Mock Interview With Robert Kinkel
11/26/02  -by Jill

  Welcome back once again, ladies and
gentlemen! This is a big day here in the
studio, because today, we get to break in
a brand new interviewer!

Everyone, meet Jill!

  As one of my best friends and now a co-
writer for this website, Jill has been thro-
ugh it all. Whether it's trampling through
the "back country" to get a glimpse of Big
Foot, or climbing the living room couch to
change a light bulb, Jill has stuck with me.
Through thick and thin, rain and ice, and
the occasional Saturday night bar, she's...

  OK, you get the point... just suffice it to
say, I'm pleased as punch that she's ag-
reed to do interviews for me!
Now here's a first!
I actually took this picture myself.

  We've decided to break her in on this interview in particular be-
cause, after a long discussion concerning a similar interview, we felt
that I might just need the help, now more than ever. I'm sure those of
you who know me will understand when we introduce today's guest.
So without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... Jill!

JK: Uh... Thank you.

RT: You go girl! Give 'em hell!

JK: Welcome to the interview today. This is a very special day! We
      are honored and delighted to have the one and only Robert
      Kinkel, of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, here with us.

JK: Bob, please sit down, make yourself comfortable. Lets get
      started.

RK: Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here, with two true fans.
      << flashing that big, beautiful smile >>

   << THUMP! and RT is down... passed out on the floor
      with a smile on her face >>

RK: << startled >>

JK: Oh it's OK... we knew that was going to happen. << kicking RT's
      limp body >> She'll be alright... I'm surprised she made it this far.

RK: Are you sure?

JK: << nodding >> Uh hum.

RK: OK then. << sits back >>

JK: Well, lets see here... << looking over RT's notes >> she has a
       few questions here she wanted to ask you... First, "Do you
       believe Big Foot exist?"

RK: <<looking a little confused, still worried about RT on the floor>>
       Umm... yeah I guess, although I haven't seen any, myself.
       << an innocent smile replacing the confused look on his face >>

JK: And she has here... "Is there something you always wanted to do
      that you have been putting off?"

RK: Well...

JK: Wait, wait, wait... these are not the questions she really wants to
       ask you, I know her too well. What she would really want to
       know is... Do you believe in love at first sight?

RK: Yes, I believe that love is mysterious, and anything is possible. I
       believe that there is that one person out there who is to meant to
       be your soul mate...

JK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you consider dating a huge fan?

RK: Well, I have never "dated" a fan, but certainly anything is
        possible.

JK: Uh huh... good. << then looking at RT and kicking her limp body
       again >> It's been a few minutes since she's moved... Do you
       think maybe we might need to call 911?

   << RK walks over to RT and kneels down to see if
     she's even breathing >>

   << RT pops up, wraps her arms around him and pulls him to the
    ground! And as he's trying to wrestle his way away from her... >>

RK: << muffled >> Help! Help Me!!

JK: Well folks, this is where we should end this interview... while it
       still has a "G" rating. Bob, thank you for being here... Bob? Oh,
       never mind. Thank all of you at home for joining us, and come
       back soon.
Please Note: Once again, this is a Mock
Interview. A figment of my imagination
and a product of having way to much
time on my hands. If I have offended
anyone, I sincerely apologize.
Thank You.

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