NO GREATER TRIBUTE

**********

Colonel Jack O�Neill�s dark green pick up truck rolled to a stop behind the USAF sedan. He turned off the key and sat back in the tan seats. Troubled brown eyes stared sightlessly out through the windshield as his thoughts turned inward.

Beyond the glass lay a crystal clear fall morning. Blue skies etched with high, gauzy clouds kissed the treetops. A slight breeze promised a warm, dry afternoon. The grass retained the bright green of high summer, with a smattering of crinkled leaves to add texture and color. The scene was disconcertingly cheery. Crisp and clean without a hint of the black smoke and char that still teased his flared nostrils. The odors of burnt flesh and gun oil persisted in spite of multiple showers, clean clothes, and too many days gone by.

Jack�s hand drifted to the inside pocket of his black leather jacket. He fingered the envelope nestled there. It was a trifle. Little more than an excuse to get out of the mountain and visit the one person he had not seen since �the incident�. The recollection popped fresh sweat across his skin, turning it cold and clammy. Jack released the letter and wiped his hand on his pants. Mildly irritated by the continuing lapses of control.

Janet wasn�t the first and she wouldn�t be the last.

He swallowed hard and stepped out of the truck. The sedan�s door opened as he crossed between the vehicles.

�Sir?�

Jack paused. The young man looked familiar. He was dressed in blue uniform trousers and a standard black T-shirt peeked between the open flaps of his jacket. There was something wrong about the clothing. The fit, the color� He pivoted and came back, mirroring the man�s snappy salute with one of his own. �Lieutenant?�

�Lawrence, Sir. Ian Lawrence.�

�I know you,� Jack murmured more to himself.

�Yes, Sir, you do. I�m a nurse.�

He nodded slowly. Fuzzy, pained memories flitted through his tired mind, bringing a surprising inner chill. �Not your usual duty.�

�No.� Lawrence slumped ever so slightly, seeming to maintain military decorum by the barest thread. �I requested this assignment, Sir.�

�At ease, Lieutenant.� Jack released him with a pale half smile. �Requested?�

�Yes, Sir.� The Airman blanched noticeably. �I�ve spent some time socially with�Dr. Fraiser�and Cassie. I wanted to be here for her.�

�Understandable,� he replied distantly. The top brass had ordered legal counsel, security, and general assistance for Cassandra Fraiser for as long as she deemed it appropriate. Jack�s eyes dropped to the ground, fixating on the glimmer of minerals in the fresh, black pavement. It was almost inconceivable that the lost little orphan rescued so long ago had attained her majority two weeks prior to Janet�s death.

�Sir?� Lawrence asked softly.

�Carry on, Lieutenant.� Jack ordered gruffly as he turned away.

The young man�s eyes burned sorrowful holes in his back as he proceeded up the walk towards the wide front porch. Get used to it Ian... The clipped inner admonishment spawned an involuntary shiver down Jack�s stiff spine. He reached the steps and sucked in a steadying breath before ascending.

Cassandra answered the door on the second push of the bell.

�Hi, Cass.�

She was dressed in a simple white blouse and a pair of blue jeans, trimmed with a tracery of roses up one leg. Shiny, silver earrings adorned with stars and moons dangled from her ears. The attire was adolescent; the face that stared back at him tainted by the unmistakable air of maturity. �Hey.�

�Can I come in?�

She crossed her arms and looked past his right shoulder. �Where is everyone else?�

�Just me,� Jack murmured hesitantly. Her defensive posture was not a surprise, but it precluded any overt attempts at comfort. The cold, nauseous knot harbored since awakening tightened in Jack�s stomach. Forcing a whistling sigh out between his pursed lips. �Cass?�

�Yeah, okay.� She stepped back and gestured, closing the door forcefully in his wake.

He walked into the kitchen, arching his eyebrows at the tidy state of counter and sink. �You�ve been busy.�

�Mom hates clutter��

Jack turned catching sight of Cassie�s lip disappearing between her teeth.

She blinked rapidly. �Hated clutter.�

He nodded, acutely aware of the wall which seemed to have sprung up with unnerving swiftness between them. �Yeah, she did.�

Cassie crossed to the stove. She picked up the teakettle and shook it experimentally. �You want some coffee? I only have instant� Not much point of buying the other stuff, I don�t drink it.�

�That would be fine.� Jack leaned against the counter. He fished out the hidden letter as she flitted from stove to sink and back again. �I�ve got something for you.�

�Oh?� Cassie turned the knob and wrinkled her nose at the faint whiff of gas as the burner lit. �What?�

�It�s from Jonas.�

She took the proffered envelope without comment. Backing against the bar and copying his stance as she slid the papers free.

�He wanted to be here for the service, but something came up.� Jack looked at the floor, feeling distinctly unsettled. �He was very fond of Janet.�

The paper crinkled loudly. �I understand.�

Do you?

There was so much about the whole affair that defied explanation. Even to a seasoned soldier. How could things have gone so horribly wrong so very fast? Jack shook his head and fiddled with the change in his pockets. Cassie�s feet dragged across the linoleum, squeaking slightly. He winced at the sound and looked up, gauging reaction.

�I�m okay,� she murmured as she folded the sheets together. �It was a nice letter. Can I send something back to him?�

�If you want to. I�m sure Hammond won�t object.�

�I think he might want to have something of Mom�s.� The kettle issued a piercing whistle, offering a reprieve. She turned away and reached for a pair of mugs dangling from a wooden tree at the back of the counter. �Sugar?�

�No,� Jack gestured. �I thought you didn�t want any.�

�Changed my mind.�

�Woman�s prerogative?�

She flashed the ghost of a smile. �Yeah.�

�So what�s with this Ian guy?� Jack prompted after they were seated in the living room.

�A friend of Mom�s�and mine I guess��

�A bit old for you, Cass,� he chided gently.

�Hey it�s legal, I�m an adult,� she protested.

No, you�re not� Jack stifled the denial and took a healthy sip from the steaming mug.

�She used to talk about you, all of you, all the time, you know?�

He clutched the cup with ashen fingers. The bald, almost plaintive statement rang through the silent house. Filling up dark corners and dusky crevices with the shades of memory. Jack slowly lowered the cup to his knee and struggled to meet the earnest brown eyes.

Cassie confronted her grief with a detached, professional demeanor shockingly similar to her mother�s. The heart was there. Hovering, looming, threatening to burst free, but held stubbornly in check. She would not break, at least not in front of an audience. No matter how trusted.

Jack licked his lips and tried for comfort. �Cass, you don�t have to talk about this now. It can wait��

�For what?� she interrupted woodenly. �I�m leaving next week.�

He stared, nonplussed. �What? Where?�

�I got accepted, UCLA.�

�Cass��

�What?�

Jack put his cup on the coffee table and sat back, slowly shaking his head. The news was a jarring reminder of the undeniable continuity of life and the ultimately fleeting nature of death. You�re running. God don�t start now, you�ll never stop! He looked up and winced sympathetically when the dusky lashes lowered over Cassie�s moist brown eyes. What do I expect? What else can you do? The questions seemed to compress the air until he could barely breathe.

I failed you, Cass. I failed her. We all did.

�Nothing,� he replied carefully.

�I can�t stay here,� she continued. �The Air Force is going to help put the house on the market. There�s life insurance and they are picking up the remainder of the tuition. The stuff I can�t pay for with my scholarships. I�ll be okay.�

�I know you will.� Jack reached out and touched one hunched shoulder. She trembled and he squeezed, inviting release, offering support. After a moment she shifted position, slipping beneath his arm. He held her close for a long moment. Keeping his breathing as even as possible. Afraid to show how much it hurt to see her defenses so low, her psyche as frail as bird�s wings.

Cassie spoke in hushed tones. Her voice nearly lost in the muffle of his jacket collar. �Mom would tell me every time one of you got hurt. It used to bother me. I guess I didn�t care about her work. Too many reminders of where I came from. I didn�t want to think that one of you wouldn�t come back and I would be left alone again��

Jack stroked her arm and swallowed a sigh of empathy. We�re still here� He barely stilled a tremor as the next recollection spilled out.

�I remember when you came back after Ba�al. I remember she didn�t come home for three days. She wasn�t here the night of my Junior Prom. I spent the whole evening bitching to Dominic about Mom and her work and how unfair it all was. There was always something, I told him.� She paused and snuggled closer, resting cool, white fingers on his chest.

Jack stared upwards. Concentrating on counting the ceiling panels as he strove to ignore the butterfly flutter tapping through the thin cotton. You�re right it was, and it is, unfair.

�She got home the next morning around 5 a.m. I was still awake, still pissed, but I didn�t talk to her. I wanted to punish her for missing out.� Cassie sighed heavily and her voice grew thick. �I snuck down the hall and peeked into her bedroom when I thought she was sleeping. But she wasn�t�� A shudder wracked them both. �She was crying.�

Jack�s hand drifted up to Cassie�s hair. He stroked the glossy, red strands, smoothing them against her warm scalp. Emotions welled and broke over the dam of reticence. Tears prickled and burned his fluttering eyelids. Jack swallowed audibly and pressed her hand tight to his pounding heart.

Do you feel it? Do you understand how much Janet�s support meant to me during those long, dark hours?

�I think that�s the first time I realized how important you all were. I knew she and Sam were friends and that you all worked closely together. I saw that, but I didn�t understand.� Cassie covered his hand with her spare, gently caressing the weathered skin. �The SGC and what she did there meant the whole world. It was more than a job, more than devotion to duty. She would have done anything��

�I know,� he agreed in a hoarse whisper. �It went both ways.�

God Cass, how could we have let you down like this?

�She was so angry when Bra�tac forced Teal�c to go through Mal Sha Ron. Letting him lie there went against everything she had ever learned about medicine, about healing.�

Jack nodded stiffly, unable to speak as emotions surged and gradually receded.

�She nearly went bananas waiting for news on Sam and the Prometheus,� Cassandra continued. Apparently unaware of, or choosing to ignore Jack�s unraveling. �When she was home she never sat still. I don�t think she slept more than eight hours the whole four days. Then, when she went back to the SGC she was on the phone every ten minutes checking in with me. Asking how I was, making sure everything was okay. Worried how I was taking it all.� Cassie laughed softly, her warm breath bathing his cheeks and chin. �She never stopped, got a little much sometimes.�

The latter was the voice of an adolescent. The first evidence of the child that lay so companionably against his shoulder. Jack shifted, urging her chin up with one finger. �It�s okay, I remember being a teenager,� he managed softly.

She surprised him with a bright, high laugh. Mercifully shattering the heavy atmosphere. �You were never a teenager!�

Jack smiled at the denial. �Born 30?�

�40 even!�

�Gee, thanks.�

�No problem!� She sobered after a moment. �You�re okay, aren�t you? I mean it was bad��

�I�m okay,� Jack reassured.

Cassie nodded and sat up. Pulling away from his gentle touch, she gestured to a painting hanging on the far wall. �Daniel bought that for her for Christmas. The year before he Ascended.�

Jack�s eyes shifted to the seascape. It was a beautiful rendering of the ocean touched by the last rays of the setting sun. Golden shafts teased the waves as they crested over a smattering of partially submerged rocks. Driftwood was piled high against a dusky cliff, stained maroon and gunmetal gray by the gathering shadows. The jumbled remains of an ancient rock fall huddled amidst the splintered wood. The sparse shoots of young trees and wavering grass bore silent homage to the circle of life as they poked between the boulders.

The beginning and the end, the cycle goes on.

�Beautiful,� he remarked softly.

�Yeah, it is. Mom loved it.� Cassie straightened, urging Jack�s arm up onto the back of the couch. �I think he liked her, you know liked?�

�Yeah,� Jack agreed, chuckling softly beneath his breath.

�After Nirrti healed me we talked a bit. She said Daniel had been very supportive. I didn�t really care at the time. He�s a bit of a geek��

�A bit?�

�Well��

Jack snorted and ruffled her hair. Not surprised when she ducked and swatted playfully at his hand. �Stop it!�

He relented, enduring a pang of regret when Cassie stood and paced the length of the cozy room. The adult fa�ade was firmly back in place when she finally turned around. �I wanted her to be happy, I think she knew that.�

�I know she did.� Jack was unsure where or how the certainty had come to be, but he was loath to deny it or the solace it seemed to offer the child/woman.

Cassie sniffed loudly and brushed a hand through her hair. Pushing errant red and gold strands behind one ear, allowing the teenager to reemerge with a teasing grin. �What about you?�

�Me?� He feigned ignorance, knowing all too well where the conversation was headed. Cassandra Fraiser was nothing if not perceptive.

�How�s Sam doing?�

The selflessness of the statement drew Jack up short. He cleared his throat and climbed awkwardly to his feet. Seeking distraction as he pondered a reply. How? Do I even know?

�Jack?�

�Huh?�

It was her turn to offer comfort. The tables switched without warning, leaving Jack pale and shaken beneath his considerable tan. He tried not to flinch when she crossed the room and touched his forearm. �How is she?�

�The memorial was rough�Oh Christ Cass, I�m sorry. I didn�t mean��

�I know you didn�t,� she murmured. �I just couldn�t.�

�It�s okay, we all understood.�

�I wish I did.�

The pressure on his arm increased and then fell away. The skin beneath the layers of clothing prickled painfully. Reproaching the loss of warmth. Jack pivoted and gripped her elbows, giving a slight shake. �You will,� he reassured.

�I heard about the documentary.�

�How?�

�Ian told me.�

Jack ground his teeth, hating the reminder of protocol. �He shouldn�t have, no one is supposed to know.�

A startled flash lightened Cassie�s brown eyes. She bit her lip. �Please don�t say anything. He knew it was wrong, he just wanted me to know.�

�Cass��

�Please!� she begged urgently.

Jack groaned. �I can�t believe I�m agreeing to this.�

The fear fled, replaced by a crooked smile. �Thanks.�

�I�m still going to have a little heart to heart with him however,� he warned.

�About?�

�What do you think?�

�Oh please! I�m leaving, remember.�

�Ever heard of long distance relationships?�

Cassie rolled her eyes. �Now this is a switch.�

Jack�s hands dropped to his sides. �Meaning?�

�How is Sam?� she repeated.

He ran a hand across the suddenly taut muscles of neck and shoulder. �Devastated.�

�And you?�

The burden of their grief was far more than she deserved to bear. Jack�s stomach did a slow, anxious roll, revolting at the offer of comfort. �I�m okay.�

�No, you�re not.�

�Cass��

�I hate it when adults lie.�

His eyebrows climbed high at the taut rejoinder. �But you�re an adult, remember?� he chided softly.

�Cut it out.�

�You don�t need to worry about me, Cass.�

She laughed shortly. �No?�

�No.�

�Jack?�

He tensed. Watching the gathering storm shade her candid gaze from hazel to misted mahogany. �What?�

Cassie sagged, burying her face in his neck. Hot tears soaked skin and leather as she sobbed in utter silence. Jack stroked her back and bowed his face into her hair. A lump of empathy formed in his dry throat, strangling inhalations to stuttered gasps. He hung onto control with the last shreds of shattered will. Wrestling grief to a series of tremors, which tingled the very tips of his fingers.

You are not alone�

The conclusion gave Jack the strength to stand erect. He strove for balance between steely resolve and tenderness. Hoping and praying that determination would not be mistaken for apathy or worse, pity.

If Cassie sensed the change she did not react. Seeming content to grasp and knead the collar of Jack�s coat, as the catharsis gradually ebbed. When she finally spoke the words were couched in the desolate whisper of a child, inhumed with a wisdom he could not fathom. �Promise you won�t let something like this happen before you tell Sam. Don�t let her slip away before you both give it an honest chance.�

�It�s not that easy,� he reminded.

�Nothing worth having ever is.�

�How did you get so smart?�

Cassie pulled back and fixed him with eyes softened by grief, but filled with hope. �Just something my mom told me.�

The SGC was eerily quiet when Jack returned. The machinations of Bregman�s film crew and the hideous aftermath of SG-13�s mission had dampened the normally palpable energy of the place to a mere shadow. The majority of base personnel were on stand down. The loss of the CMO was a major blow, personally and professionally to the program. Janet would have to be replaced before normal operations could be resumed.

If such a thing was even remotely possible.

The dark musings chased Jack through the deserted corridors.

He had not bothered to call Sam�s house after speaking to Cassie. There was no doubt where she would be. Jack could identify with Sam�s determination to bury grief beneath a mountain of work. He had lived the scenario far too many times in the past. This time was different, however.

Cassie�s whispered request vibrated his raw nerves like an electric current.

Back in the Fraiser living room, Jack could not think of an appropriate response. Instead he held Cassie tightly and stated in no uncertain terms that she was to keep in touch. That UCLA was not the far side of the moon and that he expected good grades and regular reports. Cassie snapped off a sloppy salute and saw him to the door. Standing there with the warmth of the burgeoning day washing over them, Jack experienced a brief flash of peace. He hugged her once more and whispered �I love you� into the soft hair. Denying the temblor that surged across his soul as she nodded and slowly pulled away.

The recollection and its aftermath faded as Jack rounded the corner of the hallway and confronted the closed door of Sam�s lab. Oh yeah, she�s in there. He knocked once, then again, before finally turning the handle.

The room beyond was nearly black. Jack pulled back, suddenly unsure, and then paused. Drawn by a glimmer of light radiating from the far right corner. He blinked rapidly, and after a moment a shadow revealed itself amidst the dull grayish tones of the wall. �Sam?�

The silhouette moved. A sharp intake of breath accompanied a sudden flare of lamplight. �Sir?�

Jack flinched at the impersonal reply. �Hey.�

�What are you doing here?�

He stepped into the room and closed the door. Taking in her red rimmed eyes and mascara stained face with a quick glance. �I could ask you the same thing.�

�But you didn�t, because you knew I would be.�

�Right,� he acknowledged carefully. The half formed ideas of what to say and how to say it evaporated from his thick tongue in the span of a single breath. Jack stood uncertainly in the middle of the cluttered lab. His eyes flicked from counter to desk. Jumping from project to unfinished project with increasing concern. �I went to see Cassie,� he explained.

�How is she?�

�She�s her mother�s daughter.�

Sam nodded. �When is she leaving?�

You knew? Jack buried the protest beneath a heartfelt sigh. �Next week.�

�I�ll have to call her.�

�I think she would like to see you,� he counseled gently.

Sam tilted her head and closed her eyes for a long moment. �I know, I want to see her too.�

�She�s worried about everyone.�

�I hope you told her not to��

�Give me some credit,� he retorted irritably.

�Sorry.�

Jack bit his lip and cautiously rounded the end of table between them. �Jonas sent her a letter.�

�That�s what the unscheduled activation was yesterday afternoon?�

Under normal circumstances Sam would probably know more about the incident than he did, but the situation was far from normal. Jack settled for a non committal nod and perched on a stool. The action caused their knees to touch. He sensed rather than saw her shrink from the physical contact. Fortifying her mental defenses as the conversation strayed dangerously close to the lines of propriety. Jack had stepped over that invisible barrier with his very first word and had no intention of pulling back. �She wants to send him something of Janet�s.�

Sam stretched and stood. Slipping easily out of reach as she paced to the counter which abutted the opposite wall. �That sounds like her mother. Always considerate.�

�Except when it came to needles,� Jack quipped, seeking levity.

She spun around, sparks of pain and anger flaring in the wide blue eyes. �Don�t��

�Sam.�

�Just don�t!� she repeated harshly. �I can�t deal with this��

Jack stood and closed the gap between them. Catching the cold wringing hands in an iron grip. �It�s okay.�

�No, it�s not!�

�Sam��

�How can you say that? We let her down!�

�No, we didn�t,� he denied firmly. The strident, tired voice of conscience claimed otherwise. Contradicting the wisdom of years and the insistent demand to ease trouble hearts. Jack pushed it forcefully to the back of his mind. The incident was beyond personal blame, it had to be or neither of them would survive. He took a deep breath, striving for control. �The sooner you accept that��

�What?� Sam wrenched free and turned away. Her shoulders sagged as she pressed a hand to her forehead. �You�re going to tell me it�s the job�that what happened has nothing to do with who we are and what she meant to everyone here?� She pivoted and peered through quivering fingers. �That I shouldn�t care?�

�Of course not.� Jack could almost hear the bricks falling into place as the walls of grief and guilt expanded. Shutting them into private hells that would deprive bitter souls of comfort or forgiveness.

�Then what?�

He sighed heavily and tried to explain. �Do you think Dave Dixon is blaming himself right now? He could have bugged out. Bolinsky wanted to stay and look over the rest of the ruins, but it was Dave�s call as much as Hammond�s or mine. We made a command decision to investigate because there was a chance that we might learn something about the Ancients.�

�I know, but��

Jack raised a placating hand and shook his head. �Let me get this out.�

She relaxed fractionally against the cabinets. Releasing a stuttering sigh as her hand slowly lowered to the countertop.

�Wells and Bosworth were following procedure. Patrolling the area. Do you think they feel responsible for not having seen the Jaffa? Do you think that Wells is feeling more than a little depressed that his injury brought Fraiser out there in the first place? What about SG units 3 and 5? They couldn�t hold the Gate from a virtual army of hidden Jaffa. Should all of these guys feel responsible? Is it really their fault or were they doing their jobs, just like the Jaffa who served whichever Goa�uld was monitoring that planet?� Jack dropped his hands, feeling drained by the lengthy explanation. It rankled that circumstance had placed him in the position of defending the enemy, but the truth could not be denied. No matter how distasteful. �We all feel bad and I suppose in some small way we all played a part, but ultimately we didn�t fail her. Wallowing in guilt isn�t going to bring Cassie�s mother back to her, or your friend and mine back to us.�

Jack looked at the floor. There were always doubts, but Sam did not need to hear them. Time would teach what he could not. Janet was a friend. She deserved a more fitting moniker than �life lesson�, in spite of the honor the distinction implied.

�That simple?� Sam whispered.

He shrugged away the unease that invariably accompanied emotional confrontation. ��There�s nothing simple about any of it. This is the job��

�And we lose people all the time,� she completed bitterly.

�I know I hurt you when I said that, but that�s me. It�s who I am.�

�Except that Daniel wasn�t dead.�

Jack looked up, allowing the faintest trace of irony to creep into his soft tones. �We didn�t know that then.�

Sam blinked rapidly. �And if we had?�

�It wouldn�t have changed things.�

�No?�

Jack stepped closer. Sam seemed to shrink into herself. Huddled into a small, tight ball that emanated anger and grief in palpable waves. I want to help I need to� He bit back the plea and stopped, leaving a bare inch between them. �No.�

She peered up through a mist of fresh tears. �Why? Can you tell me once and for all?�

He cupped her shoulders, feeling the burning ache of grief at the back of his throat. �Because she was doing her job, just like you and I do ours every day. We can�t dishonor her by taking blame. What�s done is done and knuckling under now� It just wouldn�t be right.�

�That�s it?�

Jack offered a crooked smile. �You expected something else? Shakespeare maybe?�

Sam chuckled softly and swiped a hand across her face. �No, I guess not. It�s just� it hurts.�

I know� He could not offer the sympathy in words and prayed that silence would suffice.

�I miss her so much. I can�t believe�� Sam shook her head and looked up at the ceiling. �I keep expecting her to walk through the door. I want to call down to the Infirmary and ask her a question, or talk about my day. I want to hear her laugh. I know it�s impossible and that I should think about the positive. She lived an extraordinary life, but�� Her eyes lowered, pinning him with feverish intensity as her voice dropped to a plaintive whisper. �All I can think about is that she won�t be there the next time someone takes a shot at one of us. The next time I want to celebrate some new breakthrough with a bottle of wine and a pint of ice cream. The day Cassie graduates college, the day she walks down the aisle��

Jack reached out and pulled her close. Sam�s arms slipped beneath his, and her fingers dug into the tender flesh of back and shoulder as she clung. He rocked them, tightening his grasp as fresh sorrow poured free.

Was there a greater tribute to anyone than the tears of those left behind? Jack swallowed hard, fighting the sobs that clogged his throat. Sam shifted, pressing cool fingers against the nape of his neck. Caressing the flesh with jerky strokes as emotion overwhelmed the last vestiges of restraint. Jack shivered and felt the salted sting of tears. He opened his eyes wide and stared hard at the wall. Letting the moisture track down his cheeks and into her hair.

Grief would have its way. To deny was to detract in some small measure from Janet�s value as a friend and colleague, something Jack adamantly refused to do. Out there was propriety, imagery, the careful fa�ade; no place for shattering hearts. Here in this dark room holding the woman he had come to love, somehow it was okay.

They held one another for a long time, until Jack sensed the waning of release and reluctantly pulled back.

Sam kept her hands on his shoulders, though she looked at the floor when she finally spoke. �Are you okay?�

�Yeah, you?�

She looked up and tenderly wicked the moisture from his cheek with deft fingers. �I will be.�

�Yes, you will.�

*THE*END*