VONG

A Brief History

It happened one fateful summer evening on the top of Big Baby. Barf, Urinator, and the Rogue Hipster were lazily enjoying the sweet smell of incense whilst the beautiful bright big red sun set in the sky. These three Hipsters were enjoying the fine company of several young verile maidens, one of which was soon to become the Patron Saint of the Hipsters, whom we now owe a debt of gratitude for the fine hats we adonne on our heads with pride...... But back to the story.

These three Hipsters suddenly came up with the most ingenious of plans which, unbenounced to them, was to bring great pleasure to Hipsters everywhere (and even insignificant people such as yourself)! What transpired was a mixing of hellfire, and sweet zesty temptation.

The Hipsters recently renewed their long lost lust for this incredible drink, and have come up with the following procedure with which one may maximize his/her drinking pleasure. Please read all the directions carefully and follow to a "T".

THE VONG

INGREDIENTS:

ONE IGOR(one fine 60oz. of RussianVodka)

3 PACKS of TANG

ONE OFFICIAL MIXING PITCHER and WOODEN SPOON

ICE (must be cold)

PROCEDURE:

1. With IGOR looking on, Open TANG package, sniff crystals, and dump into

OFFICIAL MIXING PITCHER. Note: IGOR must watch this first step otherwise you've violated the sanctity of the TANG, insulted the mighty IGOR, and worst of all made an ASS of yourself!!

2. Start cold water running.

3. Fill OFFICIAL MIXING PITCHER half way with water (appx. 500ml.)

4. Stir contents with WOODEN SPOON.(If you're game sing a nice Russian Tune)

5. Fill the rest of the OFFICIAL PITCHER with IGOR, or to taste, your choice.

6. Throw ICE from across the room and put in OFFICIAL PITCHER.

7. Stir VONG. Note: The Hipster Toast for VONG drinking is "BOERSCHT".

ENJOY

Created April 19th, 1997
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