<Warning! Warning! Excessive gross mush (thank Aeanagwen, Celleri can not do this kind of thing) ahead!>

And there, laying on a soft sheeted bed, lay his sweet Prince Nakago. His golden hair spilled like silken sunlight over the pillows, gleaming in the starlight that made his pale face glow like purest marble. Thick, heavy silence hung in the air like velvet as Prince Tomo took a slow, reverent step forward, breath bated. He approached the bed, brushing an infinitely gentle hand over his love's face. Kneeling down, he lowered his lips towards those of his prince, slightly parted in slumber...

Seishi Interlude:

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! NO MORE SEISHI INTERLUDES! COME ON, THIS IS THE BEST PART!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!" Tomo burst into tears, disturbing his makeup pattern.

Soi put her arms around Nakago and gently rocked him back and forth. "It's okay, Nakago-sama, it's okay, it's almost over."

Nakago whimpered and curled himself tighter into a ball.

"COME ON, GO BACK TO THE STORY! PLEASE! I BEG YOU! I BESEECH YOU, GO BACK TO THE STORY! THIS IS AGONY!"

Suboshi quirked an eyebrow. "What are we going to do after this is over?"

Amiboshi shrugged. "Let's go get dinner after."

"PLEASE! ONEGAI! GO BACK TO THE STORY! I CAN'T TAKE IT! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, I COME TO YOU ON MY KNEES, GO BACK TO THE STORY!!"

Miboshi absently scratched Ashitare behind the ears. "Good boy," Miboshi said. Ashitare thumped his leg on the floor.

Yui looked bored.

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!??!!"

Seiryuu tried to offer Nakago divine comfort, but it wasn't working.

Genbu was getting annoyed by this incredibly long seishi interlude.

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME! PLEASE GO BACK TO THE STORY!!!"

Tasuki and Kouji raised their sake bowls in a toast.

Chiriko and Mitsukake played Tic Tac Toe.

"COME ON! PLEASE! THIS IS HORRIBLE! I'M GONNA HAVE A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN!"

Chichiri and Nuriko played cards.

Hotohori looked in the mirror.

Tamahome and Miaka made out for a while.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! YOU ARE SO MEAN! STOP IT! GO BACK TO THE STORY! I PROMISE, I'LL NEVER WEAR MAKEUP AGAIN IF YOU JUST GO BACK TO THE STORY!!"

Author Interlude:

Aeanagwen tapped her foot. "Would you wrap it up? This is unforgivebly cruel." In the distance, a heartbroken 'Nooooo!" wailed from Tomo's general direction.

"BUT IT'S FUNNY!"

"IT'S TORTURE!"

"... You're making it longer..."

Nakago had a sudden flash of hope.

Story:

Tomo's lips brushed over Nakago's with no more pressure than the brush of a feather. The taste of his beloved's lips filled his mouth like the sweetest of honeys. He felt the aching of sixteen years of lonliness dissapate, vanishing soft and silently as snowfall. His head spun; he felt as though he were flying, floating, drifting in the farthest reaches of his dreams. A soft warm breath tickled at his skin, but Tomo could not bring himself to break away. He simply turned his head, feeling the warmth stoked into a passionate fire the likes of which are defiled by mere mortal words. Nakago's eyes fluttered, and their gaze met.

Crystal clear ice and chipped sapphire met sunset bronze and metallic gold. Tomo's heart skipped a beat, feeling as though any moment it might break free of the bonds of his physical form. A soft hitch sounded as Nakago drew a breath--and kissed back. Light exploded in the souls of the two lovers as their spirits entwined, branching and spreading towards the sky. Their love's first kiss--long and sweet and with every beauty of the Heavens encompassed within, all shining bright and steadfast within the hearts of the reunited princes, banishing all fear.

Seishi Interlude:

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSS!!! LUUUUUUUUUUUUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!"

Nakago burst into angry, frightened, heartbroken tears. Soi held him and tried to comfort him, in turn preventing Nakago from turning into a twitching gelatinous mass of Hin Jell-O. Suboshi desperately wanted to poke him with a stick to see if he was dead, but was afraid that he wasn't, and didn't want to risk it.

Author Interlude:

Aeanagwen collapsed on the couch in a boneless heap as Celleri approached the moniter, reading over the three paragraphs. "That," she proclaimed, "is disgusting." Aeanagwen didn't answer at first. "I--am--EXHAUSTED," she groaned finally. I have hereby sapped my creative juices completely. I am drained to the dregs. God, I'm not going to be able to write for a week!"

"I wish I could do that," Celleri said, with a small round of applause.

"I wish I hadn't done it now. Seems a shame to waste something that descriptive on a parody. Now I can't use it in a serious story."

Celleri shrugged. "I think we'd better get back to the story."

Story:

Prince Tomo finally rose from the bed and offered his beloved his arm. "Shall we?"

Nakago nodded, smiling, and took his Prince's arm. They walked, arm-in-arm, to the bathroom so that Nakago could put his armor back on and drain the bathtub. Meanwhile, the three Guardians flew around waking everyone up. Seiryuu, Genbu, and Yui-sama woke up in the banquet hall, surrounded by a feast and thousands of guests, all just now being roused from deep sleep.

"What happened?" Seiryuu asked, sobered up considerably.

"I don't know."

The three Guardians appeared before the Gods and Miko. "Your Majesties, we present to you your sons, Prince Tomo and Prince Nakago."

And they appeared, dressed in their court finest, and bowed to their parents. Nakago was greeted with open arms and
congratulations from his mother, and a pitiable hug from his father. After some quick last minute-preparations, Tomo and Nakago were married on the spot--

Seishi Interlude:
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

Nakago wailed incoherently.

Story:

--by a monk with blue hair, who promptly disappeared into his hat immediately afterward.

"Our little boy is all grown up!" Faunaboshi whimpered, dabbing at his eyes with the sleeves of his silk and velvet green dress robes. "Floraboshi...Are you crying?"

Floraboshi sniffed and answered quickly, "No, of course not. I don't cry." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his own red satin dress robes.

"SOMEBODY GET ME THE LIVING F*** OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN DRESS!" Meriboshi shrieked. Rather than the masculine robes his fellow Guardians were given, he wore a long, beautiful baby-blue gown, trimmed with white lace and gold tassels, with a long silk train hanging from the pointed princess cap on his head. "SOMEONE WILL DIE FOR THIS!"

"SHUT UP MERIBOSHI, NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR YOU TALK!"

And Meriboshi shut up and watched the happy newlyweds dance their traditional wedding waltz.

As they danced, Floraboshi could only watch and be happy for them, even if his little Newton hadn't grown up to be the man's man (or had he?) he'd wanted to raise him as, and realized that Nakago's armor was blue.

"Blood!" and it turned red.

Meriboshi was watching and saw it instantly when the color changed. "Seiryuu, goddammit!"

"Blood!"

"Seiryuu!"

"Blood!"

"Seiryuu!"

"Blooooooooood!"

Tomo and Nakago both noticed the latter's apparently psychedelic armor and began to wonder about it. "Nakago, my dear, why are your clothes on acid?"

Nakago shrugged. "I don't know, my love."

Seishi Interlude:

"MY LOVE!" Tomo swooned and melted into heap o' illusionist.

"My God..." Nakago gibbered and crumpled into heap o' shogun.

Story:

And they decided to just let it go, because they had been promised to live happily ever after. And they did.

THE END

"SEIRYUU!"

"BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

"SEIRYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

"BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!"