Dehumidified ocean air on a bed of fileted basil.

Four greaseballs served flaming hot in your hands (grease, balls).

Egg whites, pumpkin seeds, Vitamin C, nonfat cheese buttons, aerated yogi urine. 

Our natural eggless spaghetti, cooked in desalted Caspian Sea water, simmered in oliveless olive oil, and sprinkled with parsley skins. As light a Nerf ball!

Ham, ham hocks, pork rinds, butter, eggs. Ask for Bac-O-Bits!

Sole.

Cooked in its own juice while alive, served with hot buttered metal screws, cardboard.

The Patagonian toothfish is overfished, so try our soya-based lo-fat substitute, swimming in hot water. Soy, water, gelatin added for viscosity. Garlic vapor. A natural face-lift dish.

Yellow hearts of egg folded into an omelette. Cooked and served inside a boxing glove.

Fried ice cream, butter, double-cream-infused banana, whipped cream, cherries in red dye No. 2, triple-fudge chocolate sauce, pancakes, cow fat.

One banana lying in its own skin, Covered in chocolate, on a bed of arugula. A cheesecloth mouth condom is supplied to enable you to taste the chocolate without swallowing.

Try our depoisoned herbal infusion.