"All good things come to those who wait, they've just been used by those who didn't"
-Roy Tweedy

"I'm the pie f***er!"
-Kyle Barnhart

"I hope it feels so good to be right. There's nothing more exhilerating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?"
-Kevin Smith (used in the movie Clerks)

"It takes a big man to cry but it takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man"
-Dizzy Gillespie

"It can take quite a while for a Web page to appear on your screen. The reason for the delay is that, when you type in a Web address, your computer passes it along to another computer, which in turn passes it along to another computer, and so on through as many as 5 computers before it finally reaches the work station of a disgruntled U.S. Postal Service employee, who throws it in the trash."
-Dave Barry

"The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them."
-William Clayton

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
-General Sedgewick, killed at the Spotsylvania battle 1864, imprudently looking over the parapet at the enemy lines

"U need some naked chicks."
-Steven Thompson

"Don't moon the camera at one in the morning"
-Brent Barnhart