Wish 6

Chapter 6

Pacing around the room, he looked for other things that he should be bringing along with him. On his bag were about four wardrobes - just in case. He was dressed already now with his jeans and a shirt, a rather thick coat waiting to be used once he'll go outside. On the bag... What else shall he bring? He already brought his CD/MP3 player, his laptop which he'd need once he would start writing on his English assignment plus some other miscellaneous things. Nodding to himself once he was satisfied with what he'd packed, he raised his head, meeting the line of vision of the fading light - just outside his window.

Walking over to it slowly, he stood before it, drawing the curtain to the side a bit and peering out into the dawning night. He watched the careless fall of sakura in the windy garden and he sighed, raising one palm, then resting it on the glass. He closed his eyes.

Tonight was the night when...

<Now... to come back with my shame and my tears... broken deep inside, incurable seemingly by time nor space... What is my purpose? Why do I continue even today? What fuel drives me to keep on living even now? After so many tragedies piling up again and again...>

The hand slid down slowly before he raised both arms to wrap around himself. It seemed so cold again - and his heart... was feeling the loss of numbness... That secret moment when his vision became blurry and he felt as if someone was plunging a knife through his heart. Those silent seconds when his chest felt constricted, making him almost unable to breathe...

A deep breath...

What... the hell was he doing? There was something important he had to do now. Sendoh could arrive any minute for him as the both of them would go to Kanagawa together... as friends... Because, yesterday, after Sendoh requested him to come to their hometown together... he hadn't refused...

A bitter sigh and that sad smile that no one ever saw...

Rukawa rubbed his eyes to clear his vision before he turned away from the view that had converted silently from light to darkness. Night time now and it was nearly time to go...

And as if to agree with his thoughts, there was a knock to his door. Rukawa looked up, rubbing his eyes some more before walking over to open the door. Right before him stood none other than the friendly Yokaze basketball ace, a warm smile to greet him. Rukawa nodded his head in greeting before opening the door wider, letting his friend in.

"Are you ready?" Sendoh asked, his hair without its usual spike for once. He saw Rukawa look at him before dismissing it with silence. <Ah... you've noticed...> He smiled gently, the first time seeing the younger boy today. Earlier on, he was practicing with his team where they had watched tapes of their would-be opponent come Tuesday. Even though he was not with Rukawa during the day even once, he could not help but think of him always... about that child from the video he'd watched last night. The dejected child who had failed and was abandoned so easily just because his team lost... all because of a simple game...

He watched as Rukawa went over to get his things, the deep breath that moved his back slowly as if the younger boy was thinking of something very deep. Sendoh now had the idea why Rukawa was the way he was... even two years ago. In the past, the younger boy was already silent and a loner... perhaps, as he had seen the hint in the tape, basketball had been cruel to the boy. Sendoh could recall when an amusing fellow was starting out... That was Sakuragi. Sakuragi had the natural skill so he was quick to become a star. But Rukawa...

They walked out, side by side, Rukawa closing the door behind him, Sendoh watching closely the boy he was beginning to admire. Because he understood that the coldness and defensiveness was nothing but... a mask... He knew that there was someone else, hiding from him...

That young child who looked down upon himself, crying silently and abandoned while surrounded by happy people...

Unlike Sakuragi, Rukawa had a rough start in basketball. Sendoh could just see it now. Unlike Sakuragi and unlike himself... That was why Rukawa pushed himself always, again and again. Not relying on others, fighting with everything he had. That was Rukawa as a player before... Now, Sendoh was beginning to understand him too... as a person...

And now, he wanted his friend to get over his troubles so that he could show him that it /is/ worth it to be in a team... to have people to rely on...

Even if it was just... /him/...

Just Sendoh Akira...

***

Rukawa felt a bit of apprehension as he noticed Sendoh's look at him. It was not a look he should fear, he knew. It was just that Sendoh had some deep and heavy emotion clearly instilled on his eyes and Rukawa could see... what was it? What did it signify? It was as if Sendoh was beginning to understand him. Rukawa breathed deeply and looked away, seeing that they had left the building and they were now in the beautiful gardens...

Questions on his mind... where would he stay in Kanagawa? Perhaps he should rent a cheap hotel room somewhere. He knew he could never return to his real home... His grandfather...

Rukawa shuddered slightly but calmed himself quickly, used to the thought of his one and only family... that he knew of... The man could no longer do anything to him. And way back as a child, he'd already gone through too much to really care about his troubles. Now they were just memories... sad memories...

A reminder that he could never be...

...never have his one true wish...

"Kaede-kun..." The familiar voice suddenly broke through his thoughts and for the first time, Rukawa was glad Sendoh was there to break his hidden mood. He looked up to meet the eyes of the older boy. There was that soft smile directed to him again... as if Sendoh understood him now...

Sendoh sighed before looking up. Up above them, sakura were constantly raining all around them. The scene was a beautiful one... Flower petals falling like snow amidst the backdrop of stars and night and a full moon...

And then Sendoh smiled once again. "It's going to be alright. I've already told you that you'll stay at my home in Kanagawa if you have nowhere to go to. I'll be with you once you speak with Anzai-sensei..."

Rukawa couldn't help but be bothered by those words, not wanting to rely on someone. He shook his head. "It's okay, really... I could just get a hotel... And with Anzai-sensei, I could handle it." <I'm not /that/ weak...>

"What?" Sendoh shook his head too as they continued towards the parking lot. "It's really fine. So can you /please/ stay over at my home and be my guest?" He smiled coyly before looking for a certain car. "You really are a shy person, Kaede-kun..."

Silence. To that, Rukawa didn't really know what to retort. He'd heard Sendoh tell him to stay over in his house in Kanagawa before. Particularly just last night when Sendoh had suddenly called late at night. It had been such a shock... He had been dreaming one of his usual disturbing dreams when suddenly the phone rang to wake him up. It was as if the phone ringing was one way of breaking him away from his pain. And when he had heard Sendoh's voice...

Rukawa looked over to where Sendoh was leading them towards a certain car. To his surprise though, the car didn't belong to Sendoh. It wasn't the black Porsche that the older boy was used to driving. Rather, it was... a limousine?!?

The long and shiny black limo's engine was already running and when they approached, Rukawa with wide eyes, the door at the back opened. Rukawa was about to ask Sendoh about this surprise when he saw a man who faintly resembled Sendoh inside the car. He immediately knew that this was Sendoh's uncle who owned the very school he was now attending. The man smiled at both of them before speaking.

"Akira... is this your friend Rukawa Kaede who you were speaking of?" The voice was smooth. Dressed in a business suit, the man was in his late 40s, slightly tanned skin and hair that was like the one Sendoh and Rukawa were sporting now. He looked tall too, true to the Sendoh bloodline, even while sitting down. He looked on in amusement at the both of them. "Well, get in, I'll get you two to the train station."

Sendoh smiled at Rukawa's surprised look at him. "Kaede-kun, meet Sendoh Takara, my uncle. And Uncle Taka, meet Rukawa Kaede, my friend."

Rukawa immediately recalled his japanese manners and bowed before the sight of the man inside the limo. "It's nice to meet you, Sendoh-san."

"Ah... so formal..." The elder Sendoh smiled before gesturing with his hands to ask them to get in. "Come on now, boys. The last train is in thirty minutes so we better hurry."

"Right..." Sendoh nodded before looking at Rukawa and gesturing for the younger boy to get in first. Nodding back at him, Rukawa went in slowly, clutching on to his bag. Sendoh followed and sat beside the younger boy, both of them sitting together before his uncle. The door closed and the older man picked up a phone, instructing the driver to go on.

Rukawa watched the inside of the limo with a bit of fascination. The last time he'd been in one had been when he was very young. He hadn't been in one since. Back in Kanagawa, his grandfather was rich but that certainly did not mean that the riches made the man a great person. His grandfather was a bastard who haunted him even today. That was one reason why he won't exactly be going back to his grandfather's mansion even just to see the old man. Maybe his mother's grave... that's all...

"So you're a freshman then?"

Rukawa's head snapped up. Sendoh's uncle was speaking to him. He nodded. "Yes, sir."

"I heard that you were once a basketball player from Kanagawa... Akira's rival, yes?"

"Yes, that I was..." Rukawa said, not really feeling like speaking about this. He knew that the man was going to ask the same thing his nephew asked him again and again...

"And you've also had training in America... why don't you join Yokaze team?"

Before Rukawa could respond, there was another voice that intervened. Surprisingly, it was Sendoh.

"Ah, uncle, it's really alright. I don't want to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do..."

Rukawa looked at the older in disbelief, hearing that. After all, wasn't it Sendoh who was being near him only to get him to play on the team? Well, that and the 'friendship' business... In which, honestly, he preferred the latter than the former.

"But, Akira, you were the one who mentioned to me that you really would like Rukawa-kun to join your team. I've become so interested in basketball since you won the championship last year, you know. It would be really nice to find a great player like Rukawa-kun to join our team so why not?"

"But uncle, if I just force him to play rather than to allow him to decide for himself, it wouldn't be worth it. Maybe our chances will be higher in terms of winning but if he himself as an individual would not really be into what he's doing then it's not worth it for him in the long run. To have passion for something is to be free... I don't want him bound to something he doesn't feel is important..."

Somehow...

Somehow, hearing that speech caused another twinge of guilt to wash over Rukawa. Basketball... was it so unimportant to him now? Just because it...

He kept his mouth shut, watching in fascination as Sendoh was seemingly defending him. The older Sendoh merely smiled at his nephew...

<You've grown up, Akira. It won't be long now before you'll take over our business... the school where you study now... The only male amongst the Sendoh family's children...>

Sendoh Takara smiled a bit more before focusing his attention again at the silent boy that sat beside his nephew. Seeing the boy on closer inspection, he was made to pause at the familiarity in the boy's features. Seeing his scrutiny though, the boy shifted a bit, obviously feeling uncomfortable. "Ah, I'm sorry, Rukawa-kun... but you remind me of someone. And she had the same last name as you too. But since she was from Tokyo and you're from Kanagawa... Hmm, wait, she did move to Kanagawa, I think..."

Rukawa was confused. "What?"

"Ah, I was just wondering... if your mother is Rukawa Mirei?"

Rukawa's eyes widened. The he nodded slowly, calming himself. Rukawa looked at the man curiously, wondering how the man knew...

"You were that child then... About eighteen years ago..." The man seemed to be thinking. Before speaking more about her, he gave the boy a gentle gaze. "I really am sorry for bringing this up. I was supposed to be going to her funeral thirteen years ago but I couldn't make it. I was in America then..."

"You... knew her?"

Sendoh watched with surprise as it was revealed that not only did his uncle know Rukawa's mother... but also, sadly, Rukawa's mother had passed on so many years ago. Knowing that now, alongside with learning some hints of his friend's past, he could not help but feel for the younger boy - to give... was this sympathy? Getting closer to Rukawa, he could not help but want to shelter him - protect him, just because there seemed to be no one else around. Perhaps he wanted a little brother and he saw one in Rukawa. He'd never met anyone so vulnerable before with the secret sad looks and endless pain hidden beneath a calm exterior. Just like a lake... A lake than ran deep but looked peaceful on the surface...

The conversation continued.

"Yes... she was... my younger brother's friend. Akira's father. They were in the same school..." Sendoh Takara looked genuinely sad, something in his eyes hinting true regret. "It's sad really, isn't it? And for her case to be unsolved until now..." He shook his head before looking up. "You were just five years old when it happened, weren't you? So sad..."

"Er, yes..." Rukawa nodded, not really appreciative that the man had to discuss his past further. He said nothing more, hoping that the man would do so too. And thankfully, the elder Sendoh smiled warmly at him in understanding before not saying anything else. When Rukawa sighed and looked away from the man, he saw to his surprise that Sendoh Akira was looking in wonder and sympathy at him. He looked away immediately from his friend's gaze, feeling a bit of sickness from all the warmth around him. In his mind, all he thought about was how he could never... deserve this...

The rest of the trip was spent in silence.

***

"Alright, and tell your mother that Heishi will be coming home on the twenty-fifth. He couldn't contact her since he didn't know that she changed numbers. Well, good-bye Akira! Rukawa-kun!" A wave and the limo was off after Sendoh and Rukawa got out.

"Alright..." Sendoh muttered though he was already too late to really respond, the limo no longer there. Shrugging, he stood side by side with Rukawa, facing the train station. There was now only fifteen minutes until the train bound for Kanagawa would leave. And at the moment, they were right before that train they'd be riding. Around them, there were not a lot of people, since most were either already inside the train or had already gone out from there earlier on.

"Akira, about the tickets... we should hurry and buy, right?" Rukawa asked, clutching his bag almost protectively against himself while he looked up in query at Sendoh.

"Ah... I already reserved two." Sendoh nodded as he too held on to his bag. He cocked his head to the side, gesturing towards a nearby booth before walking over there, prompting the younger boy to follow him. When he was before the booth...

"Yes, may I help you, sir?" It was an young woman who asked him, first looking up with boredom before perking up at the sight of him. Obviously, she found him attractive.

Sendoh smiled in greeting. "Oh, I reserved two tickets by phone earlier this day. For Sendoh Akira."

"Two? Hold on." Blushing obviously in reaction to his smile, she went on and checked the computers, confirming his registrations. When she saw it in the database, she nodded, processing two tickets before informing Sendoh of the price. "That'll be..."

"Okay..." Sendoh immediately fished for his wallet before Rukawa's voice drifted in his ears.

"Akira, you know I should pay for my fare." And with that, Rukawa took out half of what the woman had said as the price, handing a few bills and coins to Sendoh. When he saw Sendoh look at him at a certain way, he just shrugged, receiving the ticket that Sendoh had given him and ignoring the look that the woman in the booth had - a new blush, this time meant for him.

"Enjoy your trip, sirs!"

The two nodded faintly, barely recognizing her as they walked away from the booth, now facing the path that lead towards the train itself. Before Rukawa could walk towards it though, Sendoh held his wrist. Rukawa looked up in surprise at the older boy's actions, barely keeping himself from pulling his wrist away since that was the wrist that was with his scarring wound... his scarring self-inflicted wound, that is.

"I think we should buy some dinner to eat in the train. I haven't had dinner yet. Have you?"

Oh... so it was just that... Rukawa shook his head. "I haven't yet too." Discreetly, he pulled his wrist away from Sendoh's grasp. The older boy turned on his heels, barely noticing, before walking off to a series of stores located within the station. They both came face to face with a small McDonald's booth.

"I'll have Number 5... and Kaede?" Sendoh ordered quickly, knowing time was getting shorter and shorter.

"Number 4."

The cashier, used to these rushes, immediately got their orders as Sendoh and Rukawa yet again fixed their expenses by contributing to their own payments. Not long after, they got the food, paid and walked off towards the train where the conductor let them in after seeing their tickets. Sendoh lead the both of them to a private cabin so they could have this trip in peace from other passengers.

Not long after, the train too began to move as they sat in front of each other next to the window, beginning to eat their dinner. In those moments, Rukawa tried to blank his mind even though it was rather distracting that he was yet again in front of a certain Sendoh Akira, whom he... Never mind... And of course... there was the fact that Sendoh kept staring at him for long amounts of time, perhaps still wondering about him and the information that Sendoh Takara had helpfully suddenly disclosed to the older boy.

Sendoh ate quickly, looking up once in a while to stare at Rukawa. It was not at all a conscious thing he was doing. What he could notice more was his silence as they ate, not really knowing what mood the younger boy was in. After all, he had just found out that the younger boy's mother had been... well, had died thirteen years ago. Rukawa had lost his mother at age five. And his father... Sendoh could not help but wonder about him... and why he wasn't with Rukawa or that the younger boy never mentioned him. Thinking about it, he really doesn't know much about Rukawa's family. Then again, Rukawa too doesn't know much about his own family. Well... there was the fact that his father actually knew Rukawa's mother before. What a truly interesting thing it was... Perhaps someday, when his father would actually be home, maybe he could bring Rukawa home with him. Perhaps his father could speak to Rukawa about his mother. Of course Rukawa would miss his mother... And to lose a mother at age five, barely recalling her for the rest of his life... He'd be curious, of course.

"Akira..." Rukawa had his head lowered, bangs covering his face. The expression of his eyes were unseen but... did it seem as if he was embarrassed? Sendoh didn't know for sure. Rukawa looked up before sighing. "Stop staring at me..."

The older boy blinked before laughing weakly in his own embarrassment, caught in what he was doing. He had been so busy in his thoughts and just now when he had been... /staring/... Rukawa hadn't been able to take another bite of his meal because he was perhaps shy that Sendoh kept looking intently at him. "Ah, go on, go on... eat, Kaede-kun. I'm sorry for being rude. I wasn't so aware..." He looked outside to the quickly passing scenery where they were nearly exiting Tokyo now, also resuming to eat the last few bites of his meal. Sipping on his iced tea though, he could not help but look but at Rukawa again, feeling that certain concern in his heart. <Imagine... to be independent from such a young age... There really is something special about you... something I think I admire...>

Rukawa sighed before taking the last bite of his meal as well before sipping on his drink. When he looked up, the older boy was staring at him again. <Akira... stop doing this... Do you know what you make me feel?> He cleared his throat. That seemed to startle the older boy, prompting Sendoh to stop sipping on his drink.

Sendoh smiled weakly. "Sorry... I keep staring. I'm really sorry..."

A small smile. Rukawa had his rare display of affection, his gaze almost soft but faintly... sad... Then he looked away, focusing his vision on the outside of the train. "You're wondering about my mother, Akira?"

"Ah..." Sendoh wondered how Rukawa could be so perceptive. He could admit that he really wondered about his friend's family... his mother... "You don't have to tell me if her memory would only bring you pain..."

"No, it's okay..." Rukawa shrugged before looking back curiously at Sendoh. <Almost as if you care... for me...> He smiled in sadness, looking away immediately lest the older boy see his expression. "Well, my mother... she was murdered thirteen years ago. Her case was never solved..." <Somehow, I'm still angry that they would just take her life away even while doing nothing wrong but... the feeling is futile. Unless I meet her actual killer...>

"I'm so sorry to hear it..."

"It was a long time ago so..." Another shrug. Then Rukawa looked back at Sendoh. Seeking for the warmth that was ever-present in the older boy's gaze just because he was feeling cold suddenly not just because his past had been rather cruel but also because everything always seemed futile for him. A soul broken repeatedly - again and again - with no one to soothe him always...

Sendoh smiled gently.

Rukawa cleared his throat, feeling the older boy begin to stare at him again. "So..." He sipped the rest of his drink before placing the plastic cup and the wrappers of his meal to a nearby garbage disposal. Looking up at Sendoh, he truly didn't know what to say. It was not like he should be shy any longer with the older boy. They'd known each other as actually good friends since... two weeks ago...

A smile touched Sendoh's lips once again as he looked at the younger boy actually trying to start a conversation. It was not like they don't talk enough. Perhaps in school, Rukawa only talked to him because of their familiarity with each other and their state of actually being friends. But it was rare when it was just the two of them like this, one-on-one away from any other person. If he recalled correctly, the last time when they had been together like this, it was about a week ago in his apartment. He had been silent and the atmosphere had been rather tense. And then he'd touched Rukawa's shoulder in concern and he had suddenly revealed that Rukawa was rather important to him in his past. In his basketball career...

Lately though...

"Uhm..." Rukawa muttered, obviously feeling uneasy at not finding a topic to converse on.

The older boy looked this time in endearment at his friend, half-amused - but more than that... feeling very endeared at this moment to the younger boy.

Finally, seeming to find a topic, Rukawa's jaw firmed as he looked up with question at Sendoh. "Akira... can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." Sendoh said with a carefree shrug, looking only at the younger boy.

"Uhm, why... in the presence of your uncle, the owner of Yokaze University, it was as if... I mean... when you told him that I didn't have to play if I didn't want to..." Rukawa looked up, wanting to see the truth in Sendoh's gaze. "Did you mean that?"

"Of course." No hesitation at all...

"But..." Rukawa protested. "I thought you wanted me to join. I thought..." <So... you're giving up on me... Of course, this is what I want since I no longer have interest in basketball... but... why do I somehow feel disappointed?>

"I did. I wanted you to join, Kaede-kun. Badly really. You have such great potential. But..." Sendoh's gaze, if possible, softened even more. "I realize that that's a selfish thought for me. After all, I am now your friend, aren't I? I am your friend first before being a basketball player who needs you only to be able to aid his team. You, to me, are a good friend first before being a tool for the success of the sport that I enjoy..."

Rukawa's eyes widened slightly at hearing those words. To be able to be valued as a... friend? Did Sendoh really mean this? Or was it some sort of psychological ploy to turn him around - the decisions he'd made about a month ago now? He wanted to kick himself right now for his fears on Sendoh's words. He wanted to bash himself for not being able to trust easily even though Sendoh had shown him nothing but kindness... And yet...

It was there in his heart, painful as if they clenched his chest, squeezed the air out of his lungs, making him unable to breathe. It was the painful fact that he had trusted so many people in his past... and yet those people did nothing but betray him... stab him in the back...

Emerald gaze...

Intense and scrutinizing...

There was no one like him...

How Jake Blair stood out amongst the crowd, not only in his physical appearance but the way he carried himself. Ever proud, considered cocky, and with an air of superiority that no one could match. He was feared by a lot, never bothered, as he was both rich and had a family that could practically buy justice if they wanted to. How handsome he looked always when he strutted inside the locker room of the basketball team...

How Rukawa found himself enchanted again and again by the older boy's intrigue and mystery.

The older boy had reminded him of himself... cold and distant, cool and unreachable.

Jake Blair saw no one but a few people. He had a lot of admirers, young and old. But always, he was far away, only allowing casual unions with the best looking females who threw themselves at his feet. Rukawa had watched the older boy closely throughout the years he'd stayed in America. He watched the little things even - things no one really noticed if one did not observe closely enough. He saw that... Blair did look at him sometimes... with a gaze he recognized from past experiences. And feeling that, along with the older boy's restraint even with the meaning of those gazes, he had become fascinated with him along with his determination to reach the older boy's level. In basketball, he persevered, needing to reach Blair. And in his heart, his admiration grew from simple wondering to a deep passion that seeped into his soul...

"Jake..."

Sendoh blinked suddenly, hearing his companion whisper a name. Looking from the passing black fields outside the train to the younger boy, he saw to his surprise that Rukawa had fallen asleep now. Rukawa's head was against the glass window of the train, moving to and fro because of the motion of the train. His gaze softening in endearment yet again, Sendoh reached out to straighten the boy's form. But, in straightening Rukawa, the younger boy suddenly swooned forward into his shoulder, having no control in his body movements. Sendoh sighed and grinned, standing slightly to push the younger boy gently to his seat. But Rukawa kept falling forward... This time, rolling his eyes in amusement, Sendoh finally decided to sit beside Rukawa, pulling the younger boy's form against him so that Rukawa rested on him. Fraternally, he lay an arm across the younger boy's shoulder, pulling the boy to his chest. Amazingly, Rukawa was still sleeping.

<Ah... heavy sleeper, aren't we, Kaede-kun?> Sendoh watched the younger boy closely, marveling at how young he actually looked like this, seeing him sleep yet again - but this time in very close contact. Theere had been one opportunity to do so when he asked Rukawa to sleep over last week at his condo. But back then, Rukawa had requested to go back to his dorm instead. That was after they had that rather deep conversation about basketball and returning to Japan... And that was just before the day when they spent a rather fun time seeing the sights in Tokyo. Sendoh had liked watching the sunset together with Rukawa in Tokyo Tower. It had been nice to see day ending in such a high place...

Coming back to this moment though... Sendoh watched Rukawa yet again, not being able to avoid the amazement he felt...

<You look... somewhat like a child... but your eyes when they are open... they look old...> Unconsciously, he reached up and began to stroke the younger boy's hair as if he was an elder sibling comforting a younger one. And then he stopped at one slight fact...

<You lashes... they're so long... Cute...> He smiled before leaning back on the seat, looking back outside at the passing dark scenery - from trees to plants and fields and bodies of water all draped in a canopy of darkness. He watched the scenes of earth before his sight transcended higher, into the velvet blue night sky where pinpoints of lights sparkled across the horizons. The moon tonight was a quarter moon. It was a rather lovely night...

And in that rather lovely night...

The two slept in each other's arms... for the first time...

***

There was a sudden noise. Rukawa's eyes slowly opened, hearing some announcement of some sorts. A feeling of warmth was engulfing him and he shifted, unexplainably feeling pleasure in just laying against that...

His eyes snapped open. He almost bolted and pushed whoever had his arms around him when he suddenly blinked, seeing none other than his friend Sendoh still dozing right behind him. A warm blush spread on Rukawa's cheeks as he wanted nothing more than to leave the embrace because of embarrassment. But oddly enough, he did not attempt anything yet as he watched the older boy continue to sleep in peace. He did not want to wake Sendoh... not now when the older boy looked so peaceful as he rested... but...

Rukawa gritted his teeth, feeling old emotions coming back to him again in this very awkward situation...

<Shit, I'm such a fool... I should push him away! He's violating my space! But...>

At that moment, Sendoh opened his eyes. His deep sapphire eyes met the shade of eyes that reflected the color of his own. He blinked in surprise. And when he saw the blush in Rukawa's cheek, he nearly chuckled at how cute the seemingly cold and stoic boy was. But then there was uncertainty in those eyes... something he could not decipher yet...

"Hi." Sendoh grinned, a smile touching his lips in greeting.

Rukawa mumbled a silent "Hi." as well before pulling away slowly, regretting the loss of warmth engulfing him, yet somewhat glad that Sendoh was not so near anymore. Truthfully, there was the unavoidable longing but... <What am I thinking? I don't need anyone. He's a friend. That's it. Just that... I'm so not used to this... The contact of another person. No one has been so near me like this except...>

Quickly, he pushed away those thoughts, not needing them here. Sighing, he leaned against the window at his other side, watching the dark scenery they passed by. Behind him, Sendoh stretched before extending an arm to place itself on Rukawa's shoulders, a coy grin on his lips. He felt Rukawa stiffen and he only chuckled as Rukawa looked at him.

Rukawa felt a bit uneasy at the other's closeness or his need for these physical touches. In his life, no one touched him... not because of affection. In different ways... <Sad thoughts...> He pushed away those thoughts immediately. <Akira... is different. I've never met anyone like him before... Ah! Why am I relying on him? I'm already too used to being alone!> Shrugging away Sendoh's arm, he looked again outside... Before gritting his teeth once the persistent arm came to rest again on his shoulders.

"Akira..." His voice was calm but hinting annoyance. "I'm not an arm rest."

The older boy chuckled at the seeming joke. The he grinned, relaxing himself. "You know what I see you as, Kaede-kun?"

He could not help but swallow in sudden nervousness. His heart... why was it beating quicker? "I don't..."

"I see you as..." Sendoh spoke the next words with all honesty. "A brother."

<A brother...> The words echoed in his mind. Rukawa bit his lips, not knowing what to say to that. That was great though, wasn't it? He never had a brother before... much less, siblings... He had no family really. He was merely a lone wanderer in the world - a vagabond who had no home to return to.

Looking away from the night sky which he was staring at just now, he looked back in and focused on the older boy. Sendoh Akira's eyes looked so... sincere... It was as if there was no room to doubt the older boy. He smiled slightly in sadness before looking away.

"I do mean it." Sendoh spoke in a soft voice as he too watched the dark night outside. "I don't have any siblings. I've never met anyone like you really. You... provoke something in me. I like you more than a friend, I think. So that makes you like a brother, I guess. Kaede? Hmm... Kaede-ototo?"

Rukawa snorted. "And you expect me to begin calling you Akira-oniisan?"

Sendoh snickered in amusement. "I guess that sounds a bit weird, doesn't it? Nah... just calling each other by our names is fine maybe. But still, that doesn't stop me from wanting to be your elder brother."

<Elder brother...> Rukawa shrugged, feeling more intensely the arm upon his shoulder - the warmth it gave him... so dissimilar to other contacts he was used to. Usually, there was either no contact or there was an intruding contact. Even in Japan during his first day in high school... The first time he'd met his teammate Sakuragi, the other boy had punched him right away. It didn't make sense but... he was used to it perhaps...

But now...

Now...

Sendoh sighed, acutely aware of the younger boy's shampoo drifting to his nose. He could smell it - sweet and fragrant... Cherries. Like Cherry blossoms where Rukawa always sat below of during his breaks... when the younger boy was either doing homework, reading a book, listening to music or merely just sleeping lazily under the sun...

<It's as if... you understand me, Rukawa Kaede...>

<You're not at all like them... Like Aida Hikoichi who looks up to me as his senior... or my old friend Shigure who's not around always anyway... Or the people who try to get close to me because they want to be associated with the personality that they see me as... All of them... They approach me not to know who I am but to... to just be attached to this popular phenomena known as Sendoh Akira - the best basketball player in Japan.>

<I've found you, Kaede-kun...>

<You've found me in return...>

***

They stood before a two-story home that was rather average in size, a surprising contrast to Sendoh's life in Tokyo. While in Tokyo, Sendoh enjoyed the lavish gifts his uncle bestowed on him from his black porsche to his own condo in the hills, back here was the humble home where he had grown up. Back here, with his true family, they were pretty normal in terms of daily living as compared to Sendoh Takara's.

Looking wistfully at the faint shadows and light that played in the image of his home right before him, Sendoh nodded to himself before opening the gate and going towards the door. Beside him, Rukawa was being reluctant again. From the end of the train ride to the taxi ride and the moments they stood before the Sendoh home, Rukawa had been nothing but reluctant, shy... Not like Sendoh did not expect those things really, observing the younger boy closely in the two weeks they've known each other.

Giving a common yet reassuring smile to Rukawa, he gestured with his hands, signaling for the younger boy to just come on over and enter the compound. He saw the younger boy sigh in defeat before entering the small gate and closing it behind him. Rukawa walked over as Sendoh finally succeeded in opening the door. Sendoh reached over to turn on the lights in the hallway before easily removing his shoes with the aid of his own feet. He reached downwards to place them on a nearby shoe rack, seeing Rukawa doing the same thing.

"Akira, is it really alright? I mean, I'm intruding and all..." Rukawa muttered as he placed his shoes near Sendoh's own. He bit his lips lightly in worry as Sendoh closed the main door behind them.

"Sheesh, I told you it's alright. I mean, I'm practically forcing you to stay over." Sendoh rolled his eyes good-naturedly, speaking in a slightly reprimanding tone. But he smiled immediately after that, assurance in his gaze. "You're a good friend. Where would I let my good friend stay in? A hotel? Besides, only my mother is here, I think. Come on. Let's go up to my room."

Rukawa nodded, knowing that anymore protests would sound so aggravating. Finally, he followed Sendoh as the older boy climbed the stairs to the second floor. The nicely decorated house was silent at this time of the night and obviously, Sendoh's mother was now asleep. He could only wonder where the older boy's father was. Shrugging internally at those thoughts, he walked through the hallway before stopping as Sendoh opened a certain door. He suddenly felt a certain familiar panic...

<Wait... I'll stay with him? Of course I'm not worried. What could he do to me? But still...>

He /really/ hated contact with other people sometimes. What if Sendoh would hear him dream? What if Sendoh attempted anything? What if...? Frowning and pushing back those thoughts at the back of his head, he entered the room after Sendoh did, looking around after the older boy turned on the lights. Inside, it looked a bit different from Sendoh's room back in Tokyo. This was more of a teenage boy's than the young man's room in the condo. The walls were decorated in several different posters - from rock bands to basketball players to sports cars. It was so different from his room in his grandfather's mansion in this same prefecture. In his old room, it had been empty. After all, he was not really too fond of material things. All that had mattered back then was his dream...

Sendoh closed the door before placing down his bag on the floor and immediately going towards his closet. He retrieved some clothes before closing it and walking towards his bathroom. "Hey, make yourself at home, Kaede. I would let you sleep in the guest room but my parents recently made that into a mini gym. So, I hope you don't mind sleeping here."

"Ah... that's okay. It's fine, really." Rukawa muttered, feeling awkward. He placed his bag down next to Sendoh's as he saw the older boy going over to his bathroom, the door closing behind him. Not really knowing what to do, he looked around again, noting the single bed that was in the room. Sighing, he looked back down on his bag before crouching down and retrieving a pair of shorts and tank top he could use for sleeping as well as toothbrush, soap, toothpaste... He closed the bag again after, clutching his clothes and things before just walking over to the window and looking outside.

Outside, it was still dark...

He observed it for awhile in the blankness of his thoughts, oddly feeling at peace at coming back to his hometown. And being here with Sendoh when he could have been alone... it brought about a good feeling in him even though he was also cursing himself internally for being so dependent towards Sendoh at the moment...

"Hey..." A sudden voice.

Sendoh's voice broke the silence and Rukawa looked back and saw that the older boy had changed into shorts and a shirt. Sendoh tilted his head to the side, gesturing towards the bathroom. "You could use it now."

"Okay..." Rukawa nodded before walking towards the bathroom, passing Sendoh, the small space between the doorway and the older boy causing their bodies to brush against each other without their intent. Surprised and feeling a bit of apprehension from the touch, he saw Sendoh look at him in surprise too before the older boy's face was painted again in a smile. Rukawa muttered a silent apology before going to the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Few minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, only to see Sendoh already lying in bed, hands pillowing his head behind as he stared up at the ceiling. Sendoh looked slowly from the ceiling towards him. That wondering gaze again...

Rukawa went to place his things in his bag.

"So... you ready to see Anzai-sensei again tomorrow, Kaede-kun?"

Rukawa nodded. When he looked up, he saw that Sendoh wasn't looking at him anymore. So, he spoke as he fixed his things meticulously inside his bag. He zipped it up before suddenly pausing... "I'm ready and..."

"Hm?" Sendoh looked towards his friend again. He saw Rukawa standing after fixing his things, looking a bit vulnerable as he stood clad only in shorts and a tank top, the pale skin exposed. Sendoh could admit that the skin looked nice... he'd never met another Japanese boy who had the same complexion and seeming smoothness of Rukawa's skin... Sendoh suddenly blinked at his thoughts before smiling from his position on the bed, slowly shifting to one side. "You can sleep here. I hope you don't mind. The bed's not that big but it's enough. Not like we're strangers to each other, right?" <Even though we were close friends only for two weeks, it's as if I've known you all my life... Heh... maybe in a past life? Must be...>

Not able to prevent himself from biting his lower lip, Rukawa took a deep breath before walking over towards the bed. But he stopped suddenly once he stood before it, knowing he was intruding once again. He turned away and looked at the floor. "I think I'll just..."

But he was cut off from his words.

There was a hand holding one of his wrists and he winced immediately, hoping the older boy won't get to notice the scar in that wrist. Thankfully, all other marks to his body had faded throughout the weeks he'd been here in Japan... but there were still the scars...

Stiffening from Sendoh's hand to his wrist, Rukawa felt confused suddenly, not comprehending the move. He looked back at the older boy, seeing softness on Sendoh's eyes.

"Not the floor." Sendoh stated firmly. And then he pulled Rukawa's wrist, tugging Rukawa down so the younger boy would have no choice but to lay beside him. He smiled, facing Rukawa on the bed before turning off the lamp near him and closing his eyes. "'Night, Kaede."

Rukawa continued biting his lips in silence, almost expecting something to happen as darkness engulfed the room. But... looking sideways, he only saw Sendoh already sleeping, the older boy's chest heaving up and down, breathing slow and even breaths.

Shaking his head at the kind person who slept beside him, perhaps for the first time, Rukawa felt a bit more safer than before... finding this friend... this... /brother/...

Closing his eyes, he too went on to sleep...

For tomorrow...

Tomorrow...

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