To Whom It May Concern:

 

Why do you hate me?  Why don't you want me to be happy? 

Why is your love pure and mine a perversion?  Why is your love something beautiful and mine something disgusting?  Why do your feelings matter more than mine?  I wish I understood you.  I wish I could look into your mind and see why you feel the way you do, why you don't believe me when I say that my love is the same as yours.  And, when you love someone, you want to be with them, ne?  You want to hold them and be held by them; you want to feel their arms around you and know that they love you. 

How is it different for me? 

I can't make you understand, I know.  It hurts me, though.  Each callous word, each thoughtless insult...it hurts me.  Because, you can't know what it feels like for me.  You can't know what it feels like when I love someone, or how deeply it stabs into me, knowing that I can never be with that person without having to battle the insults and hatred of you and a million others like you.

Everyone knows that it's wrong to refuse to love someone because of how they look.  If a woman is overweight, if she's unattractive, if she has a lisp or braces or if she wears glasses, anyone who lets that get in the way of loving her is considered a fool; a cruel, heartless, superficial fool.  If you can grasp that, if you can agree with that...then, how can you deny that it's the same thing if the person in question is a man?  It's superficial, ne?  If you fall in love with a person's body and not their mind, it's not thought to be "real" love.  Real love is between minds, hearts...souls. 

If you can understand that, then you must understand that it's the same thing for me.

That's all I want.  Some understanding.  I want to be happy, just like you.  I want to love, just like you.  Because...I AM just like you.

That's all I wanted to say.

~Nuriko.