Beach Battle

Ryan: Welcome back. We are now going to look behind the scenes of your favorite SSB Superstars. Today, we are going to look behind the scenes of Marth and Luigi.
(an interview is going on at some studio)
Luigi: You don't usually see stuff some superstars do that is not on TV. One of my best friends is surprisingly Marth, even though we don't hang out on TV.
Marth: Some of us SSB Superstars just do crazy stuff off the show, like me & Luigi for example.
Luigi: Off the show, we've been working on funny scenes for this new comedy Marth and I are going to have! "The Luigi and Marth" show! It's kind of a Super Smash Bros Melee parody show. It's when me & Marth hang out and find weird stuff in the stages.
Marth: It's very funny. So funny, sometimes I laugh during the act. Here's a preview of the show, where me& Luigi find a McDonalds at Peach's Castle!
(preview starts)
Worker: Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?
Luigi: Yes, me & Marth would like 2 orders of hamburgers, 2 orders of fries, and--
Marth: Huh? What's that? (A Bullet Bill crashes into the McDonalds)
Worker: AHHH! Not my McDonalds!
(McDonalds blows up!) (preview ends)
Marth: The comedy comes out around the time Kirby's anime comes out.

SSB MELEE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP- & vs &
Pikachu & Mewtwo def. Captain Falcon & Samus Aran to become the new Tag Team Champions
Ryan: That seems very good.
Jeff: I'll watch that instead of Kirby's Anime!
(NWO interrupts the broadcast with the logo on the screen! The NWO theme plays as the lights flash black & white! Captain Falcon and Samus Aran enter!)
Dean: The following contest is scheduled for 1 stock and is for the SSB Melee Tag Team Championships! Introducing first, representing the NWO, at a combined weight of about 360 pounds, the SSB Melee Tag Team Champions, Captain Falcon and Samus Aran!
Ryan: The NWO's had the Tag Team titles for 9 straight months!
Jeff: They've held it before! Like about 3 months before those 9 months, and still going!
Ryan: 2-time Tag Team Champions. Held the titles at a total of 1 year.
Jeff: I hope they lose the titles.
(Breaking Point's "One Of A Kind" is playing! Mewtwo and Pikachu enter!)
Dean: And their opponents, at a combined weight of 282 pounds, Pikachu and Mewtwo!
Jeff: The match is all set. Hope we get new Tag Team Champions. Falcon & Samus have held them too long.
(The Bell Rings!)
Ryan: Pikachu with an electric shock to Samus!
Jeff: Mewtwo's going after Captain Falcon. He's using electric attacks as well.
Ryan: Wow! Mewtwo's lifting Falcon real easy! That's psychic power from Mewtwo.
Jeff: Mewtwo can lift anybody with that power. I've seen him lift Bowser!
Ryan: Mewtwo nearly defeated Yoshi about half a month go. If he beat him, he would have been facing Ganondorf today!
Jeff: Pikachu and Mewtwo are a great team. The may be both heels, but they're good. They are both doubleteaming Captain Falcon! Captain Falcon is down! Now Samus is being doubleteamed!
Ryan: Man, Mewtwo is hardly taking any hits! A Dark Attack to Samus!
Jeff: But wait! Pikachu is getting doubleteamed by Falcon and Samus! Falcon with a Raptor Boost!
Ryan: Mewtwo is trying to fight 2 people at once. He's got guts. Seems like he can fight as many people as he wants at once. And he won't back down!
Jeff: Uh oh.
Ryan: Captain Falcon and Samus are now in control!
Jeff: Oh, but Pikachu and Mewtwo are coming back with electric attacks together!
Ryan: Everyone is building up on their attacks.
Jeff: Mewtwo is full of energy! He's shocking both of the Tag Team Champions! He's on fire! He's dunkin, slammin, and attackin everybody in the ring!
Ryan: Now it looks like everyone in the ring is getting tired.
Jeff: Except Mewtwo.
Ryan: Wait a minute, Captain Falcon and Samus are back in action again after taking major damage! WHOA, Samus sent Mewtwo flying all of a sudden, right onto the cloud platform!
Jeff: Pikachu from behind! Both Captain Falcon and Samus go flying! Shouldn't have concentrated on Mewtwo there.
Ryan: Looks like the Pokemon are trying to fight back.
Jeff: Both Tag Teams are about equal right now. Captain Falcon and Samus have held those titles too long. Looks like we're going to have new Tag Team Champions! The Pokemon are now kicking ass!
Ryan: Pikachu is taking Samus in the air. Captain Falcon can't take much more either.
Jeff: WHOA! Samus and Captain Falcon both go flying from Mewtwo!
Ryan: I've never seen Mewtwo this aggressive before! This crowd is on their feet! They want Falcon and Samus to lose this match and their Tag Team titles!
Jeff: OH YEAH!!! Team work! Mewtwo had just shocked Captain Falcon and then Pikachu sent him flying! Now they're gonna get Samus! YES! Pikachu sends Samus flying! God, this match is awesome!
Ryan: How much more can the Tag Team Champions take?
Jeff: This crowd is supporting Mewtwo and Pikachu! If you mix their names, you get MEWKACHU! Ha ha!
Ryan: We're gonna have new Tag Team Champions! I know it!
Pikachu: Take this, Falcon! (sends him flying!)
Captain Falcon: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (CAPTAIN FALCON IS ELIMINATED!)
Ryan: EVERYONE'S STANDING UP! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS IN ANY SECOND! All Pikachu and Mewtwo have to do is finish Samus off!
Jeff: Here we go! Pikachu and Mewtwo with a Double Vertical Suplex onto Samus! YES!!! Pikachu now with a Thunder! 2 Thunders! 3 Thunders!
Ryan: MEWTWO IS THROWING SAMUS OUT! (crowd goes nuts!)
Jeff: IT'S OVER!!! WE HAVE NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!! (Mewtwo's music plays)
Dean: Here are your winners, and the NEW SSB Melee Tag Team Champions, PIKACHU and MEWTWO!!!
Ryan: After NINE Long Months, Captain Falcon and Samus Aran have finally lost! I can't believe it!
Jeff: Pikachu and Mewtwo are both heels, and the crowd has supported them on the biggest Pay Per View of the summer!
Ryan: How long will Pikachu and Mewtwo be the Tag Team Champions? And have they become fan favorites? We'll see when this PPV is over!
(Backstage, Kirby is heading to the ring, holding a magazine)
Jeff: Oh come on! Not Kirby!
Ryan: Kirby looks like he's heading to the ring! And he's holding a magazine! Something's telling me, that Kirby's gonna read comics to us again!
(Commercial Break)

EXIBITION- vs

Donkey Kong def. Kirby by pinfall
(Glass Shatters and Kirby's music is playing! The lights flash purple and the crowd is booing as Kirby enters)
Dean: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome, KIRBY!
Ryan: Kirby is not scheduled to wrestle today. I don't know what he wants.
Jeff: We all know that Kirby's gonna read that lousy magazine to us! Watch!
(crowd is chanting "asshole" at Kirby)
Ryan: This crowd is all over Kirby.
Kirby: (has a mic) What?! I'm an asshole to you people? Well I don't care! Because I've got happy news for you Kirby fans out there!
Jeff: Which, the amount of Kirby fans is ZERO.
Kirby: Because the second Kirby comic has arrived in Nintendo Power magazine issue 159! My 158 issue may have been ruined by that loser Popo, but the good news is, I'm gonna read you this comic this time! (crowd boos)
Jeff: Oh please! No one wants to hear Kirby read a comic of himself!
Kirby: .....Okay, I found the page. Now this time, no one is gonna play tricks on me, no one's gonna interrupt me, I'm just gonna read! So listen, as this is a preview of my TV Cartoon Show! On the air: September 14th! On at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM! Also, visit my new website www.kirbykirbykirby.com! And I'm coming out with a Gameboy Advance Game as well! This Holiday season! Okay! I'm ready to read my comic! Here we go!
Jeff: Ready to daydream?
Ryan: Yep.
Kirby: Ahem..."Please don't tell the king where--" (DONKEY KONG'S MUSIC INTERRUPTS KIRBY! THE CROWD GOES NUTS!)
Jeff: YES!!! DONKEY KONG HAS STOPPED KIRBY! THANK GOD!
Ryan: HERE COMES DONKEY KONG! He has interrupted Kirby and is making his way to the ring! And he does not look very excited!
(Donkey Kong and Kirby stare each other down! The crowd is chanting for Donkey Kong!)
Kirby: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!! I WAS GOING TO READ MY KIRBY FANS MY COMIC! NO ONE IS SUPPOSED TO INTERFERE! Donkey Kong, YOU SON OF A-- (DONKEY KONG STEALS THE MIC FROM KIRBY!)
Ryan: Uh oh!
DK: Shut your mouth, Rattlesnake! (crowd is cheering) Now what the hell's the matter with you?! Every freakin' month, you have to take the latest issue of that magazine and you read to these fans?! These fans are MY fans! DONKEY KONG'S FANS! You think these people bought $175 tickets to be here, just to see a gay little freak read to them?! No-no-no.
Jeff: Ha! Gay little freak!
DK: You think these people really give a shit about your comic in this magazine? (steals magazine from Kirby!) And what about the new anime series "Kirby: Right Back At Ya"? These people would rank a crappy 4 minute education show higher than your show! (crowd is cheering!)
Ryan: Donkey Kong is making Kirby face turn red!
DK: My Donkey Kong fans would do anything than listen to your comics from your awful show! They would rather have sex with an old retarded kangaroo for god sakes! (crowd goes nuts!) And playing with goats all night, how bout that? (crowd goes nuts again!)
Jeff: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now Donkey Kong is being sick!
Ryan: Kirby's about to explode!
(Kirby steals the mic from DK!)
Kirby: THAT'S IT!!! I'VE HAD IT!!! I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING EVERYONE INSULT ME AND MY SHOW ALL THE TIME! WELL THAT'S IT!!! I'M GOING TO OPEN A CAN OF WHOOP-ASS ON YOU, DONKEY KONG! YOU AND ME! ONE ON ONE! RIGHT NOW!
Ryan: Now Kirby is challenging Donkey Kong to a match right now!
Jeff: Donkey Kong will always accept!
DK: You want to go one on one with Donkey Kong? The challenge is on. (crowd cheers)
Jeff: There it is! He accepted!
DK: I'm going to take this magazine, rip out the comic, turn the comic sideways, and SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR PINK ASS!!! (crowd goes nuts!)
(DONKEY KONG RIPS OUT THE COMIC AND IS TEARING IT INTO PIECES!)
(THE BELL RINGS AS KIRBY GIVES DK THE STONE COLD STUNNER!)
Ryan: Oh look out! KIRBY WITH THE STUNNER!!! THE STUNNER!!! STUNNER ON DONKEY KONG! IT'S ALREADY OVER! (Kirby pins!)
Crowd: 1...(DK KICKS OUT!)
Jeff: Ha ha! Not even close! Cocky little freak!
Ryan: DK spent too much time destroying the comic is how Kirby got DK in the Stunner! Donkey Kong is now attacking Kirby! A jabbing combo!
Jeff: Kirby is inhaling DK! (crowd boos!) Kirby can now steal his opponent's finishing move! KIRBY WITH THE WIND-UP PUNCH!!! (crowd loudly boos!) (Kirby pins again!)
Crowd: 1...2(DK KICKS OUT!)
Ryan: Again, Donkey Kong has kicked out! Stealing your opponent's finishing move is a cheap way to win! DK is up and is punching Kirby like hell! That made DK mad when he got Wind-Up Punched! Kirby is trying to protect himself with that hammer of his.
Jeff: Kirby went for another Wind-Up Punch but missed! Donkey Kong is still punching Kirby and won't stop!
Ryan: Kirby is busted open from all those punches! He's getting weakened. Oh but Kirby with a punching combo of his own! (crowd chants for Donkey Kong!)
Jeff: Donkey Kong just keeps comin back!
Ryan: Whoa! A Power Kick by Kirby!
Jeff: That shut DK up. (Kirby pins)
Crowd: 1...2(DK kicks out!)
Ryan: Nope! Not over yet! You gotta weaken DK down pretty good to keep him down. His endurance is incredible.
Jeff: KIRBY AGAIN WITH THE WIND-UP PUNCH! (crowd is booing!) (Kirby pins!)
Crowd: 1....2.(DK KICKS OUT!)
Jeff: You can't beat your opponent with their finisher! Kirby's hand is too small for the Wind-Up Punch!
Ryan: DK gets up! WHOA! He stomped on Kirby! Here comes a Superkick! WHOA! Kirby reverses! Kirby caught DK's leg! He spins DK, kicks DK and--
Jeff: STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! STUNNER!!! I've seen Austin counter a kick like that into a Stunner! Whoo-hoo! That was awesome! It should be over right here! (Kirby pins!)
Crowd: 1.....2....(DK KICKS OUT! THE CROWD IS CHEERING)
Ryan: NO! NOT OVER YET! DK is too big for Kirby!
Jeff: DK is up! One handed throw on Kirby! He got a Pokeball! He threw it at Kirby! It's Chansey.
Ryan: Wait a minute!
Jeff: ANOTHER WIND-UP PUNCH BY KIRBY! (Crowd is booing!)
Ryan: Kirby's not pinning! He's picking up DK!
Jeff: ANOTHER STUNNER!!! Now it should be over!
(DK GETS UP RIGHT AWAY! THE CROWD IS CHEERING!)
Ryan: Uh oh! There's DK's sit-up ability that the Undertaker used to do!
Jeff: DK is right behind Kirby! Kirby doesn't see him! DK from behind!
Ryan: OH YEAH!!! KIRBY GOES FLYING! (Kirby falls to the ground and DK Pins!)
Crowd: 1.....2...(Kirby kicks out!)
Ryan: Nearly 3! He threw an egg at Kirby! DK has a Beam Sword! He struck Kirby with it!
Jeff: That Beam Sword is about the same strength to a steel chair! That'll keep Kirby down! DK sends Kirby flying again! OH YEAH! Another hit from the Beam Sword! There's another!
Ryan: Someone's gonna fall. Kirby's taking the match to the cloud platform!
Jeff: Now they're back in the ring again!
Ryan: Kirby takes DK down.
Jeff: Uh oh!
Ryan: Kirby's winding up his arm! He's gonna steal the Wind-Up Punch again!
Jeff: DK is up and stunned! Here it comes!
(DK CAUGHT KIRBY'S ARM AND COUNTERS INTO HIS OWN WIND-UP PUNCH!!!)
Ryan: WAIT A MINUTE! DK WITH THE WIND-UP PUNCH!!! HE REVERSED KIRBY'S PUNCH!!!
Jeff: Kirby got a taste of DK's Wind-Up Punch! (DK PINS!)
Crowd: 1.....2.....3!
Jeff: DONKEY KONG DEFEATS KIRBY!
Dean: Here is your winner, DONKEY KONG!!!
Ryan: Let's take a look at the instant replay! Kirby was just about to steal DK's Wind-Up Punch until DK caught his arm and then DK nailed the Wind-Up Punch on Kirby instead!
Jeff: No one can do the Wind-Up Punch better than Donkey Kong!
Ryan: Well up next is the Intercontinental Championship match! Marth defends his title against Ness, who has been absent for nearly 3 months! It's up next!
(Commercial Break)

SSB MELEE BEACH BATTLE IS SPONSORED BY
"KIRBY: COMIN AT YA!" ON FOXBOX SEPT 14
at 9 & 11 AM!

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