• "Mornin’ dear? How are you?"

• "I spent the day with George yesterday, and I went to the concert at the Grafton Ballroom yesterday! Oh, Vicky, you should have come! It was fantastic! They’re great! They sang lovely songs, and George is... Oh, I’m in love with him!", I laughed. So soon? In love with him when she had only known him for two months now? Well, what was I saying? If I loved John madly and I knew him for just one more month.
• "I was too tired to go, but I’m certain to go to the Cavern today", Edu’s eyes brightened up.
• "Grrrreaaaattttt, Vicky, ‘cos I was going to go too!", we both screamed a little bit and started to think of the outfits we were going to wear. "What shall we wear, Vicky? Something smashing or just casual?" I thought a little bit. Judging for the amount of popularity they had, there would probably be thousands of girls ready to see them, so we’d better get dressed smashingly.
• "Something smashing". We both laughed and Edu prepared breakfast. We ate avidly and then while Edu was having a shower I washed the little things from the breakfast. When Edu finished it was my turn to go to the shower. I took a deep, long relaxing bath and decided to wear tight black trousers and a tight black sweater. I looked at myself in the full length mirror and I saw it was not half bad. Edu had decided on a tight black skirt, quite Brigitte Bardot type and a tight red sweater with a handkerchief on her neck. She was just smashing. "Uau! George’s gonna flip when he sees you". That made Edu giggle.

They soon would come for us. We waited impatiently on the sofa in the living room, trying to look normal for when they would come but without success. Then we finally heard a knock on the door and we both went to the door to open it. Absolutely wonderful, smashing, gorgeous! They were wearing mohair jackets and I thought John looked fabulous in it. But by then I was so much in love that had he worn anything, I would have thought the same.

John and George made sort of a little whistle when they saw us. That was quite a lot of boost for our confidence.

• "Ready, girls?", said George.
• "Ready!", answered Edu. So she went to his side and John came to me. He kissed me softly in the lips and whispered in my ear:
• "Bloody Hell! I’m not gonna be able to wait until tonight", I smiled and headed forward. He caught up with me and we all entered Neil’s car. We said hello to Neil and he greeted us back. He was really nice. So John jumped to his left and the three of us went to the backseat.

When we arrived at the Cavern there were a cordon of girls at the entrance. George let out a blow and John cursed, as usual.

• "Fucking hell, another nightmare to get in". We jumped out the car and George grabbed Edu’s arm. Neil went on his own forward and John held me strongly by the hand. "Whatever happens, luv, don’t ever get rid of my hand. I don’t want to lose you, OK?", that frightened me a little but I nodded. "Ready?", yes I was ready so John rushed towards the cordon of girls.

John was right when he had said it was a nightmare. The girls screamed and tried to rush towards John. I had lost George, Edu and Neil and I was about to lose John due to the strength these girls were doing to touch John. Then I felt one arm passed by me and grabbed John’s arm. John pushed forward and the girl tore the sleeve out of his lovely mohair jacket. Oh no! It was lovely! I turned to the girl and saw a big guy, maybe the doorman, grab the girl, take the sleeve out from her, and give it back to John. John took it with his left arm and we went inside. Immediately after entering the place, John stitched the sleeve back on.

• "Are you alright, luv?", I smiled at him.
• "Yes", he smiled back and directed me towards the first row. The place was really small in comparison to all the people who were inside. The first two rows were reserved for the acquaintances of the bands. I tried to look for Edu and I spotted her sitting on one of the chairs in the first row. I immediately directed John towards there. When we reached Edu I told her: "Are you alright?"
• "Yeah, but miraculously. That was horrible", John laughed.
• "Yeah, I can tell", Edu got a puzzled look and I pointed at his sleeve. Edu didn’t understand but I made a sign that I would explain that later. "Is George backstage now?", he asked her.
• "Yeah, getting ready"
• "Ok, so I’d better join the lads", John kissed me in the lips and stroked my hair. "See you in ten minutes", I kissed him again and he went to the back of the stage to join the others.

I sat down next to Edu and suddenly all the chairs around us started to get filled in. We didn’t know anybody. So I turned round and saw Brian at the end of the second row. The place was absolutely full, there must have been about 500 people or more that night in the Cavern, the best part screaming girls. Suddenly, Bob Wooler came to the stage. I looked at Edu and she understood. The bastard who had made that comment about John and Brian still had respect for them. She went to one of the mikes:

• "Hello, you cavern dwellers! Welcome to the best of cellars!", everybody started clapping their hands and Edu and I joined them too. He went on: "Anyway, today’s a bit of a bad day. Our great boys, the best group the Cavern has ever had is playing here for their last time!", all the girls started screaming and feigning crying. I heard them say:
• "OH NO!!! NOOOO, PAUL!!!!
• "JOHN, WE LOVE YOU!!!"
• "PLEASE DON’T LEAVE US, NO!!!"

Edu and I were astonished. We couldn’t believe the thing had got so crazy. "John we love you"?, what was that? I felt jealous. By then I still didn’t know what the future had in store for us, but that day at the cavern, I felt jealous. Wooler went on:

• "So, welcome for the last time to the cavern, the Beatles!"

And the screams became even louder. I couldn’t believe it. Being such a close place, the walls bounced with the noise. But the boys were fabulous. They started with Twist and Shout, with John singing his heart out. I was really amazed, they were perfect, they sang beautifully... Then George followed with a cover of Chuck Berry’s Roll Over Beethoven. Edu was on cloud nine. Paul followed with a song whose title I had no idea and then Ringo told us something about boys. The girls didn’t stop screaming during all their repertoire. But the things didn’t stop there. The best of all still had to come. We were with our mouths wide opened at the magnificent view of these four gorgeous guys who happened to be OURS!!!! We couldn’t believe it. Then, John approached the microphone. My heart started beating really fast. He looked at me. Thank God I was in the first row because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to see him, so desperately short-sighted I was:

• "I.. I’d like to dedicate the next song to a very special person who is here today. It’s for you, luv!", and then he started singing one of the most beautiful songs I had ever heard:

I was in trance. I couldn’t believe, I DIDN’T BELIEVE John was dedicating that beautiful song to me. When he finished he winked at me and stepped a few steps backward. Then George approached the microphone and said:

• "Well, there’s someone here today whose birthday is on Monday, but since we won’t be here, I want to wish her a happy birthday and sing this song specially for her. Love you!" and jumped to one of our favourites because it was by Buddy Holly and we were mad about Buddy Holly, Don’t ever change:

Edu was almost crying. Her birthday was on Monday, the 5^th of August, so that was a really lovely surprise for her. She told me she had just mentioned it to George casually, she didn’t think he had such a good memory. We couldn’t believe this was actually happening to us. Here we were, two music lovers, who had met quite by chance due to a tatty magazine, living one of the most exciting experiences we could have ever imagined. And with these guys, the Beatles.

When they finished playing they bowed and went to the back of the stage. The girls screamed louder but then they had to applaud to the rest of the bands. Some other band came out to the stage. They resembled the Beatles in many ways, the hairstyle, for instance, but needless to say they weren’t as gorgeous as our boys. Anyway, Edu and I couldn’t have cared less about them. We were still en trance by the wonderful experience we had just lived.

When the gig was over, people started getting out of the cavern. Edu and I got up and headed towards the back of the stage. All the boys were there. John saw us and came for us. When he was at our side, he kissed me and smiled at Edu:

• "Enjoyed the show?", he asked us. Edu said:
• "Are you joking? It’s been one of the best things that has happened to us!", John smiled and touched her face. I felt a bit jealous but then John kissed me again and we joined the others.

Someone suggested going somewhere to have some drinks. They all agreed it was a good idea. One girl joined us. She was a little bit plump, but very nice. She smiled at all the jokes the Beatles did and seemed to have known them for a long time. George introduced us to her:

• "Hey girls, this is Pryscilla, Cilla for us!", we greeted her and became an instant friend for us. At least, she was one of the few girls who could hang out with the Beatles without screaming the hell out of them.

We stood there chatting for a little bit more because some of the supporting bands didn’t want to join us for the drinks, so the Beatles had to say goodbye to all of them. Bob Wooler was there too, but he didn’t seem to have a chip on his shoulder as regards John (John told me some time later that he had given him some money to shut his mouth up). We finally went out. It was early evening and the Beatles decided to drop by the Jacaranda, one of the first places they had played at the beginning of their musical career. So with Paul’s and Neil’s cars we could make our ways to the Jacaranda. John and I were in Neil’s car with Ringo. George and Edu had gone with Paul and Cilla in Paul’s car.

When we arrived at the Jacaranda we realised we had arrived first. We chose one big table in one silent corner so as not to be clearly recognised. John ordered. Ringo was really funny. We couldn’t stop laughing with him. I made my best so as not to ask him about his rings. Why on earth would he wear so many rings on his fingers?

Some loud chatter made us lift up our heads and direct our eyes towards the entrance door. There they came, the rest of them, Cilla, Paul, Edu and George. I noticed Edu and Paul talking, and George was with Cilla. But the way George was talking and watching Cilla was not the same way Paul was talking and watching Edu. I realised straight away Paul was somehow interested in Edu. But that could not be, or could it? I tried not to think much of it and enjoy the night.

They sat down with us. George went to the counter to order and the waiter came with all our orders at the same time. The evening was passing by quickly, and then, suddenly, George rose his voice and said:

• "Ok, now I want you to join me in wishing Edu a happy birthday. I’m so sorry, luv, that I won’t be with you on Monday! Anyway Happy birthday to you...", we all joined George in the song. What a pleasure to be sung by four gorgeous lads. Edu blushed. When the song finished George took out a little box from his pocket and gave it to Edu. She opened it still in a blur and found a wonderful sparkling pair of earrings and a matching necklace.

I was amazed. Boy was it wonderful! I couldn’t believe it. Edu was in the verge of tears. I had to nudge her.

• "Thank you, George", was the only thing she could say. George leaned and kissed her in the lips tenderly.
• "Oh, isn’t it lovely!", joked John. But I scolded him:
• "Oh, John, don’t be so unromantic!", he laughed and kissed me. But then he approached Edu and kissed her in her cheek and whispered something in her ear. I was really jealous by then. I had to talk to Edu that night and see what John had told her so secretly. But then Paul butted in:
• "May I kiss her too?". Needless to say Edu was over the moon. Nobody would believe us if now the Beatles became world-wide famous and we went back to Spain telling everything that had happened to us with them. I watched as Paul kissed Edu. Was it my imagination or was he kissing her in a different way a friend should kiss? George didn’t realise and John was quite eager as to ask for another beer. I told John in a whisper:
• "John, don’t you think Paul is paying too much attention to Edu?", John turned and looked at us. Paul was not kissing her anymore.
• "What do you mean?"
• "I mean Paul is paying too much attention to Edu".
• "Nah, Paul is dating Jane and Edu is George’s girl. Why do you think so?"

I didn’t know what to say and so said nothing. The waiter brought John’s beer. I was starting to panic, I really didn’t want another scene like the one we had lived at Paul’s birthday. Fortunately, nothing happened. John was drunk, but happily drunk, not aggressive like the other time.

We were hungry by then and John asked for something to eat. The evening passed by quickly and soon, Cilla, Ringo and Neil said they were going home. The other five remained a little bit. I couldn’t stop but looking at Paul. Was he really interested in my friend? And what was wrong with me? Was I jealous? Me? No! I was madly in love with John, but she had two Beatles all over her. Ok, she’s your friend and Paul is nothing. Tonight I will have a special chat with her.

When Edu said she was tired Paul offered to drive us home. So, John, George, Edu, Paul and me went in Paul’s car and Neil went his own way.

John and George insisted on coming up with us. Edu wanted it like mad, yes, she wanted to thank George in a special way for the wonderful present. And I really wanted to say John goodbye before they parted, so we said goodbye to Paul and went up.

No chat in the living room. No words of goodnight, the alcohol had affected the guys in a big way, so John took me by the arm and directed me to the room. He pushed me to the bed and started getting undressed. Then he lied over me and started showering me with kisses in my face and my neck. I could smell the alcohol and I must say I didn’t dislike it. John undressed me and kissed my whole body thousand of times. The way John kissed me was something that always made me go out of my mind. I loved him, I loved him like mad, and he loved me too. I could say by the way he kissed me. This was a quick one, he was too drunk as to concentrate on anything else but looking for his own pleasure. I didn’t mind. I loved John.

We lied there for a while and John smoked cigarette after cigarette for at least ten minutes. I turned to him:

• "John, dear, say you love me. Let me know I’m yours, please, I love you", I was really sentimental then. I think the fact of thinking of Edu adored by two Beatles had made me sad. John whispered in my ear:
• "I love you, my little child. I love you like mad, baby", and he also kissed me in the ear.

The time came when John had to go to his Aunt’s. He didn’t want to spend the night there, but wanted to say goodbye to her before going and they were going early in the morning to Blackpool. He started getting dressed and I observed him from the bed:

• "When will you come back?", John looked at me:
• "I’ll phone you as often as Brian let us, right, luv? We’re touring England, seaside places and stuff. I don’t know when we’ll come back to Liverpool".

Oh, dear! How could he say so and not break down and cry like I was about to do! John was going out of my life and god only knew when I would see him again. He saw my distressed face and came to hug me.

• "Shhh, it’s alright, luv. I’ll phone you and if you want me around, call me on the phone and I’ll be running home, no matter what Brian says about it", that cheered me up a little but I knew it was not true. John kissed me: "I love you, baby, but I really must be going now. Be a good girl, take care of Edu and we’ll be together as soon as possible", he blow a kiss to me in the air and went out.

And I couldn’t sleep that night. I cried and cried thinking of John and I was going to miss him like hell. I needed a shoulder to cry on. I thought of going to Edu but I didn’t know if George was still in. I decided to wait until the morning and so I could also talk to Edu about Paul in a more sober way.

I didn’t sleep a wink but somehow at 8.00 or so in the morning I decided it was high time and I got up. Edu wasn’t around, so I prepared breakfast and had a shower. What was I going to do without John? It was August, so everybody would probably be on holidays. There was no point in going to London to live until September at least. What about a short trip to Spain to stay with my parents until October? But, no, I didn’t want to miss any chances of being with John, and anyhow John couldn’t reach me on the phone if I was in Spain.

I finally heard some noise coming out from Edu’s bedroom so I dried myself quickly, wrapped a towel around my body and my head and went out of the bathroom. There was Edu, just awoken and yawning.

• "Mornin’ Vicky", she told me half yawning. She started going to the kitchen and I followed her quickly.
• "Edu, I have to talk to you", she looked at me puzzled and sat down on one of the chairs we had in the kitchen. I sat down in front of her. She looked at me questioning me with her eyes. I decided to go directly to the point. "What’s the story with Paul?"
• "Paul?", she seemed genuinely surprised. Maybe I was paranoid and Paul had the same interest in her as he had, let’s say, in me.
• "Yes, Paul, Edu. I noticed certain interest in you from his part?", Edu giggled a little. Oh, so she had noticed... Well, it was not a laughing matter.
• "Nothing, he’s quite nice, you see... He wished me happy birthday so many times... Oh, it was a wonderful night!"
• "Oh, I’m sure it was, but be careful. Don’t make George jealous!"
• "Jealous? Oh, come on, Vicky, you wouldn’t seriously think there’s something going on between Paul and me..."
• "Not now but maybe if he continues like this, it may happen", Edu laughed.
• "Vicky, don’t be soft. I’m absolutely crazy about George at this point. I could never, do you hear me?, never do that to George", that relaxed me a little.
• "I’m glad to hear that. And one more thing..."
• "Oh, what’s this, Vicky? A fifth degree?"
• "Edu, this is important to me... What did John whisper in your ear yesterday at the club?" Edu looked at me startled.
• "Only happy birthday, Vicky, don’t be so paranoid", with that she got up and went for some coffee. I decided to leave it there, so as not to worse the situation. Maybe what happened to me was that I was jealous, oh yes, that was it. I couldn’t stand the fact that there were three Beatles out of four who were crazy about Edu. I knew John was only her friend, but I didn’t share that confidentiality with George or Paul! I decided to let it go.

The time passed by slowly. We had nothing to do but going out and enjoy ourselves. We hang out around the Cavern although the Beatles didn’t play there any more, but it was the only place where good music was played, and besides we knew Cilla, Bob Wooler and some of the other bands who played there. For Edu’s birthday we wanted to do something special, so we went out for the night and celebrated it drinking and having fun.

One day, when the phone rang, I picked it up like frantic because I figured out it would be John. Much to my surprise it wasn’t John. It was George:

• "Hi, Vicky, how’s it going?"
• "Fine!", I tried not to sound disappointed but I obviously was. "Is it John there?", there was this awkward silence on the other line. "George, is it John there?"
• "No, I mean, he’s busy, you see... He’s writing some new stuff with Paul. But don’t worry, you’ll see him in a few days, we’re going to spend a night in Liverpool in a few days, so you can talk. Put me through to Edu, please!", so I did. But as they talked I realised something was not right. John should have phoned me, yeah, he should. Writing with Paul? And since when had that been an excuse for not calling me?

Then one day George and John turned up at our door. I noticed John somehow different, more distant. He stood there, at the door, looking at me and not uttering a word. I saw as George and Edu hugged each other and walked in to go to the living room. But then, suddenly, John seemed to jump to life and came towards me to hug me. He pushed me towards him strongly and then kissed me passionately in the lips. He whispered in my ear:

• "I love you, baby, and I’ve missed you like hell...", I beamed. I kissed him. John tried to drag me into the bedroom to make love, but I was not in the mood. I wanted to know why he hadn’t called me in so many days. I directed him to the kitchen so as to leave George and Edu who were in the living room some privacy.
• "John, dear, I’ve missed you too. Why haven’t you called me even one single day?" John remained silent a few moments.
• "I’ve been very busy, luv....", he mumbled.
• "As busy that you couldn’t dial the number and say ‘I love you’? it only takes five seconds".
• "I’m sorry, luv, forgive me. I’ll make up for you", then he kissed me and started stroking my back. I was feeling really excited at that point. John persisted and I finally gave in and John made love to me. When we finished, John fell asleep but I was wide awake for some reason. I couldn’t sleep. I could sense something was wrong.

I hear some noise in the kitchen and decided to go to see. I was nude so I put on my night-gown and went out. I found George looking for something in the fridge.

• "Oh, hi there!", he told me, rather puzzled.
• "Hi, George, hungry, eh? I feel a bit starved too, maybe we should share the food"

He agreed and we both sat down at the kitchen table. We ate for a while and then I decided to ask him about the tour.

• "Great! Some seaside places we’ve seen. Jersey is lovely and so are the Channel Islands. John did have a good time there!", but then he suddenly stopped as though regretting of having said that.
• "Oh, yeah? Tell me about it". George seemed a little bit uncomfortable. He didn’t want to answer. He even stopped eating for a while. I started to think something had happened. "George, is anything the matter? Something about John you don’t want me to know?"
• "Vicky, talk to John. I’m not the one to tell you anything". He left me standing there with my heart sunk. Something wrong had happened. John had done something wrong and they were avoiding it. Oh, my God! I was really nervous at that time. I heard the door of my room opened and there came John.
• "Hey, luv, I woke up and didn’t see you in bed. What are ya doing ‘ere?" I couldn’t think properly so I went directly to the point.
• "John what’s happened in this tour? Please, do tell me, John, whatever it is I’ll understand!" John looked puzzled at first but then he sat down next to me and held my hand.
• "Luv, the boys can tell you nothing serious went on. It was all philosophical", I didn’t reply, I wanted him to go on. I nodded with my head for him to continue. He did. "I met Royston Ellis, you know, the poet, and his wife".
• "John, please...", I was almost in tears by that point and John realised. He held my hand stronger than before.
• "They introduced me to this girl, some sort of Polythene Pam and...", my heart stopped. THEY HAD SLEPT TOGHETER!!!! I was sure about that before he could even open his mouth. My tears were streaming down my face by then and were blurring my image of John so I can’t say what his expression was. John, seeing my distressed, stroked my face and went on: "Vicky, nothing happened, luv, nothing! We didn’t make sex if that’s what you’re worried about. Vicky, I love you! You’re m life, my relationship with that girl was only intellectual. We didn’t make sex, bloody hell!" But I was absolutely broken down at that point, and I couldn’t stop crying. I finally got up and said:
• "I want you to leave. I really want you to leave, John. How can you do this to me?" I really wanted him to go away. I wanted to split up then and there. I would go back to Spain and resume my old life there. John got up to reach me:
• "Fucking listen to me, Vicky! She means nothing to me.", but I wouldn’t listen to him. I went running to my room, slammed the door shut and lied on the bed crying like mad. That night I had my first argument about women with John and it wouldn’t be the last. I realised then John had all his clothes spread on the floor. I made a bundle with them and threw them out to the corridor. Some weeks would pass by until I finally could make it up with John.