develop a skin disease. The army realized that and let them go as unfit. The catch was that one had to develop the physical disease. If one found it too unbearable and did not get this problem, then there was no evidence of a psychological difficulty. I don't think I would have lasted long in a real war. I would have had a nervous breakdown. In a real war situation I could not have been any help to the country's defence.

At last, early 1973 I got the call up order. My service started in June 1973. The army barrack was true jail, with barb wire on the wall and we were locked in, normally not allowed to go out. At that time they always had typhoid fewer in this barrack at Stockerau.

The first day we had nothing to eat, because the food was not trust worthy. It wasn't worth eating any way. I could hardly ever make out what the food was. I can only describe it as "solid oil in liquid oil". You wouldn't feed pigs with food like that. But that was certainly not my problem. My problem was being there. It was not an environment I belonged to and it was like being raped. You may just as well conscript young 18 year old women into prison and force them to have sex with prisoners. And if they refuse treat them like a criminal and throw them into jail. After all if a prostitute can do it - every woman can do it. And if a men can be a soldier or a murderer - every man can! To me the army was rape. It was rape, rape, rape! And someone is responsible. Someone who has never had to pay the price for this crime!

This picture was taken six months after my release from the army. It was my last month in Austria. I am in the centre with the blue jacket. I do not have many pictures from that time left, so I just have to use what I have.

We were locked up like we were prisoners. At nine o'clock we had to be in bed and we were not even allowed to the toilet! If we had dared - well there was punishment around the corner. In the morning, waking up was like the beginning of a night mare. It was not the physical work. It was the never ending psychological pressure of fear through intimidation and punishment. Volunteers for punishment! Was the order given to us. As nobody wanted to be punished, they would search for something until they had recruits they can to punish. Punishment, punishment.....punishment - non stop. This thought would only stop during sleep. Punishment could have been a prison sentence in the army that the recruit has to serve in addition to his basic military service. One more thing I have to say here is, that it did not matter how well one behaved in the army. It was simply impossible not to get punished.

One day, when we did Troup exercises at night, in the darkness a piece of my gun fell off, without me realizing it. It wouldn't have happened if I had been trained on the gun at that point of time. I was very careful not to touch anything until I know this instrument of death better. I was sent to Rapport. Shall the Oberleutnant decide what we will do with you. We will do something to you! We will hurt you! I then also realized that my body did not belong to me. My body, my feelings, my thoughts my soul belonged to the army. It was a prison from within and outside.

We learnt very little there. The only thing we learnt there was "how to fear authority more than death!" We all had a little spade on our rucksack and we were always digging wholes. If there had been a real war, we would have been too tired to fight. One day, the company commander offered the first person who was finished digging his whole a weekend off, meaning he can go home. That guy was digging a whole beside me. He lay unconscious beside his finished whole. I then carried him with some other soldier underneath some shaded tree. The commander of the company said that in the army this is normal. He would have let him die there. Eventually they let someone jump up and down through intimidation that he really died. Love your Austria! You see the fear of death is not as bad as the fear of authority.

I also lost my right hearing when I was there. It happened in Bruck an der Leitha, during a troop training time. I was with a regiment (Landwehr Regiment 101) which supplied the army reserve troops with equipment and guns. During a shooting exercise, I was the writer who wrote down the results of the scores. I had to listen very carefully as one missing piece of data would have caused all the results being wrong. I was unable to hear for a couple of hours and my right ear never recovered. There is a bit more to this story, but on the internet I want to keep it short. It is always ringing. Even after so many years and I am partially deaf on it.

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