And I couldn’t stop thinking of John. I was missing him like hell. I knew it had been my fault, but I wanted to talk to John once again and make it up. Now it was too late. John had stopped phoning me. And then their last single came out. "She loves you". Oh, how I loved John!! I needed to talk to him urgently! But I couldn’t. So I spend the month of August in sheer misery.

Edu had kept in touch with George all the time and so she kept me updated with the boys’ latest things. That’s how I knew they would be having a day off at the beginning of September. They would be in London at the time and Edu had decided to go and stay with George and maybe stay permanently in London and look for a job. I decided it was a good idea.

So we packed up our few things and reserved a train to London. I wanted to say goodbye to Cilla Black, Bob Wooler and even Mimi, but I decided not to in case I had to come back to Liverpool to say my goodbye for good.

I was really scared of meeting John. I loved him madly but I was afraid of his reaction. On the train, Edu was telling me things George had told her. I was paying little attention until she mentioned the name John.

• "... and then John started writing the song".
• "Which song?"
• "Oh, Vicky, you seem daft sometimes. John loves you! How many times can I possibly say? He’s writing songs about you, you know, like he did in Spain. Your arguments seem to be an incessant flow of inspiration for him", then she laughed. "No, seriously, John loves you and wants you to know. If he has to tell you singing, he will".

That cheered me up more than if I had won the lottery. I couldn’t wait to see John. I needed to embrace him, kiss him, make love to him, whisper thousands of times that I loved him. Edu told me she knew their hotel and so she would phone George and told him we both were coming the next day so that I could talk to John.

When we finally arrived at Euston train station, we took a taxi and went to the flat we had rented . It was in a very beautiful area, in Kentish town, and we shared it with two more girls. One of them was Spanish, like Edu and me. We were so happy when we found out. We three started jumping up and down in the corridor and talking about Spanish things. Her name was Eli. Her real name was Elidia, but she hated that name, she preferred to be called Eli. The other girl was called Tessa and she was English. We four were very close in age, so we got on like a house on fire. Tessa sometimes felt like an outsider, but we tried to make her feel like one of us and she quickly was. Edu and I were very lucky with our flat mates.

We unpacked our things, had a quick dinner and I went to bed straight because I was looking forward the next day in which I would see and TALK to John for the first time in a long time. Edu stayed with Eli and Tessa.

The next day I woke up before the alarm clock rang. I didn’t want to wake up anybody but I couldn’t stay in bed. I went to the bathroom, silently closed and locked the door and had a shower. That was going to be an inconvenience. The flat only had a tiny little bathroom that we had to share. I finished my shower in an amazing little time and went to the kitchen. Nobody had woken up yet so I went out to the window. Cloudy, as usual. It was a bit chilly but I thought it would be warm eventually. I heard some noise coming from my bedroom that I shared with Edu and saw her walking towards the bathroom.

• "Mornin’, Edu. Hurry up, I can’t wait to see John!" Edu looked at her watch and half yawning said:
• "Are you crazy? It’s only 9.00! You honestly think any Beatle will be woken up so early?" and then she started walking towards the bathroom. She was right. John was a big sleeper and this being their day off, she was right indeed.

The time passed slowly. Edu never saw the right time to go and meet the guys. And we couldn’t name them by their names because we didn’t want Eli and Tessa to know we were dating two Beatles. At least not so soon. She finally said:

• "Ok, Vicky, I’m going to phone George. Keep your fingers crossed ‘cos I’m not sure if they will stay in the hotel or they’ll have gone somewhere". My heart sank. No, that could not be. I was going to see John. Yeah, I was. I finally heard EDU say: "Alright, thanks Paul. We’ll be there in about half an hour, ok? Tell them, right? See you!" She hung up. I looked her in the eyes.
• "Well?"
• "I talked to Paul. John was sleeping and George was with Ringo in the bar. I told him to tell George and John, ok? So, are you ready? We must be there in thirty minutes", she looked at her watch, "twenty five".

We rushed outside. We took a bus to King’s Cross and there we took the tube. It took us forty minutes to get to their hotel, so they were already waiting for us when we arrived there. We entered and headed towards reception not seeing them in the hall. But then Edu happened to spot George talking to John at the bar, which was to the left of the reception. We headed towards the bar but the receptionist stopped us.

• "Excuse me, ladies. Can I help you?" Edu spoke.
• "No, not really. We have an appointment here"
• "May I know with whom?", that was too much, wasn’t it? He didn’t seem to be ready to let us enter the bar. Thankfully, George looked at the hall and saw us there arguing with the guy. He came towards us followed by John:
• "Hey, luv! What’s wrong?", the receptionist almost died of embarrassment.
• "I’m sorry, I’m really sorry...", he muttered.
• "It’s Ok", I said. I only wanted to be with John and talk to him and so I wanted this fool conversation to end as soon as possible.

John was looking at me. I could notice. And I looked at him. I looked him deep in the eye and saw some tension. He made a gesture with his head as indicating me to go to the bar. I looked at Edu and whispered to her:

• "Edu, please, wish me luck. Talk to you later, ok?", she smiled at me and she stayed at reception with George. I don’t know where they went from there or if they stayed there. I only know that I was looking forward to making it up with John.

We entered the bar and John went to the counter to ask some drinks. He didn’t ask me what I wanted and ordered a Coke for me and whisky and coke for him. I took my coke from the counter and waited for John to go to one of the tables. He chose one at the back, in one dark corner, and sat down. I sat down in front of him. Silence. I avoided looking John in the eyes. He was quite uncomfortable and touched his collar and untied his tie incessantly. We finally both spoke at the same time:

• "So"
• "Well"

• "Vicky, luv, it’s been a long time, ain’t it? You look lovely, as usual. How are you?"
• "Not too bad, John... I...", I really wanted to go to the point but didn’t know how. I wanted to tell him it all had been my fault, that I didn’t trust him and so if he didn’t want to see me any more, I would understand. Instead of all those things, I could only say: "I’m sorry", tears were forming in my eyes. I wanted to cry but I had to avoid crying in front of John. John stretched his arm across the table and took my hand.
• "Hey, luv! There’s nothing you should feel sorry about, honey. It’s been my fault too, and so I want to tell you once more that there was nothing between that girl and me, luv, I...", I stopped him. I didn’t really care. If John was with me then, after so much time, and still wanted to see me, that was more than a proof that he loved me. So, I leaned on the table and kissed him. John was startled at first, but then he reacted and kissed me back passionately, stroking my hair and the back of my neck. When he separated, he stopped two millimetres from my mouth and whispered: "I love you, baby. I love you like mad. Let’s go to my room!". I nodded. There was nothing in the world I didn’t want more than that. So he took my hand and lifted me up. Holding hands we went towards the lifts, stopping every now and then to kiss each other. We went up to his floor and then he whispered: "Let’s hope Macca is not in". As I had done before, now I prayed that we could be together. And we were lucky, because Paul was just ready to go out.
• "Oh, hi Vicky. How are you?", he told me. John didn’t want to lose any more time.
• "She’s fine, Paulie. Just let us in and go away!", Paul smiled.
• "Oh, I see... Mmm, by the way, luv... How’s Edu?", again that awful feeling came to me. Paul showed interest in Edu. John dragged me inside and I couldn’t say a word. Paul shuggered and went away but I felt uncomfortable. Thank God, John made me feel good from the very start. He kissed me passionately at times and tenderly at times. He undressed me and put me over the bed. Then he undressed and came to me. He kissed me all over my body, teasing with the nipples and stopping to all the places he knew made me feel ecstatic. We made love for hours. It was one of the best times we had made love. One of the best we ever made. It was the love after an argument and everybody knows those are the sweetest. Thank God for thick walls because otherwise everybody would have heard me. I shouted John's name in my loudest voice and he whispered mine. We finally came together and rested on the bed in silence for a few minutes.

I closed my eyes. John turned to me and told me: "I love you, honey". I didn’t open my eyes. Too good to be true. I had the impression that if I opened my eyes everything would vanish and I would be back in Spain. I suddenly heard John doing something. I heard him scribble down something and the noise of a paper. I opened my eyes and saw John writing something on a piece of paper. He was wearing glasses. GLASSES!! I had never seen John in glasses before!! John looked at me and saw my puzzled face. His glasses were very much like Buddy Holly’s ones, thick rimmed and quite like my own. I smiled at him.

I started feeling curiosity about what he was writing with so much interest. I tried to reach the paper but John was quicker and put it away.

• "John, what are you writing?"
• "Oh, it’s nothing, luv."
• "Please, John, I know you’re writing something. What is it? Please, show it to me".

He finally gave in and showed it to me. It was another song. Just written, the songs don’t seem to have the attractiveness they have when sung. And this one went like this (once I could make out John’s terrible handwriting):

This was somehow in a different colour. I could see what he had just written because it wasn’t very clear. The effort it supposes to write when not leaned on a table. What John had written a few minutes ago went like this:

And it stopped there.

• "I still have to add a few more lines, you see... What? Do you like it?" I hugged him and kissed him.
• "I love it!", he smiled at me.
• "There’s another one for you I wrote some time ago. Before our argument, that was".

I was happy with John then and John with me. I loved him like mad and he also loved me. We decided to join George and Edu and go together to dinner.

That was a difficult task. Edu hadn’t told me where they were going and George didn’t tell John either so we finally decided to go on our own. Amazingly, the Beatles were quite famous in England by then, so John asked Brian if he knew any good places where we could be undisturbed. Brian told us one where they people were so snob that they would pretend they didn’t know John. And oh! Quite by chance George and Edu had gone to the same place so with a little luck we still may find them there.

Brian ordered a taxi and off we went. The place was quite nice, in central London. And we spotted Edu and George holding hands in one of the tables at the end. John put a finger on his lips so as not to say a word and went towards them soothingly. He finally almost shouted:

• "So, Mr Harrison. I am from the Sunday Mail. How did you meet that beauty?"

I had to laugh at the face George and Edu made. They had really been taken by surprise.

• "Come off it, John", said George, "I thought we had been caught". We all laughed and took a sit by them. EDU and I exchanged glances of understanding. She was as happy as I was so I assumed they had also been on lovely terms.

John ordered for us two and the waiter didn’t take more than two minutes in serving our meals. We had a great time. We soon got involved in a conversation about our roommates. We told them how lucky we’d been finding such nice girls. But George and John weren’t very happy with the idea of Edu and I living in a small flat with two more girls. They thought it would be dangerous. They could speak too much and go to the press. I told them not to worry. Eli and Tessa were really nice but even so John in particular wasn’t very convinced. That was when he first started thinking of us living together. George wasn’t happy either but that were how things were going and there were nothing they could do about it (still).

After the dinner, we decided to go out partying. George had already been informed by Brian about the clubs we could go without being disturbed and we went to one of them. George liked dancing a lot and so EDU and he spent most of the time dancing. John wasn’t a good dancer and sat down on one of the sofas. At first I stayed with him, kissing him and hugging him, but then, seeing Edu and George I started feeling like dancing. I got up and went to the dancing floor. It was impossible to dance without a partner so Edu, who was a little bit tired, told me she would go with John and that I could dance with George. And so I did. I had the time of my life.

Soon it was time to go back home. We all went together in a taxi and when we got to the hotel, there was an awkward silence. We four knew what we wanted, but there was a little problem: John and Paul were sharing a room, and Ringo and George another one. Then John said it wouldn't be very difficult to convince Paul and Ringo of sleeping in the same room. Then we had to convince Brian so that George and Edu could have a room for themselves and John and I could have the other one. To convince Ringo and Brian was really easy but I couldn’t see it that easy with Paul, and I was right. As soon as we told Paul, he said no. And I knew why he said no. He liked Edu. And I had known it since the very first time he set eyes on her. So I had to take Edu away and talk to her directly.

• "Edu, Paul likes you. And I told you so don’t feign surprise now".
• "Ok, now suppose you’re right, what am I suppose to do?"
• "Talk to him. You want to spend the night with George, don’t you? Ok, so tell him to sleep with Ringo. Oh, come on! It would only be a night!"

Edu thought for a while and then accepted. As I had guessed it had been no problem. Once John and I were alone in the room, John turned to me and kissed me.

• "Luv, Paul and I have some sort of appointment tomorrow morning. We have to go fetch some award of something but I would like you to come with me". I was astonished. That was something I hadn’t thought of. Uau!! Going with John publicly, that would be like telling the world I was his woman.
• "I’d love to, John, but... Are you sure? I mean, there will be lots of journalists and photographers..."
• "Yeah", he interrupted, "but you’ll stay with Brian and everything will be ok. After that we can go to have lunch, you, Paul and me and then go back to the hotel to... You know!", he then drew that mischievous grin on his face and that he knew drove me absolutely crazy. I smiled and kissing him I accepted. We went to bed and made love once again. Then we both fell asleep.

John woke me up early the next morning. He had to get dressed and meet Brian and Paul at the hall at ten, so I’d have to hurry up too if I wanted to make it in time. I didn’t wash my hair to be quicker, I only had a shower and so I was done in ten minutes. I panicked when I didn’t know what clothes to wear. I didn’t have anything suitable for the occasion nor at the hotel or at home, so John told Brian to buy something for me. I felt a little bit embarrassed of being such a nuisance but John kissed me and said it was a pleasure.

• "I love you, baby. Don’t you see all this would be shit if it wasn’t for you?"

Brian brought a beautiful long dress. It was black velvet and I really thought I was going crazy. I had never in all my life seen anything like that, only in films. John laughed at my amazement. I put it on and John whistled:

• "Hell, Vicky, you’re smashing!", he approached me and kissed me.

It was time to go but before going out I decided to take my casual clothes just for the lunch. I didn’t really feel like being so smart dressed if we finally went to a normal restaurant. So we went downstairs and met Brian and Paul at the hall. Brian ordered a taxi and off we went.

The luncheon was at the Savoy Hotel. It was one of the best hotels in London. I was suddenly surrounded by all possible luxury. John and Paul were quickly busy with the journalists, the cameras and the photographs. I tried to stick to Brian although it was sometimes a difficult task. John and Paul had to go up a riser or something and there they received an award for "Top Vocal Group Of The Year". John sometimes looked for me with his eyes but I doubted if he could see me. Maybe he was wearing his contact lenses, I don’t know. But when he saw me, he smiled at me and I smiled at him back. Nobody asked him who I was and he didn’t tell anybody so I felt better. When they had received their award, there were free drinks and so I had some cokes. I was alone in a counter when I suddenly felt a cold hand on my back. I almost shouted but turned around and saw John smiling at me with a glass of scotch whisky and coke in one hand. He leaned to kiss me.

• "I’m sorry you have to be all on your own, luv"
• "Oh, it’s Ok, John, I’m having a great time"
• "Are you? That’s fine, then", he kissed me again and we suddenly saw some flashes all around us. I got scared. They had caught us! John was also a little bit scared and he went in search of Brian. I followed him and still the cameras didn’t stop following us too. John finally spotted Brian talking to Paul. Brian scolded John when he told him.
• "I told you to be more careful!", Brian almost shouted. "It was the same with Cyn, remember? This can be bad for your career". I couldn’t believe it. But poor little Beatles! If they loved someone, they couldn’t show it too much in case the fans got angry! But they should understand. They MUST understand. Paul butted in:
• "Oh, come on, Brian. You’re giving them the same shit again as you did with Cyn and me with Jane. Just mind your own business". John sent Paul a thanks glance and came towards me to kiss me.
• "Don’t worry, baby! If I have to tell the world, I will", he kissed me again. When the luncheon was almost over, Brian said we could go to have lunch whenever we wanted. He had to go somewhere (Abbey Road I think I heard) to have something arranged, so Paul decided to go to a restaurant he sometimes went with Jane near the place we were in. But before I needed to get changed, I couldn’t go around London dressed in that fashion, so I went to one of the toilets of the hotel and changed. I wore casually but not in jeans. The height of fashion was wear black skirts and tight sweaters and so I did, exactly the same clothes I had worn the day before.

When the taxi came Paul said the address and we went to the restaurant. It was a posh one. That Jane of his should be a posh one. But, wait a minute! If he was dating some girl called Jane, why on earth did he show so much interest in my friend Edu? I had to know. John chose a table near a window and Paul ordered. There were some curious eyes but people were snob and they pretended they didn’t know them. The waiter brought our orders and we ate in silence for a few moments. Then I started.

• "I wonder what Edu will be doing now", Paul reacted just as I had meant.
• "That friend of yours is quite nice, ain’t she?" I looked at John and he sent me a side glance.
• "Oh, yes she is. And deeply in love with George", John almost drowned eating so as not to laugh. I could be really cruel at times. Paul seemed hurt. Ah, got him! "And Paul, where’s Jane now? I’ve hard you’re dating a girl called Jane"
• "Oh, she’s working for her theatre company, as usual. She doesn't give a damn for me sometimes, you know... maybe we should do a trip somewhere to work things out"

Oh, so Paul wasn’t that happy with that Jane he had as girlfriend... I was about to continue but John looked at me and said no with his head. I obeyed. The rest of the lunch was more or less Ok. John told me he wanted to speak to me but we’d do it that night. My curiosity wouldn’t let me live until then. When we finished, John ordered a taxi to come back to the hotel.

I sat down at the back in between John and Paul. John was looking out of the window and then the car stopped at a red light. Then he suddenly shouted:

• "Hey, Paul! Isn’t that old little Andy?"

Paul approached the window John was looking out of and squeezed me a little but I didn’t care.

• "Oh, yeah! What will he be doing all alone?"
• "Let’s find out!", said John. He rolled down the window and told that Andy guy: "Get in, Andy". Andy got in and sat down in front of them. John introduced us and told me Andy had been the Beatles publicist until a few months ago. Now he was working for another group called the Rolling Stones. "And how are you doing with the Rolling Stones, Andy? Found out some smashing hits?"
• "Well, I’m actually looking for songs for them to record".
• "Oh!", said John, "in that case you might like to hear one we have just written. Well, not now, you see, Andy, but yesterday or the day after, wasn’t it, Paul?", Paul nodded, "It’s called ‘I Wanna Be Your Man’. Maybe they think it is suitable. What dayathink?"
• "Well, I’ll have to ask them personally", Andy said. "And you can too. Look, I was on my way to meet the Stones at Ken Colyer’s Studio there in Soho."
• "Ok, we join you, Andy", said Paul. John leaned forward to tell the taxi driver the new address and then squeezed my hand and whispered to my ear:
• "You don’t mind, do you?" How could I mind? I was mad about John at that point. "And also if you get tired, just tell me and we’ll go home". That was very nice of him. I kissed him and he kissed me back.

We finally arrived at the club. It was a small place but it wasn’t very crowded, something understandable being a Tuesday, but even so there were a few young men standing at the counter with some guitars. Andy rose his arm and waved them. We went to them. And again introductions were made. I only took four names: Keith, Mick, Brian (a very very sexy blond guy) and Bill. But when it came to associate the names with the faces, I could only remember Brian. Anyway, John and Paul soon borrowed some of their guitars and launched into the number:

• "Listen to this", said John. And he and Paul started singing:

Oh, it was nice! And it was the first time I had seen Paul and John in action singing together. They suddenly stopped:

• "Well, we still haven’t got a middle eight, you see. We started writing it the other day, so...".
• "It didn’t sound half bad", said one of the Stones.
• "Well, if you really like it we can finish it off for you".
• "That would be nice. And when do you think you’ll have it ready? Next week? Will you tell Andrew?"
• "What are you talking about?", said Paul. "Wait here, please" Paul went towards a side room and John followed him. Before entering John shouted:
• "Take good care of her, will ya?"

They all laughed and I laughed too. I felt a little bit embarrassed all surrounded by so many guys. They were all in their own worlds, but somehow they felt guilty of leaving me alone and were about to give some sort of conversation when John and Paul came out of the room. One of them asked them:

• "Forget something?", then he looked at me, then at John and smiled.
• "No", said Paul. "We’ve just finished the middle eight. How does this sound?", and they started singing once again. The song was alright but I was amazed at the incredibly easiness they seem to write songs out. The Stones were as amazed as I was.

John and Paul decided then to give the song to the Rolling Stones. After a few more drinks and some friendly chat, John and Paul said their goodbyes and we all went to back to the hotel.