Lady Raven Shadowwinds
Fashion Rules as Violated by Lady Raven
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raven logo appears courtesy of Hilda4jc
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It's more than sad actually. In fact, I refuse to buy into any of it. Any soul remotely familiar with my closet can testify that the contents violate the pc laws of fashion and also defy the labels of any subculture I am familiar with. I don't believe that everyone should dress like me, but everyone's closet should be individual and not subject to cultural standards other than modesty. If it conforms because the person wearing it conforms, then wonderful. If it does not conform and neither does the individual then that is wonderful too.
My preferences currently fall outside fashion trends in any culture except for periodic, lucky blips. Such a blip happened several years ago when broom straw skirts were the rage and readily available. The gypsy section of my wardrobe grew exponentially during that time. Around Halloween I can go to hot topic and purchase poet and pirate shirts. I've even purchased a gown or two during that time. However, 90% of the time finding clothing I like can be a problem, and wearing it a supposed fashion disaster. I will wear what I like, as I am secure enough in myself not to care what those who see me think and I snub my nose at the restrictive and silly fashion rules which are typically applied in such a way as to ignore the individual.
When violating sub cultural fashion rules for groups I have a connection with, it should be obvious that it is not that I snub the culture at all. It's just that the cultures I identify with tend to make strong statements about being an individual and refusing to be pigeon holed by society. I agree with that ethic and live it through my wardrobe. Think about it...if everyone in the group wears orange hair, wearing orange hair may be a statement against the norm of society as a whole but it would not usually be a personal statement of individuality. While in a popular Goth/metal store I saw a t-shirt which read "Pink is the New Black". Really? So now do all Goths have to wear pink? Did they all have to wear black in the first place? For a group which supposedly spurns labels and accentuates individuality, this seems counterproductive.
Lady Raven's rebellion against fashion began at a very early age with a pre-kindergarten refusal to wear pants in a very loud manner. I find them uncomfortable, restrictive and they do not reflect my personal convictions or inner persona at all. My mother did not agree with my assertions at that age or any age since, so sometimes outfits I did not like were foisted upon me until I grew to the age of majority. Now it is a non-negotiable in my life that unless I am climbing regularly or hiking on rough terrain which might ruin my beloved skirt, I do not wear pants at all.
Since childhood I have been told that pants are easier to maintain (hogwash, they lay farther from the body and thus require less laundering and most wrinkle less than pants do), are easier to match a wardrobe to (really? A black skirt vs. a black set of trousers. Hmm, the white blouse goes with either) and more modest (well, maybe if you are climbing, but only if the pants are not form fitting). As an adult I'm told they are more versatile (I've never gone anywhere other than mountain climbing where a skirt caused problems) and more "professional" (says who? And for that matter why do I care?).
Truth is, I refuse to buy into the professional man tailored uniform bull crap which robs women of their femininity and people in general of their individuality as a matter of course. I can work in an office in a skirt and blouse as easily as pants and a blouse. Vests, cardigans and blazers go with skirts just as well as pants also. While I have used workplaces with restrictions on dress to avoid starvation, the association either ends up with my challenging their mindset and winning or a voluntary parting of ways as soon as I find another situation because I will not change my self due to outside pressures. Besides, my preferences have saved me on more than one occasion.
I am a cool (winter specifically) complexion with a slightly sallow overtone. I am also naturally a redhead with dark auburn hair. Conventional wisdom seems to be that redheads are best dressed in the shades of autumn such as green, brown and rusty tones. All redheads are warm complicated and look good in loden green right? When I protested that I hated those colours I was told "See how it brings out your natural colouring" I'd look in the mirror at a jaundiced reflection and hate myself. I was ugly and unhappy and nobody listened. I preferred jewel tones, black and navy blue. "Oh see how those wash out your complexion" I was told. I'd look in the mirror and see a clear, fair face looking back at me and wonder why I was the only one who liked what I saw.
Recently I was professionally colour typed. It was an exercise in prejudice but it was to benefit a local charity so I went along with it. Swatches were placed by my face over and over for over an hour whereas my friends were done in a matter of five or ten minutes. The woman appeared confused. "You look best in winter's colours, but your freckles and red hair indicate that you are an autumn." I was both amused and annoyed. The whole premise of colour typing is the match your SKIN not your hair colour. I was typed an autumn and we left. The next day I came back in a dark brown wig and was typed as a winter in just minutes, one who could also sneak in a few of summers darker colours and lavender. Everyone stood amazed when I removed the wig. It felt good to show those in the know that not all redheads fit a stereotype!
Mercifully during my junior high years my grandmother made me a lavender dress with daisies going down the front over the seams. I felt pretty when I wore it and wore it until I wore it out. The only problem I had with it was that I could not convince anyone to make it a "maxi" dress. I was denied my request because supposedly long dresses make me look "short". Exactly how else is it going to make me look? I'm not going to be mistaken for Mr Chamberlin no matter what I wear. As an adult who reaches just under five foot three, I am short and no skirt length will cause of change that. Any presupposition that a skirt which is long makes a person look short is ludicrous on the face of it since they do not insist that short people not wear pants even though they are long as well.
How do I dress? I wear period clothing (gothic, medieval, renn, Victorian and Edwardian)when I can at home and a modified version (period blouse with long skirt), gypsy and Stevie Nicks-style clothing in public. I modify my look for reasons of expedience (laundering a velvet or silk long dress is costly, I'd rather launder a circle skirt) and not because of what society would say about it.
Once, in a previous relationship, we passed a group of young people at the mall. Some of them were costumed in medieval style garb and he poked me, asking which dress I preferred. Since they were of a style I wear, I gave the question some consideration. As I verbally admired the medieval wear, he asked why their friends were not embarrassed to be seen with them. I saw red and asked if he would be embarrassed if I wore one of those outfits. "Well yeah, it's not normal" "Well neither am I, if you can't accept a person for who they are you don't need to be with them." He back peddled, but it should be obvious that our values were quite different and the relationship was doomed to failure. I don't wear my long gothic gown to the mall because I may ruin it not because it's abnormal to do so. I never wear it to work outside the home because it's impractical around office equipment, not because I'll be ridiculed or suffer career setbacks. And what I do wear in those situations are also true reflections of me, just ones which are more viable for the situation I'm in.
Eventually, I became comfortable with my own style and preferences and dress to please myself - not what others think is fashionably correct. Since then, more compliments on my looks have been received even from those who prefer more contemporary and conventional styles themselves. It just goes to prove that you should pursue good fashion from the inside out. If you feel pretty, you are pretty.
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