One Act in A Tragedy
Part 5
Author: Ruby-Flame Jedi Queen
Rating: PG-13
Feedback: I've worked long and hard and would LOVE any comments! ^_^
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If Palpatine had been born an animal, rather than a person, I have decided that he would have been a spider. For he spent all his time spinning elaborate webs, and eventually we, the flies, flew into them, despite our suspicions, or my suspicions, of its presence. What makes this all the more ironic is that it is nearly impossible to sneak up on a fly because of its multi-faceted vision, yet we, the flies, could not see this web being constructed around us. So we continued buzzing through the unfolding events, unaware little flies that we were, compelled by some sense of urgency�
Amidala had fallen into an exhausted (dreamless, thankfully) slumber shortly after the sleek ship had lifted off Naboo, and she did not awaken until the soft warmth of fingers caressed her cheek at the same time that her stomach lurched, which always signaled a ship�s descent. Even before Amidala opened her eyes, she knew that the fingers belonged to Anakin, or rather; she felt it. So she pretended to be asleep for just little while longer because she was enjoying the thrill that his fingers sent across her skin as they traced shapes around her face and then ran gently through her hair�she would never have told Anakin this, of course. But the ship was landing, and Anakin must have felt that he needed to �wake� Amidala up, for his fingers left her face and hair and instead found a place on her shoulder, lightly shaking her.
�Padme,� he murmured in a smooth, hypnotic voice that nearly made Amidala squeeze her eyes closed tighter so that she could hear the silky sound of her name rolling off of his lips again, �Padme, wake up.�
Reluctantly, Amidala made a show of rubbing her eyes and yawning awake, and even though she already knew the answer, Amidala blinked at Anakin and then asked, in a playful mood that she accredited to Anakin�s voice, �Have we arrived?� A slight smile painted her lips.
Anakin, from the looks of him, had not enjoyed the same blissful rest as the woman before him; circles were forming beneath his troubled eyes, and these circles reminded Amidala of the reason they had even bothered to leave the resort: Anakin�s mother. Amidala sobered up a bit�now was not the time to joke around. Anakin tried to smile, but the attempt was a bit pathetic. �Yes. We�re here,� Anakin said, swallowing the words with a fear that Amidala knew stemmed from his nightmares. She suddenly recalled her own vivid nightmare about Ani�s mother that she had had two nights ago, and she shuddered.
At that moment Amidala realized three things: 1) that she wanted very much to hug Anakin and hold him in her arms and tell him everything would be okay 2) that a heavy feeling in her gut told her that she couldn't act on number 1 and 3) that added to this heavy feeling in her gut was a pang of hunger in her stomach, for she hadn�t eaten anything all day. Since Amidala could not go with option 1 because not only did she feel that it was a lie, but it would only encourage Ani�s desire to, as she had phrased it earlier �live a lie,� Amidala decided to pursue option number 3. �Anakin, we both need our strength before we try to locate your mother, so is it possible to stop and eat something before���Anakin interrupted Amidala with a tried to muster a smile as he assured her senator that they would eat.
�I�m planning on paying Watto a visit right after we eat. But until then I think we both need, especially me, a little energy boost. If that is all right with you, M�Lady. The part about Watto, I mean. I don�t mean to make this trip any more uncomfortable for you then it already is. I can always take you back if you wish�� Anakin was rambling, attempting to lighten his mood. Somehow, Amidala couldn�t quite help but think that it was rather cute, his tendency to ramble because in a way it made him seem vulnerable, which made Amidala want to comfort Anakin even if it did mean she was only encouraging his feelings for her. But she hadn�t exactly intended for her true feelings slip out either, yet they did, �Ani, I wouldn�t have come if I did want to be with you.�
Anakin met her eyes squarely (he must not have known the effect this had on her or else he would not have done it at that moment), and he smiled, with a distant look clouding his eyes. �Let�s go then, M�Lady,� he suggested, and motioned for her to exit the ship first. Amidala stepped out of the cool, dark interior of the ship into a completely different scene. Sun was beating down on a world of sand, where the hustle and bustle of people going about their daily lives was quite a change from the silence of space. Amidala�s mind was instantly transported back ten years ago, when she had insisted on �queen�s orders� to accompany Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi onto Tatooine. Stealing a glance at Ani, Amidala suddenly realized that she was very happy that she had insisted on coming here.
But now her reason to come here was not quite the same. Through breakfast and as they neared Watto�s Junkyard, the heavy feeling in Amidala�s gut continued to grow, and Anakin must have had a similar feeling, for neither one of them spoke a word. Words would not mask the reality of why they were here anymore. Amidala felt Anakin growing impatient. She prayed that Watto would bring them good news.
A rickshaw, one popular mode of transportation on Tatooine that looked like a chair pulled by a droid on a single wheel, brought them to Watto�s junkyard. Anakin wordlessly escorted Amidala out of the rickshaw, but his eyes met hers for a moment, and she could have sworn that they were smiling at her, saying, �Thank you, M�Lady. Without you here I would be lost.� Amidala wondered if she had actually heard these words in her mind or just imagined them.
Watto looked unkempt and grubby, as if his business had fallen apart since the last time Amidala had seen him, but otherwise he was, for the most part, the same old Watto that she had known. Money was still the first thing on his mind. She watched as Ani spoke to Watto in Huttese, and though she did not understand what the two said, she did feel a surge of fondness toward Anakin as she noticed his attention shift quickly to a piece of equipment that Watto had been trying to fix. With a slight smile, Amidala realized that Anakin was still in many ways the witty mechanical genius that she had first met ten years ago. Anakin said more words in Huttese, and finally recognition spread through Watto�s face and he said in English, with disbelief, �Ani? Little Ani? Naaaah!�
As if in reply, the piece of equipment in Anakin�s hands sprung to life. Watto blinked at it, for a moment struggling with the idea of Anakin�s quick success, and then he was fully convinced that it was Anakin after all. �You are Ani! It is you! You sure sprouted, huh?�
Watto continued to speak, but Anakin was not in the mood for small talk. �My mother...� he crisply re-directed the conversation.
Watto continued to speak, saying that Shmi was no longer his; she had been sold. Amidala felt Anakin cringe at this news. Don�t start worrying yet, Amidala thought in her mind, nearly slipping and squeezing Anakin�s hand to comfort him. But no, she could not touch him and go back on her words; her presence had to be enough comfort for now. Amidala listened as Watto continued to describe how the man, Lars, who bought Shmi had freed and married her. But for some reason, even this bit of good news did not loosen the knot in Amidala�s gut. Something still felt amiss.
�Do you know where they are now?� Anakin persisted, not wanting to waste one second of time.
As Watto disclosed his idea of Shmi�s whereabouts, Amidala felt her mind wander. She suddenly thought of the horrible nightmares that she (*they*) had had so long ago, and the snake-like voice from a nightmare long-ago echoed in her mind, taunting, �I wouldn't quite relax if I were you.�
�Ani!� Amidala whispered, urgently, but he did not hear her; Watto was speaking, �Yeah... sure... absolutely. Let�s go look in my records.�
Anakin followed Watto into what remained of Watto�s old shop, and Amidala reluctantly followed, not quite knowing if she wanted the records of Anakin�s mother to be found. Amidala remembered that she had felt this same sick feeling when she had been queen and had to watch her people suffer from afar.
I was able to help them then, though Amidala thought to herself. She glanced towards Anakin, who was still speaking to Watto, and she took notice of his furrowed brow and troubled eyes. She could do nothing to help him. Amidala bit her bottom lip. She did not like feeling helpless, but she could not comfort Anakin in any way other than simply being with him. Somehow, this did not feel like enough.
Amidala tried to distract herself by taking in her surroundings. The walls were bare; a stark juxtaposition to the heaps of abandoned machinery that cluttered the floor. The bare walls, however, were not white as they had once been, but a repulsive yellow hue, with occasional stains of brown or black and portions of the wall that looked as though heavy objects had been thrown against them. Amidala sighed. Her surroundings could not distract her at all; they only added to the ominous mood which enshrouded her like a veil.
I wouldn't quite relax if I were you�
A light touch on her arm made Amidala take a quick step backwards, startled out of her thoughts.
�We�ve got to go,� it was Anakin, now finished with his conversation with Watto, who had placed his had on her arm. He appeared to be so preoccupied that he did not seem to notice Amidala�s embarrassing fright, and Amidala would have been thankful for his preoccupation if it had been over any light matter. But Anakin�s distant thoughts were concentrated on his mother, and Amidala was well aware of how important Anakin�s mother was to him. She thought of her own mother, Sola, and the separation that they had endured when Amidala had gone through rigorous training for her election as queen. She had been about the same age as Anakin had been when he had left his mother, but the separation had not been quite as difficult. Amidala had still been allowed to visit her mother once or twice a week, and they had not been planets apart. Amidala wondered why the Jedi did not allow Anakin to visit his mother at all. She had a sneaking suspicion that it was connected to their mandate about attachment, but she decided to think about the politics of it later. For now, Anakin needed her quiet support. Anakin could become very angry with the Jedi when the subject of his mother was involved, and Amidala did not want to be the detonator for Anakin�s anger.
But Amidala�s mind kept wandering back to the nightmares, particularly the conversation that she and Anakin had had when they discovered that they were both having the same nightmares. "Ani, I don't know why, but I think someone is...sending US these dreams," she had said.
Amidala followed Anakin back to the ship, silently pondering the meaning behind all the unfolding events. Both Anakin and Amidala remained unusually silent during the flight to the Lars� homestead, where Watto had informed them that Shmi could be found.
�We�re here,� Anakin said, his voice trembling a bit, as he set the Naboo Starship down on a bluff overlooking a small homestead. Amidala pushed away the darker thoughts that had enveloped her during the trip, and stood up to move towards Anakin. She was about to place a hand on his shoulder when he choked out the word, �Don�t.� Amidala withdrew her hand, feeling a bit stung, but she quickly understood his reasoning when he turned around and plaintively fixated his blue eyes on hers. He was not in the mood to be comforted by any gesture, so Amidala hoped that simply being with him would be enough. They exited the ship side by side and were both silent except for Amidala�s request for Artoo to stay with the ship.
As they approached the homestead, a familiar droid greeted them. Upon recognizing C-3PO, Anakin�s mood brightened a little, but he quickly returned to the subject of his mother. When Threepio would not directly answer Anakin�s request to see his mother, Amidala felt her stomach lurch. Something was amiss. She stole a glance at Anakin�s face, but his expression was unreadable. Amidala returned her gaze the pale desert sand and felt her feet take automatic steps towards the homestead.
Anakin wasted no time on small talk. Threepio introduced them to Owen Lars and Beru Whitesun, and quickly after the introduction, Anakin returned to the matter of his mother once again. He received no concrete response from Owen and Beru and there would have been an awkward pause had a man on a small floating chair not entered the courtyard where Amidala and Anakin were standing. He introduced himself as Cliegg, and gave the �We should go inside; we have a lot to talk about,� evasive response. Amidala knew that this could only mean bad news, and she could feel tension and worry emanating from Anakin like waves. Anakin remained silent as Cliegg led them into the homestead kitchen and began to speak, carefully relinquishing his words.
�It was just before dawn. They came out of nowhere. A hunting party of Tusken Raiders.�
Amidala felt Anakin shift in his seat, and almost wished that Cliegg would not continue, to spare Anakin the pain. But the story continued, recounting an attack on Anakin�s mother, and Amidala did not take her eyes off of Ani the whole time. She saw the pain wash over him, and then the hard resolve that replaced it. She suddenly realized what Anakin had in mind. Owen asked where Anakin was going, but Amidala knew Ani well enough to know his response, �To find my mother.�
Cliegg replied by plainly stating what he had hinted to in his speech, �Your mother is dead, son. Accept it,� but Anakin was no longer listening to reason. Amidala wanted to beg him to stay, but she knew Anakin well enough to know that at this point, her words would fall on deaf ears. Besides, he had the right to try and find her. Perhaps she was still alive, but even if she wasn�t, Anakin needed to find closure.
Amidala allowed Anakin to walk away from them, but when he had left the homestead, all three pairs of eyes turned on her. Amidala lowered her gaze and bit her lip. She didn�t want to have to explain anything to Cliegg, Beru, or Owen just yet, so she raised her head and returned their gaze and said, �Excuse me,� and then followed the path that Anakin had taken. She found him just outside the homestead�s entrance, looking out across the vast Tatooine desert. She approached him without restriction this time, only wanting his pain to go away.
Even in his pain, Anakin�s clarity of mind and resolve did not waver. And his tenderness towards Amidala was still apparent as well. He told her, �You are going to have to stay here. These are good people, Padme. You'll be safe,� And somehow just these words overwhelmed Amidala.
�Anakin�� she said and embraced him, wanting so much to tell him of her love before he left. But she could not manage to say anything other than his name. But from the way he returned her embrace and accepted her comforting hold around him, Amidala knew that he understood. When the moment ended, and Amidala had to reluctantly let go, she gazed up and Anakin and suddenly realized that she could not live without him. It was like an epiphany, and nothing had ever been clearer.
�I have to go,� Anakin said, his resolve winning over his reluctance to leave her.
Amidala watched him mount the speeder bike with a heavy heart. She had not wanted to live a lie by having to have a secret relationship, but Amidala suddenly realized that by pretending that no relationship existed, she was living a lie anyway. She was lying to her heart.
Anakin soon disappeared into the distance, and when she could no longer see him, Amidala felt as if a hole had been drilled into her soul. What if he should only discover his mother�s remains? Amidala could hardly bear to think of it. She could still see the little Ani in her mind�s eye complaining of the cold in space and the space he could feel growing between he and his mother. That was the last time he saw her. Why were the Jedi so weary of relationships? Keeping loved ones apart did could not be healthy for either party, Amidala thought. If only the Senate had more of a voice in Jedi affairs� Amidala sighed and seated herself upon a white storage box with her face held between her hands. There was nothing that she could do but wait, and she didn�t feel like spending that wait with Beru, Cleigg, or Owen. Too many thoughts were racing through her mind. She thought about the way she had felt when she first saw Anakin again. His appearance had greatly resembled the way he had looked in her previous nightmare, and it had elicited the same initial feeling as in the dream, although she was reluctant to admit it to herself: desire. Could there be a future for them? What was the greater lie�deceiving others or her heart?
�Padme,� Owen�s voice suddenly came from behind her. Padme slowly lifted her head, still feeling empty inside, and turned to face him.
�Padme, I hope you realize that we did all that we could�� Owen glanced down at the Tatooine sand and fidgeted a bit with his robe. Amidala could tell that he was being genuine and only wanted to help ease the tension a bit.
�Owen, I don�t blame any of you for this,� Amidala assured him, �what has happened has hurt all of you as well, so I would never doubt that your efforts weren�t most whole-hearted. You must remember, however, that Anakin has some�advantages being a Jedi. If anyone is to find Shmi, I trust it will be him. I only fear for what he may find.
Owen nodded but did not look up. His silence told Amidala that he agreed, and she realized that he was afraid. Cleigg�s household was also dreading a confirmation of their worst fears. Amidala wanted to hope for the best, but as Cleigg had said, Shmi had been missing for a long time, and the Tuskens were not the most forgiving or civilized species.
No longer wanting to be selfish, as others were apparently also suffering from heavy hearts, Amidala stood up and placed a hand on Owens� shoulder. �Let�s go inside. Waiting like this won�t help matters any. Perhaps you could show me around a little.�
Owen looked up and forced a smile. �Yes. I�m sure Beru would like that.�
Before entering the homestead, Amidala cast one more look out towards the sinking sun and rising twin moons. Hurry Ani.
***
�What?� Amidala had just a moment ago been listening to Beru and Owen speak while seated in their living room, and now she found herself struggling to see and unable to move. Everything was pitch black and Amidala felt like she was lying down inside a large crate, which felt like it was pressing down upon her and made her breaths come in staggered gasps of air. From somewhere outside, she heard a cry of anger and pain; one that only could have belonged to Anakin.
�Anakin?� Amidala voiced, trying to remain calm even though a sense of dread was building within her.
Silence. Darkness.
�Anakin!� she cried once again, suddenly realizing where she was�the nightmares of her past�a coffin�
With that thought, a sudden force crashed down upon the coffin and caused it to fly apart. Amidala found herself in a dark grotto, and before her stood Anakin, wielding a lightsaber. His face was twisted into a frightening mask of hatred.
Amidala gasped, but saw that he was not looking at her.
�Anakin, what�s wrong?� Amidala begged of him, but he continued to stand with his lightsaber raised and his face contorted. He began to take a few steps forward.
�Anakin? Listen to me!� she pleaded. But he continued to walk forward, now wildly swinging his lightsaber for side to side, until he disappeared.
And then Amidala heard that sinister laughter rise like a damp cloud of air from the grotto walls�
***
�Padme�� a light touch on her shoulder and a female�s voice dispelled the horrible nightmare. �Padme. Wake up.�
Amidala opened her eyes and at first was confused. Where was she? Then she remembered, and all the images from the night before rushed into her conscious mind. Owen and Beru had shown her around the homestead, and then she had changed into more comfortable attire and had been listening to the Lars� speaking in the living room when she must have fallen asleep. And now Beru was standing before her, and Anakin had gone to�
�Anakin! Has he returned?� Amidala asked anxiously.
Beru looked down and shook her head. �Not yet. But Cleigg has been outside since dawn. He just said to wake you now in case he spots the speeder bike coming in from a distance. Anakin should be here very soon.�
Amidala quickly pushed aside her own fatigue and the remnants of her nightmare and stood up. �Then I must wait out there with him.�
Beru nodded. Just then, Owen came running into the homestead. �Good morning, Padme. Hurry, Cleigg has just spotted Anakin.�
Owen, Beru, and Amidala wasted no time exiting the homestead to where Cleigg was seated. Cleigg pointed out to the west where a small black dot was growing larger by the second. �There he is,� Cleigg confirmed.
Amidala watched as the dot grew larger into a human�s figure and then was close enough to label as Anakin. Finally, he reached to homestead and Amidala�s heart dropped when he did, for there, tied onto his speeder bike and wrapped in cloth was the body of his mother.
There were no words that she could offer him as he picked up her limp body and cradled it in his arms, walking towards the homestead. Anakin�s face was so full of pain, and almost accusation, as his gaze lingered on Cleigg. Then he made his way towards the homestead. And Amidala cautiously followed behind him.
�If I hadn�t gone away, none of this would have happened. We�d be happy,� Anakin voiced allowed, and abruptly sat down in the sand with his mother�s body in his lap.
Cleigg was the first to speak, �But you�d still be slaves.�
Anakin didn�t even look up at him. �But at least she�d still be alive and we�d be happy.�
�If you worry about her happiness, Anakin, I can assure you that she was very happy here.�
�Here?!� Anakin asked incredulously, tears beginning to well in his eyes. �She was happy when we lived together!�
Cleigg seemed to take some offense at that statement, �Anakin, Shmi was my wife. I freed her, married her, took care of her��
�Care?! This would have never happened if I had stayed,� Anakin interjected.
Now Owen must have taken some offense as well, �Anakin, your mother was well loved here. You are not the only one who cared for her.�
Anakin looked up towards him, his face now lined by fresh tears of anguish, and he furrowed his brow in a display of jealousy. This made Amidala very uncomfortable. Anakin had always been protective, but he was about to cross the line and insult this family�s love for Shmi because of his childish hold on his mother. Amidala had to stop him from speaking, so she placed a single hand upon his shoulder, drawing his attention back to her. He lifted his head and looked at her, at the pleading look in her eyes, and then dropped his head back down towards his mother in resignation. More silent tears streamed from his face.
Always the negotiator, Amidala broke the tense silence by suggesting, �Let�s not fight. What we need to do now is have a proper burial for Shmi. Anakin, I think you should allow Owen and Cleigg to take of this,� Amidala waited for some sort of acknowledgement from Anakin, but he did not respond. �Anakin,� she whispered. This time, he wiped the tears off of his cheeks, stood up, and handed his mother�s body to Owen.
�The shifter on the speeder broke,� he mumbled, �I�m going to fix it.� He left the homestead without another word and Beru exchanged a worried glance with Amidala.
�Let�s go to the kitchen, Padme. You can fix him something to eat there. It might help,� Beru suggested.
�Thank you,� Amidala replied. Then she added, �I�m very sorry,� to the Cleigg and Owen, apologizing both for the unfortunate events and for Anakin�s behavior.
Cleigg nodded. �So are we. Owen and I will make the preparations. You two go on.�
***
In the kitchen, Beru and Amidala prepared a small breakfast for everyone. They worked in silence for a while, until finally Beru asked Amidala, �Do you love him?�
Amidala was taken aback by her bold inquiry. She didn�t know how to respond.
�I�m sorry,� Beru returned to her meek disposition. Then, as an afterthought, she added, �I just�I know that I tried to hide what I felt for Owen for a long time, when we met as our parents, who were both moisture farmers, did business. My parents frowned upon Owen and I�ve never figured out why, so I tried to dismiss the way I felt. But it only made things harder�believe it or not, Anakin reminds me a bit of Owen before we were together. Impulsive, quick to become angry. Owen was as torn between his emotions as I was, and that was the way he reacted. And we both really needed the love that we tried to deny��
Amidala was suddenly touched by the amount of trust that Beru had placed in her to tell her these things. She sighed and began to set up a platter for Anakin. �Yes,� she said and had to wait for her heart to stop pounding so that she could say the rest. �Yes, I love him. I have never told him. When he tried to speak of it once, I warned him of living a lie. He is a Jedi, and they are not allowed such�attachments. And I have my place in the senate��
Beru suddenly interrupted her, �With all due respect, Padme, is it not the Jedi who kept Anakin away from his mother? Do you think that was good for either of them? Whenever Shmi mentioned Anakin, I could see the love that she held for him and how much it pained her to be without him. Is that what you would have?�
Amidala was shocked at how perceptive Beru could be, but was also taken aback by her frankness. But she was right. Amidala frowned and bit her bottom lip. �I think I should go to him,� was her only reply, and Beru nodded. Amidala picked up the tray and went to find Ani, who was in the Homestead garage as she had predicted.
Is that what you would have? Beru�s words echoed in Amidala�s head as she watched Anakin, his brow still furrowed, idly flipping a switch on and off. He didn�t even sense her presence right away as he normally did, so distracted by his thoughts, but as soon as he did, he tried to act as if he was getting a great deal of work done.
�I brought you something,� Amidala said, hoping that her gesture would elicit some conversation from him.
�The shifter broke,� he replied once again, but Amidala was unsure if he was addressing her or himself, �Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things.�
His words brought back something that Sache, her handmaiden, had once said, �When I�m upset, I just like to go and do something productive. I don�t like to feel so out of control. So I do something that makes me feel like I am in control."
Anakin continued to speak, and Amidala remained silent, pondering the meaning of his words along with Sache�s. �...Why'd she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have.�
Amidala paused before answering, �Sometimes there are things no one can fix. You're not all powerful Anakin.� Her response elicited another memory. What her martial arts trainer had once told her as he taught Amidala the basics of hand-to-hand combat. �Remember that no person is all powerful. Never fear your opponent, but never underestimate him either. The desire for power is from where some will draw their strength. But ultimately, it will be their greatest weakness.�
Anakin�s response frightened Amidala as it was filled with what her trainer had warned against, the desire for power. It was a desire that she had felt before but never acted upon, for it was too often seen among politicians, and Amidala refused to be a corrupt politician.
��I should be!� Anakin was saying. �Someday I will be! I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! I promise you.� Anakin�s emotions were now plainly visible on his face. �I will even learn to stop people from dying.�
�Anakin�� Amidala tried to cut him off to warn him of the dangers of his line of thought.
Anakin did not want to hear it. �It's all Obi-Wan's fault!� he raved, �He's jealous! He's holding me back!� and with that, Anakin hurled an object against the wall, suddenly about to break. Something other than his mother�s death was troubling him; Amidala could feel it.
�What's wrong, Ani?� she asked, a knot forming in her stomach before he even spoke. Do I really want to know?
�I....I killed them,� he said, almost void of emotion. �I killed them all. They're dead�every single one of them. And not just the men�but the women and the children too.�
Amidala�s thoughts reeled. This did not seem like the Jedi way! His anger was understandable, but this�
�They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!�
Amidala did not know how to respond as Anakin slid down to the floor, overwhelmed by his emotions. She thought back to her earlier conversation with Beru. Then she tried to put herself in Anakin�s shoes. Would she have reacted any differently? Finally, she kneeled down next to Anakin. �To be angry is to be human,� she said, neither condoning nor reproaching him for his actions. He must tire of my diplomatic responses�.
Anakin looked her squarely in the eyes, �I�m a Jedi. I know I�m better than this,� and at that moment the fear that Amidala had felt when Anakin had said that he should be all-powerful evaporated. Now she could see the young Ani and his remorse replace the power-hungry Anakin of a minute before. The present Anakin was the one that she loved, and what he needed now was simply to be comforted. Amidala stroked the side of his head with her hand as he continued to sob, and as she did this, she was overwhelmed with compassion for him. Yes, he had made a terrible mistake, but he was suffering from a terrible pain as well. His mother had been the true love of his life, and despite all of his Jedi training, he had not been able to save her. He must feel so inadequate, and Amidala knew that Anakin feared most of all being inadequate. Amidala knew because she had a similar fear. All these thoughts crossed Amidala�s mind, but she did not speak any of them and instead allowed Anakin to sob, wrapping her arm around him and holding him close to her until he was finally void of tears.
***
Beru came to the garage to summon Anakin and Amidala, and Amidala almost felt a twinge of sadness that she had to break away from Anakin�s embrace. For once, she hadn�t felt guilty being with him at all, and despite his sorrow, a part of her had been happy to be guilt-free in his arms. Comforting him. Comforting the one that she loved.
The funeral felt surreal to Amidala, for the whole time she felt her heart crying out for the man before her. Although she didn�t quite comprehend the depth of his sorrow�of his helplessness, she did understand these feelings within herself.
Who was Amidala�s real master? The senate that she served and didn�t want to risk deceiving�or her heart?
Amidala thought back to the retreat in Naboo, where she had angrily dismissed her emotions for Anakin. Like a coward, Amidala now realized. She had tried to escape her emotions like a coward. She had always had a difficult time coming to terms with her emotions. As a politician, she was always trying to lock them away, relying on logic instead. But what she felt for Ani�it was beyond the rules of logic. It was a magical, pulsing thing, and as Amidala watched Anakin fall to his knees before his mother�s burial ground, she realized that she never wanted to be apart from him. She never wanted to see him in this kind of pain again.
She had to do what was right. But was it right to feel something that would have to be kept a secret from everyone?
A tootle from R2D2 dragged Amidala out of her thoughts.
�What are you doing here?� she asked Artoo, for a moment taken aback that he would interrupt.
Threepio answered for him, �It seems he is carrying a message from someone called Obi-Wan Kenobi. Does that mean anything to you, Master Anakin?�
Anakin and Amidala exchanged looks with each other and then with the Lars�. Their looks established the end of the funeral so that Anakin, Amidala, and the droids could hurry over to the starship. From the frown on Anakin�s face, Amidala only anticipated more bad news.
Artoo activated the hologram of Obi-Wan that Anakin quickly re-routed to the Jedi council. Amidala watched him speak of a clone army and felt a knot tighten in her stomach. Along with this knot, a surge of anger passed through her when he revealed that Nute Gunray had been behind the assassination attempts on her life.
For a moment Amidala let her thoughts drift back to the time when her handmaidens had visited her in the infirmary and had told her that people were worried that she had some sort of mental instability. All of the fear, the paranoia, the dread of being someone�s next target�these had been horrible emotions! Horrible emotions inflicted by Nute Gunray�
But Amidala�s own anger was short-lived as Obi-Wan continued to say, � ...Alliance have pledged their armies to Count Dooku and are forming a... Wait!... Wait�!� And suddenly sounds of gunfire exploded around Obi-Wan as he moved away to reveal a droideka.
The hologram cut off.
Amidala stole a glance at Anakin and saw fear and disbelief pass across his face.
Poor Ani, Amidala thought. First his mother and now his mentor in trouble�
Mace Windu spoke to Anakin from the Jedi council and reminded him that his first priority was to protect Amidala at all costs.
This is when Amidala realized that she had almost forgotten the reason Anakin had been assigned to stay with her in the first place. Her mind drifted back to the most recent assassination attempt and she shuddered at how close those monstrous insects had come to actually poisoning her�
Mace Windu also advised Anakin to stay put. At these words, Amidala frowned and turned to a display on the ships control panel.
�They'll never get there in time to save him. They have to come half way across the galaxy,� Amidala mused, more to herself then to Anakin. Then she realized that Mace might not be able to save Obi-Wan in time. �Look,� she said to Anakin, bringing his attention to the console, �Geonosis is less than a parsec away.�
Amidala hit the button that revealed a map of the star systems around them. Anakin averted his eyes and began to pace, �If he's still alive.�
For a moment, Amidala did not understand. How could he feel so duty-bound to Mace when he had already gone against his previous orders (given by Obi-Wan, nonetheless) and come to Tatooine? Now he had the chance to save his friend, and Amidala had already sworn to herself not to ever let Ani endure the pain of his mother�s death. They had to go help Obi-Wan.
�Ani, are you just going to sit here and let him die?? He's your friend... your mentor...�
Anakin cut her off, clearly fighting an inner battle that Amidala would never truly comprehend. �...He's like my father,� Anakin admitted, now meeting Amidala�s gaze for a moment. But then his eyes lowered t the floor again. �But you heard Master Windu. He gave me strict orders to stay here.�
The politician in Amidala suddenly told her what to do. It was time for a little word play�
�He gave you strict orders to protect me...� Amidala acknowledge, pressing the buttons that would cause the engines to fire, �...and I'm going to help Obi-Wan.�
With a mischievous smile, Amidala felt the engines whir to life and turned to face Anakin to tell him, �If you plan to protect me, you�ll just have to come along.�
Amidala�s plan worked. Not only did she get a grin from the man that she secretly loved, but she was able to convince him to take the controls.
�Very clever,� Anakin admitted once her Naboo Starship was in the air.
�Thank you,� Amidala answered, turning her head to the side and grinning smugly.
Anakin suppressed a laugh and tried to make his face very serious, �Of course, this only confirms my beliefs on the manipulative nature of politicians.�
He was joking, but for a moment, Amidala remembered the bad feeling that she had always had around a certain politician�a politician who had someone found his way into many of her nightmares�
Anakin saw her frown, and took a hand off of the console long enough to lift her chin slightly and ask, �You okay? I didn�t mean to offend you��
His soft touch sent an electric current through Amidala�s body that caused a slight shudder of excitement. And the way that his sincere blue eyes met hers made Amidala�s breath catch in her throat. She wanted to kiss him, and she could tell that he felt the same way and almost bent in to do so.
But then he seemed to remember their previous conversation, and he quickly pulled away.
�I�m sorry, M�Lady,� he muttered, losing himself in the controls, and Amidala sighed at the sudden formalities. She wished that she could take back every word that she had said at the Naboo retreat.
Why hadn�t she just enjoyed their kiss? Now that moment felt so far away.
***
Geonosis suddenly loomed large before Anakin and Amidala. It was a brown and orange planet surrounded by many rings. Amidala had never been on Geonosis before, and did not know much about the planet.
Uncertainty flooded her, and she hoped her was not making a mistake by coming here. She wished that Anakin would squeeze her hand to reassure her, but he hadn�t spoken to her since their last�close call.
Before long the ship had entered the planet. Amidala looked out the vast landscape filled with barren plateaus and ridges. She started to remember something she had learned about the geography of this planet. Yes, it was mostly constructed of large rocky plateaus and vents of exhaust the released pressure from inside the planet�s core. She directed Anakin to one of these, and he must have read her mind because he decided to put the ship down there. An exhaust vent was probably the safest place to hide a ship on Geonosis. The uncertainty that Amidala had felt before evaporated like the gases floating outside of the ship. She suddenly remembered what Obi-Wan had said about a clone army and a gathering of many groups under Dooku�s influence. Such events could lead to a war, and Amidala had already tasted the fruits of war first-hand during her term as queen on Naboo. The fruits were bitter indeed, and had to be avoided at all costs.
�Look, whatever happens out there, follow my lead,� she instructed Anakin, remembering their previous discussion about Jedi and �aggressive negotiations.� �I�m not interested in getting into a war here. As a member of the senate, maybe I can find a diplomatic solution to this mess.�
For a second, Anakin looked like he didn�t know how to react to Amidala�s sudden gung-ho lecture. Then in the next second, he almost suppressed a smile that seemed to say �this is why I love you so much.� And then, a second later, his smile faded away into a face that seemed to find all these situations very ironic. Anakin suddenly looked as though a bitter taste had formed in his mouth.
�Don�t worry,� he finally replied, �I�ve given up trying to argue with you.�
And in the way he said it, Amidala sensed that he was not really referring to her previous comment, but to their conversation at the Naboo Lake Retreat. It was as if he were giving in to her silly denial of their love.
Amidala almost wanted to scream, �You can�t give up! You�re supposed to fight for me!� But she bit her tongue and remembered that all of this was her fault anyway. Then she decided to pretend like she hadn�t picked up on Anakin�s connotation.
Her pretense of ignorance and her whirling emotions soon were suppressed by the overwhelming reality of danger as she walked in unison with Anakin into a tunnel-like cave, filled with stalagmites and an eerie, foreboding silence. Slowly, she and Anakin stepped deeper into the �cave� until suddenly the air seemed to vibrate with a certain intensity.
�Wait�� Anakin signaled for her to stop and seemed to reach out with the Force to feel the air around them. Suddenly, winged created from above detached themselves from the walls against which they had been lying in wait. Anakin turned and ignited his lightsaber, and Amidala took her opportunity to run forwards to the end of the tunnel, where she found a button that unlatched a metal door. The sound of the lightsaber faded away, and suddenly Anakin was at her side again. But the sight before them was not promising. They had been standing on a ledge outside of the tunnel door, and without warning the door shut behind them and the ledge retracted. Anakin managed to get a handhold on the door, but Amidala felt herself fall towards a conveyor belt below, where a machine parts were being welded together in some sort of assembly line. The conveyor belt soon was taking Amidala towards various machines that would easily crush her. Completely in survival mode, Amidala calculated the right time to run underneath the crushing machines and past the welding machines in a terrifying maze of machine assembly.
�Anakin!� she cried out in her mind, but the presence that suddenly appeared before her was not her love, but one of the winged creatures that she had faced before. She struggled against it, but it was much stronger and suddenly pushed her over the edge of the assembly line. Amidala expected a long fall to her death and squeezed her eyes shut, seeing only Ani� face, but as quickly as she had fallen, she felt an impact, and found that she had landed in some sort of containment barrel.
For a moment, Amidala allowed herself a sign of relief. And then she noticed the fate of the other barrels. They were being filled with red plasma that would surely be so hot that Amidala�s flesh would quickly disintegrate within it.
With a certain amount of irony, Amidala realized that she would have rather fallen to her death.
But there was no time for irony. The plasma dispenser was nearing her barrel, and Amidala realized that the walls of the barrel were too high for her to scale. When her barrel was next in line to be injected with plasma, Amidala frantically tried to climb out anyway�
�And then by some miracle, the plasma dispenser shut down and the clamps holding onto her barrel released her. Still inside of the barrel, Amidala felt her stomach lurch and she looked up and realized that she was falling. But this fall did not last long either, and she was still alive, so Amidala allowed herself another sigh of relief. But once again it was short-lived, for several winged creatures with blasters suddenly surrounded her. Grabbing each of her arms, they lifted her high above the assembly line and out another door into another large cave-like room where a cloaked figure sat at a long stone table as if expecting her. Amidala looked over to her right and saw that the winged creatures and a bounty hunter had a hold on Anakin as well.
Emotions flooded Amidala�.the first was relief (Anakin was safe), the second was fear (what would happen to them?), the third was embarrassment (so much for a rescue), and the forth was resolve to appear every bit of the senator that she was, even in the face of defeat.
�Senator Amidala, I've heard so much about you,� the cloaked figure said, and stepped out of the shadow so that Amidala could see his face.
He was an older man, but he radiated a certain amount of power, and though Amidala had never met this man before, she was almost sure of who it was. �Count Dooku, I assume.�
Count Dooku began by traded a bit of meaningless banter. But Amidala�s resolve wouldn�t allow for such games. She got right to the point, �You are holding a Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Kenobi. I am formally requesting you turn him over to me, now.�
Amidala spoke more boldly than she felt. And from Dooku�s snicker, he was well aware of her foolishly brazen words. �He has been convicted of espionage, Senator, and will be executed. In just a few hours, I believe,� Count Dooku paused to gloat, but Amidala knew better than to give away any emotions. She would not give him the satisfaction.
Amidala stole a glance at Anakin before she continued. His eyes sent her a very clear warning, be careful what you say.
�He is an officer of the Republic. You can't do that,� Amidala countered, her voice never wavering.
�We don't recognize the Republic here, Senator. But if Naboo were to join our Alliance, I could easily hear your plea for clemency,� Dooku said, pretending to be reasonable.
But once he said this, Amidala knew that any exchange of words would be futile. Suddenly, all she cared about was Anakin�s safety. She hoped she wasn�t giving away too many emotions as she said, �And if I don't join your rebellion, I assume this Jedi with me will also die?�
Dooku�s response didn�t directly answer her question, but its meaning was clear, �I don't wish to make you to join our cause against your will, Senator�� Amidala tuned out for a moment as she stole another glance at Anakin, who was at the moment sending murderous glances toward Dooku. Amidala reluctantly returned to what Dooku was saying, �Aren't you fed up with the corruption, the bureaucrats, the hypocrisy of it all?.. Aren't you? Be honest, Senator.�
His words were too close to the truth, and Amidala felt the cold knot that had tightened in her stomach squeeze even tighter. But she betrayed none of her emotions. She simply countered, �The ideals are still alive, Count, even if the institution is failing.� And this was the truth. This was what Amidala knew was the core of the matter. The Republic was not perfect, but its founding principles were the best the galaxy had established. She thought of the slavery into which Anakin had been born on Tatooine. That was the fate of those outside of the Republic. Amidala bit her bottom lip, and then quickly stopped when she realized that this could give a clue to her emotions.
�You believe in the same ideals we believe in! The same ideals we are striving to make prominent,� Count Dooku replied.
Amidala�s wit was obviously sharper than Dooku realize, for she answered easily, but still with caution, �If what you say is true, you should stay in the Republic and help Chancellor Palpatine put things right.�
Amidala stole another glance at Anakin. She knew that he hated politics. She watched him shift his foot from one foot to the other. For Anakin, the only solution on his mind was aggressive negotiations. Amidala realized all of this, and then realized that she was really beginning to understand Anakin quite well. Dooku�s rambling had become a background noise, but then something that he said cut through her thoughts, ��It will not be long before the cult of greed, called the Republic, will lose even the pretext of democracy and freedom.�
These words would one day haunt Amidala. But for now, she replied, �I cannot believe that. I will not forsake all I have honored and worked for and betray the Republic. I know of your treaties with the Trade Federation, the Commerce Guilds, and the others, Count. What is happening here is not government that has been bought out by business... it's business becoming government!�
Dooku sneered at her words, and resorted not to a witty response (Amidala figured he had none), but to an obvious threat. He decided to give up the pretenses, �Are you willing to betray your Jedi friends? Without your co-operation, I can do nothing to stop their execution.� Amidala felt her heart stop. Don�t betray your emotions�remain passive� she desperately reminded herself. But even then her face was betraying her by turning to look at Ani. She quickly tried to distract herself, �What is to happen to me? Am I to be executed also?�
Not Ani. Anyone but Ani.
Amidala almost didn�t listen to Dooku�s reply. But fear was clenching her, and so she was almost forced to hang onto his words, in case there was some hope for Anakin. He was saying, �I wouldn't think of such an offence. But, there are individuals who have a strong interest in your demise, M�Lady.�
Like Nute Gunray. Amidala could see the slimy Neimodian in her mind�s eye, which caused her to scowl.
�It has nothing to do with politics, I'm afraid,� Dooku continued, �It's purely personal, and they have already paid great sums to have you assassinated. I'm sure they will push hard to have you included in the executions. I'm sorry but if you are not going to co-operate, I must turn you over to the Geonosians for justice.�
Dooku paused, as if to let his words sink in. Then he pursed his lips and regarded Amidala coldly, �I've done all I can for you.�
The bounty hunter that stood near Anakin saw Anakin�s eyes rest on the hilt of his lightsaber. Anakin�s emotions, unlike Amidala, were very easy to decipher. He was ready for a fight.
�I'll take that weapon,� the bounty hunter said with contempt.
Anakin hesitated, his gaze fixated now.
�Anakin...� Amidala pleaded, and he seemed to return to reality. She did not want any harm to come to him.
Anakin met her gaze, and she saw him reluctantly reach down to forsake his weapon.
Then the bounty hunter and the winged creatures led Anakin and Amidala to the center of what appeared to be a courtroom. Seated before them in a tall, boxed-off area was another winged creature. The Archduke of Geonosis. Other separatists sat beside him, including Nute Gunray. A deep hatred and resentment flowed through Amidala at the sight of him.
�You have been charged and found guilty of Espionage,� one of separatists pronounced.
�Do you have anything to say before your sentence is carried out?� the Archduke spoke, directing his question to Amidala.
�You are committing an act of war, Archduke. I hope you are prepared for the consequences.�
Sitting beside the archduke, Count Dooku himself simply smiled.
Nute Gunray interrupted the judging, �Get on with it. Carry out the sentence. I want to see her suffer.� The anger in Amidala welled up fresh again. His assassination attempts had caused her countless sleepless nights and fearful days.
�Your other Jedi friend is waiting for you, Senator,� the archduke scoffed, �Take them to the arena!�
Four guards appeared around Anakin and Amidala and grabbed them both roughly and escorted them out into a gloomy tunnel where an open cart was waiting for them. Behind them, sounds of chuckling only further enrage Amidala, yet she still kept her emotions under raps. Only one emotion was on the verge of breaking forth, and it was the emotion the brought color to her cheeks whenever she looked to the Jedi beside her�
The guards tied Anakin and Amidala so that they stood facing each other in the cart. The driver mounted the front end and took his time to comfortably adjust himself in his seat. Amidala felt fear grip her once again as the possibility of death dawned on her.
As if sensing her emotions, Anakin gently reassured her, �Don't be afraid.�
But looking into his eyes, Amidala�s fears dissolved into the pool of blue she saw there. And along with her fears, her reservations and emotional barriers also melted away. There was no longer any logic or reason separating Amidala from the love that had been penetrating her heat and now was ready to burst.
�I'm not afraid to die,� Amidala said, truthfully now. He was with her, and she was not afraid, �I've been dying a little bit each day since you came back into my life.� This was nothing but the truth as was. Struggling to remain in control of her emotions and dismiss the race of her heart every time they touched, Amidala had been dying. She had been dying to be with him.
�What are you talking about?� Anakin asked, as if not wanting to read more meaning into her words. He had to be careful now that Amidala had already bruised him.
And there was no beating around the bush now. Amidala felt her heart swell�rise up inside her chest�and then the love burst. It burst from her lips, leaving no doubts, no questions� �I love you.�
Three simple words, but words that were unwittingly fulfilling a destiny that would shape the entire galaxy�
�You love me?!� Anakin exclaimed, disbelief and joy flashing across his face. They were the words that he had wanted to hear for so long, Amidala realized. His expressions reminded her of the depth of his love. Anakin was suddenly at a loss for words. So he repeated the words that Amidala had once spoken to him, trying to display an air of caution. But even as he said the words, his eyes betrayed him. They were shining�burning with love, �I thought we decided not to fall in love. That we would be forced to live a lie. And that it would destroy our lives...�
Amidala let her love shine through her eyes as well. She didn�t want to lie to her heart anymore. �I think our lives are about to be destroyed anyway,� she pointed out. �My love for you is a puzzle, Ani, for which I have no answers. I can't control it... and now I don't care,� she watched disbelief cross Anakin�s face again. She could imagine what he was thinking�Padme not in control of her emotions?!. Amidala almost let a sad smile cross her face. Yes, but she had waited for a death penalty to finally tell Anakin the truth. If only she had told him before�but before had already passed. There was only now, �I truly, deeply love you, and before we die I want you to know.�
And with those words, Amidala was truly set free from her previous doubts and reservations. All she wanted was Anakin, and she no longer cared what anyone else thought. All she cared about was meeting his lips with hers for a kiss that she truly desired�
It was wonderful. Even in the face of death, Amidala�s breath was taken away by this kiss because as gentle as it had been, the passion behind it�passion which she had been able to return�signified a love unlike any other. And even the thought of death paled in comparison.
Anakin, his voice now quivering from the emotional turbulence of their kiss and her love-pledge to him, a moment he had wished for for over ten years now, locked his gaze onto Amidala�s and finally confessed his own feelings as well, �I have no desire to be cured of this love either. Long or short, I vow to spend the rest of my life with you.�
And they kissed again, this time with more of a hunger as all of the love that they had withheld for so long could finally be expressed�
The sudden lurch of the cart broke off their kiss and with a last longing look at each other, Anakin and Amidala turned to look out at the bright arena where they were to be executed.
But the whole thing seemed surreal to Amidala now. She was still floating somewhere in the Geonosian atmosphere, and nothing but the glorious feeling of love seemed real. Not the huge roar of a stadium packed with tier upon tier of anxious Geonosians, not the four upright posts in the middle of the stadium�not even the way the shackles feel against her wrists as she was attached to one of the posts...
It wasn�t until Amidala heard Anakin speaking with someone that she realized Obi-Wan was here. Then Amidala was reminded of her original reason for coming�to rescue Obi-Wan. This is a bit embarrassing� some still-coherent part of her mind observed.
It was the sight of Nute Gunray, high above her, that completely broke through Amidala�s pink haze. Then, suddenly, this whole situation became very personal. A surge of adrenaline pumped through Amidala�s veins, and she entered into survival mode. Hopefully some of her former training would come in handy in this situation. If she hadn�t gotten too rusty, that is�
Cheers erupted as the �charges� and sentences against Amidala and her two favorite Jedi were read. Then, the Archduke Poggle the Lesser rose to his feet and the crowd grew expectantly quiet.
�Let the executions begin!� He announced, and the crowd then burst with a chorus of yelling and jumping out of their seats with excitement.
Amidala was reminded of the knot in her stomach. To her left, she heard Anakin mutter, �I have a bad feeling about this.�
***
Now, trying to look back upon the struggle in the arena, I find myself drawing a bit of a blank. I think I really was acting upon my instincts to survive, driven by some need to prove something to Gunray. I didn�t want to give him the satisfaction of my death either. Somehow, I think I managed to use my chains to climb to the top of my post as I tried to escape a very hungry lion-like Nexu. But so much is just a blur in my memory because all the events in the arena happened so fast. I do remember having to remind myself to stop worrying about Anakin as he was a Jedi and simply work for my own survival. I also think that I turned my chain into a weapon against the Nexu, but even this was not holding him back to well. It was Anakin who eventually got my out of that precarious situation, yes�this I remember. He was my hero, riding in on the Reek that had originally attacked him and gesturing for me to jump on and join him. I hesitated only for a moment before complying, and then gave him a kiss on the cheek to remind him of what I still felt. After that�I only have fragmented memories. Memories of droids pouring into the arena, memories of hiding inside an overturned cart and blasting the droids as many Jedi suddenly appeared as well, memories of how gallant my Ani looked wheeling this way and that with his green lightsaber, memories of clasping Anakin�s hand as I awaited a certain death, and then memories of the clone army that came in from the sky on Gunships and evened the odds, making me wonder, for just a moment, why I had opposed the Military Creation Act�
Then I do clearly remember boarding one of these Gunships that began to pursue of Dooku�s speeder. I clearly remember feeling relieved to still be alive, relief which was interrupted by a blast that sent me tumbling to the Geonosian sand below�Yes, now my memory is clear�
***
Amidala expected her body to land with a sickening crunch, but the sand and her fully-length body position absorbed most of the shock of the fall. For a moment, Amidala drifted out of consciousness, but the sound of a clone captain�s voice caused the world to come whirling back into view.
�Senator Amidala, are you all right?�
Her body was actually feeling very stiff and sore, but nothing seemed to be broken, so Amidala ignored any pain and quickly lifted herself off of the sand.
�I�m fine. We need to find Anakin and Obi-Wan,� she said, for the Jedi were the only thing on her mind now. A sense of urgency seemed to overwhelm all of her pain from the fall.
Please let him be all right� Amidala whispered in her mind as she quickly followed the troopers to another Gunship.
The clone troopers seemed to know exactly where they were going, and soon Amidala was running toward her love. Fresh grief washed over her when she saw that Dooku had battered him so that he could hardly stand. The grief only gripped her tighter once she noticed that his hand had been cleanly severed from his arm. Neither Yoda nor Obi-Wan looked much better.
How powerful is this Dooku? Amidala felt herself wonder. A cold chill spread through her body, and her gaze fell yet again on the stump that had once given way to Ani�s hand. She tried not to let her mind wander to darker thoughts, but for a moment, the haunting image of his burnt body from her nightmare flashed through her mind.
What does all of this mean? her mind cried out.
As if in a kind of response to her thoughts, Yoda turned and regarded the Jedi and the troopers gravely. �Escaped, Dooku has. More to this than what meets the eye, there is. Unclear is the future, but stronger the dark side grows. Certain of this, I am.�
Amidala was chilled further by Yoda�s words, but her thoughts quickly returned to Anakin. She sent him a look of reassurance and squeezed his still-present hand, since she couldn�t do much more than this with Obi-Wan and Yoda standing close-by. She suddenly felt like a little girl under the watchful eye of her parents.
But Yoda and Obi-Wan were clearly preoccupied with the events that had just unfolded.
�Ani?� Amidala questioned Anakin in a hushed, yet clearly worried, voice. He gritted his teeth and grunted in reply. �Oh, Ani, we�ve got to get you to an infirmary. They will construct you a mechanical hand and the pain will go away.�
He didn�t have much of a response, but at that moment Obi-Wan and Yoda interrupted them anyway.
�Senator Amidala, there is a medical ship in orbit. We need to take Anakin there before he can escort you back to Naboo.�
Back to Naboo? Amidala�s mind reeled. She needed to be on Coruscant, where the Senate would probably soon be in full roar.
�Nute Gunray has escaped as well,� Obi-Wan added, as if sensing Amidala�s hesitation. �For the moment, at least, Naboo will be safer for you.�
Amidala nodded. She did not want to put up a fight while Anakin needed medical attention. And she had a feeling that Obi-Wan was right anyway.
Obi-Wan looked upon his padawan with sympathy, and moved over to Anakin�s left side to help support him. �Let�s go,� he said, apparently addressing everyone. Yoda apparently agreed, for he motioned to the clone troopers to ready the Gunship.
***
Amidala waited for nearly two hours outside of the infirmary on the medical ship until they allowed her to enter and see Anakin. By that time, a mechanical hand had been installed. Anakin was observing it silently and flexing the metal fingers as Amidala entered the room.
�Padme,� he looked up and gave her a pained smile and then returned his gaze back to his mechanical hand. �I was irrational and attacked too soon.� Anakin paused, as if re-living the fight in his mind, and then added almost indistinctly, as if only to himself, � I will not be such an easy opponent for him next time.�
�Ani,� Amidala bent over and kissed him lightly on the cheek, hoping to bring him out of his frustration.
Her kiss apparently worked, for the steel look in his eyes evaporated and was replaced by the cerulean pools that she so loved.
�Ani, all that matters to me is that you�re okay,� she began, but he silenced her with a soft kiss on the lips. Amidala closed her eyes and let herself enjoy this moment, for once. She let herself enjoy how his touch created excited rush of butterflies in her stomach that made new color rise to her face. She let herself enjoy the freedom of no longer lying to her heart. The truth was such a wonderful thing.
Finally Anakin broke away and addressed the woman before him, �Come, Padme. Obi-Wan came in as my operation was underway and he told me that a trooper located your ship and would be here within the hour to deliver it to us. He�s probably waiting for us now.�
Amidala wanted to say more, and Anakin apparently sensed this, but he assured her, �I have a lot to say to you too, but let�s wait until it is just the two of us on your ship.�
This suggestion seemed very reasonable, so Amidala simply nodded and held her tongue.
Anakin and Amidala exited the infirmary and found Obi-Wan and Yoda walking to meet them. �Waiting for you, you ship is,� Yoda informed the pair.
�Thank you, Master Yoda,� Anakin and Amidala said in unison and then they, along with Obi-Wan, shared a slight smile.
Yoda let a little good humor pass over his face, but he remained troubled by the escape of Count Dooku. �Unclear, the future is. Careful you must be on Naboo.�
�Yes, Master,� Anakin said and gave a slight bow.
�Take care of her,� Obi-Wan said, and a silent exchanged passed between master and padawan.
�I will, Master,� Anakin said finally, and with nods toward the two Jedi Masters, Anakin began to walk down the hall toward the hatch that would connect them to Amidala�s ship.
�Master Yoda. Master Obi-Wan,� Padme addressed the two and nodded as well.
�Have a safe trip, Senator,� Obi-Wan replied and smiled genuinely towards her.
�And you,� Padme returned and wondered how on earth Anakin could ever complain about such a wonderful mentor. But in the end, she was well aware of the bond between them, complaints or not.
***
Once Anakin and Amidala were situated in the sleek Nubian vessel with their destination keyed into the navigation console, Anakin wasted no time to put the ship on autopilot. Amidala knew that Anakin hated to relinquish control to a machine, but for once he seemed grateful for the autopilot feature. Amidala knew that she was. Now, they could finally talk.
Anakin turned towards Amidala and took both of her hands in his. Then he looked up at her, eyes wide and inviting and nodded for her to speak.
�Anakin,� she began, squeezing his hands as she said his name, �I meant every word that I said in the arena. I love you. I�ve told you once, and now I never want to stop telling you.� Anakin fixated his gaze onto hers, and for a long time they simply looked at each other, letting the wonder of finally expressing their love for each other sink in. Although their love would still have to remain hidden from others, at least they no longer had to lie to each other. Amidala couldn�t remember how long she had waited for a moment like this. So she basked in his eyes, never wanting to look away.
�Padme, I meant what I said too,� Anakin finally spoke, although the two still remained mesmerized in each other�s presence. He brought his real hand up to her face and lightly traced its contours, and then he chuckled lightly and bit his bottom lip. �I�m sorry Padme, I just�I had almost given up hope that this could really happen. I still feel like I�m dreaming. But you�re here, in front of me, as real and as beautiful as ever. I don�t ever want to be apart from you. And now I know that you feel the same.�
And with that, Anakin unstrapped his safety belt and moved over his pilot seat to where Amidala was seated. Then he kneeled in front of her, as though still a slave boy before his queen.
�Padme Amidala Naberrie, my angel, will you marry me?�
Visions of bliss passed before Amidala�s eyes. She would be Padme Naberrie Skywalker, a wife�one day a mother. They might live in a small country home tucked away in the Nubian landscape where their children could grow up under the shelter of loving parents and of the Republic�
�Anakin Skywalker, my love,� Amidala began, mimicking Anakin�s style even as tears clouded her eyes and emotion overwhelmed her speech so that she almost choked on the wonderful word �love,� �yes. Yes!� Amidala threw herself out of her chair and into his arms, so that they were now both kneeling. �Yes,� Amidala said again, loving the sound of it. The sound that in her mind translated into Padme Naberrie Skywalker.
Anakin�s expression displayed another mixture of disbelief, joy, and�was that relief? Amidala choked between a laugh and a sob, and she placed her hands on the sides of Anakin�s face and repeated, �Ani, I love you, and I want to be your wife.�
Anakin�s jaw was still hanging open, and now Amidala was freely laughing and crying at the same time, and she gave herself the liberty of planting kisses all over his face. His jaw was still hanging open, so she looked at him and said louder and more slowly, �I want to marry you.�
And then he was kissing her, and she was kissing back, and there was no longer any reason to hold back, so their kisses were sweet and passionate, and their hands were everywhere, no longer restricted but instead discovering the person that they had longed to have in their arms. And it was beautiful.
After their fit of kissing, they fell into each other�s embrace, not wanting to move other than to lightly trace their fingers through each others� hair. And Anakin was whispering sweet nothing�s into Amidala�s ears and everything else melted away. This was bliss.
***
Amidala had always wanted to get married on Naboo; as a child she had dreamed of a small romantic wedding in a lovely, serene spot. After all that Anakin and Amidala had experienced at the Lake Retreat, a mutual agreement on the location of the wedding was not difficult to reach. In fact, the �when� of the marriage was not difficult to reach either because both Anakin and Amidala knew that this would be their only opportunity to have a perfect secret wedding�no better time to have a secret wedding than when already in hiding.
Amidala knew a woman, Kyelle, at the retreat who had been a mother figure to Sabe and had designed a wedding gown for Sabe�s marriage. Amidala spoke with Kyelle and was able to purchase a pre-designed gown that was detailed and elegant and fit her perfectly, and before long, Amidala found herself clasped hand-in-hand with the love of her life�getting married. The thrill of the spontaneity yet simultaneous fulfillment of the long-term love made Amidala�s head spin in even more delight. And the ceremony was small, romantic, serene�everything Amidala had always wanted.
When the minister finally pronounced them husband and wife and invited them to seal their union with a kiss, Amidala found herself lost in the frenzy of butterflies that always emerged when her lips met Ani�s, but this time the kiss was different. With this kiss that sealed their future, the kiss that locked them forever into this secret union, Amidala felt the last traces of her doubts and reservations melt away as she became more than just Anakin�s �angel��she became his wife.
And so the melting away of reservations continued on her wedding night, when for another blissful moment, nothing felt like it had to be hidden under drapes. The love that had steadily accrued in her heart ever since Anakin had re-entered her life could finally be freely and fully expressed. For a brilliant moment, nothing in the entire universe could interfere with their pure, unending joy.
***
But even then the web of deception was wrapping around us, preparing to enfold us into a terrible tragedy�