Ladies and Gentlemen! I'm pleased to announce that we will be doing a surprise "field interview" with CSI star Paul Guilfoyle. We also have a special guest interviewer, Sammy B, who is fighting her way onto the set even as we speak.
RT: Sammy, are you there?
Sam: << Whispering >> Yes, I'm here...
Hold on... Just trying to get
past this guard. Security seems
pretty tight today, think someone
tipped them off that I was coming?
RT: Oh... I doubt that. Now stop being
paranoid and get in there.
RT: And here we go folks... Take it Sammy!
Sam: Hi everyone! This is Samantha Bolster reporting. I'm here
with a great actor, Paul Guilfoyle.
So, Paul, May I call you Paul?
PG: Huh? No. Who are you?
Sam: Great, so Paul, I was wondering what made you chose to
take to role on "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation?"
PG: Well, I thought the character was a... wait a minute. Don't I
know you from somewhere?
Sam: Um... no... I don't think so.
PG: Okay... well, the character was so well written that I just
couldn't pass it up. Not to mention the amazing ensemble
cast. << Pauses >> I know you from somewhere.
Sam: Trust me, you don't.
<< quickly changing the subject >>
So, you have quite the following. Your own Yahoo!Group
as well as a FanPage dedicated to you. How does that feel?
PG: Well, from what I hear, the person who created those
websites is nuttier than a snickers bar. A friend of mine
happens to be an acquaintance of hers and has warned
me about her.
Sam: <<mumbling >> rat bastard.
PG: What?
Sam: What? Um... Well, I'm sure that your friend was
exaggerating.
PG: She has a towel with my face on it.
Sam: SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT????? I mean, eww!
What a freak.
<< Paul, starting to look a bit nervous. >>
Sam: So, anyway, tell us what has been your favorite movie to
work on.
PG: I'd have to say "One Tough Cop" because I had the privilege
to work with Amy Irving who is such an amazing actress.
She was absolutely a joy to work with. Plus we had such a
solid script. It doesn't get much better. << takes a long
pause >> I do know you. What did you say your name
was?
Sam: Sam--
PG: You're the freak with the camera!
Sam: Excuse me?
PG: From the hockey game! I knew it!
Sam: Um... you must have me confused with someone else.
<< Paul, smiling and backing toward the closest door >>
PG: Um... I really have to go now. Guards!!!!
Sam: But wait!
Hey buddy, get your damn hands off me! This is a jacket
cost more than you will ever see in a lifetime! You will be
hearing from my lawyer!!!!!!
RT: Sam? Paul? Hello? Well, ladies and gentlemen, we seem to
have lost our feed, so I believe that's code for "interview's
over". Please join us next week when we attempt another
field interview with Mr. Guilfoyle's co-star William Petersen.
Thank You.
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