Gundam Galaxy Fanfics: Armor Fati "Amor Fati" Part I - Forgiven, Not Forgotten by Ardra Landru *** Relena tip-toed up the stairs, careful not to let the fork slide on the china saucer. She winced as a step creaked under a misplaced foot. She went the rest of the way to her room in utter silence, not wanting to wake anyone with a sound, taking careful steps and feeling her way in the pitch-black corridor. ^Almost there . . . .^ Her thoughts were halted when she saw light escaping from her slightly ajar bedroom door. She stopped mid-stride and squeezed her eyes shut, preparing herself for what she was about to face. Then, she took a deep breath and pushed to door open. "Where have you been." His voice held no emotion. Relena gathered herself up. "I was in the kitchen," she said defensively, "I got a little hungry." This was met by silence. Light, but she hated this. She changed tactics. "Were you worried for me, Heero?" Heero simply grunted and looked at her plate. "Turkey?" Relena stopped herself just short of glancing down. She wouldn’t show weakness. ^Taking this a bit seriously, aren’t we, Relena?^ She simply nodded in response to Heero’s question, meeting his gaze. "At two in the morning?" His voice wasn’t mocking, simply stating a fact. Another nod. Heero grunted again. Relena glanced at Heero once more, watching her from his place by the wall, then started to walk towards her bed. She did look down, then, and she very nearly missed a step. She forced herself to stop the bright flush flooding her cheeks under Heero’s watchful gaze as she realised what she was wearing. A very short -- well above her knees -- night gown. Eventually, though, she shrugged inwardly and kept moving. ^He’s seen me in more compromising positions than this. (Author’s note: okay, maybe he hasn’t in the series, but you can pretend for me, can’t you? :-) And he’s hardly gawking.^ It was true. He didn’t stare. But then, he didn’t look away, either, like any decent man would. Then again, this *was* Heero. Before she got five full steps from the doorway, however, she dropped the plate and turned sharply on her heel, holding her stomach, and rushed for the bathroom. Heero’s stone-faced facade slipped for a moment into worry and surprise, before he replaced it firmly and followed Relena calmly. He stood silently behind her as she kneeled on the clean linoleum and retched for a full minute, then bent to help her up to stand on unsteady legs, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and casting sheepish looks at him through long eyelashes. He supported her with an arm around her waste, her arm across his shoulder, and walked her back to her bedroom where he lay her down on her bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. He didn’t say a word, merely took it all in as a matter of course. He moved to the bedside table and picked up a glass of water that a maid had put there during the day. He handed it to Relena, then pushed it at her -- without really seeming to push -- when she refused. She took it. "I feel fine, now. Thank you, Heero." Heero simply nodded, then moved to pick up the pieces of meat that had fallen off the plate, placing the plate on the coffee table in the middle of the room. When he was finished he moved to his pallet on the floor near her bed, but he just sat down, cross-legged, watching her. Relena lay there for some time, uneasy under his scrutiny, then finally kicked her legs over the edge of the bed. "Look, Heero, I told you, I’m --" Another sudden wave of nausea hit her like a physical blow, and she once again staggered off to the washroom. Heero followed again and watched impassively. When she was finished again, she looked up at Heero wryly as he offered his hand to help her up. Then she took his hand and walked awkwardly back again. Unfortunately, it didn't end there. Sixteen more times during the night, she had to rush out of the room. By the fifteenth time she had grown past unsteady to weak, and she had gathered a bit of an audience. "Wha's goin' on?" Duo squinted in the sudden light as he exited his room and scratched the back of his head with a long, jaw-cracking yawn. His hair was askew, and sticking out in quite a comical fashion, but Quatre regarded him seriously. "Relena's sick." Quatre had been the first to wake, right after the third round. Duo was the last -- all the Gundam pilots but Heero were crowding the hall, as well as Hilde, Noin, Sally, Catherine, and Milliardo (Light, we've got the whole group together, eh?) -- and his room was right across from the shared bathroom. The guy could sleep through anything. He was wide awake, now, and casting worried glances at the bathroom door. He yawned again. Quatre wished he wouldn't do that -- he had to shove a fist in his own mouth to stifle his yawn in response to Duo's. "What's wrong? Is she okay?" Quatre sighed and repeated what he knew for the sixth time. As far as he knew, Relena was fine. She was a bit tottery, but that was to be expected when you sicked up every 20 minutes. Yes, Heero was in there with her. No, Duo shouldn't go help. Yes, this has been going on all night. No, they hadn't called 911. That last one was pushing it a bit, Quatre thought, but he humoured Duo. The guy was tired, after all. The conversation was halted abruptly when the door swung open, and a very jittery Relena emerged, more than half carried by Heero, who managed to look entirely unperturbed, despite the slight circles under his eyes. Dim sunlight spilled through cracks in the curtains on the far wall, casting a glow over motes of dust that never seemed to settle. "Jousan!" Duo exclaimed. Relena gave him a weak smile. "Don't worry, Jousan, I had a friend a while ago who went through this exact same thing, to the letter, and there was nothing wrong with her. Of course, that was right before she found out she was --" He cut off abruptly and his eyes widened as if something had just occurred to him that he hadn't thought of before, but suddenly seemed so obvious. Relena cast him a few sidelong looks before Heero pulled her back in the direction of her bedroom. She leaned heavily on him for support, and she wanted to kick herself for it. She could take care of herself, thank you very much. But it was hard to act dignified when you needed someone to keep you from falling on your face. Heero lay her on the bed again with a deftness and overall gentleness that belied his cold eyes. She glanced over at the clock on the wall. ^7:00am^ She was exhausted. She closed her eyes, meaning to catch the last few moments of sleep before her next inevitable eruption. Except that that didn’t come. She slowly felt herself finally drifting off to sleep, a comfortable sleep, unmarred by dreams. She was too exhausted to dream. *** "You know, I’d agree with you, except for the tiny little issue of you being WRONG!" "C’mon, Hilde, hear me out!" Duo exclaimed in the corner where he had drawn Hilde away from the group. "Duo, you’ve had some pretty pigheaded ideas in your time, but this one really takes the cake." "Look, I’m not saying it’s true, it’s just kinda suspicious, you know? All the symptoms match up. And . . . well, Heero has been spending a lot of extra time with her lately, and . . . ." "All right, that’s it. I’ve heard enough. *Heero*? Duo, you’ve really flipped. They’ve been telling me for years, and now I finally believe them. You’re nuts." Hilde threw up her hands and stalked off in the other direction, leaving Duo with his mouth open. "So tell me how you *really* feel about it, Hilde," he muttered wryly to no one in particular. *** Due to the unusual night, breakfast didn’t manage to push its way into the schedule until almost noon. Duo was, again, the last to stagger into the kitchen, yawning his head off. "Brunch!" The entire group was gathered at a long table in the kitchen, something they had taken to doing for breakfast. It seemed more casual than the large dining room. Relena and Heero were the only two absent, and they were the main subject of conversation over coffee and bagels. "Do you think it could be a reaction to her surgery last month?" Hilde asked Sally, since she seemed to be the best to ask about medical things. Sally shrugged. "Could be, but that had nothing to do with her stomach. I don’t think I’ve heard of a case like this relating to the removal of an appendix. More likely it’s just a bug, or maybe stress." "Stress? She’s on vacation!" Noin answered for Sally. "Just think about it, Duo. Sure, she’s on break, but think about why. She hasn’t seen most of you for over a year, and all of a sudden you’re flooding her house for Christmas. Not that you’re not welcome. But it’s hard for her to suddenly have all of you back in her life. Especially Heero, and he’s never out of her sight. He sleeps on a pallet in her room, for Pete’s sake." Everyone in the room nodded after a moment, agreeing, but Duo still muttered "Who could be stressed out with us as friends," half joking. "So you just think it’s stress?" Hilde asked. Sally nodded, and Hilde turned to Duo. "See," she hissed, "She’s not pregnant!" The room was silent for a moment, and Hilde clamped a hand over her mouth with a muffled "oops" before everyone erupted with comments and questions. "Pregnant??" "What gave you that idea?!" "This is your stupid idea of a joke, isn’t it, Duo!" "That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard!" "Injustice!" Poor Duo went wide-eyed under the barrage, then got a defiant look on his face, though he did raise up his hands defensively. "Hey, hey, don’t look at me like that! It was just an observation. I didn’t say it was true." The noise faded and Noin looked at Duo sceptically. "Care to elaborate?" Duo paused and darted glances around the room like a trapped rabbit, then spoke up. "Well, I just thought, since all of Relena’s symptoms are just like those of a friend of mine a while ago who turned out to be . . . you know . . . pregnant, and Heero’s been spending so much . . . time . . . and . . . uh . . ." he trailed off when no one seemed to be agreeing with him. "Well, you never know!" he exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest and plopping down in a chair. "Is that all?" Sally asked quietly. Duo just nodded uncertainly. "Well, it's determined easily enough." Sally got up and headed up the stairs towards Relena's room. *** Relena blinked groggily as she looked up to see Sally looming over her. She sat up against her pillow. She felt remarkably well after last night's events. "Yes?" "We've had some interesting propositions from the breakfast table, and I thought I’d come up here to clear them up." Sally proceeded to ask several questions, trying not to let on exactly what she was talking about, about how long Relena had been eating strangely, and how was her menstrual cycle was going. Sally’s eyes widened after a moment, and when she looked down at the floor beside Relena’s bed her eyes got even wider, then she turned and walked out of the room, leaving a bewildered Relena. ^What was that all about?^ Relena glanced down at the floor to see what could have surprised Sally so much, but all she saw was Heero sleeping there, and Sally had already known about that. It did get Relena on another train of thought, though, seeing Heero there. She hadn’t seen Heero in over a year, and she was just starting to get back into the swing of things without him, when suddenly he showed up on her doorstep with all the other Gundam pilots. Well, sure she had invited them, but it was still pretty overwhelming. And Heero hadn’t let her out of his sight since he had entered the house. It was like he was making up for all his time away. But the way he treated her was hardly what she had expected. He acted as though she were made of porcelain in a room full of bulls. He watched every bite go down when she ate, put her to bed when *he* thought it reasonable, and followed her around like a lapdog, though he was hardly compliant. Her feelings for him were horribly jumbled, and his treatment of her was starting to get on her nerves. But he wasn’t doing any of that at the moment, just sleeping peacefully, the one time when he truly did seem at peace. And she allowed herself a moment to admire him, and to thank Heaven that he was back in her life, no matter how screwed up he made it seem. He radiated strength that seemed to seep into her whenever he was around, and she needed that strength, now more than ever. He was her touchstone. Relena remembered how her heart had jumped at the first sight of him, in spite of herself. She had just convinced herself that she was old enough not to act like a giddy schoolgirl. She had forgotten the effect he had on her. Relena sat up and stepped out of bed, and with that small movement Heero was wide-awake. ^How could he be sound asleep when Sally’s in here talking up a storm, but if I move a muscle he snaps like a mouse trap?^ All of her irritation with him sprang back with full force, and she didn’t say a word as she marched out of the room and down the stairs, with him at her heel. *** "This is impossible," Sally kept muttering to herself as she passed bright paintings and gilded lamps and ivory-inlayed tables in the long, brightly-lit corridor between the staircase and the kitchen. It simply wasn’t possible. She was still muttering when she entered the kitchen. "What’s impossible?" Quatre asked worriedly. Sally paused, then decided it was probably best not to leave things up to Duo’s imagination. "To all appearances . . ." Everyone was on the edge of their respective seats, "Duo is . . . quite possibly . . . correct." A collective sigh was let out, only to be gathered again in a great gasp. "You mean she’s . . ." "I think so." "And that means the father is . . ." "As far as I can tell." Suddenly, everyone was talking at once. Only Milliardo remained silent, and he practically oozed fury. After a moment, he got up and stalked out of the kitchen. Away from Relena’s room. "Please, everyone, quiet down. Now, I don’t know for sure that it’s true. I would still like to run some tests to make sure. And we’ll all obviously have some questions for Miss Relena, but I don’t think now is the time. So when she comes down, please, *please,* try to act normal." Sally glanced around the room. "On second thought, don't act normal. Then she'll really think something's up." Despite her warning, she could tell by the looks on everyone’s faces when Relena and Heero entered the room together, that today would not be, by any stretch of the imagination, normal. *** Duo decided that, for once, just to prove to everyone that he could, he would keep silent. He leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head with a smug expression on his face as he watched everyone stare dumbly at the entering couple. ^I knew it. heh heh But who ever thought that guy would let his guard down that much?^ Heero looked, for all intents and purposes, like he had no idea that everyone in the room was staring at him, or, at least, like he didn’t care. But Duo didn’t fall for it this time. This guy had emotions. He had to, if Relena was . . . Duo had been right all along. ^heh heh^ Everyone was staring at the couple, but then just as suddenly they all studiously looked away, looking at anything else, trying their hardest to look casual. They avoided looking at Heero and Relena so pointedly that they might as well have pointed and screamed. And yet Heero still looked oblivious. Relena, on the other hand, noticed very quickly. She seemed to be trying to decide who would likely be the cause of such a situation. "Duo?" He looked up at her innocently. "Hey, Jousan, good to see you’re better!" He couldn’t help adding a "Hey, Heero," without looking at him, stifling a grin. Duo saw Heero watching him from out of the corner of his eye. "What’s going on, Duo? Why is everyone looking at me strangely?" "I don’t see anyone looking at you strangely, Relena," Duo blinked at her, hoping to convince her that he was genuinely confused. It didn’t quite work. She looked at him suspiciously as she moved to talk to Noin. ^I wonder if she knows, herself.^ "Good morning, Relena. Do you feel up to breakfast?" Noin asked, making a very good show of complete innocence. ^Good to know one of us can do it, anyway. Seems Noin is the only one.^ "Yes, thank you. I'm actually feeling much better," She glanced behind her, "Thanks to Heero." A series of coughs echoed from various people following this statement, and Relena cast another round of suspicious glares around the room. She leaned closer to Noin, who seemed to be the only normal person at the table. "What's going on here, Noin? Everyone is acting so strangely." Noin just shrugged dismissively -- She really did amaze Duo with how well she did that -- and guided Relena and Heero to two empty chairs near the end of the long table. She took extra care, making sure Relena sat down gently, all the while with a maternal glow in her eyes, but Relena didn't seem to notice. She seemed to have decided that Noin was the only normal person in the room, and having decided that, was henceforth going to ignore anything strange that Noin might do. "Where did Milliardo go?" "So many questions, Relena. He's probably off working somewhere," That wasn't exactly a lie; he *could* have been working. "Now eat something. Get your strength back up." ^Smooth, Noin. Real smooth.^ After Relena took her first bite, everyone appeared to relax a bit. A friendly banter filled the room, a relief from the stretching awkward silences a few moments before. Relena and Heero mostly listened, while Duo, Hilde, Sally, and occasionally Quatre carried most of the conversation. "Duo, why don't you tell everyone how you got that scar on your mouth." "Ha!" Duo grinned, fully appreciating being the centre of attention. "Well, I was just minding my own business in the salvage yard -- " "Ah, yes," Hilde interrupted with a sarcastic tone, "Gardening, weren't you? With a little bonnet on and skipping from flower to flower?" Duo smirked. "Yes. I believe I was working on my pansies." The produced quite a laugh. "Anyway, there was a bit of work going on on the top floor of one of the buildings, and Sean -- he works there -- leaned out of one of the windows, holding out a heavy piece of metal out in front of him. And apparently he wanted me to see it. So he yells 'Hey, Duo!' And just as I look up, it slips from his grasp and conks me on the head." Duo grimaced. "Five stitches." "And he's been loose-lipped ever since." Duo glared at Hilde and looked frighteningly close to sticking his tongue out at her before he looked away. "And then there was the time when Quatre and I were fixing the windshield on one of his cars." Quatre laughed lightly. "I wanted to send it in to be done professionally, but Duo insisted he knew what he was doing." "It was just a leak, so I set about putting that rubber glue around the outside to seal it. And I was just cleaning up my work with a razor, when this kid that neither of us had ever seen before --" "What was his name? Steve?" "No . . . Stanley!" Duo said, laughing. "Stanley. He dashed through the back door and announces with this strange lisp, 'Hi, boys, Stanley's here!' "We had no idea who this boy was, or how he'd gotten in," Quatre started in, "and he just came in and asked us what we were doing. Duo, deciding to play a little game with the poor boy, said 'Oh, we're just removing this windshield.' And Stanley said 'won't that take an awfully long time?'" "Heh heh, we knew we had a keeper. 'Oh, Thtanley, you're tho thilly.'" "Oh, yes, Duo said that. Tsk tsk." Quatre smiled kindly. Breakfast went smoothly like that, everyone exchanging stories from the time they had all spent apart since the end of the war. Actually, Duo did most of the telling, with Hilde adding in comments and opinions of her own now and then, inducing a "Hey, no editorials!" from a frustrated Duo. Relena watched with a soft smile. As strange as it sometimes was, it was nice to have everyone together again after so long. It had been so long since they had all gotten together after the war. Relena had seen several of them over the comm, for business or just to catch up, but Wufei and Heero had been the exceptions. She hadn't seen either of them at all until she had decided to get everyone together for Christmas. Apparently Noin had had a hand in this, however, and had had everyone come two weeks early. They had already been there for half a week. It was almost routine, now, to get up and find everyone already gathered at the table, chattering away. She hadn't gotten any proper work done since that first day, which was appropriately irritating, but they simply wouldn't let her into her office since they had found her trying to tie up some loose ends on the day of their arrival. Apparently Noin had had a hand in that, as well. Relena tuned herself back into the conversation. Duo and Hilde seemed to be having a good-natured argument, laughing all the while. "And what if I wasn't a Gundam pilot? What if I were a total wuse?" Hilde just laughed. "Would I be *your* wuse?" Hilde nodded. "Well, then, that's okay." Duo grinned. "You'd want to be spineless?" Hilde asked, forcing her face into some semblance of seriousness. "I can be spineless. You want me to be spineless?" Duo flopped back in his chair, looking up at Hilde with his head at an unnatural angle. "I'll be whatever you want me to be." He squeaked in a funny voice. Hilde laughed and tried to push Duo's head back up. "Would you grow a spine, please?" Duo immediately popped back into position with a grin. "If that's what you want." "You are so weird!" "I am. But I'm more fun that way, don't you think?" Relena shook her head. Yes. She had missed this. "Is it okay if I have my jacket on your chair, Duo?" "Yes, please." Hilde let out an exasperated sigh and shook her head, though she was still grinning. She reached back and yanked on Duo's braid. "How do I put up with you?" Duo just grinned and, for once, remained silent. Relena suddenly felt an urge to go out and do something. She couldn't think of what. She just wanted to spend time with her friends. When was the last time she had gone out for the sole purpose of having fun with people her own age? Sometimes it felt like she wasn't even a teen anymore. She felt so old, sometimes. ^I deserve to enjoy my childhood for a few weeks, don't I?^ She looked around the table. "Hey, does anyone want to go out today? Maybe go into town? See a movie? And ideas?" Silence was her response. No one wanted to risk getting Relena out of the house and into the public eye, but no one could think of any excuse. Surprisingly, it was Wufei that came to the rescue. "I have an idea," he said stoically. "Right, Wufei," Duo interrupted, "Your idea of excitement is mixing a scoop of real coffee in with the decaf." Duo laughed heartily at his own joke, and Wufei glared daggers at him. "Say that again, Maxwell!" he growled. Duo threw his hands up defensively. "Nothing, Wu-man. Just tell us your idea." Wufei, still glaring at Duo, continued. "I thought we might be able, if Quatre is willing, to take a trip out to one of his more isolated estates to rest. It would make for good variety for Relena, and would probably be safer than here since no one will know exactly where she is." That last was directed at Heero, who nodded slightly. "That'd be fine," Quatre said enthusiastically. "We can go any time. I'll just need to inform the staff . . . It's up to you, Relena." That wasn't exactly what she had had in mind. But they were right, it would provide a bit of variety, and it would appease Heero that she was safe . . . "That would be wonderful, Quatre, if you'd be willing." Relena smiled. Quatre smiled back. "It's settled, then. I'll just make a few calls. I'll be back in a minute." "Relena," Noin announced, "Why don't you go with him? You may need to give him some specific times." "All right, Noin." (Light, that makes her sound gullible . . . but I had to get her out of the room . . . . ) Relena stood up and pushed her chair in, then walked off in the direction Quatre had disappeared in. Noin, Sally, Catherine, Heero, Wufei, Duo, Hilde, and Trowa remained. "Good idea, Wufei," Catherine exclaimed. Wufei ignored her. "Noin, you're my hero," Duo said when Relena's footsteps faded. Hilde yanked on his braid again. "You know what? I think Duo and I will adjourn to our room for a bit. He's left the realm of serious discussion. See ya." And with that they left. "Thanks for discussing it with the group before announcing it to Relena, Wufei," Sally snapped. "Better than anything you thought of, woman." "Don't *CALL* me that! My name is SALLY!" "Stop it, both of you," Noin said, "As long as we're going through with this, there are some things to deal with. First of all, how are we going to get Relena to Quatre's estate safely? I'm assuming it's the one in Newfoundland? That's the closest one to here that's far from any civilisation." "We may have to deal with that when Quatre comes back. You never know what resources he might pull out of his sleeves," Sally replied, anger at Wufei temporarily quenched. "Whatever we do, we will need to take extra care. In her apparent condition, we won't want to take any risks. We do seem to have the right guys for the job, though." Sally's gesture took in all three of the present pilots, but she focused on Heero. Noin nodded thoughtfully. "So we'll be spending Christmas up there, eh? All right. That will take some arrangements. Catherine, can I leave that to you?" Catherine nodded brightly. "Good. And someone will need to tell Milliardo . . . I'll take care of that." She sighed. She wasn't looking forward to that particular job. "In fact, I think I'll do that now. Get it over with," she added under her breath. With that, she left the room. Catherine muttered something about talking to the staff in the palace, then darted out of the room. "If anything happens to her, I will kill whoever messed up." "What are you belly-aching about, Heero?" Duo bounced back into the room, minus one Hilde. "Quatre's place is way the heck off in the middle of no where. Keeping Jousan safe will be easy as walking." To emphasise this, he took a little jump, but when he landed, he tripped over his own feet and went sprawling on his face across the room. When he pulled himself up off the floor he gave Heero a wry look. "I'd say that crossed the line from ironic coincidence to evil omen," he groaned. There was a moment of silence when Heero regarded Trowa and Wufei with a solemn expression, then left the room after Relena and Quatre. *** Heero strode through the corridor, noting the gilded frames and colourful mosaics lining the walls, with the occasional paper-thin porcelain vase. Since the war had ended, Relena had never reclaimed the title of Queen, but that was how the rest of the world viewed her, as well as most of the political figures. Most of her suggestions were passed as law. She was a queen without her diadem. This palace had been built for her, against her better wishes, but accepted as a gift from a number of high-ranking political officials, as a symbol of her call to reign. She had tried to discourage the use of the name Queen Relena, but to no avail. When she occasionally was pushed to shout "Stop calling me that!" at some of the younger ones who took it a bit overboard, they only bowed formally and asked "Her majesty, the Queen’s" forgiveness. The people needed a ruler like her. If there had to be a ruler, Heero could think of no one better suited for the job of ruling the world -- and the colonies, now. She was kind, intelligent, and with a real head on her shoulders. Very few would stand openly against her. She was truly loved by her people. But it was eating her up inside. Heero could see it, even if no one else could. It wasn't the responsibility, exactly. She seemed to take pride in that. Nor was it the worry. But it was an awfully large workload for such delicate shoulders. There was a tightness around her eyes that spoke of late nights and she was definitely not eating enough. He should have been there. He should have been there to help her carry that load. He could have kept her strong. He knew he could have, if he had only stayed. But he had been selfish. He had thought it had been for the best at the time, but really he had only been protecting himself. After all his years of fighting and killing and hurting, he had become fearless. He had never been insecure about the world he'd been living in. In all his life he'd never found anything he couldn't resist or turn away from. He could walk away from anyone he'd ever known . . . but he couldn't walk away from Relena. He had never let anything have so much control over him. He'd worked far too hard to call his life his own. His world had worked so perfectly until her. No, he'd never been afraid of anything before . . . but then, he'd never had so much to lose. And now he was terrified. What a wretched feeling. ^I haven't felt emotions for most of my life . . . why now? And why this? What's wrong with me?^ Then his thoughts shifted to that morning. Everyone's reactions had been very strange when they had walked into the kitchen. Unnatural, even. He had no idea what could have caused them, but that was a problem for another time. ^Noted and logged. Next file.^ Wufei's suggestion was acceptable. If they didn't get Relena out of the house, she would eventually leave on her own, and Heero didn't even want to think of the repercussions of that. And she would be safe there. The estate on the coast of Newfoundland was suitably isolated. Acceptable. His thoughts were cut off as he approached Relena from behind. Quatre was talking on the phone and smiled at Heero when he walked up. Heero touched Relena's elbow. She gave a start, then turned and met his gaze. Heero's breath caught in his throat. Light, but a man could drown in those eyes and be happy doing it. ^Stoppit.^ the Perfect Soldier inside him screamed. ^She just looked at you. Keep your mind on your mission.^ Heero forced his face to stay blank. Quatre held the receiver to his chest, and Heero snapped his gaze onto the other pilot's face. "What?" Quatre's eyes darted between Heero and Relena for a moment, his mouth almost quirked into a small smile -- ^note that^ -- and then he turned back to Heero. "Should be fine. I was just talking to Verin, the head maid, and she said she should have everything organised by the time we get there. I thought we might have a little more fun actually driving up there. It'll take a while, maybe two or three days, but I think a road trip could be fun. That's not a problem, right?" Heero gave a slight shake of his head. Quatre nodded and turned back to the phone, clarifying things for Verin. *** Relena almost smiled. The way Quatre was talking to Heero . . . it was like he was giving a soldier's report. Heero had managed to weasel his way to the command. No, she thought, not weasel. He belonged there. He was a leader. She just barely suppressed a sigh. He was just the kind of person she needed to help run a government . . . no. She would spend no more time swooning over some boy. Why had Quatre looked at her like that? They had all been acting so strange, but no one would tell her why. Maybe Quatre would. He would if she asked directly, she knew that. She couldn't see Quatre lying to her. Or to anyone, for that matter. She would make a point of doing that later. A road trip. ^I think I like that.^ Could be a lot of fun. Could be a disaster. ^I guess I'll just have to hope for the former.^ It could be a bonding experience. They could end up hating each other. There were some things you just didn't want to learn about the people you called your friends, especially this particular group . . . they just had to make sure they kept Duo and Wufei from each other’s throats . . . and maybe Heero and Milliardo, as well. That last might actually be harder. Relena couldn't understand the animosity between Heero and her brother. She could have understood had it been their old argument, maybe, or a bit remaining from all of their fighting during the war; they had been on opposing sides. But that didn't seem to have anything to do with it. Relena actually seemed to be the centre of it . . . It was all so confusing. Every time Relena walked into a room with Heero, Milliardo would shoot death glares at Heero and gently guide Relena away from him. Heero would remain silent and watch her go, but the cold fury in his eyes as she left was purely terrifying. She would have to figure out what was going on before she could smooth things over enough to make sure the two didn't kill each other if they were ever left alone. So many things to worry about . . . but she would try to enjoy herself. For her sake as well as that of her friends. "A road trip," she said out loud when Quatre hung up the phone, "That sounds great. When do we leave? *** Well, there it is. Part one. Hope you liked it. As always, comments, praises, marriage proposals, and Belgian chocolates are welcome. All criticisms can be directed to that brick wall over there. Just kidding, that brick wall’s e-mail addy is [email protected] Please tell me what you think, feedback is one of the best parts of the job! I’ll love you forever . . . . ;-) Cheers from the Smiling Land! -- Ardra Okey, usual disclaimers apply, yada yada yada . . . again, I’ll just have to refer all of you lawyers out there, hiding in the brush, waiting for a chance to attack . . . You won’t catch me slipping! I’ll have to refer you all to the general disclaimer from whatever site this happens to be posted on, due to the fact that I (still) don’t know exactly whom I’m deferring to in this. Here we go! "Amor Fati" Part II - Day Has Turned by Ardra Landru *** "We’re *what*??" "Duo, relax. It’s just a car trip." "*Just a car trip*??? I get carsick. Reeeeally carsick. Hilde, you can’t be serious!" "I am very serious. Come on, I refuse to believe that you can go swinging about, crashing into things and flying in space in that Gundam of yours, and a little car ride can throw your stomach out of whack." "That’s exactly my point! I’m used to the Gundams! Just driving in a car . . . it pulls this whole whammy on my system!" Hilde looked at him sceptically. "Please explain to me the scientific nature of a ‘whammy.’" Duo just glared at her as Quatre came into the room. "Quatre! Buddy! Say it ain’t so!" "Sorry, Duo. You were out-voted. Anyway," Quatre lowered his voice and looked around before continuing, making sure they three were the only occupants of the room, "This isn’t what I told Relena and Heero, but . . . A car ride would be much easier on someone in Relena’s condition than a plane or helicopter. Maybe you can just keep your eyes closed the whole trip." "For 48 hours??" Duo collapsed onto the couch, defeated. Hilde appeared to take pity on the poor boy and sat next to him, running her fingers through his hair with a sympathetic expression. "I refuse to remain in an enclosed space with *that one* 48 hours!" Came an exclamation from the doorway. Quatre turned to see Wufei pointing accusingly at Duo. Duo appeared to be ignoring him, putting all of his energy into looking pathetic and self-pitying. Quatre stepped into the space between the two. "Wufei, I’m sorry, but it’s already been decided." He was genuinely sorry; he didn’t enjoy seeing people suffer, no matter how apparently silly the cause. "You can sit in the front if you want. Duo won’t be bothering you much, anyway. Apparently he gets car sick." "Ha!" Wufei barked a laugh. "Justice is served!" He exclaimed, seating himself in a chair on the opposite side of the room. Trowa and Heero entered silently, shortly before Relena came in with the rest of the women, all chattering about what had been arranged and what they would do when they got to the mansion. Noin and Milliardo still hadn’t returned. Quatre wished they would hurry a bit; they would be leaving soon. *** Noin sat silently, watching Milliardo’s back as he paced to the wall, then turned and paced back, is hands clasped behind his back. Her lips tightened. "Zechs, I don’t understand why you’re so upset about this. It will keep her safe. That’s what you want, isn’t it?" Milliardo stopped dead and stared at her as if he had just realised she was there. "Of *course* that’s what I want!" he snapped, "I care about her more than anyone! But leaving her there . . . with that *boy* . . ." he snarled. "You do realise you’re welcome to come along, don’t you?" "Someone has to be here to run the government while she’s gone, don’t they?" He moderated his tone. "It *is* a good idea. She needs her rest. But I can’t help but feel uneasy about it all." "Zechs, if you want her safe, Heero Yuy is the best person for her to be with. You know that. I can tell just by seeing the way he looks at her that he would never let anything happen to her. And certainly not to his own child --" she cut off abruptly. Now *that* had been the wrong thing to say. ^Open mouth, insert foot,^ she thought, mentally slapping herself in the forehead. Milliardo was glaring daggers at her. No, not really at her: through her. Picturing Heero, no doubt. Noin dug for a way to fix this. "I’m going with them, too," she announced, then stopped, surprised she had spoken, then went on. "Yes, and I’ll keep her safe myself. And Sally will be there, and all the other pilots. You don’t have anything against them, do you?" Milliardo grunted, but he appeared appeased. "Well, I’d better get out there. They’ll be wanting to leave soon." She got up and started to walk away, then turned back. "Thank you." With that she left. *** "There you are, Miss Noin. Miss Relena and the rest have been waiting for you." The plump young maid hustled Noin into the foyer where everyone had apparently moved with all of their luggage, as well as several bags of Christmas presents that were to go along. As soon as they saw her coming, they started piling out the door and into to van that was parked outside. Duo groaned. "Not only am I going to be sick, I’m going to be *cold* and sick." He started to bang his head on the side of the van, then Hilde grabbed him and dragged him in to sit next to her in the middle seat. Noin followed and sat next to him. Then Relena hopped into the very back, and Heero followed dutifully behind. Sally sat in the back with them. Wufei took the front passenger seat, and Trowa had decided he wanted to drive. Quatre pushed Wufei into the middle of the front and sat next to the window, himself. Catherine would be coming out later on a plane, since she had some work to do with the circus before she could take some time off. (convenient, eh? Now there’s *just* enough room for everyone. ;-) Quatre went through a checklist of what they had to bring, making sure they had it all with them, and then signalled for Trowa to head out. The first hour of driving was uneventful, as was the hour after that, and the hour after that. Duo kept up a running monologue until other people decided to join in the conversation. Those who were willing to participate played word games, and in what seemed like no time it was time for lunch. Trowa pulled into the drive through of a local fast food restaurant, and the ensuing trial and disaster of order-taking was taken care of when Duo eventually just leaned out the window in front of Trowa and listed off what everyone wanted for him, much to Wufei’s ire. "MAXWELL! Get your butt out of my face! Injustice!" And then everyone was happily munching away on various food items, Duo still chattering away around mouthfuls, and they were on their way. After a while, Quatre pulled out a large map and spread it our across his and Wufei’s laps, trying to follow their progress and find out just where exactly the town of "Junkie’s Harbour, Michigan" was. Slowly, Duo’s mouth wound down, and eventually, as dusk fell, so did silence. Duo snuggled down with Hilde, both slouching with Hilde’s head on Duo’s shoulder, and Duo resting his chin on her hair with his eyes closed and a contented expression on his sleeping face. Wufei appeared to be dozing, as well, and Quatre was blinking continuously while trying to keep Trowa company. Sally had long since dropped off, and Noin was reading with a small flashlight in her mouth, pointed at the book in her lap. There was just something tiring about a day in the car. Relena was tired, but had yet to fall asleep. She looked out the window, watching the trees go by endlessly as the night got progressively darker. She glanced over at Heero, who had been wide awake and looking like they might be attacked at any moment for the entire trip. His head had lolled to one side and his eyes were shut tight. Relena smiled in spite of herself. She had never seen him look so vulnerable. But he would hurt his neck sleeping like that. Then, as she had an idea, she outright grinned. She pulled at his arm gently, stopped abruptly when he started to wake, then pulled again when he fell deeper into sleep. She stopped when his head was resting gently in her lap, and she ran her fingers through his unruly hair, beaming all the while. He was so beautiful there, so peaceful. She felt his deep, even breaths and started to stroke the side of his neck unconsciously as she turned to look out the window once more. Unconsciously, she matched her breathing to his. Content, she fell asleep. *** Heero awoke abruptly, blinking rapidly, trying to get a fix on his surroundings. He didn’t sit up. Thinking about that, he realised that he was lying down. ^what . . . ?^ He turned his head slightly and saw Relena up above him . . . he realised with a start that his head was in her lap. ^what the . . . .^ But there was something calming about it. She was stroking his neck, and humming softly in her sleep. He should have felt uncomfortable, or sat up, gotten away. The Perfect Soldier screamed for him to get up. But he felt so calm. Her touch was warming. It felt like he had been made for this moment. He relaxed into the moment. There was no danger, not now. And if there was, he would surely be able to get up and help whether or not he was lying down. Light, she was so beautiful. The Perfect Soldier was still screaming, but he suppressed it to a low buzz. He blinked at that; he hadn’t known he could do that. He decided that, for just a moment, just a short time, he would let go. Practically, letting his emotions loose every once in a while would probably help to contain them when it was important. He was rationalising, he knew, but he just wanted to stay in that moment for as long as he could. Relena stirred, and Heero squeezed his eyes shut. As long as she didn’t know he was awake, she could just think he was unaware, and everything could go back to normal in the morning. Just this once, he wanted to enjoy emotion. He wanted to be able to admit to himself his feelings for this girl. Just for a little bit. Light, he loved her. *** Dawn came with Wufei in the driver’s seat, and Trowa sleeping quietly in the seat Wufei had abandoned. He appeared to be the only other person awake, to Duo, who had just awakened, himself. Duo looked down at the sleeping form leaning against him and smiled. Now, what had he done to deserve her? ^Never mind that. Might as well just enjoy how unfair life is^ he thought with a grin, kissing the top of her head and returning to his observations. Sally was leaning against the window, fast asleep, as was Quatre. As he looked back, Duo found that Noin had given up on her book, and had it hanging haphazardly from one hand with her chin resting on her chest. Then, he looked back some more, and almost leaped out of his seat. Heero was gone! Duo went into momentary silent panic until he looked down and saw the soldier asleep in Relena’s lap. ^Oh, well that’s okay then -- WAIT a second, there!! Relena’s lap??^ Duo had to clamp both hands over his mouth to stifle his sudden fit of giggles. Then Hilde shifted against him and he stilled abruptly, not wanting to wake his sleeping beauty. He contented himself with thinking silently. ^Now how did Heero manage to find himself in such a compromising position, I wonder?^ He put his arm around Hilde’s shoulders to pull her closer and rested his chin back on the top of her head as he thought. Heero might not want the others to see him in that position. Maybe Duo should be a pal and wake him up before anything happened . . . but he wouldn’t be caught seeing that by Heero for all the coffee in South America! Maybe he could just throw something at him or something . . .^yeah, I’ll just throw this . . . ^ he searched around the floor for something to throw . . . ^piece of lint? No . . . rock? Maybe . . . Pen! good. I’ll just throw this pen at him, then pretend to be asleep. Great idea, Duo! What a pal!^ Duo tossed the pen at Heero’s head, then took a nose-dive into Hilde’s hair to pretend to be sleeping peacefully. *** Heero snapped awake again, and this time abruptly sat up. He searched for whatever had woken him. Relena was still asleep, Noin was sleeping now . . . Wufei and Trowa had switched places so Trowa could get some sleep while Wufei took over driving, but neither of them appeared to have noticed him lying down . . . then what? Everyone else was still asleep. Heero shrugged inwardly and began to scan his surroundings for anything that could ever possibly resemble something that might be mistaken for something threatening. *** Relena squinted in the sudden light. She opened her eyes and blinked once. She glanced out the window; the sun was well into the sky, almost half way to the zenith. She also noticed that Heero was wide-awake beside her, and also avoiding looking at her. She sighed quietly. He must have woken up in her lap. What was he thinking about, she wondered? Everyone else was awake, too. Wufei was driving, now. Noin was back to her book, Duo and Hilde were snuggling (still being quiet; is this a record for Duo??), Quatre was reading aloud to whoever wanted to listen, and Sally was just looking out the window silently. Now Relena wasn’t so surprised that she hadn’t awoken earlier; everyone was being so quiet, there had been nothing to wake her. Sally looked over. "Oh. Morning, sunshine. Welcome to the land of the living." She smiled brightly and Relena smiled back. The cobwebs were gone from her head, and she was wide-awake. And, as her stomach loudly reminded her, hungry. "I don’t suppose we could stop somewhere for something to eat soon?" "Already did," Noin said, not looking up from her book as she handed a small bag back to Relena. "We got you something for when you woke up." Relena smiled and took the bag with a mumbled ‘thank you’ and dug in. Heero was still apparently denying her existence. Blast. Then Quatre spoke up from the front. "Oh, I forgot to mention this before we left, but I’ll be having some distant relatives over as well. They were going to just have Christmas there without me since I was with you, Relena, and they’re still coming even with all of us coming . . . Uncle Gordon and Aunt Elizabeth. Uncle Gordon is an Oxford scholar, and unfortunately is a bit . . . um . . . vocal about his achievements . . . Aunt Elizabeth is an accomplished knitter, Hilde. You may want to show her that throw blanket you and Catherine have been working on, hmn?" Hilde smiled at him from her place with her head on Duo’s shoulder. Wufei grunted. Trowa and Heero remained silent, while Noin and Sally seemed to dislike the idea at first, then decided they could live with it. Relena wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that. Surely, it would be wonderful to meet some of Quatre’s family, however distant . . . but she didn’t know how much they all might like these new acquaintances. She shrugged inwardly as she finished her food and leaned her head on the back of the seat, closing her eyes and enjoying the swaying of the van as Wufei navigated it around curves and over hills. The sunlight flickered on her eyelids as trees and buildings blocked it temporarily. Quatre had resumed his reading and his kind-sounding voice filled her ears. She didn’t listen to the words, only his voice, and she suddenly felt very sleepy again. She couldn’t remember a time when she had been more relaxed. Soon, she had dozed off again into a pleasant sleep filled with pleasant dreams. *** Again, Relena awoke to chatter from the middle seat. Duo and Hilde appeared to be playing some sort of game. "Okay, let's try this one," Duo started to read from a book, "’Can you identify which of these is different?’" He pushed the book into an very unenthusiastic Hilde's face. "No," she said simply, not even bothering to glance at the picture. Duo blinked at her, then turned back to the book. "Okay, I guess we've answered that question!" "Well, they asked a simple question," Hilde protested in a mock-stern voice. "Oh, I see. Well, would you like them to command you? 'Identify which one is different.'" Duo was spreading the sarcasm as thick as it came. "But then you could just be defiant and just say 'no.'" "Aha, but then you wouldn't be answering the question, would you?" Hilde opened her mouth, then shut it and shook her head. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation." And then came the word games. Duo kept it going. And when he wasn't playing a game, he was talking, most of the time not really making any sense. Relena figured he just had to be constantly chattering, whether or not he actually had anything to say. Relena dozed quite a bit during the rest of the trip. Wufei and Trowa changed places driving again after a few more hours. They stopped at several fast food restaurants along the way, mostly due at Duo's prompting. The next time Relena woke from her sleep was when the car suddenly stopped. She blinked groggily and looked out the window . . . at a majestic mansion atop a rocky cliff. Tumultuous waves slammed themselves into the jagged boulders at the bottom, sending marvellous sprays hurtling toward the sky above. She glanced around and realised they had paused at the end of a long drive approaching the estate. "Well," Quatre spoke up, breaking into the awed silence, "There it is. Let's head up." And then the car was moving again, tires crackling on loose gravel as they slowly made their way up the shallow incline. A violent wind swayed the trees and the sky was heavy and dark. As soon as Relena stepped out of the car, the bitter cold caught her up, yet as she looked up at the brightly lit house she felt warm. There, in the front window, was a large, bright, colourful Christmas tree, and candles filled every window. Relena pushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear and moved to stand where she could see the ocean. Even at that distance she could feel light mist on her cheeks, and the salt in the air was sharp in her nose. Seagulls fought the wind in the distance, shrieking defiantly as they soared on their course. White-capped waves beat at the shore as the wind whipped them around and roared in her ears. Despite the chill and dark, it was a remarkable sight. "Relena," a voice interrupted her thoughts, "Relena, you'll freeze out here. We've got all the bags in, let's go warm up by the fire." Sally's voice. Relena snapped out of her reverie. She turned and nodded to the blonde haired woman and let herself be escorted through the main hall and into a large room filled with vivid colour. Heat seemed to radiate from the walls, and from the large stone fireplace that dominated the far wall. The stone was rough, as though simply plucked from the ground and stuck in place, yet there was no hole between these stones, and no mortar had been used. Fashioned perfectly to look totally natural. As instructed by a stiff butler in the entry, Relena had removed her shoes, and the lush green carpet in the room pampered her cramped feet. People were scattered around the room, some lounging in deep, soft, inviting couches, others seated on the floor on front of the hearth, warming their feet and hands. For Relena, the heat had already seemed to seep into her bones, so she headed to one of the plush chairs. As she moved past the Christmas tree, she saw there was yet another doorway there, this one appearing to lead to a kitchen. Quatre was standing in that doorway, talking to a round woman who was tapping a rolling pin into one palm with a meaty hand, looking very impatient with the young master. But Quatre put on that winning smile of his and said something, and she shook her head ruefully, smiling back in spite of herself, patted the boy on the head fondly, and returned to the kitchen. Quatre didn't stop smiling as he turned away and walked further into the room. His face seemed to light up the room beyond what the gilded stand-lamps could do, and it took in everyone. "It's been so long," he said, announced to no one in particular, "But these are people I grew up with. They weren't always here, of course." He sighed happily. "It's good to be here." Then he rubbed his hands together purposefully and looked at everyone in turn, still with that kind expression. "Please, make yourselves at home." He looked at the large wooden grandfather clock on the wall and blinked. "It's late . . . if any of you would like to retire, I could have Kyle show you your rooms." Kyle was the butler she had met in the front hall. Relena looked around the room, then yawned and decided not to wait for everyone else to answer. "That would be wonderful, Quatre." Quatre turned that smile on her and she grinned back. Light, but it was so genuine. Noin, Wufei, and Trowa also decided that they would like to turn in for the night. Quatre led the way out to the front hall to address Kyle, then said something about talking to his other guests and left. Relena was just looking forward to a long, restful night's sleep in a real bed. *** Hilde looked over her shoulder as Quatre re-entered the room. Sally called him over to where she was sitting on a couch and engaged him in animated conversation, and Hilde turned back to the fireplace. Suddenly, a door opened, then slammed closed. Hilde jerked her head around to see a bulky old man in the doorway next to a stringy, frail old woman. Quatre looked around, too, and his smile seemed to fade for a split second before it was back in full strength. It did seem a bit forced now, though. ^Uncle Gordon and Aunt Elizabeth, I presume?^ Quatre was on his feet in an instant, rushing over to take their coats, babbling out introductions for the present guests and keeping up a running flow of small talk that would have done Duo proud. Hilde got up from her position on the ground and sat in one of the chairs, and Quatre -- much to Hilde's vexation -- directed Uncle Gordon over to chat with her. Hilde braced herself, but had actually convinced herself that it couldn't possibly be as bad as she was making it out to be when the man started talking. "So," he started, "How does it feel to be involved in a godless political process that's rotten to the core?" Hilde gaped at the man. An Oxford scholar, was he? Enlightened, was he? Whatever Hilde had prepared herself for, and she had expected the worse, she had no idea how to respond to this. The man had just met her! "What . . ." she finally forced out speech, "What do you mean, exactly?" Then Uncle Gordon proceeded to explain to her the evils of Relena's ideals and how everything that the government stood for was leading the entire world to damnation. Hilde was wide-eyed through the whole thing, trying desperately to keep her face calm and collected, and when the unending flow of conversation had ebbed, she quietly excused herself, mumbling something about helping in the kitchen. So off she went, to the kitchen. The cook appeared nice enough, and Hilde approached her from behind. "Is there anything I can help with?" she asked the woman. The cook smiled kindly at her. "Ah, Miss Hilde. Master Quatre told me all about you and your friends. Thank you, but I think I have everything under control." Hilde leaned against the counter and looked sheepishly up at the woman. "I just had my first run-in with Uncle Gordon." The cook looked back over her shoulder. "Oh, would you like to stir this?" Hilde grinned. She knew she'd like this cook. She stood there stirring contentedly for several minutes before Aunt Elizabeth entered the kitchen to talk to the cook. "Oh, Aunt Elizabeth!" the cook began, "Hilde here knits, maybe you'd like to give her some pointers?" Hilde winced. She had brought her knitting in when Quatre had spoken up about his aunt being an accomplished knitter, but at her first sight of the woman, she had decided to avoid that. She was frail and nervous, and not a little bit scary, and not the kind of person she really wanted to learn knitting from. But, she was knee-deep in it now, so she headed out to get her knitting. "Oh, and what's this?" Aunt Elizabeth asked. "Uh, Cathy and I were working on a blanket for her place. You see, we thought we'd each do half, and then sew it together or something when we're done." Aunt Elizabeth looked critically at the knitting. "Oh, this will never work. Your yarn is curling. It'll never work." Hilde sighed inwardly. "O . . . kay . . . but we thought we could maybe press it when we were done, or . . ." "No, it will never work." Hilde looked at the woman exasperatedly. "So, what exactly are the chances of it working, would you say?" "I beg your pardon?" "Never mind." So she went downstairs to a cosy little den to hang out with Duo and Heero and the rest -- who were also avoiding Uncle Gordon and Aunt Elizabeth. Heero was sitting on a couch, staring at nothing, and Duo . . . Duo was lounging with one leg slung over the arm of the chair he was occupying, and he was studying Heero like a predator stalking its prey. ^uh-oh . . . ^ There could be trouble there . . . Duo was quite a handful. But he was too adorable. Hilde smiled and sat across the room, then closed her eyes and sighed contentedly. She opened them again when she heard Duo's voice. Duo had plopped down next to Heero and was grinning like an idiot. ^No, what's he up to now??^ "Hey, Heero, you old dog!" He reached out and slapped the guy on the back. "Never expected it from you, my friend! And Relena . . . whew! Well, how'll you handle it, bro?" Heero looked at Duo as if he had just asked why the sky was orange. "Duo, what are you talking about?" Hilde could only watch in horror as the scene spread out before her. Her body didn't seem to be listening to her brain's commands, and she was helpless to stop that stupid boy. "Your kid, Heero! Or hadn't you heard? Ol' Jousan's preggy!" Duo still had that ridiculous grin on his face, slapping the stoic pilot on the back again. Was he insane?? Hilde finally got her legs to move, and she bounded over and grabbed Duo by the braid. "Duo, I'm gonna kill you!" She hissed with a yank on his hair. "Ow! Hey, what did I do??" Hilde yanked again. "Is there not one rational thought in that thick skull of yours??" "Ow! Hey, cut that out!" Duo did look at Heero, then, and flinched visibly. He shrank back away from that gaze. "I guess he didn't know," he muttered, and Hilde gave another tug. "Hey! What did my braid ever do to you?!" Hilde just pulled harder, then dragged him away from the couch and sat him down across the room. "Next time, it'll be your --" "Okay!" Duo cut her off, pulling back and raising his hands defensively, "Hey, sorry, I just figured he knew, is all. No need to kill me, here." Quatre and Sally had just then looked over curiously. Duo making a fool of himself was hardly a curious sight, but the gleam in Heero's eyes was more than dangerous. Quatre started to approach him, hand outstretched. "Heero? Are you okay?" Heero stood up suddenly and stalked out of the room. "What's he so upset about? You'd think he'd be at least a little excited about having a kid," Duo asked to no one in particular. Suddenly, something dawned on Hilde. "Unless it's not his." *** Relena rolled over in her bed, basking in the comfort of the down mattress and pillows and the satin sheets and fluffy comforter. When the butler had shown her the room, she hadn't even glanced around, just made a beeline for the large canopy bed. As far as she was concerned, she was in Heaven. Suddenly, she froze. There was someone else in the room. She could feel it. It was like an itch between her shoulderblades, the feeling that someone was watching her. And that gaze was dangerous. She hadn't heard the door open, but there was definitely a presence there. She didn't dare move. Her heart was pounding in her ears. And suddenly she could see the intruder. He was looming over her in her bed, just standing there, not moving. Then her eyes adjusted, and she could make out his full form. She recognised that figure, that stance. "Heero?" The name slipped from her lips in a bare whisper. There was a reaction. The figure shifted, ever so slightly. It had hardly seemed a movement at all, so insignificant that Relena almost doubted it had happened. Until she felt a hand on her cheek, gently trailing down her face. Then the hand was jerked back as if burned, clenched into a fist. For a moment, it seemed he would strike her, then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, he was gone. Relena sat up rigidly in the bed, then fumbled to turn on one of the side lamps. The room was empty. Could she have imagined it all? She touched her cheek. No, it had been real, all right. And that had been Heero. She was sure of it. But what was wrong? *** "Duo?" Sally exclaimed, "What did you say to him??" Hilde answered for him, still glaring daggers at him. "He told Heero that Relena was pregnant. Seems he doesn’t remember that that was just speculation. And then Heero stormed out . . . guess he didn’t like the idea at all." "Guess not," Sally answered. "Well, why would he react like that. I mean, shocked, yes. Frustrated, sure. But furious? Guess I don’t know the guy as well as I thought I did." "I thought of that," Hilde said, "But . . . what if he really had no idea that it was possible?" "What do you mean?" "What if the baby’s not his?" A shocked silence filled the room to the point of bursting. "Oh my -- He was heading for Relena’s room. You don’t think he might --" Sally’s voice was more than a little alarmed, and she took a step towards the door. "No, he wouldn’t hurt her," Quatre intervened. He seemed to think on that a bit. "Maybe we should still check on her, anyway," he amended. Hilde darted out of the room. They all ran up to Relena’s door and caught Heero coming out. His face was just as cold as it had ever been . . . and that scared Hilde more than the fury. "Heero?" Quatre began. "She’s asleep," Heero stated blandly. He seemed to think that explanation enough and strode swiftly away. The others could only watch in shock. Then Sally dashed into Relena’s room . . . . To find the lights on and a very confused Relena sitting on the edge of her bed. "What . . . what’s going on?" Sally ran over to Relena and began checking her over for injuries. "Nothing. He didn’t touch her." "Touch me? What are you talking about?" The others exchanged guarded looks, then Sally turned back to Relena. "We thought we saw someone coming in here. We just wanted to make sure you were all right." Relena was still looking mildly confused, but more in control. "That was Heero. He was just here." "Are you sure? You saw him?" "Well . . . yes . . . it was dark, but I was sure it was him. He didn’t do anything; he just looked at me, then left. I don’t know why." Everyone heaved a sigh of relief, and Sally appeared to get a bright idea. "Relena, just in case, I’d like to do some quick tests to make sure, okay?" "But I feel fine. He didn’t do anything, really," Relena tried to assure them. "We believe you, Relena," Hilde said, "But we should still check you out. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you in case that wasn’t Heero or something, right?" Relena blinked, still looked unconvinced, but she nodded slowly. Everyone exited the room except for her and she went back to sleep. *** Sleep came slowly for Relena. She was exhausted, but her mind just wouldn’t stop working. She mulled over the recent events slowly, but she just couldn’t figure them out. Why was everyone acting so strangely? Heero, she had been convinced, had been the only sane one besides Noin, but even he had apparently slid over the edge, now, for some reason. Why all this talk about her health? Well, maybe she would find out when Sally ran her tests in the morning. She could only hope so. *** "Good thinking back there, Sally," Duo praised, and she glared at him. "Well, you got us into that mess to begin with, Duo." "Yeah, well, at least now we’ll be able to find out for sure, right? Hey, maybe we should also check and see who the father is, don’t you think? Since Hilde raised the question?" "Now that actually is a good idea, Duo," Sally said thoughtfully. She nodded to herself. "I’ll do that. Could take a little while, but I’ll work on it. Hilde yawned and leaned against the wall. "You know what? I think I’ll turn in, myself. You coming, Duo?" "Yeah, sure. Which way, Quatre, buddy?" Quatre pointed down the hall. "Any one of those at the end should be empty. Help yourself. All of you. Me, I think I’ll go say goodnight to my relatives and head to my room for the night. Goodnight, everyone." With that, Quatre was gone around the corner, and everyone else dispersed to their respective rooms. *** The recently cleaned kitchen lacked the cold, sterile feel of an actual hospital, yet seated on the metal table as she was, with a portable machine that Sally had dug out of her bag bleeping purposefully in the background, Relena certainly felt as if she were in the ER. Wires hung from her temples, inner elbows, and her stomach, attached there by some sort of suction. Her hair was pulled back tightly to keep it out of the way, and Sally was now across the room with her back to Relena, bent over some papers. The results of the preliminary tests, Relena assumed, yet judging from her friend’s posture, she wasn’t learning anything from those. Sally spun around and strode back to the table, all medical and professional poise. "Alright, Relena, let’s see what else we can do here . . . ." Sally started toying with the monitors on her stomach. Relena forced herself to remain still. She was never quite comfortable with doctors. There was something about Sally when she was working on Relena’s stomach monitors. Much more purposeful than before, like she was just then getting to the point. Strange, that. It seemed to her that her stomach would be the last place to look for injury under the circumstances . . . but then, she wasn’t the doctor. Before Relena had known she had finished, Sally pushed herself upright from her position with her elbows on the table, and strode over to a printer that was currently throwing out papers covered with medical information, most in codes and diagrams and abbreviations that Relena couldn’t hope to understand. The room was silent again, except for the portable machine. Sally was pouring over her new data. She started nodding silently as if she had found something she had almost expected, but was still slightly puzzled over. Then suddenly she let out a sharp gasp and took a heavy step backwards as if trying to put distance between herself and the information. Relena jumped off the table, the other monitors popping off her skin. She started to reach for her friend. "Sally? What’s wrong?" Sally suddenly looked up, her hand on her throat, breathing heavily. She visibly took hold of herself, forcing a small smile. "Uh, nothing, Relena. Sorry to startle you. A breath just went down wrong, that’s all. I’m fine now." Relena wasn’t quite sure she believed that. "Are you sure? Nothing’s wrong, is it? What does that sheet say?" She asked, trying to peek around at the paper clutched tightly in Sally’s hand. Sally jerked it away, then tried once again to appear casual. "Nothing important, Relena. You’re in perfect health, as far as I can see. I’m satisfied. You don’t have to hang around here any more. Why don’t you go find the others and enjoy yourself?" Relena stared at her friend for a long moment before shrugging and turning away. Apparently she wouldn’t get any information from Sally Po. Maybe she would find the others. She could have that little talk with Quatre she had been planning. *** Sally watched the young girl leave and waited to hear the door click shut before letting out the long breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. She had told herself before she had gone to get Relena that if she had truly been pregnant, she would tell her. But that last bit of information . . . Sally forced herself to look at the bottom of the page again, and blinked, shaking her head. This was impossible. No, this was beyond impossible. It was crazy. Sheer madness. She had to tell someone. But who? Sally, clutching the paper to her chest, darted out of the room in search of a phone to call the first person who had popped into her head; Milliardo Peacecraft. *** "WHAT??" "That’s what the paper says, sir. I could run a few more tests if you want, but I don’t think that’s necessary." "You’re positive about this, Ms Po? I can’t afford a mistake where this is concerned." "I’m positive. As crazy as it sounds, the computer doesn’t lie. There’s no doubt about it; Tres Khushrenada is the father of this baby." *** Ooh-hoo! *announcer voice* Weeeell! THIS is an interesting development, ISN’T it? YES, I THINK it IS. *normal voice* hee hee. I was about to keep writing, and I suddenly thought . . . hey, isn’t this part about as long as the first part? *evil laugh* That means I can leave it as a cliffhanger at this point. moo hoo haa haa! *sarcastically* Because we all know how much you care about this story. Hmph. ANYhoo . . . Tell me what you think . . . . As always, comments, praises, marriage proposals, and Belgian chocolates are welcome. All criticisms can be directed to that brick wall over there. Just kidding, Criticism, as discouraging as it may sometimes be, almost always leads to growth, right? That brick wall’s e-mail addy is [email protected] Please tell me what you think, feedback is one of the best parts of the job! I’ll love you forever . . . . ;-) Cheers from the Smiling Land! -- Ardra ----- Alrighty, then. Here we are for yet another part to my Amor Fati story. Oh, just in case you happened to be wondering (you weren’t were you? Dangit. ;-), ‘amor fati’ is Latin for ‘fated love.’ Just to letcha know. :-) I kinda wrote this section backwards. I did some of the last scenes first, then some before them, then the very last scenes, and then the beginning scenes. *shrug* You'll read them in the correct order, so I'm not really quite sure why I just told you this, but . . . maybe you'd like to know this stuff. In any case, at least now you'll know why if some of these scenes come out totally incoherent. :-* Ah, well. :-) Hey, new disclaimer for this one! Yeah, thought I'd add in a bit of variety. ;-) I kinda stole a bit of dialogue from The X-Files in this section . . . it was just too perfect to pass up. So that belongs to Chris Carter and his birthday-named production company, 1013, and any other loverly little people with vicious little lawyers waiting to attack. And the ideas for one scene came from a series I'm reading called Wheel of Time. That belongs to Robert Jordan and Tor Fantasy Books and all kinds of other fun little people. :-) And, of course, usual disclaimers apply for GW . . . I'll just let the overall disclaimer for the site this is on take care of that . . . mostly due to the fact that I have no idea whom to give credit to. What can I say? I'm a newbie. :-) Cheers, all! Enjoy! To my dear friend Yvonne, with a ready smile to take away any tears; you were taken so soon, but not before you could touch my life and others'. I'll love you always, and I just know you'll be playing "How Great Thou Art" more beautifully than the angels when we meet again. I miss you so much. I'll bring Spot up when I come. :-) "Amor Fati" Part III - Milagro by Ardra Landru *** "Sir . . . sir, should we tell Miss Relena?" "Not yet," Milliardo snapped hastily. He hated when people interrupted his thoughts. He waved her to silence quickly and stared over the monitor at the wall. He folded his hands on his desk as he thought. This would take time and thought. Relena would eventually find out she was pregnant one way or another, whatever they did. And when she did, she would very likely want to know who that father was, since she obviously wouldn’t know. That brought something to his attention, and he wondered how he could have missed it. "Ms. Po, how is this possible?" Sally studied him cautiously for a moment, gauging his reaction. Finally, she spoke. "I’ve been thinking on that. From what I can gather, conception occurred around the same time Relena had her appendectomy." Sally let the implication hand in the air. "Are you saying," the man began darkly, his long bangs shrouding his face as he lowered his head menacingly, "that my little sister was strapped to a table somewhere and . . . and . . . ." "Artificially inseminated," Sally finished for him. "Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I haven’t been able to puzzle out who or why, but I’m pretty certain that is how and when it happened." Milliardo kept his head down to hide the murderous look in his eyes from Sally. If he ever found who was responsible for this . . . . "Heero Yuy," he muttered angrily. Sally blinked. Obviously, that had not been what she had expected. "Uh . . . no, sir. I’m pretty sure he had nothing to do with it." Milliardo turned his glare on the doctor in the monitor. "That, Ms. Po, is exactly the problem," he spit out, his voice dangerously quiet. "He didn’t protect her. That . . . boy . . . he promised to protect her. He gave his word, and that only proves he’s a liar. He has hurt her in more ways than I can say, tearing her apart at the seams, under the pretence of protection. Just by being around her he causes her pain, yet when he disappears, she’s hurt even more. *That,* Ms. Po, is why I hate him, why I will hate him until the day he dies, or I do. But for Relena, I have kept my peace. For her, I let him tear up her heart and stomp on it. Because, for whatever reason, she seems to love him." He shook his head, bewildered, and when he continued his voice was even darker. "For whatever else he may have done to her, I can forget it, if not forgive, for her sake. But this is inexcusable. He has pushed my patience to the limit and beyond. His promise of protection was a fraud, and I will do everything in my power to make sure Relena knows that." *** Sally listened in stunned silence. Just words spoken in anger, she knew. Or hoped. If he told Relena that, he would end up pushing her away, making her hate him. This she knew, and she pleaded with God that Milliardo would see it, too, before he made a mistake. But for now, there was nothing she could do. Whatever she said now would only serve to fuel the flame. So she remained silent under that deadly gaze, listened to the rants that should only have escaped the lips of a madman. Relena was the world to him, she knew. She made him human. He and Heero were very alike in more ways than either would like to admit. They both found their strength in Relena, and she in them, Sally thought. *** "Checkmate." "Duo, you have once piece left. My king can go anywhere I want it to." "Uh-huh. One piece left, and I still win. Now that takes talent." "I’m telling you, Duo, that’s not a checkmate." Duo merely raised an eyebrow at his opponent and leaned back in his chair, satisfied that the game was won. "Duo, look." Quatre picked up his king to move it out of the line of fire. "I could –" He stopped short, king still hanging mid-air. Duo just nodded self-satisfactorily. Quatre was still for another moment before laying his king aside and lowering his head in defeat. "Checkmate," he conceded. A light chuckle came from the doorway, and both pilots looked up. "Relena, how are you feeling?" Quatre asked, rising politely. Duo hopped out of his chair and bounded over to her. "So, what did Sally have to say, eh?" Duo waggled his eyebrows at her. Relena looked up at him sceptically. "She didn’t tell me anything. She said I was in perfect health. Why, were you expecting something?" Duo stood open-mouthed for a moment, then stuttered something about just being curious or some such thing and moved to flop down on a nearby couch. Sally hadn’t told her? How could she not tell her something like that? Or maybe it wasn’t true? Duo would be in deep doo-doo then. But everything had fit together! No, Duo was sure he had to be right. Sally must have been holding back from Relena for some reason. He just had to figure out what that was. Rubbing his hands together and grinning deviously with his new mission, Duo bolted up and dashed out of the room past Relena, leaving both her and Quatre a little puzzled, but hardly shocked; Duo was not exactly in the practice of acting like a normal human being. *** Relena watched the pilot go, opened her mouth to ask him where he was going, then shrugged and looked back over at Quatre. "Quatre . . ." she started in a persuading voice, "Do you know something I don't know?" Quatre laughed nervously. "Uh . . . I know a lot of things you don't know, Relena. You know a lot of things I don't know, too." "You know what I mean, Quatre," Relena continued, slowly approaching her friend where he now sat until she loomed a little over him. He choked out another nervous laugh and looked up at her with big eyes. "Why is everyone so concerned about my health?" Quatre blinked, then heaved a sigh of relief. Why? Why did he suddenly think he was out of danger? "Relena," he began, "You know we're always worried about you. You need to talk care of yourself, and . . ." Aha, so he thought he was going to take the easy way out, did he? "Quatre, that's not what I mean and you know it!" she cut him off, "Don't lie to me, Quatre, you can't do it." Quatre stared at her again, then let his head drop and let out a long sigh. "We've been talking, and we have reasons to believe that you might be . . ." Quatre's eyes darted around the room as he paused, still searching for a way out of the situation. He didn't find any. "We think you might be pregnant." Relena suddenly found herself seated on the floor, and she realised her legs must have given out at that statement. She stared wide-eyed up at the blonde boy now trying to help her to her feet. "Quatre," she squeaked when she finally found her voice, "I don't associate you with practical jokes. We don't need another Duo around here." "It's not a joke, Miss Relena! I would never joke about such a thing! That's why Ms Po gave you that physical, she wanted to find out for sure! I don't know what her results said, but I would think that she would tell you. But we also now know that it's not Heero's, so he's a little upset, to say the least, and we're trying to figure out who --" Quatre cut off and Relena wouldn't have been surprised had he clapped a hand over his mouth with the realisation that he had said as much as he had. "Heero," Relena murmured, temporarily forgetting Quatre's hands on her arm, trying to pull her up. She just sat there in her odd squat. ^So that's why . . . that's why he came in that night. He must have found out and thought . . . oh, Heero, I would never . . . wait a minute!^ Relena stood bolt upright. "Quatre, how is this possible??" Quatre slowly picked himself up from the ground where he had been thrown in Relena's quick rising. "We don't know that, either, but we're thinking that Sally might be able to find something out from your examination." Quatre's head fell again. "They're gonna kill me." Relena absently patted the boy's shoulder as she thought. "No, they won't. I'll tell them I strapped you to a chair and tortured you, alright?" Quatre smiled weakly and the joke and left the room without a word. ^Pregnant? I'm *pregnant*?? This is crazy. This kind of thing just doesn't happen in the real world! Light, this doesn't make any sense. And now Heero's upset. Heero!^ Relena exclaimed in her thoughts before darting out of the room in search of the dark pilot. *** Heero sat in brooding silence in a dark corner of his bedroom. The more he thought about it, the more he had to fight down crippling emotions. Yet he could not seem to think of anything else. He supposed he had taken for granted that Relena would always be there. She was his constant in life, and he had taken advantage of her loyalty. But he had no right to feel betrayed as he did. He had no claim on her. "Relena," he murmured into the shadows. ^I’ve gotta get my mind on something else.^ He absently wondered when Catherine was going to arrive. It had only been a day, yet it seemed like weeks since the group had arrived at the mansion. He tried to think of other things, but one thing remained in the fore-front; ^Relena’s pregnant Relena’s pregnant Relena’s pregnant^ He ran lists through his mind, trying to figure out who could have stolen her heart from his presumably firm grasp. Stolen her away from him. Stolen away what wasn’t his to begin with. Heero shook his head to clear out these thoughts. He would not feel self-pity. He would not show weakness. He was vaguely aware of the door to the outer room opening and closing, and the sound of hesitant feet swishing across the soft carpet. Usually alert, Heero was simply not in the mood to lunge for his gun. He decided to take whatever came. His bedroom door opened and a figure padded into the room on bare feet. ^Must be cold on these stone tiles,^ he thought absently. "Heero?" His heart skipped at that voice, and at the same time it withered and cringed in the back corner of his rib cage. "Heero, are you in here?" Heero remained silent, and the figure waited for her eyes to adjust to the dark before padding across the room in his direction and stopping directly in front of where he was seated in the corner. To his mild surprise, she knelt before him, and despite the dark, he knew her eyes were intently on his. "So you heard." Heero did not reply. "Well, I don’t know what you’re thinking right now, but I’m pretty sure that whatever it is, it’s wrong." Heero gave a small start at that (not visibly, of course), but he forced himself to remain in silence and wait for her to continue. If Relena was discouraged by this, she gave no sign of it. "I don’t know how this happened. Honestly . . . . I . . . no one told me any specifics, but there seems to be only one possibility: I was artificially inseminated." Heero sat in silence again, but this time because he was too stunned to think of anything to say. ^Artificially . . . ^ he grunted in disgust, with whoever had done it, and also with himself. ^I’m so sorry, Relena. I promised to protect you, and look where it’s got you.^ "I don’t know if that helps at all . . . to know that it wasn’t . . . natural . . . ." Heero was amazed at how steady she kept her voice. It didn’t falter even once. Relena looked up at him and resisted the desire to ‘tsk.’ She calmly picked herself up from where she had knelt and turned, striding away. The door closed on her heel, the soft thud it made stopping her from hearing the whispered words of the pilot. "Thank you, Relena." *** "She knows." Duo and Sally turned abruptly from their discussion to see Quatre, leaning heavily on the doorframe for all the world as if he had just been through a battle. "What?" Sally snapped, jumping to her feet. Duo had just approached her in this late hour and started drilling her for information, and now this. "Uh . . . she knows. About being pregnant." The doctor took a threatening step in the boy’s direction, and he rushed to defend himself. "She cornered me! I couldn’t just outright lie to her! I tried not to blurt it out, but when she asked me so directly, I didn’t know what to do! Anyway, it’s her right to know, isn’t it?" Sally stopped, and now she stood rubbing the bridge of her nose. She groaned. "Zechs is gonna kill me . . . ." "Well," Duo stepped in, "There’s that done. But what about the father? Who’s gonna tell her that she’s carrying the child of Tres?" Quatre’s mouth dropped open. "You’re really one to just blurt things out, aren’t you, Duo?" Sally chided. She sighed and sat back down. "Well, now that’s the four of us who know who the father is. Quatre, would you please pick your chin up off the floor and come sit down, we’ll have to discuss this." Duo blinked. "What’s to discuss? We’re gonna tell her, right?" "Of course we’re going to tell her, but we have to do it gently." Sally paused before adding, "Note to self: don’t let Duo do the job." Duo looked mildly affronted, but the glare faded as Quatre sat down and the three got to scheming. *** "That’s it?" Duo said finally, "*that*’s what we’re gonna do? That’s our subtle plan?" "Well, maybe it’s not an elaborate scheme, but it gets the job done," Quatre explained gently. "So you’re just going to walk up to her and tell her?" "In so many words . . . yes." Sally nodded in agreement. "Yes, Quatre is definitely the best person for the job." "What job?" The three looked up to the source of the cheery inquisition. "Catherine!" Quatre said, politely getting up. The tall woman was laden with dozens of bags and boxes, and the young man hurried to help her with her burdens. "What took you so long? Well, anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I’ll show you to your room, if that’s all right." The two disappeared up the stairs to the sound of Quatre’s cheerful banter. *** "Light." That was a gasp from Relena. Quatre had bumped into her while showing Catherine around, and had gently extracted himself from the older woman to have a chat with the princess. And now he had divulged the information, he had nothing to do but wait for the storm that would inevitably come. "Light," she repeated. She had already said the same five times since he had finished his announcement. Quatre simply waited patiently. "Quatre . . . I don’t care, I won’t be angry with you, just please tell me you’re joking." There was nothing for him to do but shake his head sadly. Something seemed to break inside his friend, and he found himself holding her in his arms, gently patting her back as she cried on his shoulder. "Quatre," she forced out between controlled sobs, "I can’t do this anymore. I have to stop. There’s . . . I . . . ." she pulled away from him, horror apparent in her usually bright eyes. "Do you realise what this will do to peace? This will result in chaos! I just know it! I don’t know how, but somehow this will ruin the peace I have worked so hard for! It’s all a part of the plan . . ." realisation dawned on her. "This is what they were planning all along. Whoever did this to me, they did it to crumble the government. It’s some kind of cruel biological terrorism." She turned suddenly resolute. "Well, I won’t let them do it. I won’t be used. I won’t let them use me to ruin my work." Quatre took a step back and regarded her seriously. "What do you mean?" Relena was silent for a long moment before responding. "I have to go. I’ve gotta leave. Milliardo can run this circus now, anyway. They don’t need me." Suppressing a momentary panic, Quatre forced himself to think logically. "Come on, Relena. If you leave, who’s gonna help me forget about the day’s troubles and laugh at all the old diplomats at night over the vid-phone? Who’s gonna smile across those round tables at me and make me have to hide my grins in my coffee cup so the others won’t think I’m not taking them seriously?" Relena smiled sadly. "I’m sorry, Quatre, but you’re just going to have to find someone else, I guess. This is something I have to do." Quatre opened his mouth to argue, but Relena just glided away down the hall and turned into her rooms. *** "What’s going on?" Duo shouted at Quatre over the noise of the helicopter, squinting in the morning sun and holding his hair back from his face with one hand at the base of his skull. Everyone else was in a cluster nearby, speculating, except for Heero. That one was already in the helicopter. "Relena’s decided she’s going home," Quatre said somewhat sadly. "After only two days," he added in a whisper. "Heero’s apparently trying to convince her otherwise." Suddenly, the helicopter took off straight into the air, and as the sound and wind subsided, Quatre noticed that Heero had not been left behind. "Then again, maybe not." *** After two hours of silence and trying to avoid Heero’s glare, Relena leapt out of the vehicle and ran to the door on the roof where they had landed. She flung open the door and ran down the stairs. She had arrangements to make. Heero could find a room on his own. *** "Relena, you’re not going anywhere." Relena’s eyes pleaded with her brother. She did not ask for his permission -- she had decided that she did not need that -- but she felt a need for him to understand. She hated being at odds with him. "Please, Milliardo. I have to go. You don’t need me here, not anymore. After these recent . . ." her hand unconsciously moved to her stomach, "developments, my presence here could only be a burden. You can run this government perfectly well on your own, and --" "Relena, if you want my blessing, you can forget it. You owe something to this country, Relena Peacecraft. You have a duty to uphold." That old saying echoed in her head; ^Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather.^ "You have no right to make this decision." Relena abandoned her apparently hopeless cause. "I have every right to decide my own course in life!" she snapped, then lowered her voice. "I have already decided. I’m going with or without your blessing . . . but I’d like to know I have it all the same." To Relena’s great dismay, her brother remained silent, still obviously against the whole idea. She felt tears well up in her eyes, and she darted from the room before they could be seen. She leaned against the doorframe for a moment, then tapped the slip of paper on her knuckles thoughtfully while she regained her composure. She turned her attention to the door not far down the corridor. With a sigh, she pushed herself off the wall and headed toward that door. *** Noin touched Milliardo’s arm gently when she saw him moving to stop Relena’s departure. "Leave her, Zechs. Let her go," she said gently. For a wonder, he listened to her. He moved behind his desk and sat down heavily, rubbing his temples. "Oh, Zechs . . . I wouldn’t worry about her. She knows her responsibility. Just, all this plopped suddenly on her shoulders . . . she’s still a young girl, whatever her position, and she can only handle so much." Noin placed a hand lightly on the man’s shoulder, and amazingly, he seemed to relax. "She won’t be gone forever. She’ll come back, and until she does, we can handle things here without her. Please believe me." *** Relena opened the door slowly, not bothering to knock. There was a heavy burden on her shoulders today . . . she looked at the man several yards away from her, leaning his elbow on a computer desk in the anteroom. She held up a long piece of paper. "One way ticket for colony L3. Shuttle leaves in an hour." Heero kept his gaze on the floor a few feet in front of him, away from Relena. His voice was full of force. "You can’t quit now, Relena." "I can," she sighed. "I debated whether or not even to tell you in person . . ." "We are close to something, here. I’ve been working out the workings behind this whole conspiracy. We’re on the verge!" His voice was picking up strands of emotion, and he swung his gaze up to meet hers. Relena forced herself not to look away. "*You’re* on the verge, Heero. Please don’t do this to me." Heero stood up and took two steps toward her before stopping, looking away sharply, and then looking back even more forcefully. "After what you heard last night, after all you’ve seen, you can just walk away?" "I have. I did, it’s done." Again, Heero interrupted her. "I need you here, Relena. Your people need you." Relena searched his eyes, spoke from her heart, gently, probing. "You don’t need me, Heero. All I’ve ever done is hold this country back." She paused for a moment, then turned slightly back toward the door. "I gotta go." She turned the rest of the way and forced her feet to move, her legs to carry her out of the room, away from the man she had thought for so long would be the one she could spend her life with. Heero stood for a long moment, stunned, then fury took him and he stormed out of the room after her, stopping her dead in the corridor with his hard voice. "If you want to tell yourself that so you can quit with a clear conscience you can, but you’re wrong." He stopped, taking another step toward her, lowering his voice slightly. Gentleness overtook his fierce expression, but his eyes remained forceful and determined. "You saved me. As . . . as difficult and as frustrating as it’s been sometimes, your strict rationalism and pacifism have saved me a thousand times over." He gestured fiercely and leaned forward with the intensity of his words. "You kept me honest. You made me a whole person." His breath caught in his throat. He went on in a near whisper, just a breath away from her. She was looking up into his eyes, her own glittering with unshed tears. He could see her resolve collapsing. "I owe you everything . . . Relena, and you owe me nothing. I don’t know if I want to do this alone." He leaned forward ever so slightly. "I don’t even know if I can." The next was a whisper, "But if I quit now, they win." Relena stared up at him, and a single tear leaked from the corner of one eye when she blinked. She looked confused, and terribly remorseful. She reached up and pulled his head down slightly, placing a soft kiss on his forehead, then pulling back so that their foreheads touched, both of their eyes closed. Heero pushed back slightly, his hands braced on the sides of her neck, one thumb stroking her throat lightly. He couldn’t remember another time in his life when he had ever let his emotions run free like this. She searched his eyes and shrugged slightly, unshed tears still shining in the dim light from overhead. Then Heero’s gaze suddenly became more purposeful. He leaned forward slowly, bit by bit, and Relena’s expression changed, too. She started to look a bit confused, then startled, and trying not to betray any of these feelings as she refused to break the gaze. And abruptly, Heero moved swiftly toward her, tilting her face gently up to his. And with their lips just milliseconds away from meeting, a nearby door swung open, and Relena jerked her head down and away from Heero’s so he barely missed getting a mouthful of her hair. Heero stepped away from her reluctantly, dutifully. "I’m sorry," he murmured, for her ears only. "No," she protested, "it’s just . . . ." Then Milliardo emerged from that open door, and Relena felt a rush of relief that he hadn’t come out seconds later than he had. What he would have seen then would have certainly pushed him off the deep end. Relena’s brother made no effort to hide his dislike for his little sister’s association with this particular Gundam pilot. Milliardo’s eyes darted from Heero, to Relena, then back again. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but his gaze turned gentle when they returned once more to his sister. "If you really mean to go, I’ll drive you to the shuttle." Relena’s face softened. It must have taken a lot of courage to say that to her, after his explosion over her leaving at all. She cast a quick glance at Heero. Just a glance, but she knew that he knew that she wasn’t going anywhere. Moments ago she had been convinced that she would leave, and nothing could stand in her way. Somehow, he always won. This time, she didn’t care. "Thank you, Milliardo, but that won't be needed. I won't be going after all." Milliardo's gaze darted to the dark-haired boy standing so close to his little sister and his eyes narrowed again. Anger darkened his face. Anger at how no amount of arguing on his part could ever compare to a single word from the lips of this boy when it came to his little sister. He could talk until he turned blue and get no effect, yet one word from Heero and his little sister would run to his arms willingly. He forced the anger down, though; at least she was staying, one way or another. He grunted before turning and leaving the way he had come. Heero followed suit, into his own room. Relena shrugged slightly and followed him. His back was to her, and when he turned around his eyes were as cold as ever. There was no hint of the emotion she had seen in them only moments before. "It's good you came, I suppose. There is something I have to tell you. I just received word that Yvonne Williams is dead." Relena's eyes grew wide. "No," she whispered, eyes stinging as she remembered her close school friend. "In a car accident," he informed her. He might have been stating the weather; his voice was so cold, so empty. "Accident," he laughed bitterly, "A very well planned accident. Someone must be trying to get to you. Or maybe she had information we could have used . . . ." Relena's head jerked up again and she stared at Heero in horror. "But why? Why would someone want to kill that sweet girl??" In her head, Relena pictured Yvonne's smile. No one could ever turn away from that smile. She had been so happy . . . . and now she was dead. Light, she had had too much of death. "I shouldn't have told you, not like that." She gave a start; she had not heard Heero cross the room. His fingers brushed her cheek. Wiping away tears. She was crying. "I'm sorry, Relena. An innocent girl is dead and all I can do is worry about why she was killed." Flinging her arms around him, she buried her face in his chest. She could not stop crying. She could not stop trembling. She couldn't stop picturing how the scene must have looked like. Yellow tape marking boundaries on the crime scene. Metal crumpled against metal, her dear sweet friend's dark hair soaked with blood, her smile wiped away forever. When was the last time they had spoken? It had been so long . . . . Sobbing helplessly, Relena sagged against him. His arms went around her, slowly, gently. They were silent for a long time, and slowly it penetrated that he was trembling, too. He tried so hard to be iron, to be the Perfect Soldier he thought he must, but it cut him every time someone died because of him. He bled for everyone harmed, and tried to pretend he did not. "Kiss me," she mumbled. When he did not move, she looked up. He blinked at her uncertainly, eyes now green, now grey, always dark. A stormy sky. "I'm not kidding. I'm cold inside, Heero. The war," She touched her slightly bulged stomach, "This, and now Yvonne . . . I need to feel warm flesh . . . please? His head lowered so slowly. It was a brother's kiss at first, mild as milk-water, soothing, comforting. Then it became something else. Not at all soothing. Jerking upright, he tried to pull away. "Relena, I can't. I have not right --" Seizing two handfuls of his hair, she pulled his mouth back down, and after a little while, he stopped fighting. She was not certain whether her hands began tearing at his shirt first or him at hers, but of one thing she was absolutely sure. If her even tried to stop now, she was going to fetch a knife from the kitchen, all of them, and stab him. This site is © copyrighted to Gundam Galaxy (saberflare)! You may not take content from this site without permission. To obtain permission, contact me!