| The WIFES PAGE!! THE TRUTH..it HURTS from Roxys' FRIEND. |
| Hi Friends, I'm a WIFE of a CD.and this is my page., my room, NOT his or HERS !!! I am sure I will probably UPSET a Few people but hopefully I will bring some insight too..I was Mad as HELL and wasn't going to take it anymore !! How should I begin, the truth.. the feelings.. the thought that I didn't marry a complete Man.. or the HURT -Pain and self disappointments..Thought of homacide or suacide (REALLY); OK; YOU are a FAG in a dress right? You are Gay? You don't want to be with me? I'm not pretty enough, I'm not good enough for you? Why.. what's wrong with you? It's HER or ME, I'm outta here!! What if your MOM finds OUT? What if my God fearing GRANDMOTHER finds out-Who LOVES you SO MUCH as if you were her grandson? What will my FAMILY say ? As if they don't say enough already? How much More of this Shi...t do I have to go threw with you..? Why didn't you tell me before hand, before you trapped me like a MOUSE in A trap eating a piece of cheese and the cat is right on my TAIL!! I even thought about cutting the Zinggy OFF!!!! REALLY I did..I would look at him getting out of the shower and turn my head away..Because All I could see was BYE BYE.. DINGY... The Pressure: The Feelings of me not being able to be the woman I was born to be, The woman I was.. the one that with depression after ROXY came along..I tried Affairs, I tried Leaving, I tried staying away, I tried ignoring it..ignoring her..but how easy is that when you go shopping with your husband and you find him in the bra department ..or he manages some how to get you over there..at least once before you leave the store...I stopped doing the Woman things shaving, doing my nails, Cleaning, cooking, wearing my CLOTHES ..the ones that SHE would WEAR of MINE!! ..Part of my stopping I thought was my Christian Beliefs or maybe a easy cop out !! " Ladys" clothing..POOHH..I don't have the time for it..I said this one many times: ( I'm just waisting my time, whats the use, no one cares anyway how I look!! )I stopped wanting to be ME!! ...Stopped the desire of who I was..I LOST ME !! She was taking my place..even tho.. most of the time I was looking at the MAN I married..She was still there in front of me..On the net I would find her looking for things..where she had been there..He stashed her away put her up..But she was still always there..If I was doing my makeup she was there, in HIS body but she was there..She was pretty and I was ugly so what was my use...She was the better cook, She was the one that didn't get bumps on her legs from shaving, She had clear skin and I didn't..Her Legs was Long and skinny / mine was chubby. Her boobs fit the bra..one of mine is too big for the bras I like..I had strech marks from having kids, she didn't..I couldn't wear the Short skirts and look as good as her..She didn't have monthly periods and I did ( Sometimes )..She had MEN looking at her and wanting to talk to her when we went out..She was sitting in the car, I was standing right behind the MEN..they didn't notice me.. but did her..The neighbor asked who was that PRETTY Blonde.. Oh my GOd I think I KNOW HER ! ! - YEA, RIGHT!! You would like to get to know her!! All I heard was I got to get, I want to, Is this DRESS ok, Is this outfit ok, Is these shoes ok, My hair, these nails don't fit, I wonder what it's like to wear danggely ear rings, I this I that !!! But if I said I've got to get a pair of shoes I heard ..You have enough already ..how many more do you need, You have enough to start a shoe department now, or if I said I need new under wear I heard well so do I. I need to get my hair cut, He came home with his cut !! Mine is Still long with dead ends..If I shaved and the bumps came out.. I heard YOU HAVE BUMPS on the back of your LEGS..YEA, Da... I know that!! you get those when you shave sometimes...He has a natural dark complextion.. I do NOT... If I said I needed a new slip..He would say You have how many? - the SHE side says ( WE have to get new SLIPS-These Slips have got to go) , She gets razor burns and bumps..SHE goes for the powder and the oil.. Says how the panty hose or the skirt is to tight... The SHE now understands that we WOMEN must sometimes wear what we don't want to, things are not as easy to get into as they seem and we can't just wear a dress and look great to go to the greasy honda shop to work or sit. We can't work in makeup without air conditioning..If we have a new silk shirt it is very hard to wash the dishes..and putting on clothes with makeup on already is just more work..for the makeup gets on the clean clothes and they have to be rewashed, then the makeup must be fixed, then the hair has to be re fixed...and so on... My understanding: The Girl in Him will never go away, if he looses her he looses himself..he may even lose his life because of the depression..( He already Lost his KIDS..and his EXWIFE do to the depression.. ) HE / She looks up to me and other women as a big SISter..A Friend..( YES a FRIEND ) Do you ever get in a SPAT with your Girl Friend? same thing !! You share a mirror with your Girlfriend getting ready to go out on a date / She gets in your way sometimes, she puts on the wrong colors and you tell her she does!! Or you put on the wrong LIP STICK and she laughs at you..IT's really the SAME thing!! Had a secret that you wished you could tell your husband? You can TELL your FRIEND ! ! and Know in your heart that it isn't going to be spred all over the girls locker room at the gym. RELATIONSHIPS are a Give and take thing!! BOTH parties give and both TAKE.. Plain and simple!! Cross dressing isn't really for me .. or maybe is it? I would love to know what men talk about when they are away from the wives..I would love to know if the MONCHO man would take the time to brush his wifes hair? I would love to SEE what a man sees when he's actualy paying attention..Wouldn't it be funny to walk in and sit next to your boyfriend as a man and see him looking at another girl? humm.. I don't think so.. But, it would be away to find out..So I let my husband Leave the house in womans panties..ok.. wait lets look at like this. He doesn't leave in womans panties, he leaves goes to the gas station sees some beautiful girl..he's been depressed and not talking or you just yelled at him for something small, this young girl is at the station saying how she would love to find a sensitive male.. he just happens to over hear her..wonder what he's going to do? Sence he's so sensitive in your opion..he goes up to her and says I know exactly what you are saying...( I'll let your mind take it from that point ) OK, now.. I let my Husband wear Womans Panties out under his male clothing..Yes he shaves..he goes to the station sees this girl and feels sorry for her yes..Goes up to her and talks to her to make her feel better..she starts laughing .. things get a little to " FRIENDLY" ..she says how about you take me home and we show him a thing or two, How likely is it that a Man shaved ( ALL OVER ), with womans panties and or BRA on under mans Clothes is going to go home with that GIRL ??? |
| The way I got OVER IT!! I was talking to my mother on the phone, ran some bath water told my husband to get in the tub and take a bath..Asked him to go get the the box, while I was on the Phone!! He said it's to late at night I said, I don't care how late it is, GET your Bath and get ready..after I hung up with speaking with my mother, he was shaving his legs and underarms..I grabbed the soap without saying a word..and a razor.. then I shaved his arms!! He asked what are you doing..I said Don't worry about IT!! and continued..He got out I said go get the ICE cubes from the fridge oh and a white towl too..I went and got a needle and pierced his other ear.. I think I was more Affraid than HIM!! YES, there will be and still is problems, We own a business in town, He still hasn't told his family..I have told MY mom about it, She said just don't cut off your hair and go FLIPPING out....I'm your mother and I brought you up open minded.. you are able to choose.. I hear something in your voice tho..that MOMMY don't like... ( Like it would've mattered anyhow...to me) He bowls every week with his sister, brother inlaw and niece on a league. and they are what I call CLOSED MINDED PEOPLE..LIKE I was..even tho I thought I was open MINDED and my mom thought I was.. He sees his mother often and talks to her mostly at least once a day on the phone, and she comes to the shop sometimes unanouced. ( AND I AM VERY CLOSE to HIS MOM ) like I'm another DAUGHTER !! We have people that show up at home unanounced..and they are in for a shock..Because, When he is home..I wish to see him as ROXANNE,..even if it's just a bra, panties, and T-Shirt..He stays shaven.. so when people knock on the door he answers it with shorts on.. OH WELL!! He drives down the road gets into a wreck and goes to the hospital they will be in for a surprize..( I was a NURSE..I gave it up when I got really DEPRESSED..NOW I WORK with him at home sometimes or at the shop..So they better TREAT him TOO and not refuse. like they have done to other CDs) BEST of LUCK to you and your CD !!!!! |
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| YES, this is me..the WIFE of Wonderful Man that is a beautiful CD |
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| NO HATE MAIL PLEASE, feel free to ask questions if I can Help you understand I will try .. Know this.. God Loves all of us..we are special People!! The beauty of one comes from YOUR inside OUTWARD. * I learned that from My FRIEND ROXY.. If we stop listening, watching, learning, caring we stop existing as HUMANS and become Something LESS!! |
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