Fear of breaking a leg while you climb a tree
Fear of wetting yourself because there's not a bathroom close enough
Fear of a manhole cover collapsing right when you step on it
Fear of dying alone
Fear of being even a minute late to work
Fear of crushing a lighter because you've always been told that it will explode in your face
Fear of splitting a pole between two or more people
Fear of riding a bicycle with no hands because you just know there's a pothole up ahead with your name on it
Fear of spilling salt without throwing it over your shoulder
Fear of lying dead in a gutter because you got into the car with a stranger
Fear of getting your head blown off because you walked in without knocking first
Fear of getting tire marks on your new clothes because you j-walked
Fear of strangulation from the safety belt
Fear of falling off a building because the wind is to strong
Fear of wearing your clothes so tight that it cuts off your circulation
Fear of lying in a waterbed with a pinhole leak
Fear of getting into an accident and missing your favorite show
Fear of stepping on a crack and breaking your mothers back
Fear of watching TV during a storm
Fear of your neighbor with a chain saw
-Rumple
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Tears in a Mirrored Window
You look into my eyes and you see strength
You hear my voice and you know love
But that strength and love are only a mirrored image
of what you hold deep within yourself
What lies behind my eyes is a pain you'll never know
If you listen closely to my voice you'll hear sorrow
Heaven forbid you should ever see though my mirror
Fore what lies behind is a window streaked with tears
You hold on to the strength you see and the love you hear
Maybe it will give you hope to get through another day
As for me, I'll sit here behind my mirror and dream
Of what it would be like on your side
And only looking in.
-Rumple
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Journey
A recent talk with a friend has prompted me to write this one. He's currently going through a life change, and I want to wish him well even though he will most likely never read this. I would like for him to know that I understand what he's going through. I have been to the dark side that is coming to realize who I am and what I've done with my life. It's not easy. There are things that I would rather forget about and there are things that I'm extremely proud of. But, getting to the point of knowing and getting to the point of action are a far cry apart. The point of knowing is probably the hardest, just sitting down with yourself and saying..... OK, who Am I? Can be real eye opener. At first I did not like what I saw. Then, as I came to terms with who I am, I started to feel a little more comfortable with myself. That's when the Real floodgates open! I'm really not such a bad person, but I do need to take responsibility for what I've done, and that's not a simple matter in the least. At times, I had to look to my friends and family for guidance and support, and let me tell ya, they were more than willing to help, but they can only do so much. It's You and You alone that knows what needs to be done in your life, and only you can make those changes. I pray for anyone who has the courage to undergo this task, and although I see more and more people trying it, there's still a lot who doesn't even realize the need to do this. They go about their daily lives in a stupor, not looking at anything but the task at hand, and to me, that's not much of an existence. There's so much more for you out there, and knocking off a couple of Prozac is just not gonna help you find it. You may find that you are completely satisfied with the life you have, and that's great, at least you are secure with the fact that you looked deeper into your soul to find that out or you may find that your life is really just one big festering heap of discontempt, in which case, your journey is just beginning. You have to find out what is wrong and attempt to fix it. Trust me, Everything is fixable, it's just that some things are harder to do than others. Finding a new job is easy compared to, say, dealing with being abused as a child. I guess it depends on how much emotion you're willing to dig up. If you need professional help with this, I suggest a self help group as aposed to a psychiatrist who may just say your "depressed" (a Big thing in today's world), and offer some anti depressives. I'm strictly a non medication type of girl. The way I see it, if your depressed, there's a reason (Duh!) and hiding it behind drugs instead of getting your mind straight and dealing with it head-on, is not the answer. One thing that might help is, you have to remember, we're All human, and we've all been through rough times and good times. We've made stupid mistakes and great accomplishments, even if your great accomplishment is getting the laundry done before the weekend, it's something! Also, your worse mistake is probably nothing compared to what some have done. So take it easy on yourself, forgive yourself for the little things, and when you catch yourself doing it again, stop! Think about what your doing and be aware of everything in your life. Let go of some of that emotional baggage and concentrate on what life has to offer. Now, before I start sounding like a total cliche, I want to add this, take care of the people in your life, protect them and support them to the very best of your ability, so that they don't have to go through unnecessary pain as you have (even knowing that they probably will anyway). Be there for them when they fall, and they will be there for you. Don't be afraid to ask them for help when you need it and keep an open mind. I wish you the best on your journey of self enlightenment (and blah blah blah) I will be praying for you.
-Rumple
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Fuck Therapy
I suppose this is indicative of popular culture. People don't know how to create any more, and cannot do something as simple as occasional post without it being in response to something else. People are so used to having experiences and stimuli spoodfed to them and metered out that they have become insensate and numbed to their own capabilities, lacking the self-confidence to arbitrate even the most rudimentary independent action without reassurance from others.
Fuck the establishment, say I. Fuck "Friends", fuck advertising companies who are paid to focus upon peoples' dreams and anxieties - these are private and shouldn't be sold. Fuck record labels and retailers for screwing us way too much every time we buy a CD, and fuck the bands and artists for thinking they are something more than they are. Fuck Bill Gates for not putting his vast wealth back into America - no human being needs 3 billion dollars, not by any stretch of the imagination, fuck imigrants from South America who cross the border and supplant themselves illegally, then refuse to speak English. Fuck extremists who would murder innocents for their delusional higher course, fuck those who get fat and complacent off the pain and blood of others. Fuck people who drive massive cars that burn lots of fuel, fuck people who make children breathe their smoke because they are too lazy to go outside, fuck people who think global warming is funny or not real. Fuck anyone who thinks serial killers and child molesters need to be understood and not terminated like the animals they are, fuck political correctness, fuck selfish gay couples who would risk the social balance of a child because they want to play happy families - I've no prejudice against homosexuals but they should never presume to be parents together because it just isn't right. Fuck Michael Jackson, the freak, fuck the leaders of the developed world for not getting together and thinking of an idea to safely dispose of approximately 20,000 nuclear weapons.
I think that about covers it for now. In case you hadn't guessed I got up on the wrong side of bed today. I feel much better now though.
-Poetkeirle
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