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| How to Identify a Redneck |
| There are a few tricks to identifying a redneck, but by following these simple steps, you will become an expert redneck spotter. Follow the simple flow chart below to find out if you have a genuine redneck, or one of the many spin offs of the good ole' redneck. |
| Does the lad have tight jeans? |
| YES-Next step. |
| Flanalette shirt/overalls? |
| YES- Getting close... |
| Collar on shirt turned up? |
| YES- Damn, you can almost smell the gum leaves..... |
| Overly large cowboy hat present on head? |
| YES- Move along ya'll here... |
| Boots outside jeans? |
| NO- hyuk, hyuk... |
| How about a glazed over look in the eye? |
| HOT DAMN! You got yourself a 100%, fair dinkum, ute lovin' wife beatin' redneck. Now you may:- 1) Yell abuse at the subject, 2) Run up, and beat the crap out of them. |
| No- not a redneck. |
| No- not a redneck. |
| No- not a redneck. |
| No- not a redneck. |
| YES- Not a redneck. What you have here is a goat rooter, a common spin off of a redneck. |
| NO- not a redneck. Possibly a try hard, or one that has had an operation to remove the look.... |
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| Back to the farm... |