But one day, I received a phone call from my parents. They wanted to know how I was doing. John wasn’t at home, as usual, so I was more to speak my mind.

• "Hi, dear, how are you?", that was my mum. Up to that point I had never realised how much I had missed them.
• "Fine, you?"
• "Oh, well. We’ve heard about the Beatles movie, dear. People here don’t believe your dad and me when we tell them you’re dating one of those mop-tops".
• "So, don’t tell them, mum", I really didn’t want anybody to know. It was bad enough here in England to boost the fame in Spain too.
• "Alright, how are your classes going?", I gasped. I could have lied to her and told her everything was fine, but I’d rather tell them the truth. Now John was doing well and I could always do the same course next year.
• "Look, mum, I’m not going to classes any more".
• "WHAT??!!", I knew she was going to react like that, she didn’t even let me finish.
• "No, mum, because I missed so many classes when I lost my baby that it’s impossible to catch up now".
• "Your dad won’t like to hear that".
• "It’s OK, mum. I can do other things, in fact I’m thinking about taking my driving licence...", that was true. John didn’t have it either, but the four Beatles had a chauffeur that took them everywhere they wanted. I had to take the bus or the tube if I wanted to go even to Eli’s.
• "That’s alright but hon. you have to study. After all, it’s only two years what you have to do at university", I didn’t feel like going on. They weren’t here and so they didn’t know how difficult things were sometimes. I was about to hang up when she told me: "Oh, by the way! Charles is thinking of going to England this summer. He doesn’t want to be a disturbance for you, but anyway, we’ll be very glad if you could put him up".
• "Of course, mum!", I almost shouted. "John and I will be very pleased to have Charles with us. But we’ll let you know, mam, because John is thinking of buying a new house...", which was true but never seemed to become a reality.
• "Alright, then. Take care, dear, and please, don’t disappoint your dad dropping out of school. Try to go and finish your studies", I didn’t feel like argue so I just agreed and hang up.

At the end of the month, when the Beatles were still filming, John asked me to go with him to a literary luncheon he had where he had to present his book. I was very glad to go with him at first, because I thought Eli would be there too. But my first disappointment came when I realised the rest of the Beatles weren’t attending the luncheon. When I phoned Eli to ask her if she knew why the Beatles had refused, she only shrugged and said she the only thing she knew was that the Beatles had some kind of party that night. So I went alone with John.

Well, I thought I would be with John, but the table was big. John was in the middle with Osbert Lancaster and Lionel Bart and I was sitting very far away from John, surrounded by people I didn’t know. Being as shy as can be, I never felt comfortable surrounded by people I didn’t know. I thought that was going to be a long and boring night when one of the girls in front of me introduced herself as Mary Quant. She was very nice, not pretty in that sense of the word, but nice, with nice features, and especially she was very outgoing. She talked to me in a way that made me feel quite at home. She also introduced me to the people around me and finally, in the end, the night was not that bad.

John, on the contrary, was having a great time. It seemed that he laughed a lot with that Lionel Bart. Well, I was happy for him but when we got home, I told John in the same why I told them I’d never go on tour with them again that I’d never go to an event like that if the rest of the Beatles girls were not going.

• "You’re always behaving like a little child", he scolded me. That hurt. "It’s alright by me, you know. I thought you might like being with me. But you can stay at home next time", and with that he left me standing there, sobbing like mad and wishing I had left my mouth shut.

Thankfully, our rows those days didn’t last long. When John came home after filming again that night, we made it up. John took me in his arms and kissed me and rocked me as if I were a little child. He said he was sorry thousands of times while he kissed me in my ears and so everything was like before.

I tried to do something productive and went to take my driving licence. John had told me I didn’t need it, that we would have a chauffeur of our own, but I wanted to drive my own car and so disobeying him, I went to a driving school.

At the same time I tried to go to University so that I wouldn’t disappoint my dad but sometimes it was impossible to do both. The exams were coming and I hadn’t done anything in the whole year, so it was fool of me to try to take advantage of my free time now.

And, of course, I kept regular contact with Edu, but it was always the same, she couldn’t come back, not now, and I kept on telling her George was every time more and more serious with Pattie.

And then, suddenly (well, I thought it was suddenly but it should have been a progressive thing) I started to notice Eli’s attitude different towards me. She stopped coming to Emperor’s Gate and it was always me who phoned her to either go to her place or to ask her if we could go out to have dinner. She kept refusing and when Paul, John and we girls went out together, she hardly said a word to me nor to Paul and she would only speak to John.

That I found strange, so one day I decided to clear up things. My best friend had gone to Spain, and I didn’t want to lose the other friend I had here in England. I thought about whether I had done something wrong but I couldn’t come up with anything. So one day I took the tube and went to Candem Town where she was still living. I was lucky to find her at home, although she didn’t receive me with her best smile. She was waiting for me with the door open when I went up the few steps to her front door. I smiled at her but she didn’t smile back.

• "Hi, Eli!"
• "Oh, hi", well, she wasn’t very enthusiastic.
• "Can I talk to you for a moment?", I had done all the way from Kensigton and I wouldn’t come back empty-handed.
• "Look, I’m very busy... I’m writing some papers for University and..."
• "Oh, it’ll only be ten minutes", I lied. That needed discussing long.

She finally gave in and made room with the door for me to enter. There was a bit of tension in the air, I could notice it and that was strange because we were great friends. She sat on the sofa and I sat in one of the armchairs opposite. She didn’t offer me anything to drink. There was this awkward silence where nobody said a word. Then she finally said:

• "Well? I’ve got lots of things to do", I felt uncomfortable. The truth was that I didn’t know how to start. What was the reason I was there for? Because I thought she was behaving strangely? Well, maybe that was only a product of my imagination. "Look, Vicky. I’ve no time to lose", she said getting up so, panicking, I just blurted out.
• "Are you angry at me?", I observed her closely to see if her expression changed in any way. It didn’t. She turned around and started looking out of the window. "Eli..."
• "Why didn’t you tell me?"; she said. I didn’t know what she was talking about. I was so concentrated on her that I was completely lost.
• "What do you mean?", still she didn’t turn to look at me.
• "Why didn’t you tell me Paul had cheated me in America? I considered you my friend." I gulped because then everything came to me. And she was right, I was her friend so I was supposed to tell her everything. Internally I cursed John for insisting on telling her personally.
• "John didn’t want me to", I said. Although I didn’t sound very convenient, that was the truth. "He made me promise there in America that I wouldn’t tell you anything. He wanted to be the one to tell you", now that I was uttering it into words, I couldn’t think why John was so persistent on telling her. He was sometimes a bit too much nice with my friends. Eli finally turned around to look at me.
• "Well, it hurt, you know. John was very nice, and very delicate. ‘Paul is not a saint’, he told me but still it hurt. I love Paul madly", I gulped again.
• "And he loves you too... Does Paul know you know?"
• "No! And he won’t ever know. Please, don’t tell him... I told you on the phone, remember? I don’t want him to know...", then I remembered she had phoned me quite upset that day I was with Paul.
• "I won’t, but Eli... Are you still angry at me?", she shook her head tiredly.
• "Look, Vicky, friends should be there trough thick and thin", I felt guilty because she was absolutely right. I should have never let John tell her. It should have been me. Never again would that happen.
• "OK, Eli. Forgive me. It won’t happen again.", we both hugged each other and I suddenly felt an urgent need of going home and tell John about it.

So I did. I took the tube back to Emperor’s Gate and waited for John to come home. As usual, he came quite late at night, but this time, unlike other times, I waited for him wide awake in the living-room. He came alone and thankfully, because otherwise it would have been quite difficult to reason with him, he wasn’t drunk.

When he entered the living-room and he saw me, he directed me one of his lovely smiles and I was about to forget everything and throw at his arms to make love to him. But I didn’t do any of those things. I just smiled back at him and waited for him to come and sit by me.

He came and kissed me on the top of my head.

• "I’m glad yer up, luv", he told me, "’cos I’ve got something to tell ya". I examined his face closely to see if it was good or bad what he had to tell me. But John was happy, so it was good.
• "I’ve also got something to tell you", but as soon as I had said it, I regretted it because John was happy and it would be very unkind of me to want to spoil his day. Well, I would make up something so I told him. "You first", he sat down by me.
• "Luv, we’re finishing the film in a couple of days and we’re having two weeks off to go on holidays. I’ve thought we could go somewhere...", he kissed my cheek, "...where you could finish what you didn’t in Miami". Mmmm!! I must admit it sounded really good. I had almost dropped out completely from University and the driving licence could always wait till we came back. I smiled at John and kissed him.
• "Oh, John, that would be great!", I said enthusiastically. Then, like foreseeing what was to happen next, I asked him: "You and me alone?", then his expression changed and he looked uneasy. He looked away at some point behind me and passed his hand throughout his hair.
• "No...", he muttered. He said it so low that I had to make a great effort to hear it properly. "George and Pattie are coming with us", then I lost my temper. It was only a couple of seconds, but I got up from the sofa in a sudden jump and shouted:
• "No! No, John no! I’m not going anywhere with Pattie, I told you before!", I was so angry and nervous that I didn’t know where I was. John got up from the sofa too.
• "Stop that bloody shit, Vicky! Behave like a grown-up for once! You’re always making scenes and I’m fed up with that! Pattie is coming whether you want it or not!", that hurt a lot. I had my eyes full of tears. I had never seen John like that, telling me all those awful things. I felt so much pain inside that I was sure I wouldn’t be able to talk without breaking down. And that was exactly what happened.
• "Then I’m not going", I said, crying. I went towards the bedroom, the bedroom John and I shared. But I suddenly felt I didn’t belong to that place anymore. John was in favour of that Pattie instead of me. Full of fury, I opened the wardrobe, took out my suitcase and started throwing pieces of clothes in it. John had come after me and saw me:
• "What the ‘ell are ya doin’?", I didn’t answer. Didn’t it speak for itself? I was packing to leave. I was fed up with that situation, John preferred Pattie, so I’d better leave the cost clear. I kept on throwing clothes in the suitcase. John grabbed my arm heavily and made me turn around to face him:
• "Tell me! What the bloody ‘ell ya think yer doin’?", I was trying to hold back my tears, unsuccessfully, but yes, I was trying. My next words came out from me as thought I hadn’t uttered them, as thought they belonged to a different person:
• "I’m going home, John. At least for a while. Too many things have happened to me and I need a little rest", John was looking at me as thought he didn’t know me. He laughed:
• "What? Now! You’re leaving me now that I’ve got everything I’ve always wished", John’s pressure on my arm was becoming weaker and weaker. His eyes were full of pain.
• "I’m not leaving you, John", I said, sobbing, "I’m just disappearing for a while... I need to rest and think, but this is not forever", I didn’t know what I was saying. I was leaving one of the guys who, only with a whistle, could have thousands of women in his bed. "I’ll come back".
• "Bloody ‘ell, Vicky! You must be out of yer senses!", said John.
• "No, John! You keep on putting Pattie before me. You know I don’t want to be with her because every time I see her I see Edu. And I told you when we went to Ireland. Now you’re back to the old line. I’m sorry but I’m going home", now John took both my arms. He looked at me deeply in the eyes.
• "You know that’s not true. You know I love you madly and I want to be with you", then he got rid of me. His strong Scouse accent had suddenly disappeared. "But maybe you’re right. A little rest from each other will do us good", that took me by surprise and hurt me because I had hopped John would fight a little more. He had given up too soon. "I’ll phone you up at the end of my holidays to see how you’re doing and to see if we can work it out". My heart was as small then as can be. Up to that moment I hadn’t realised John and I were actually breaking up. We were leaving each other. I saw him come out of the room. I broke down completely and cried like mad.

I didn’t even want to spend the night at home so I went back to Eli’s, who got the shock of her life when she saw me turning up at the door with a suitcase and in tears.

• "Vicky! Hell, what’s going on?", I was standing at the top of the stairs.
• "Can I go in?", I sobbed. She didn’t answer, she just made room for me to pass and I went to the living room where I saw Paul sitting on the sofa. I stopped short because I hadn’t thought that he might have been there. I didn’t really feel in the mood of telling him anything. But when he saw me, he came to me and said:
• "Hey, luv! What’s going on?", the way Paul had asked me and the state I was in made me cry all the more.
• "I’m coming back to Spain".
• "What?", the same reaction I got from John. Eli was as shocked as could be.
• "Vicky, are you sure? What happened?", well, although Paul was there too I told them everything. Paul was smoking incessantly and I could see he was feeling uncomfortable.
• "Well, you can come with us if you want", Paul told me. Eli looked at him in amazement and I did too. "Well? That’s not a crazy idea, is it?"
• "But Paul, there’re two couples we’re going, she couldn’t come...", I didn’t let her finish. I knew what she was up to. Just a few hours ago we had been arguing and anyway I wouldn’t feel comfortable either if John and I were going somewhere and an intrude wanted to come with us.
• "It’s alright. I’ve made up my mind. I want to see my family and I also want to see Edu, anyway", Eli’s face showed relief, Paul’s didn’t.
• "Well, and when do you plan to go?", asked Paul. I shrugged.
• "As soon as possible, on the next plane. I know it’s quite difficult but I think Brian can help me. After all, he could get plane tickets for me in America", now that I was ready to go, Eli seemed more relaxed and I didn’t know, maybe she was in a hurry to see me disappear because she said:
• "That’s true, Paul. OK; help her contact Brian. We’ll be here till then waiting for news", Paul looked at me (well, he hadn’t stopped doing so ever since I had walked in) then at Eli and taking the last drag of his cigarette, he got up.
• "Alright, I know where I can find Brian. Wait here, it won’t take me long", he took his jacket and put it on. He went to kiss Eli (and he again looked at me while he was doing so) and went out.

It was very late at night and I was really tired. Eli turned on the TV and we both sat on the sofa to watch it but I soon fell loudly asleep. I don’t even know if Eli fell asleep too but when I woke up because I heard the doorbell, Eli was still sat by my side. I saw her getting up to open the door.

A few seconds later, Paul and Brian came in. I couldn’t imagine where Brian could come from but he was so nice dressed and even made-up that he would probably come from a night club.

• "Hi, ladies!", that was to both of us. Then he looked at me directly. "Well, problems with John, I guess, Vicky", I didn’t say anything I just nodded. He came to the sofa but sat in one of the armchairs. Paul sat on the arm of the sofa near Eli. I looked at Brian questioning him with the eyes. "Look, Vicky, John is not an easy person, you should know that by now".
• "Go on, Brian!", Paul butted in. "It’s not your bloody shit she needs". Brian looked at Paul, hurt.
• "Well, he and George are going on holidays, and Paul and Ringo are going too", well, Brian was beating around the bush a bit too much for my tastes. Paul’s patience was ending and Brian looked a bit uneasy. "Alright. Tomorrow morning I’ll do a few calls and you’ll be flying on the next plane. Where are you spending the night?", I looked at Edu. Obviously I hadn’t’ counted on that. With all the excitement of the row John and I had had, the only thing I thought was to run away from him. But now, that was a problem. Probably, Paul and Eli had decided to spend the night together. Eli didn’t say a word, obviously not encouraging me to stay. But Paul spoke up:
• "I can put her up in my hotel if she doesn’t want to spend the night here", well, that was not what I wanted but if I had no other choice...
• "Well, the thing is", Brian said, "that I need to know as soon as possible where she’s staying because I have to tell her about the tickets".
• "Alright, Brian", said Paul, "she’ll be in my hotel and I’ll stay here for the night", I thought I had even heard Eli cry for joy.
• "Good, then", said Brian getting up, "Good night", but before he could leave I stopped him.
• "Brian!", he turned around. "Thank you. Thank you very much for all you’re doing for me", he was serious and blurted out.
• "Not at all, Vicky. But bear this in mind. I’m also doing it for my boys", and with that he walked away. Paul accompanied him to the door and was back in a couple of seconds. He looked at Eli first, then at me:
• "Shall we go?", he asked me. Well, I could not do otherwise so I got up and went to Eli.
• "Eli, I hope you’ll forgive me some day", I told her. After all, she was the one staying with the Beatles. Edu and I would be soon gone of her life. She smiled at me.
• "You must be joking", she told me, "I know you’re not leaving for good. John loves you like mad. This is just a short holiday, I know", I wasn’t that convinced but anyway I must admit that hearing her words comforted me. We hugged each other and before breaking away from her hug, I whispered in her ear:
• "Please, watch out John", she was smiling when we broke apart. So I went to the door where Paul was already waiting for me. I just stepped out the door without turning around to see if Paul said goodbye to Eli.

A taxi was already waiting for us when we went out. I was glad it was not a limo. Although it was quite late at night, I wouldn’t have liked to be driven away like a famous person. I simply wasn’t in the mood.

When we arrived at the hotel, Paul came up with me until his room. He opened the door with his key and we both entered. It was a very big room, and it was full of papers with his and John’s handwriting, and there also was his bass. He closed the door behind him. I looked at him directly in the eye because that was supposed to be our farewell.

• "Well...", I started to say, but he came to me and put a finger on my lips.
• "Shhh", he whispered. "Don’t say a word. John is stupid. He doesn’t know what he’s losing", I was puzzled. Again that bravery in Paul. I couldn’t believe it! He came closer, approaching his lips to mine, and then he kissed me. But this time, I don’t know why, I didn’t feel scared or felt the need of rejecting him. This time, I liked the kiss ands kissed him back. Maybe now I understand I did it a little bit because unconsciously I wanted to punish John for wanting to go with that Pattie. So I kissed Paul passionately, putting my hands around his neck. That aroused him all the more, because furiously he pushed me onto the bed and started to kiss my neck. I liked that and I couldn’t avoid moaning every time his lips touched the bare skin of my neck. He then started to unlatch my trousers and pulled my sweater out. I could see he was blind and neither of us could stop and think about the aftermath of what we were doing. Paul and I were about to make love!! Oh God! Please, don’t let John know about this! Are you crazy, Vicky!?? Paul was now unlatching my bra and kissing my breasts madly, biting my nipples, making me moan with pleasure. he worked his way down to my stomach while he undressed himself. I admit I wasn’t thinking of anything else but to get my pleasure from Paul. When he was completely undressed, he just looked at me and kissing me passionately on the lips, he introduced his dick in me, grabbing my head heavily and pulling my hair. Every time he went in and out, he kissed my mouth keeping the rhythm. I scratched his back with my nails, making him moan with pleasure. We both came at the same time. Paul’s liquid filled in my vagina and I felt his fresh semen running freely inside me. He kissed me one more time, and rolled to lie on his back on the bed by my side. He was sweating, his mop-top all stuck to his face. "I’ve wanted to make this for so long", he muttered. He then turned to kiss me but the phone started ringing. It was then that I started to panic. I got up in a sudden jump sitting down in bed. What if it was John wanting to talk to Paul? Or Eli, thinking that Paul was getting a bit too late? I looked at Paul. He was obviously thinking the same because he was as white as a ghost.
• "Pick up the phone!", I shouted. The ringing noise was what made me nervous. He obeyed.
• "Hello...?", he said really softly. I observed him deeply and saw that his face relaxed. He looked at me almost smiling. "OK!", he out a hand on the phone. "It’s Brian!", I let a sigh of relief go. I picked up the phone.
• "Yes?", I observed as Paul got up and started getting dressed.
• "Vicky, there’s a flight direct to Spain tomorrow at 15.00 p.m. The tickets are there, at the airport, so you only have to say your name once you’re there", I kept on observing Paul, who was fully dressed by then.
• "Alright, Brian. Thank you very much".
• "You’re welcome, Vicky. Have a good flight and hope to see you soon", and with that he hang up. I put the receiver in its place and it was then, seeing Paul fully dressed and me naked in bed, when I started feeling embarrassed. I loved John, I was sure about that, and Eli loved Paul.
• "What have we done, Paul?", I asked Paul really worried. He also seemed to be embarrassed. He didn’t answer. "I’m glad I’m leaving", I then went on. "I need time to think", he nodded and without saying a word, he left.