amy3

WyattEarpa: that's true, you and our mom did have a good conversation
WyattEarpa: she liked you
Hepcat 682: good
Hepcat 682: i figured that she liked to be called mom by some strange guy that she just met
WyattEarpa: she's used to being called mom by my friends
WyattEarpa: that or you can call her shawn, which is her name
WyattEarpa: but mom will also do
Hepcat 682: I'll try to think of something unique to me
WyattEarpa: mom is good!! you can stick with mom!
Hepcat 682: mom is good if I can't think of anything else
WyattEarpa: alrighty. what should i call your mom?
WyattEarpa: and randall?
Hepcat 682: barb and big randall
Hepcat 682: or Rad Randy
Hepcat 682: that's what Brad calls him
WyattEarpa: what would they say if i walked in your house and was like, "hey barb... big randall, what's up?"
Hepcat 682: I don't know, no one's called him big randall to his face
Hepcat 682: we just use big randall when we are talking about him
WyattEarpa: who is we?
Hepcat 682: me, goose, hank, fricke, brad, steve, etc.
WyattEarpa: if all of you say big randall then i definitely need something different
Hepcat 682: we don't say it to his face
WyattEarpa: ok then i can be the only one who says it to his face?
WyattEarpa: i'm sure that will go over well with him
Hepcat 682: I don't know, cause when my friends say randall he says randy, and he's his weight is at an all time high right now
WyattEarpa: well, i'll try it but if he drop kicks me then it's all your fault
Hepcat 682: that's funny cause when we were kids he would kick us and mom would get mad at him
WyattEarpa: you're not instilling confidence right now, jeff
Hepcat 682: like if he was gonna spank us and we tried to run he'd grab our arm and kick us in the butt
WyattEarpa: his history of kicking is not making me more apt to call him big randall
Hepcat 682: funny shit
WyattEarpa: that is funny
WyattEarpa: you used to get spanked?
Hepcat 682: hells yeah, I hope you did too, you better not have gotten gay ass time outs
WyattEarpa: i am the result of time-out parenting
Hepcat 682: oh no
WyattEarpa: why is it gay-ass?
WyattEarpa: and oh-no
Hepcat 682: cause it doesn't do anything
WyattEarpa: my mom used to tell me that she was ashamed of me or disappointed in me and i used to cry
WyattEarpa: she has hit vanessa once
Hepcat 682: that wouldn't have phased me or my brother
Hepcat 682: you get a paddle broken on your butt and that'll let you know you did something wrong
WyattEarpa: i'm a good girl... that's why it upset me so
WyattEarpa: she hit vanessa over the head with the receiver of a phone
Hepcat 682: our heads were off limits
Hepcat 682: one time my mom got made at us and she jumped up and down and we laughed and then we got the shit beat out of us
Hepcat 682: we'd get paddled with those paddle ball paddles
WyattEarpa: it was funny, vanessa was threatening to run away or do something and she was calling her friend and my mom grabbed the phone and just whacked her in the head. she couldn't believe she had done it, vanessa couldn't believe it either
Hepcat 682: that rules
Hepcat 682: I'm gonna tackle my kids
WyattEarpa: i like that you were laughing at your mom jumping up and down
Hepcat 682: it was funny
WyattEarpa: i'm not going to hit my kids
Hepcat 682: we still laugh when we think about it
Hepcat 682: I'm totally am
WyattEarpa: does your mom laugh too?
Hepcat 682: I'm actually looking forward to it
WyattEarpa: then i guess we're never going to get married and have children
WyattEarpa: oh well
Hepcat 682: I don't know, we've never brought it up in front of her
Hepcat 682: sure we can
WyattEarpa: we'll have to leave it at sweet circus monkey sex
WyattEarpa: you'll beat the kids while they're in time-out?
Hepcat 682: you can give them time outs......
WyattEarpa: is that how that will work?
Hepcat 682: and then I'll come in and we'll have a battle royal
Hepcat 682: wow we were totally on the same page
WyattEarpa: maybe we can get married and have kids!
Hepcat 682: I'll give them wiffle ball bats to even the fight a little
WyattEarpa: you should lay out a wiffle ball bat, a jump rope, and some other toy that could be used as a weapon and let them pick one
Hepcat 682: exactly
WyattEarpa: then we can tape it and submit the tape and see if we can get ourselves on jerry springer
Hepcat 682: or lay them out on the other side of me and they have to get past me to get them
WyattEarpa: that too would work
Hepcat 682: and I'll have my hands tied until they got one of them
WyattEarpa: who would untie your hands after they got their weapon? our kids are brats, i wouldn't trust them to untie you
WyattEarpa: actually, child is... kid is oh so very sweet
Hepcat 682: I would be on the honor system not to use my hands then
WyattEarpa: that'll work
WyattEarpa: you can still kick them though, right?
Hepcat 682: right
WyattEarpa: cool
WyattEarpa: so what do we do if they kick your ass?
Hepcat 682: the first time they have to do this they will think its a big game until I kick some little kid ass
Hepcat 682: it wouldn't happen
Hepcat 682: but if it does....
Hepcat 682: then they take on our pet bear
Hepcat 682: cause I'm totally having a pet bear
WyattEarpa: wait a second, we've never discussed pets.
Hepcat 682: and if they beat up the bear, they have to take on the tiger
WyattEarpa: how could you get a pet bear without consulting me?
Hepcat 682: cause I'm totally having a pet tiger too
WyattEarpa: and a tiger! i'm allergic to cats!
Hepcat 682: I'm sure you aren't allergic to tigers
WyattEarpa: it's still a cat
WyattEarpa: how can you be so sure?
Hepcat 682: maybe their teeth, but everybody is allergic to their teeth
WyattEarpa: fine, but i am going to have a monkey that will do house work
Hepcat 682: I'm totally gonna have a monkey too
Hepcat 682: when I grow up I'm gonna live in a zoo
WyattEarpa: nope, you get a bear and a tiger, the monkey is all mine
WyattEarpa: sounds like it
WyattEarpa: i hate the smell of the primate house though, i hope a single monkey won't smell that bad
Hepcat 682: plus I'm gonna have midget butlers and housekeepers and stuff
Hepcat 682: one monkey is fine, just as long as he throw his poo
WyattEarpa: no you're not, midgets creep me out
WyattEarpa: i draw the line at midgets
Hepcat 682: ok I guess I can do with out the midgets
WyattEarpa: good, i'm glad
Hepcat 682: how about for entertainment we have our kids fight midgets
WyattEarpa: we are such a good couple, we know the art of compromisation
WyattEarpa: nope, no midgets whatsoever
Hepcat 682: alright
WyattEarpa: thank you
WyattEarpa: well, on that note, i should go to bed
WyattEarpa: i can dream about our wonderful future together