My Angel's Story
Kirstin Elizabeth Levinson
(8/11/1990)
I became pregnant in early November of 1989. It was my third child, I already had 2 boys. Then the sonogram came to tell me I was carrying a girl. What joy, my dream was being fulfilled at last!!! This is how I was hoping my children would come, a boy first to protect his little sister. I was estatic to have 2 boys and now a precious little girl. She was due August 18th, 1990.
With this pregnancy I was attending a women's clinic at a very well known hospital. I will not reveal the hospital's name due to the legal technicalities. At this clinic it was residents and nurses that you saw, and they consulted with the doctor before they could proceed with any diagnosis.
The pregnancy went well until my 8 month. Then I began to experience quite a bit of swelling in my feet. I was retaining water. I brought it up to the resident, but he didn't seem too worried about it. He was more concerned with my past history, and thought it would be a good idea to take Kirstin by cesarean as well. Plus I was carrying her breech, and she was not turning. But he was only a resident and had to consult the doctor, he said he would note it on my chart. At my next appointment it was a different resident. I asked if anything was written in my chart about the cesarean, and he said no. So he said he would schedule a sonogram for me and then would make a decision from there, but it wouldn't be finalized until he conferred with the doctor. The sonogram was scheduled for Monday, August 13th.
On Thursday, August 9th, I started experiencing some cramping. I thought maybe I am finally going into labor. How will I know? As my 2 boys were delivered cesarean. I took lamaze classes with my eldest son and didn't take a refresher course. But I thought I think I will know when the time comes. By late that morning the cramping became a little stronger and lasting a little longer. And I'm thinking, this may be it! I sure hope so!!! By early afternoon, the cramps were coming on regular intervals, about every 20 minutes. I'm saying, I really think this it, and I'm gonna call the doctor to see if he thinks this it. And when he thinks I should leave for the hospital because I lived 25 miles away.
The resident or doctor that was on call took my information and told me to drink 8-10 glasses of water or juice, and to lay on my left side to make the labor pains to go away. I thought this was totally crazy because I was only a week away from my due date! I remembered from the lamaze classes that if you are in labor and walk, it will help progress the labor. I had some grocery shopping to do, so I did. I then went home and prepared dinner for my boys and I. No sooner did I finish eating when I got a sharp pain! I looked and my oldest son, who was only 9 at the time, and told him to get the neighbor. She came running, timed my contractions, felt my belly and said, " Oh yes, you are definitley in labor!" So I called my parents and told them I was in labor and on my way to drop the boys off.
My neighbor drove me to drop off the boys. My dad met me at the door and said I'm going to get the younger one settled, and then I will meet you there! And then we were off!
The hospital had me go directly to the maternity floor and they put me in an exam room. Now this is where my memory becomes rather fuzzy as the events happened quickly. To this day it still seems like I was in another world when this all happened.
The next thing I remember is the nurse coming in to check the baby's heartbeat, and not being able to get it. This is where I started to become nervous and afraid, very afraid. I asked her what is going on? Is everything alright? I don't remember all of her reply except that she wanted to do a sonogram. When she came back to do the sonogram she wasn't alone. There was lots of people with her. Now I am totally terrified, I know in my heart that something is very wrong. The next thing I remember, is them doing the sonogram and showing me how perfectly developed my precious baby girl is. And then they went to show me her heart and said, "This is your baby's heart, and it's not beating. She's dead!" I began crying hysterically and screaming. In the meantime, one of the nurses or doctor went out and told my dad the news. He came in, laid his down on my belly where Kirstin was, and cried too.
This is also where my labor stopped progressing. They finally ended up inducing me on Saturday morning. She was finally delivered at 3:55 that afternoon. She was 4 lbs 7 oz and 17 1/2 inches long with blonde curly hair.
Nine days later, on August 20th,1990 my sweet little girl, Kirstin Elizabeth was buried with her paternal great-grandfather.
An autopsy was completed. The results they found was that I had a blank spot on my placenta, and that the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Their comments was that she could have survived the lack of oxygen from the placenta, but when the cord wrapped it was too much and placed her in distress.
I feel to this day, had they completed the ceseraen section when they first talked about it, she would be alive today. I think there is a serious case of malpractice here. But the loss of her was so great that I didn't follow up on it. I wish I had been a little stronger so that I could have done something, whereas now the statue of limitaions has probably run out.
My final note is: A prayer to all the parents out there who have experienced the loss of a child. I feel your pain and share your grief. There is no other loss in this world that is greater than the loss of one of our precious children. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
May God Bless You Always~
Please visit the poem that expresses my feelings since the day I lost her:
May I Be Excused?
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