I woke up this morning thinking, "I really want that hour of my life back." Of course I am referring to the time I wasted watching last night's episode of "The OC" when I could've been doing something productive, such as tearing up hotel rooms like the fucking rock star that I am. Now anyone who knows me understands that I LOVE watching this superb drama about the hardships and tribulations that a group of innocent teenagers must suffer through in order to live in this great land know as Orange County. However, I think that I, along with all the other faithful viewers out there, was shortchanged last night with the episode known as, "We Can't Believe You're Watching This, You Loser Piece Of Shit."
The very first scene we are treated to is Oliver "popping in" (his wording, not mine) at Marissa's sub-standard apartment. Marissa actually apologizes to Oliver for the place, saying that its only "temporary" because her pathetic father "lost his job." More like got his ass kicked at cotillion for embezzelling funds, but I understand her need to whitewash over the truth. At this point I suffered a rage blackout because I realized that Marissa's so-called shithole apartment was about 200 times nicer than the apartment I pay over $1000 a month for in SANTA ANA. I am 27 years old and this show is making me doubt my own life choices. Anyway, Oliver says he wants to take the whole gang out to his mansion in Palm Springs as a way to say thanks to Ryan for "coming to my rescue." This queer guy fantasy theme is then carried into the next scene, where Sandy Cohen attempts to teach Ryan how to hold a golf club, leading to the priceless line, "Just let it hang between your legs like a pendulum." It all goes south from there.
Basically, there were three highlights from this week's episode:
1.) The golf cart chase scene in Palm Springs, where Oliver and Marissa play chicken with Ryan and Luke. The chicken race ends with dumbass Ryan punking out by crashing into some bushes and Luke stating, "That guy was not playing." Leave it to Luke to point out the intricate plot twists that we might have missed.
2.) The frequent use of the Tom Jones classic "Its Not Unusual." Actually, they only played it twice, but I love that song, so I'll give them points for it.
3.) The Nicole Kidman PSA after the show that dealt with alcoholism. After watching the little animated girl wake up with a headache after puking on a police officer's shoe, my friend turned to me and said, "Hey, that was you." I know, dear. I know.
