| Bus Ride Movie Critic |
| Welcome to our new section, the Bus Ride Movie Critic. This is the section of the site where I or one of my collegues will make fun of a movie that we have reciently watched on the bus ride to or from a meet. Until we have reviews for all of the movies I will put up a list of the movies that need to be written about, and you guys can feel free to write me a critique of that movie. |
| Reviews are needed for: Bridgett Jones' Diary |
| Review #1 - Moulin Rouge Man, this one is so easy to review. This was truly one of the worst movies ever. From the very beginning this movie was terrible, all that it was comprised of is terrible acting and ripping off other peoples songs. They took all the songs they could think of, from Elton John's "Your Song" to some Kiss song, and made them all worse. They tried to add a certain element of caring to the movie by making the character Nicole Kidman played have some bad disease, but all it made me do it hope that she dies quickly to get this pile of horse crap movie over with....Moulon Rouge gets a D- |
| Wanted: Young brash writer willing to be brutally honest about the bad movies we watch on trips. |
| Review #2 - Leagally Blonde What in the hell is coach thinking when he rented this movie? In the first five minutes of the movie I predicted the entire movie (ask Rachel Nelson). Young beautiful girl gets dumped, decides that she needs to prove to her boyfriend that she needs to be smarter, somehow gets into Harvard Law School. When she gets there realizes that school is hard (just imagine how the view is pulled in by this point, the pain we fell as she struggles in class), works extra hard to get good grades, meets other wonderful man, gets a job with her boyfriend, does a excellent job, boyfriend wants to take her back, and she goes for the other guy. Now just imagine all this drama combined with the steller acting of Reese Witherspoon and some dude with a messed up nose. I hated this movie with all of my heart and soul....Leaglly Blonde gets and F--. |
| Review #3 - Chalies Angels Though many people swear that I at one time or another said I liked this movie, it is not entirely true. The positives of the movie included some fighting, whether it was the one babe fighting the other or that one guy shooting that other babe. It even had a twist when the one guy seemed to be the victim, but was actually the bad guy. And of course there was Tom Green who was pumped up about Chad Lincoln for some unknown reason. What I don't understand is why anyone would make such a film. What sane man would hire three women to do a man's job? And what about the fighting? It was a direct copy of the "Matrix". Here is an analogy: Men are to fighting as women are to cooking (ladies, please don't take offense). As we look forward to Charlie's Angels II, maybe Charlie will be a lady who has hired 3 handsome men to cook her meals. The excitement within me is building as I look forward to such a film. rating: C- Courtesy of Doug Brown When will the people in Hollywood realize that making mediocre television programs into bad movies is just not a good idea? (And then, to make matters worse, they make sequels. I mean did we really need THREE Addams Family movies let alone ONE?!?!) Charlie's Angels stars Bill Murray and a whole bunch of other people I really didn't care about. At it's best, the movie is only slightly better than pathetic. Thankfully the movie ends when the bad guy shows up and kills the three female stars (well that's not actually true, but at this point who really cares?) I guess it just goes to show that any movie whose title track is performed by Destiny's Child is destined for failure. Don't waste your three bucks on this worthless piece of garbage - it can rot on the shelf with the Brady Bunch Movie, Wild Wild West, and the Addams Family. I would rather throw myself from a speeding vehicle than watch this movie again. Grade = On a scale of 1 to bad, this movie gets a "Terrible." NOTE: Doug Brown is the only person to give this movie any love, hence nickname #341 "Bad Taste Brown" Courtesy of Aaron Crauge |
| Review # 4 - The Contender I've seen some bad movies (see above) but this one was just plain awful. The Contender is a profanity-saturated piece of junk and worth less than Confederate money. It is not even deserving of a full review. Suffice it to say that I would rather brush my teeth with a cactus than watch this movie again. Grade = There are not grades low enough to give this movie. Aaron Crauge |
| Review #5 - Save the Last Dance Needless you say that when coach announced that this would be the movie that we were watching, I could begin to feel the vomit swelling. I do have to give it this though...Julia Styles played her role to perfection (If I remember correctly she was cast as an out of work teenager who's acting was god awful). The plot of this pile of excrement consisted of some girl going through adversity to get into dancing school. Throughout the movie she becomes more "ghetto" (and by ghetto I mean begins saying words that the old men who wrote this movie thought that people in the real ghetto said). She hooks up with a black guy, and then becuase of the racial tensions surrounding them, they brake up. She ends up getting into the school and her and her boyfriend get back together in a touching scene in the end. I think that the plot of this movie was thought up by a mentally retarded ape man. This movie was not good and it certainly was not slammin'. I heard that right before this movie came out they were going to change the name to Save the Last Bad Acting. Save the Last Dance made me seriously consider suicide.....F+, at least it wasnt Leaglly Blonde. |