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| SAVIOR | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Author: Tiggy | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Rating: PG 13 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Disclaimer: See part 1 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Author's notes: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I know, I know...I promised I'd write more soon. Sorry! Real life has been somewhat busy recently and I had to overcome a severe depression caused by Brannon Braga's latest and final cruelty- 'Endgame'. I suppose there's not much we can do about it, so let's retreat into the wonderful world of fanfic where we can easily forget everything TPTB have done to us... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| III | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| When he entered the infirmary, he saw Janeway sitting up on her biobed, holding a bowl of soup and staring at the blanket which covered her legs. She was obviously lost in thought. Chakotay didn't want to startle her so he approached her at an angle where she could see him and cleared his throat before he got too close. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Apparently, that was enough to raise her from her musings as she lifted her head and looked at him with a guarded expression on her face. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I thought you were hungry." He said and pulled over a chair to sit next to her bed. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| For a moment he thought she hadn't heard him, but then she answered. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "It's just hard for me to believe that I'm here now. It's been so long since...I'd given up all hope for rescue a long time ago." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She refused to meet his eyes. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Actually, that's why I'm here- Ensign Janeway. My Engineer was able to...retrieve your file from the Starfleet database. It appears to confirm the information you've given us so far. Although I have to say that it's not quite up to date." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "How long?" She finally looked at him and he saw a look of apprehension in her eyes. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "You really don't know, do you? The last entry in your file, which describes your capture by the Cardassians during a surveillance mission, was made 15 years ago. Since then, there has been no sign of you, so Starfleet presumed you were dead." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He quieted when he saw the shock written on her face. "My god!" she gasped. "I knew it'd been a long time...but...15 years! They've all forgotten me, my family, Starfleet... they've all given up on me." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He didn't know how to respond to that. Instead, he put a calming hand on her arm and waited for her to come to terms with the situation. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Finally, he made a decision and said "You know, why don't I get you some clothes and then we can go to the messhall or my office. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| There's still so much information I need from you and...I'm sure you'd like to know about what has occured during... your absence." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She nodded. He left the infirmary to get some clothes for his new passenger and contacted Lewis to let him know about his plans. As he'd assumed, Lewis deemed it safe to release his patient, but he told Chakotay to let her rest at the first signs of fatigue. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After Janeway had changed into a simple dark blue tunic, some brown pants and matching slippers, Chakotay led her to his office. There, they sat on his couch under the window and began to talk. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Chakotay decided to interrogate her before he revealed any information about the Maquis or the current political situation. Despite her long imprisonment by the Cardassians, he remembered that her father had been an Admiral, so he couldn't be sure how she would react to the news that he was an enemy of the Federation. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "What happened after you were captured?" he asked. "I know that it's probably very painful to talk about it. I mean... I don't know what exactly the Cardassians did to you but I know that they are not exactly great hosts." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She sat there with her knees drawn to her chest and shivered as she remembered. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Instead of immediately answering his question she said "I was only a science officer on the Icarus. It was my first assignment. The mission was led by Admiral Paris, my mentor. According to him it was nothing but scientific exploration. I had no idea that there was a hidden agenda." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She laughed out shortly, a sound totally without humor. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Imagine my surprise when our shuttle was attacked during an away mission to a moon close to the Cardassian border. Admiral Paris and I were the only people aboard... We didn't stand a chance and had no choice but to surrender. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| They beamed us aboard their ship, into some kind of brig. There were guards standing in front of the forcefield...Before I had any opportunity to talk to the Admiral, two men came in and dragged him away to another room...That's the last time I ever saw him." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She stood up and went to stand in front of another window, gazing out at the stars. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "The only consolation I have is the knowledge that he got rescued. I'm sure of it, I could see it in Camet's face after the attack... That must have been some days later, maybe weeks...I don't know." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| When she didn't continue for what seemed like several minutes, Chakotay said " Who were the attackers, Starfleet? Did you see them?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "...No, just heard them, but I know they were Starfleet. They were shouting orders and after some time, I heard someone call 'We've found Paris, now let's get out of here!' I realized that this may be my only chance of escape, so I began screaming for help... but no one came. They must have heard me, I know it... I've often wondered if they tried to get to me or... if they just...didn't care..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Chakotay watched her trembling form against the pale light of the stars. He didn't know what to say. The most cruel thing was that she might be right. She was merely a green ensign, so maybe Starfleet thought of her as... 'dispensable'. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I'm sure they did everything they could... nobody would just leave anyone at the mercy of the Cardassians, no matter what rank." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He didn't go on, and for a moment he wondered why he had just tried to defend Starfleet. He despised them, he had experienced how Starfleet could turn their back on weaker people, even entire populations, in order to protect themselves. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| However, Chakotay realized that he couldn't tell her about that right now. It was obvious to him how much Starfleet must mean to her, with an admiral as father she must have grown up with a firm belief in Starfleet and its principles, its justice. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| And no matter how much he wanted to free her from such blind trust, he found that he was incapable of hurting her so deeply by being honest. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Chakotay was so overwhelmed by that discovery that he startled when she suddenly continued as if she hadn't heard him. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "You know what? I had never seen a Cardassian before. I had no idea what they looked like. When I was first brought into Camet's office, I still wasn't sure whom I was dealing with... Well, I found out soon enough. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| At first, he was... almost friendly. I didn?t trust him but... I also had no idea what kind of monster lurked behind that ugly face of his." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She took a deep breath. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "In the beginning, I sometimes I wondered why he didn't just send me to a prison camp... or he could have just killed me. After several weeks, he must have realized that I didn't have any valuable information for him. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I was so stupid... to think that's what he was interested in. Maybe, with Paris, it was information he wanted to get. But with me... he just wanted power, control." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Chakotay shivered. He knew a lot about Cardassians, so he knew what Camet had wanted to do with her- break her, kill her soul. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "But he never succeeded." He said, suddenly realizing why he hadn't been able to even guess what had happened to her. "Fifteen years, you're trying to tell me that you were Camet's prisoner for fifteen years and he wasn't able to defeat you?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She turned, and for the first time since they had started this conversation, she looked him directly in the eyes. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "On the day I realized what he really wanted, I swore to myself that, no matter what happened, he would never get it. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Believe me, I lost many things during that time, my dignity, my hope,... he may have possessed my body, he made me respect him, fear him... I think, after a while, he thought he had what he wanted. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I stopped resisting him when he wanted something from me, I did what he told me to do. For fifteen years, I fooled him while I secretely tried to find some way of escape.� | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| In the end, I really had given up. Soon after Admiral Paris was saved, Camet took me to Cardassia Prime where he ownes a huge mansion not far away from the capital, at least that's what he said. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I never got out, he made sure that there wasn't anything in my environment which I might be able to use for an escape, no computer consoles, nothing that might be used as a weapon. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He had everything under control, at least for a while." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Do you think he... loved you?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Again that hollow laugh. She shook her head. "I've often wondered about that myself. But that seems to be the only logical explanation for my survival, isn't it? After only a short while, he stopped torturing me. Punishments got fewer and fewer over the years.� And he always appeared to be so jealous. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| There were always guards who brought me food and clothes. Not a popular job, I guess, because sometimes, he came in while one of them was in my room, shouting at him to 'leave his dirty hands off HIS property', and shot him. Afterwards, he would beat me until he got tired and left to send in a doctor whose job was to repair my broken bones and make me look presentable again. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Fortunately, Camet seemed to have� had enough of all the killings at one point because after a while, he only let female servants enter my room." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "It's incredible how you managed to survive so long, without any apparent damage..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I wouldn't go that far." She interrupted him. "What he did to me can never be reversed... he took fifteen years of my life and turned them into a living hell. I know, you're used to seeing prisoners who have been tortured physically, beaten so badly that after a while they lost their minds. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I rarely had to endure such things. He always said how attractive I was for a 'mindless human whore'. I guess he just didn't want to ruin my looks..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She sighed again and Chakotay could see her shivering. "Believe me, there are not many things that can be done to the human body without leaving any marks which haven't been done to me... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| But, instead of subjecting me to simple torture, he did something else.He..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Her voice caught in her throat and for a few moments, Chakotay could see her struggling to maintain her composure. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He stood up and went over to where she stood. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "It's alright now, you know, he won't ever harm you again. Noone will if I can't help it." He said softly and put a hand on her shoulder. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She turned to him again and managed a teary smile. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "This is so strange...after such a long time with the Cardassians one should think that I'd have some serious problems with trusting other people and yet... I feel so safe now. I don't even know who you are..." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Chakotay smiled. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, but first... do you think you can go on or do you want to rest for a while?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I must admit that I'm still a little exhausted, emotionally more than otherwise." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Alright, I don?t want to push you. Unfortunately, the Liberty is a small ship, so I can?t offer you any guest quarters. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| For now, you can use my bedroom, I'll see if I can find some people who are willing to double up so you can have your own place... for as long as you want to stay." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She watched him with an unreadable expression. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Where are you going to sleep?" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| He stared at her for a moment, then his face broke into a smile. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "I'm sorry." He chuckled. "I didn't mean that the way it must have sounded. You can use my quarters for as long as you need them. I don't think I'll find any time to sleep at all for the next 24 hours. There's just so much I need to take care of. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| And if I do get tired, I'll make myself comfortable on someone's couch." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| She nodded, and although she tried to hide it, Chakotay could see the relief on her face. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| "Come on, I'll show you to your temporary home." | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Feed me!!! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| On to part IV | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Back to part II | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Back to my archive | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||