| Here begins the great Odyssey of a man we know as Willy. Willy stands 6 feet 5 inches tall and has short brown hair. If you passed him while walking your dog and then your dog decided to take a short bathroom break on his leg, Willy would be the guy to politely punch you in your face. But Willy is about to embark on a treacherous journey, one that will end up in death with the painful task of changing Babera Streisand�s tampon, or the great success of living, eating cupcakes, and petting bunnies and other furry woodland creatures for however long it takes you to perish. So let�s begin... Once upon a time is the small town of Wampris, there lived a large man named Willy. Willy was liked by many and had many followers, but whoever passed him with the intent of hurtfulness would die under the dark wrath of his horrendous laughter. Little did Willy know what would happen next� One day a gentleman walked into the local 7-11 on the corner of Williamson and Walks. Of course he had only one thing in mind, a Big Gulp and a Big Grab of Lays Potato Chips�. So he paid his 2.50 and made his way to his Ford Taurus. Once he got there he realized that he had been the butt of a childhood joke. Yes, Willy had picked the lock on the gentleman�s car door, and took a womping shit on his seat. Willy, after he saw the gentleman�s surprise, started pointing out to everyone that this guy�s new name was going to be Poo Car Man. This gentleman was not really like the other people on this earth, he was a wizard. So the man went to Willy and asked, �Could you please explain to me, Sir, why there is a fat terd in the middle of my seat?�, and Willy replied, �Sorry, but I had to go.� The gentleman saw the smirk on Willy�s face and reached into his coat pocket to pull out his wand and said, �Excuse me, Sir, but were I come from we take shits in what we like to call bathrooms, and tell me if I�m wrong, but my car seat does not resemble a toilet.�, and then Willy followed up this remark with, �Sir, where I come from we don�t talk like were gay.� This gave the wizard so much hate in his body that he showed Willy his blue and silver wand, and said, �Where I come from we are not gay, and for this you have a price to pay.� And then poof! The wand sent out a puff of smoke that vanished Willy into another world. This new world was nothing like Earth, it had many hills and canyons that went down forever. Willy went one step out into this world and felt the ground before him start to tremble. Next the ground split open and all that was left was a tiny spot of dirt and grass that he stood upon. He could see something approaching him that seemed to be flying, it was the Wizard. The Wizard stopped in front of Willy while levitating in the air and said, �Ah Ha! I see someone has a problem, and I believe it�s a man with a serious bowel infection. How�s it going Willy, want to take a walk.�, the man paused for a moment of laughter and saw that a career as a comic was out of the question, �Lets get down to business. You took a shit in my car, that was very mean of you, and to get back at you I am going to make you journey along the countryside to find the Mystical Toilet of Grandtheaus. There will be many dangers, and if you do not pass this test you will be doomed to life of torture, and if do, you will be rewarded with a life of happiness and joy. But you will learn at least one thing, that shit, if I might take a quote from Mr. Cunningham, belongs in its respective dwelling. Then the wizard disappeared. Willy could not believe what was happening, it was too much like a dream, so he punched himself in the balls and felt the aching pain that was followed up with swelling of the balls, which made Willy feel manlier. After realizing that standing around was getting him nowhere he started to go on with his journey. After walking about 1 mile northwest, he came to bridge made of toilet paper; he thought to himself how a theme was starting to come along. He crossed the bridge and on the other side of it was a troll. The Troll said to him, �Hello fruit boy! How goes it?� Willy replied, �Excuse me, did you just call me a fruit?� The Troll then said, �If you wish to pass this part of the course you must complete 3 tasks� TASK ONE- Tell me your first name,� and then Willy replied, �Willy�, and the Troll a said, �TASK TWO- tell me the color of the sky,� and Willy replied smartly, �Blue.� Finally the Troll said, �Which way would you go to reach the clouds?� and then Willy said, �Up.� Then the troll said, �Say your three answers altogether.� So Willy said, �Willy blue up,� and he did. page 2 |
| WILLY'S ODYSSEY |