New Year's Worst Nightmare

You hated my last year's version of this Pay Per View? Well it was actually my first attempt at a Pay Per View. This is a whole lot better. Trust me.

Date- January 21, 2002
Mushroom Kingdom

(The Pay Per View begins as the theme song, Creed- My Sacrifice begins! The intro shows many highlights from 2001. The crowd is cheering!)
(My Sacrifice was used as the theme song, to end the N64 SSB Pay Per Views.)
Ryan: FIREWORKS ARE FLYING AS A NEW YEAR HAS BEGUN HERE IN SSB!!! WELCOME EVERYONE TO NEW YEAR'S WORST NIGHTMARE!
Jeff: And for those of you who have just joined us, we're Ryan & Jeff, the SSB Commentary! I'm not Jeff from Earthbound nor Jeff Hardy from the WWF, I'm Jeff Manning, the narrator for the N64 game, Super Smash Bros!
Ryan: And it is now 2002!
Jeff: Exactly a year ago, last year's New Years Worst Nightmare was the first Pay Per View ever! I wasn't even here yet when that happened!
Ryan: Actually you've been a commentator here since September 1999, Jeff. You ditched that day.
Jeff: Uh, oh yeah I did. Well we've come a very long way!
Ryan: We're live at the Mushroom Kingdom for a very special Pay Per View! This will be a little different from all the other Pay Per Views. We'll show you the greatest moments of 2001 here today!
Jeff: There is a whole lot ahead for SSB. It's possible that it could pass by the WWF! But I doubt it.
(The Mushroom Kingdom Music plays as the crowd goes wild! Mario & all the other SSB Superstars make their way to the ring!)
Ryan: And here comes the whole roster in SSB!
Jeff: Where's DK and Link? They're missing!
Ryan: Mario is standing in the ring while all the others are outside, surrounding the ring in one big square. I bet Mario has something important to announce.
Mario: Ladies and Gentlemen.....We're in Mushroom Kingdom, so I'm going to announce this here! This is the very last Super Smash Bros Pay Per View! (crowd is cheering!) After going through THIRTEEN Pay Per Views in 2001, SSB has been a major craze. (crowd is cheering) Starting next month....at Valentine's Day Heartbreak...IS THE VERY FIRST SUPER SMASH BROS MELEE PAY PER VIEW!!! (crowd goes wild!)
Jeff: YEAH!!! SSB MELEE!!!
Mario: And now I'm going to introduce to you each individual SSB Superstar that is standing outside of the ring right now. But first, I can see that there's only 9 of you out here. As you can see, DK nor Link is here today. (crowd boos) ....I'm pretty sure you've heard alreay. At Holiday Havoc, Donkey Kong had suffered a broken neck after being struck in the neck by Link's sword. (crowd boos)
Jeff: Link's sword really packs a wallop. That's why he's the current SSB Champion.
Mario: However, Donkey Kong will return on February 18th, the day Super Smash Bros Melee begins! (crowd cheers!)
Jeff; Just in time for SSB Melee!
Mario: And Link is currently on vacation right now in Miami. So he is not defending the SSB title today. He's not in the building.....So now, I am going to talk about each SSB Superstar, about how well they've performed this whole year long. Kirby, come up here! (Kirby enters the ring. Crowd boos at Kirby.)
Ryan: Nobody likes Kirby.
Mario: I remember you beginning your career here in April 1999, challenging Yoshi, who was delayed to come to SSB.
Ryan: I can tell Yoshi still wants a piece of Kirby. Look at his face outside of the ring.
Mario: Yoshi came here in June and SSB had almost gone out of business! But it came back in August! When SSB was back, you & Yoshi were at battle on August 8th, 1999! It was a 10-mintue Ironman Match! It was one of the gretest matches in the history of Super Smash Bros! Now you may not have been the winner of the match, but you put up a good fight! The Pay Per View, "Beach Battle" was named after that match and is set on the same date, which is August 8th! And I really enjoy the Tag Team action with you & Ness throughout the year! And right now, you are a Rattlesnake! Your finisher is the Stone Cold Stunner! And with those abilities, you have a great future ahead! Thank you, Kirby. (crowd applauses as Kirby goes back out of the ring)
Jeff: Kirby did more than I thought. Wow.
Mario: And now allow me to introduce to you, Kirby's long-time Tag Team Partener, Ness! (Ness enters the ring as the crowd boos)
Jeff: I don't think Ness did much.
Mario: Ness, you were not popular when you began your career here. But you have been a great wrestler! You joined up with Kirby and you two have been a very good team! And one of the greatest you have ever done was last March! You were the very first man EVER to be the Super Smash Bros Champion! Now you may not have held that SSB Championship for very long. But that's okay with me. And here you are today! You're new quote is "I love me!" And you should love what you have done this whole year long! Thank you, Ness. (crowd applauses as Ness leaves the ring)
Jeff: See? Nothing much.
Mario: Now uh...Jigglypuff! Come on up here! (Jigglypuff enters as the crowd cheers)
Jeff: There is actually lots to say about her.
Mario: You are a very young superstar here in SSB. I remember you said that you wanted to prove to all the Pokemon that you were not a weak Pokemon. And you did. And you've really changed throughout the years. I remember you were nothing but a crybaby here when you started! You used to cry everytime you lost a match!
Ryan: Jigglypuff is so not like that now.
Mario: Ever since Yoshi's been here, you & Yoshi have been the cutest couple SSB's ever had! (crowd cheers!)
Jeff: Look at Yoshi outside of the ring! Ha-ha! He's blushing!
Mario: You like that, Yoshi? Ha! Well as I as saying, I have no idea why you did this, but you turned from cuteness, siging and all that stuff into fire, blood and gore, and evilness! You became known as the "Red-Eyed Demon"! You were still cute, you're still cute today. All that's different is your eyes. They were blue, now they're red. You were really a whole lot better in 2001 than you were in 2000. Man what a year it was for you! The Royal Rumble winner, the winner of the Memorial Civil War Tournament, you came so close to becoming the first ever SSB Tag Team Champions at Summer Slamfest with Pikachu, and WHOO! A formal 1-time SSB Champion in October! And at Holiday Havoc you said to me you were afraid you'd lose your job here in SSB. And I said you'd be fine if you won your match that day. Now you may not have won that match that day, but you'll be fine. Be proud that you are going to be here in SSB Melee. Thank you, Jigglypuff. (crowd applauses as Jigglypuff leaves the ring)
Jeff: If Jigglypuff had no boyfriend, I'd go out with her just like that!
Ryan: I don't think she'd like someone like you Jeff.
Mario: Now...a very successful superstar is the next I will talk about! Pikachu, come on up here! (crowd cheers as Pikachu enters the ring)
Ryan: Pikachu was very good this year. Huge difference for him.
Mario: Piakchu came here just when Pokemon was a big craze! And you got the crowd wild on your first appearence! And you sure got the crowd wild on your first appearence! And then after a few months later, you joined Yoshi's alliance the "4 Smashers" and you got really strong after joining with them! You stuck together with them throughout the years until it was all gone all of a sudden! And the year 2001 was great for you! I mean, what have you done? Formal SSB Champion; I mean, you beat Donkey Kong!
Jeff: The NWO helped Pikachu win! DK was about to remain champion during that match!
Mario: And you were one of the 5 superstars I chose to take the care of The Mob! And you did great in that match! And you've been on a hot winning streak all the way to today! Keep up the good work, Pikachu. (crowd applauses as Pikachu leaves the ring)
Jeff: Pikachu's got everything: Speed, Flying Attacks, and so on!
Mario: Now to the more bigger men I will talk about! But first, Samus come on up here! (crowd cheers as Samus enters)
Ryan: Samus is currently 1/2 of the Tag Team Champions.
Mario: Ever since you came out with Super Metroid for the Super Nintendo, you were forgotten. But everyone now knows you. You were partially a member of the NWO for a quite a long time, ever since you and Captain Falcon have liked each other. I remember that the biggest match of your career was against Luigi at Memorial Civil War! I remember Luigi insulting you, "Here's your mail, Samus!" And he'd hit you with a paper fan! And you were not the winner of the match. But that didn't hurt your career at all. In June of last year, you and Captain Falcon were the first-ever SSB Tag Team Champions! And you guys have held those titles for such a long time! Then in September, you finally joined forces to the NWO! And uh...one of the greatest Tag Team Matches in SSB History involved you in that match! You & Fox got a title shot for the SSB Tag Team titles against ME and Yoshi! I'll show a preview of that match later today. You and Captain Falcon got your Tag Team titles back in a couple months ago, like in November, no December! And you and Captain Falcon today have been on a winning streak, thank you Samus. (crowd applauses as Samus leaves the ring)
Jeff: Samus never takes that helmet off!
Mario: Okay. Now lets go to the larger men in the business! Captain Falcon come up here! (crowd boos at Captain Falcon as he enters the ring)
Jeff: Show me your moves!
Mario: Ah, the undefeated superhero of SSB! You are 5-0 ever since you became a superhero, right? Well I remember you starting here as the fastest man of all of us. And you are still the fastest of all of us right now! You were a favorite of the fans until you defected to the NWO a few months later...(crowd boos)
Ryan: Captain Falcon is proud of what he's done.
Mario: You were friends with the other members Link, Fox, and your girlfriend Samus!
Jeff: Captain Falcon and Samus are more like a superhero team now.
Mario: Every bad thing Link would do, you would do also! You hated everyone here and would challenge anyone! For 2 years, we never saw a change in you. Until this year...
Jeff: 2002?
Ryan: Mario means 2001, Jeff.
Mario: You and Samus were the first-ever SSB Tag Team Champions at Summer Slamfest in June! Whoo! That was great! And the big change in you was getting rid of being a dirty villian into a superhero!
Jeff: Yeah.
Mario: You are still a member of the NWO and the crowd may not like you still, but ever since you became a superhero in November, you've been undefeated! You're now 5-0! You've saved the world 5 times! You've saved the world more than that Birdman or Aquaman or...Space Ghost. Anyway, you and Samus are the current Tag Team Champions. You're both 2-time Tag Team Champions! And I know you will be saving the world more and more and you'll be at the top! You'll be better than Superman, Batman, and beyond them! Thanks you alot, Captain Falcon! (crowd applauses as Captain Falcon leaves the ring)
Jeff: Captain Falcon is an imposter! Ever see Hurricane Helms in the WWF? He would kill Captain Falcon!
Ryan: Mario was probably making all that superhero talk up.
Mario: I'm serious, Falcon. You really are that good. Now ....to my very own brother! Luigi! Come on up! (crowd cheers as Luigi enters the ring)
Jeff: Mario must be saving the strongest men for last!
Mario: Luigi is my brother. Duh. But anyway he has done lots here. He's da man who won Luigi's Mansion in a contest and he then built it himself! We began as a tag team and we were one of the best! Then we went off on our own to build up our singles action skills. Luigi was eventually rivals with Samus which I said earlier. And Luigi this year has won several tournaments! Luigi has never won any championship belt yet. But some of his highlights this year was defeating his long rival Samus at Memorial Civil War, and releasing the game of Luigi's Mansion! Now Luigi, you were absent for 2 months straight from October to December, because of Luigi's Mansion. But it sure was a grand opening for the Gamecube and Luigi's Mansion! Now since you're back, you are coming very close to winning a championship belt! Maybe you & me can snag those Tag Team titles sometime. Thanks, Luigi. (crowd applauses as Luigi leaves the ring)
Ryan: Luigi has had no problem with his mansion yet.
Mario: Let's get to the ELITE Superstars here! Anyone know what I mean? (crowd is silent)
Jeff: I think Mario means that he'll talk about the Superstars that are powerful. Like talking about powerful WWF Superstars like Undertaker, Austin, Rock, etc. People that are at the top of the business.
Mario: I just heard an answer. Jeff Manning you were right.
Jeff: How'd he hear us from up here? He's in the ring while were up here in the skybox!
Mario: Yeah, the really powerful men in SSB! Yoshi, come up here! (crowd goes wild as Yoshi enters the ring!)
Jeff: Yoshi's only a 1-time Tag Team Champion. I don't see how he made it to the top of all the Superstars.
Mario: My old buddy, what's up? (High 5's with Yoshi) Out of all the SSB Superstars, you were ranked #4 out of 12! That's very good! The main reason how you were up here is because you were ranked #1 in 1999 and 2000! But you seemed to have fallen 3 ranks but that's okay. SSB had began in April 1999 but you were delayed for 2 months. You came in June and you were surprisingly awesome to all of us! Kirby had challenged you back in April when you were going to come. You & Kirby were rivals!
Jeff: Thsi doesn't sound like anything Mario would say.
Mario: I also remember that Jigglypuff had fallen in love with you and I mentioned that you & Jigglypuff were the cutest couple in SSB! I heard from you while SSB had been off the air in July when you & Jigglypuff were separated. I heard that you and Donkey Kong were hanging out so you two planned to be a future Tag Team. So when SSB came back on in August, you rescued Jigglypuff, who was one of the 4 kidnapped Superstars from the Master Hand. After that Kirby challenged you on August 8th, which is the date for Beach Battle in a 10-minute Ironman Hardcore Match! And whoo! I loved that match! It was probably the greatest Hardcore Match in SSB History! You dominated that match! You destroyed Kirby!
Jeff: Yeah! Kirby sucks!
Ryan: Kirby looks angry right now.
Mario: And after that, you formed an alliance which was known as the "4 Smashers". It was a group of you, Donkey Kong, Jigglypuff, and Pikachu. And it was the most powerful team that has ever existed in SSB! Well not exactly...but it was a strong team. Tournaments after Tournaments, none of your team culd win any of them! It was always the NWO that always won! So near Christmas, it was the 4 Smashers vs the NWO! And it seemed like the NWO won. (crowd boos)
Ryan: The NWO still exists today.
Mario: But the 4 Smashers existed for 1 more year: 2000. You lost at 1999 Christmas to the NWO. You guys sometimes had fights with each other, like the one time you faced Donkey Kong in April 2000. And you did win that match. And uh...usually everyone becomes a heel at 1 time in their careers. You were a heel around December of 2000. To us, you were a punk! But you've changed that. You became a fan favorite again around March of 2001, when you were a motorcycle maniac. And around June 2001, the old you came back when you did so many funny pranks on Kirby and Ness! I can still see it now. You were a pizza man for them and attacked them in June, you lit fireworks in their locker room on July 4th, and man! It's all I remember now. At Clash Court, you were one of the 5 men I chose to defeat The Mob. The Leader of the Mob? You took his trophey and threw it in a river! Whoo! I liked that! We thanked you in November and you went off on a journey to winning the big one: The SSB Championship. You constantly challenged Link for the title, but he wouldn't let you have a match, since you were 1/2 of the Tag Team Champions at that time. You were champions with ME! But we lost it to Captain Falcon and Samus after Thanksgiving. So Link let you have a match at Holiday Havoc, along with Donkey Kong in the match as well. You became known as "Da Christmas Man" in December. The problem with that Triple Threat match you were in was that you were quickly eliminated first. That was last time we saw you. Now you're the "Christmas Dragon"! You'll eventually win the SSB title, Yoshi. Thank you. (crowd applauses as Yoshi leaves the ring)
Jeff: That took forever.
Mario: Now let's get to the Top 3! Number 3! Fox McCloud, come up here! (crowd boos at Fox as he enters the ring)
Jeff: Fox is the Weapon Boy! And Mario will talk about that.
Ryan: We are missing the last 2. They are not here.
Mario: "The Weapon Boy"! Lots to say about you. You are ranked #3 in SSB right now! You came out with Star Fox 64. Then 1 1/2 years later, you came here, being very successful. Your nickname was "The Weaopn Boy" because you enjoyed Hardcore Mathces. And you've been funny with toilet humor sometimes! You used to bite your crotch (laughs) everytime you used your Fire Fox move! And you used to call Ness "Pee-Ness!" Ha-ha!
Jeff: Fox would go HIYA and then bite his crotch! Fox is so funny!
Mario: People did not like you. But a week later around May, you and Donkey Kong were a Tag Team. And you & DK were probably the most average Tag Team in SSB History. Now you two have stuck together until SSB was off the air for a month which was all the way to the end of June. When we were back on in August, DK had joined forces with Yoshi so you joined forces with Link & Captain Falcon and you 3 have formed the NWO! It was a team of heels and the NWO ALWAYS won! Your first rival was....well.....it was me...and we had a big fight against each other and you won against me. And I felt bad after that. That was around October of 1999. And uh...you won many tournaments throughout 2000. You haven't changed at all in 2000. But in 2001 you have changed big time! Your rank in SSB ROCKETED up to the top! You were in the top 3! Winning so many matches in the first couple months! But in March, you liked the song by Devo "Whip It". And it was your new enterence theme. Donkey Kong started insulting you because you liked that song! And you guys got in a serious fight, making DK your main rival! And throughout Spring of 2001 you & DK just waited for a match! So in April, it made me sick just watching you 2 waiting so I scheduled you to face DK at Memorial Civil War! And it was the greatest match EVER in SSB! It was almost an hour long too! But after a long 3-stock match, you lost. But it was an extremely close match!
Ryan: DK vs Fox at Memorial Civil War was the main event of that Pay Per View.
Mario: After that match, you suffered an eye injury after being in DK's Wind-Up Punch, taking you out of SSB action for several months! Memorial Civil War was in May and you returned in early Septmeber at Autumn Armaggeddon! You interfered in the match between DK and Pikachu! DK was defending the SSB Championship also! You came with the NWO, and bashed DK with a metal chair! You cost DK the SSB title! A shocking return debut for you! And at Clash Court, you were the 3rd man I chose to take the Mob down! Nice performance for you! And at Halloween Horror, you challenged DK in a rematch. But lost again when you got hit with another Wind-Up Punch! After that, you & DK left each other alone. In November you were involved in the greatest Tag Team match ever! You and Samus against the Tag Team Champions, ME and Yoshi! And you took one huge slam! Yoshi punched you, then I Headbutted you & you went flying! You flew up to the skybox, shattered through glass and went through a table! (crowd cheers!)
Jeff: Fox is mad!
Mario: You were outcold for the rest of the match. And Samus was double teamed and lost the match. After that you were not hospitalized but you were helped being taken to the backstage. And you were going to charge yourself up. You faced Jigglypuff at Holiday Havoc and beat her. That was last time we saw you in the ring. Now you are ready for Super Smash Bros Melee! Your new theme is Jimmi Hendrix's "Foxy Lady"! And it doesn't really match you very much, but...it does include the word Fox in there....well whatever. Thanks anyway, Fox. (crowd applauses as Fox leaves the ring)
Ryan: Fox is going to be a legend in SSB, I know it.
Mario: And now the 2 men that are not out here right now, I will talk about. Ranked #2 is...Link! (crowd boos)
Ryan: Link is the current SSB Champion.
Mario: Link is on vacation right now. I gave him that vacation because he deserves one! Well Link is the SSB Champion and has been the champion since Halloween! Now Link began here after taking care of Ganon at Hyrule Castle. And SSB built a replica Hyrule Castle arena here in SSB! Link was one powerful foe. And it was just the beginning. Months later, Link took all of the Bounty Hunters which were Captain Falcon, Fox McCloud, and Samus Aran into one alliance: The NWO! Link is the leader of the NWO! He still leads it today! And he is one powerful leader also! The NWO had problems with Yoshi's alliance, the "4 Smashers" at 1999 Christmas, but the NWO defeated them at Christmas! And that was one big victory for them! The NWO is a legendary team!
Jeff: What is Mario talking about? The NWO is a poison for everyone!
Mario: And throughout the year 2000, Link took the NWO through victories, tournament wins and all that successful stuff! (crowd is booing)
Jeff: The NWO is still that damn good!
Mario: And this year, Link was the third man to become SSB Champion! I remember when Samus beat Ness to become SSB Champ and later that day, Link beat Samus! That was last April. And he was the champ for several months without losing but in July he lost it to Donkey Kong. It was a 1-sided match anyway. But Link was taking uot people one by one to the top of the food chain! Then in October, he got the SSB Championship back by defeating Jigglypuff and here he is today! He is still the champion and has defeated people one by one! He is one of the greatest men in the business! So I gave him a free vacation. Link I know you can hear me; I just want to say thanks. (crowd applauses)
Jeff: So where's Link? What kind of vacation is it?
Mario: And now to the last man in the business! Ranked Numer #1 is...
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