I've gone in darkness. I've gone in light. never knowing for sure if I was wrong or right. it's a little hard to answer if you didn't hear the question. Although i'd bless the knowledge, I can't help but curse the lesson. I'm swimming upstream, it's a battle I can't win. Lost inside a dream, sleeping alone again. So utterly alone and confused, it's difficult to stand on my own two feet. I feel that I'm only being used. A shoulder to cry on or another piece of meat. A lonely-ache deep inside. Will it ever go away? I'm hanging on to the see-saw ride and wishing you would stay.

The fates have rolled their pair of dice and now there's trouble in paradise. But, we live and we learn or we don't live long. Is this just a game for you? What admission fee must I pay? And are the odds worth playing? If one night stands are your game, it's best to play with yourself.

The walls come tumbling down. The night comes falling from the sky. It hits me on the head, I sleep and dream. Dreams of sex with women I don't know. Dreams of love with a woman that I probably never will. Homesick and lonely. Sweet dreams or nightmares? I don't know the score, but it seems as though time is running out. Tick-tock Tick-tock

Can't say what I want, can't see how you feel, can't hear what you don't say, can't think what you know, can't believe what has happened to me.

My thoughts they come back again. Over and over again. To all the same things again. The same ideas, hopes and fears. The same words - the same pictures. I feel so cold inside, Celtic frost on the breeze. I wish I knew how to clear my mind, to relax and unwind. There is nothing left to say, yet I feel like I could scream. All mixed up, I know....I don't know what. I think I'm old and feeling pain.....my patience....my sanity and maybe the life in me.....down the drain and out to the sea.....up in smoke and never quite happily.

I've been looking at photographs. Photographs of old friends that I wish had been lovers and lovers that I wish had stayed friends. And wishing that I could believe either still cared. If they ever did.

I get so lost sometimes. So much wasted time. My life has fallen to pieces. I don't think that I have the strength to put it all back together again. I can't find my way back to the place I was before. I'm afraid to continue on the path I'm on.

I'm at a crossroads and had thought that I knew which way to go. But I blinked. My eyes closed for but a second. When I opened them again someone had stolen some of the road signs. And someone else had erected a few new ones. And someone else still had repainted one that I had not ben able to read the first time. So, which way do I go now?

Once again I look at the photographs and I wish for a map of the human heart. If I still had faith, perhaps a prayer would be in order. But I've somehow become too "sophisticated" for that.